pattayalover Posted October 15, 2016 Author Share Posted October 15, 2016 first she is from South. not from Isaan she has old parents and soon she will be alone with her sister after parents are dead. this is why she worries a lot. where to go if she lose her job . both sister take care of parents. my gf send little money, her sister cook and have a little job. it s not a lot of money and I have never gave her anything after soon 8 years. I was thinking to make her sign an agreement and make it notarised that it s my money invested in a house. I think I owe her something after all these years she took care of me. I was thinking to buy a condo in Pattaya but they are too attached to go back where they are born. the house can be built by her cousins who built house already. she has around 80 sqm very old woody house that must be demolished and build a new one. I was thinking of 2 bed room, one kitchen, small bathroom, and roof extended to keep bike away from sun & rain. never been married, she want but I told her we are together already. I think it's better to keep things simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elliss Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 6 hours ago, Dipterocarp said: Buy yourself a trip to Las Vegas and put $10,000 in the slots instead. Better odds. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Tutt Tutt , what a negative attitude . Buy, and loose a house or two , then you qualify , for real farang status , premier class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Thunder Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 19 minutes ago, pattayalover said: I was thinking to buy a condo in Pattaya but they are too attached to go back where they are born. More like trying their hardest to detach you from your money?The whole thing stinks I honestly wouldn't touch it with a barge pole if I were you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepinthailand Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Don't listen to the doomsayers most had your lass wrongly tagged as issan. 400000k not a lot can build a thai style house for that if you have labour in family. No point in my opinion of trying to get any sort of agreement re land or house. If it goes belly up you wouldn't want to live there anyway. Not sure if the law here covers boyfriend girl friend relationships ie if you are entitled to half the house but I doubt it very much. 8 years is long enough to make up your own mind. Has she ripped you off in the 8 years?? I suspect not otherwise you would not be a asking on here so just go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gringogazzer Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 No Usufruct or lease is free, without enriching the owner,Section 531 CCC: The donor can claim revocation of a gift for an act of ingratitude ... if the donee seriously defamed or insulted the donor. Section 534 CCC: If the gift is revoked, the property shall be returned under the provisions of this Code concerning Undue Enrichment.& if you marry her less protection,Section 1469 CCC: “Any agreement concluded between husband and wife during marriage may be avoided by either of them at any time during marriage or within one year from the day of dissolution of marriage; provided that the rights of third persons acting in good faith are not affected thereby.”"In Thailand the marriage is the game-over for a usufruct." Or in other words: "Your usufruct is not safe, before your Thai wife passes away."So before marriage you may as well rent your own land away from the family's interference if the relationship goes wrong as you'll have to pay a "fair" rate for the lease/Usufruct to be lawful/enforceable. After marriage...doomed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Together for 7 years and you won't marry her and aren't sure if you should build a house? You say she takes good care of you. And she is 10 years younger than you, so when you're gone what will she have to fall back on after all these years with you? Unbelievable!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cockwomble Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Why would you build a house to live with the family? Somchai is probably rubbing his hands with glee. Whatever you do, don't gave a big life insurance payout Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howerde Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 (edited) After 7 years i say go for it, if you love her and want to be with her, its good she supports parents etc, don't be put off by stories of bar girls ripping of cutomers(farang husbands) these girls are just doing their job, can you afford it? Lots of cuples break up, if you did would you want to live there, time to show some commitment Edited October 15, 2016 by howerde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harold the Great Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 10 hours ago, pattayalover said: Any and I mean any money that leaves your hands and enters a thai hand is gone for ever, rule #1. She will build the house and when you stop giving her money you will need to build another house with another Thai woman rule #2 build or buy your own house and tell her your renting it and live in it with her. When your tired of her you can punt her out and continue to live in your house. Never ever underestimate the deviant behaviour of a thai person ever!!!!!!!!!. Another option is to put the down payment on a loan at a bank for her and help her make the monthly payments. Then and only then will you have some form of control for a few years allowing her to prove her commitment to you other than her financial wants should she be only interested in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harold the Great Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 32 minutes ago, AYJAYDEE said: seriously you made this comment to this guy. What did she have before she met him? What would she have had she not met