Mother and father want action after school allows their daughter to leave with a rapist

[worgeordie]

It looks like its  School managements and Teachers,.hat need to get an education,

they are nearly on par with Temples and Monks,for bad press.

regards Worgeordie

[chrisinth]

4 hours ago, AlQaholic said:

When I was a kid, in my country at least, there was no question of who was responsible for protection of the children going to the school. There simply was no protection because nobody needed it. 

Anyway anybody can pick up a young girl from anywhere and rape her, the fact it happened at the school is just coincidental, yes the school should have protected the girl, but the rapist would have raped at some point anyway. And of course the rapist knew the girl and the girl knew him, otherwise it wouldn't have happened.

 

I would need to ask if that young 11 yo girl was under your protection would you hand her over to someone?

 

At the end of the day, when a child is attending school, they come under the protection of that establishment.

[Stokakrishna]

the sad truth is that most schools in thailand  are just named schools but in fact they are not, just businesses,  where they do not care about providing  education or care for kids, just to make as much money as possible

[Kasset Tak]

The man must clearly have known the family, more than 1 thing in this report shows that.

1. She went willingly with him.

2. If he talked to any teacher claiming that he needed her for her parents he must have mentioned her and/or her parents names.

And so on.

 

Just now, whatproblem said:

In England gates are locked so no one can go inside ,this needs to happen here 

Many schools here has that but then people (parents, teachers etc) complain that the gates are locked. If it's a big school they many times have a guard that opens and close the gate. That guard should also control any vehicles or persons entering the school ground but 9 times out of 10 they let anyone pass, I have even been inside Thai military installations... just waived true! Only places they have been strict with me are tourist attractions, where they are after my money!

 

We have water and fences surrounding the college, now when we had this heavy rain we had a small flood because students had thrown rocks and other things in the river to make a makeshift bridge to sneak out of the college, it basically acted as a dam/dyke when all the water came...

[cyberfarang]

To me an 11 year old is still a baby. In my eyes when I see children, whether related to me or not, I think either snotty nosed little brats or aahhh aren't they cute. That in my opinion is how normal adults react around children.

 

Adults that can become sexually aroused by children have a terrible mental sickness, wrapped beyond a normal persons comprehension and therefore the only rational treatment is total castration as a priority precaution to keep the kids safe.

[greenchair]

5 hours ago, Acharn said:

There's certainly plenty to question in this story. He didn't know the girl? Then how did he tell the teacher which child he wanted to take away? "Hi, I need to take a young girl to see her parents." "Which girl?" "Oh, I dunno, how about that one over there?" "Oh, sure, that makes sense."

I don't think so.

Exactly my thoughts. 

Is the school telling the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 

Poor girl, she will never get over this. What's the school name by the way? ??

[metisdead]

An off topic post has been removed, this is not about any bill that has been passed in California. 

[gchurch259]

Two 9MM, one in the groin and thirty minutes later one in the forehead, justice done.

 

School system must provide free college for the young girl.

[Ceruhe]

3 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

Our sons (13) are not allowed in their sisters room, that is how strict/bent, if you like, we are.

Do tell me more about that.

 

Namingly...

- do they know the reason as to why they are not allowed

--if they do, are they "deep down" aware of what the even means?

- are they/have they started acting hostile toward their sister or you parents because of that?

- do they still adequately respect her on a level playing field or consider her a protected class of a higher value than themselves?

- if everything seems normal and acting as always, can there be a hidden resentment or anything seen that rooted, well, not on the surface?

 

Genuine curiousity, not intending to lecture/shame/criticize you on that. Though I think in all honesty if it came to myself in that aspect and once I understood just what actually was done to me, I think I'd resent you for the rest of my life for having assumed me to be a "sleeper-rapist in the making" so to say. I'm the youngest of 3 in an all boys family, so I can't really put these emotions/thoughts into a proper context per se, but retroactive and rhetorical thinking I'm tempted to say I would've "okay understood" it back then but not actually understood until years later and turned that into a more hate-filled emotion towards the parents despite being aware of it "simply being protective measures" only, the rational at this point would not have been justified to me anymore.

[lvr181]

The underlying principle for anything Thai seems to be "Face". The saving of, first and foremost. Sad really   

 

I am not a devotee of Buddhism but is this what Buddha teaches? Or as so often happens with religion (but I think of Buddhism as a way of life) the teachings are distorted to suit the earthly goals of some people.

[greenchair]

37 minutes ago, Ceruhe said:

Do tell me more about that.

 

Namingly...

- do they know the reason as to why they are not allowed

--if they do, are they "deep down" aware of what the even means?

- are they/have they started acting hostile toward their sister or you parents because of that?

- do they still adequately respect her on a level playing field or consider her a protected class of a higher value than themselves?

- if everything seems normal and acting as always, can there be a hidden resentment or anything seen that rooted, well, not on the surface?

 

Genuine curiousity, not intending to lecture/shame/criticize you on that. Though I think in all honesty if it came to myself in that aspect and once I understood just what actually was done to me, I think I'd resent you for the rest of my life for having assumed me to be a "sleeper-rapist in the making" so to say. I'm the youngest of 3 in an all boys family, so I can't really put these emotions/thoughts into a proper context per se, but retroactive and rhetorical thinking I'm tempted to say I would've "okay understood" it back then but not actually understood until years later and turned that into a more hate-filled emotion towards the parents despite being aware of it "simply being protective measures" only, the rational at this point would not have been justified to me anymore.

 

Well that's a nutty reply. 

Not letting 13 year old boys in the girls bedroom is teaching the boys to be respectful of women .

My 10 year old son, has many friends that are female, that also come to our house to play. I have taught him well to keep his hands to himself. Even at his young age, he notices girls, and has seen hugging or kissing on TV. Without going into details, i make sure  he is well aware that the legal age to have a girlfriend or kiss girls is 18. That includes the legal age of him to allow a girl to give affection.  He understands what is good touching and bad touching. He doesn't ask for details as he has no concept of the details, but teaching boys to be respectful before having all the details is a duty of every parent. 

Now because nobody reigned this lad in at a young age, this little girls life is ruined and the young man will go to prison. I am betting he was doing some kidding fiddling long before he made the leap to rape. 

[Artisi]

5 hours ago, whatproblem said:

In England gates are locked so no one can go inside ,this needs to happen here 

Yes,  same in Australia, no access to the "school" area and no child can leave with just anyone , there is rigid protocol to be followed and rightly so.

 

.

[dunroaming]

It's the culture of non responsibility that makes things like this happen.  Nobody in Thailand ever admits responsibility for anything and that is accepted by everyone else.  Therefore when there is no responsibility expected there is always a face saving get out.  hence nobody needs to give a sh*t

[Ceruhe]

5 minutes ago, greenchair said:

Well that's a nutty reply. 

Not letting 13 year old boys in the girls bedroom is teaching the boys to be respectful of women .

Kids at that age have no inherent understanding of what respect means, let alone why it's "only toward women". Just because everykid here wai's at their elders and what have you doesn't constitute respect to me, but simply automated behaviour. I say this with myself, I give everybody that I don't know a "baseline" respect, but that's about it. A greeting is baseline to me but has no further implication that I "respect" that person any more or less, call it a sign of politeness instead of respect.

 

With that said, I don't understand how preventing them to go into the girls (sister to be more specific, I will draw a line between friends/strangers over direct family here) teaches them respect. Respect to me in this case is knocking and ask to come inside instead of just entering. Furthermore, and again because I can't draw parallels as the youngest in a boys home, my main intent is most likely to play togehter (you know, what kids ought to be doing at that age, then again maybe not nowadays anymore with all them gadgets) or call her for dinner or something like that.

Both in the post I'm inquiring about as well as your reply also hold no hint at "but the girls are also not allowed to go into the boys room" whatsoever, which makes me question if this "respect" you are telling me about magically only works only in one direction. No, this is not a self-explanatory "of course that is the case it wasn't worth mentioning to point that out as well". Likewise, are the boys not allowed to enter each others room as well? What makes teaching "respect for boys/men" any different?

 

Personally, I can only build respect to somebody that I can treat as my equal, if that frame isn't given, it ain't happening one way or another or is limited altogether. I'll skip over authority or fear based respect etc and "doing it but not meaning it" respect among others, that might be a bit too exentive and off-topic and of no further relevance.

[seahorse]

22 hours ago, Acharn said:

Well, they don't exactly need to protect the school, but they need to protect themselves from liability. Of course they use the excuse of protecting the school to enlist the cooperation of all the teachers, who must fear for their jobs. It won't work. It never does.

I think the impression that this kind of thing is happening more often is in your imagination.

 

Compare and contrast the way this incident in the UK was dealt with. The school is featured prominently. The child and parents are not mentioned. There is information for parents of other children at that school. The focus is on preventing something similar happening again.

[4MyEgo]

22 hours ago, louse1953 said:

I don't suppose you could get to the pickup zone before school finishes.

 

Sorry for the delayed reply Louse53 but couldn't return the quote for some reason, all good now.

 

Yes I am usually 99% of the time at the school before they finish their anthem, but on this occasion I was 3 minutes late stuck in the school driveway trying to get in amongst the chaos.

 

Yesterday I had to park outside and walk in all the way to the back.

[4MyEgo]

21 hours ago, Ceruhe said:

Do tell me more about that.

 

Namingly...

- do they know the reason as to why they are not allowed

--if they do, are they "deep down" aware of what the even means?

- are they/have they started acting hostile toward their sister or you parents because of that?

- do they still adequately respect her on a level playing field or consider her a protected class of a higher value than themselves?

- if everything seems normal and acting as always, can there be a hidden resentment or anything seen that rooted, well, not on the surface?

 

Genuine curiousity, not intending to lecture/shame/criticize you on that. Though I think in all honesty if it came to myself in that aspect and once I understood just what actually was done to me, I think I'd resent you for the rest of my life for having assumed me to be a "sleeper-rapist in the making" so to say. I'm the youngest of 3 in an all boys family, so I can't really put these emotions/thoughts into a proper context per se, but retroactive and rhetorical thinking I'm tempted to say I would've "okay understood" it back then but not actually understood until years later and turned that into a more hate-filled emotion towards the parents despite being aware of it "simply being protective measures" only, the rational at this point would not have been justified to me anymore.

 

Sorry for the delayed reply, computer issue.

 

Will try to answer your questions best I can.

 

Yes, they are aware that each have their own bedroom, no one is to access anyone's room, the reasons are privacy, e.g. daughter changing, boys changing, parents changing, and everyone has their own bathrooms, one for the boys, one for the girls and one for the parents. 

 

How they feel "deep down" is of no concern to me, my ship, my rules, kids are kids, they have areas to play together, but bedrooms and bathrooms that are not theirs are out of bounds, although I have found the boys in the girls rooms at times and visa-versa, and each are shown the door.

 

No hostility from any child to any child, they are all treated equally and punished equally, if they have hostility towards me, its not shown, and I am their father 1st, friend 2nd, respect is of the utmost importance to me, not friendship although it is important that they can and do approach me, my father was a hard man, but fair, I could always approach him, and fear him at the same time, I still respect him to this day.

 

The boys still respect their sisters and have been told from day one, that they are their sisters protectors, and they do a damn good job at looking after them, and they know when their sisters step out of line, to bring them back in line, or they can involve dad or mum, it also works the other way around if the boys step out of line, so as you can imagine, we do raise our voices from time to time, but run a good organised, not military style ship, everyone pulls their weight.

 

We have an open policy in our household, cards on the table, if something is bothering you, speak up or hold onto it, and trust me, they speak up, tell on each other etc etc, both mum and dad have to sort it, and they all know there is to be no hard feelings, do the crime, cop the punishment.

 

What I personally try to avoid is leaving my daughters "alone" in an environment with any males, statistics show that 75% of rape victims are usually raped by FAMILY members, be it a grandfather, father, brother, uncle, or cousin.

 

I don't care if anyone reading this thinks I am paranoid or over the top, I have a duty of care to my kids, including my sons, more so my daughters, that they are never put in a situation were they are exposed to the possibility of being raped or touch by a male. In my life experience I have encountered women who had been sexually abused by their brother/s, father, uncle, scared for life, not nice, and the statistics is enough for me to also act, I have the full support of my wife, and if she wasn't happy with the suggested rules from the outset she would have put her two bobs worth in, cards on the table, she is far tougher than me by far, I just have a louder, deeper voice, but when she cracks the whip, the kids scatter for safety.

 

The kids all play and get on like normal kids, we just have boundaries, and keep teaching our daughters sit with their legs closed from early, e.g. big brothers looking, but you have to teach them from young, someone else is watching, e.g. close the curtains in your bedroom after showering.

 

I trust NO male alone with my daughters, its as simple as that, and if the boys feel inadequate or down or whatever, its not my problem, I guard our daughters like a wolf, its my duty as their father, and I hassard a guess the boys understand that their sisters are different, and each has to have separate areas, like at school, e.g. toilets.

 

Hope that answers your questions.

[Ceruhe]

8 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Hope that answers your questions.

I guess for the most part, thx for that.

 

In any case I'm saddened to read, twice for that matter, that "I don't care how they feel about that" regardless if they do or not. But well, that's how gynocentric society ticks right now and if it's working out for you, then that's great. Continued good luck with that approach anyhow.

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, Ceruhe said:

I guess for the most part, thx for that.

 

In any case I'm saddened to read, twice for that matter, that "I don't care how they feel about that" regardless if they do or not. But well, that's how gynocentric society ticks right now and if it's working out for you, then that's great. Continued good luck with that approach anyhow.

 

Sorry you feel that way, the school of hard Knox does come at a price, I am well aware.

 

Society is what it is because men and women are treated differently. So you either close your eyes. run, skip, crawl or stagger through the mine field hoping to make it across in one piece, or you will pull everything out that you have to steer them into a safer path.