him? What does she owe him for providing for her while he was alive when no one else would or could in this country? He does not owe her anything just like no one owes any women anything at anytime. If a women wants to have access to half of his money or belonging then she should go to work and provide exactly and I mean exactly half of what he provides. She would have had to look after herself before she met him and now she looks after him and he looks after her thus its at best equal and when the relationship is over so is that relatively fair agreement. Its hard to imagine you would attempt to bring into your comments somekind of moral obligation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harold the Great Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 1 hour ago, elliss said: 8 hours ago, Dipterocarp said: this is an awesome comment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harold the Great Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 40 minutes ago, Cockwomble said: rubbing awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 9 minutes ago, Harold the Great said: seriously you made this comment to this guy. What did she have before she met him? What would she have had she not met him? What does she owe him for providing for her while he was alive when no one else would or could in this country? He does not owe her anything just like no one owes any women anything at anytime. If a women wants to have access to half of his money or belonging then she should go to work and provide exactly and I mean exactly half of what he provides. She would have had to look after herself before she met him and now she looks after him and he looks after her thus its at best equal and when the relationship is over so is that relatively fair agreement. Its hard to imagine you would attempt to bring into your comments somekind of moral obligation and yet another who just doesn't get it!! If she had not met him, she quite likely would have met a guy who is not afraid of commitment like this guy so obviously is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gringogazzer Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Together for 7 years and you won't marry her and aren't sure if you should build a house? You say she takes good care of you. And she is 10 years younger than you, so when you're gone what will she have to fall back on after all these years with you? Unbelievable!!!Very true, very true... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phatbeets Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Shake my head at the warm-hearted common sense therapists in this thread Same guys giving moral lessons when they live right next to a whorehouse in real life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendejo Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 11 hours ago, trainman34014 said: In Thailand there is a golden rule.......Only spend what you can afford to walk away from. That's like my rule: in a country where you are not a citizen don't buy anything you can't take with you if you suddenly have to leave. Unless you can afford to take the loss. I came up with this in South America. I met local people who's families have owned property for decades, if not generations, and then one day some lawyers and gov't workers show up and explained the deeds were invalid because they were signed on a Friday preceding a national holiday, or some such nonsense. With a foreigner there is the possibility they'll top that off with that the transaction was a crime, and 72 hour notice to leave the country. Don't mean to be morbid, but if the gf dies the family can toss your ass out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Changwatchap Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 7 years and you have met the family 3 times? Anyway, buy it for yourself, after seven years surely you are a unit and it doesnt need to be in her name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaalle Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Together for 7 years and you won't marry her and aren't sure if you should build a house? You say she takes good care of you. And she is 10 years younger than you, so when you're gone what will she have to fall back on after all these years with you? Unbelievable!!!Haha amazing...A man is together with a woman and somehow he has an obligation to spend 400 k baht on her? Why? Because she is nice enough to be with him? This sort of stuff is just so sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 29 minutes ago, Kaalle said: Haha amazing... A man is together with a woman and somehow he has an obligation to spend 400 k baht on her? Why? Because she is nice enough to be with him? This sort of stuff is just so sad. it's called commitment, adults understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 32 minutes ago, Changwatchap said: 7 years and you have met the family 3 times? Anyway, buy it for yourself, after seven years surely you are a unit and it doesnt need to be in her name. the land does Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaalle Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 it's called commitment, adults understand.No its called having to spend money just to have some one be with you. Its the definition of sad. You pay your friends to hang out with you as well? Or do you just buy them a car ones every year or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Just now, Kaalle said: No its called having to spend money just to have some one around you. Its the definition of sad. You pay your friends to hang out with you too? Or do you just buy them a car ones every year or something? nope. but I do get as much or more out of my marriage as I put in. Like I said, it's an adult thing. Ask one of your friends to explain it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaalle Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 I dont need to spend money on women for them too be with me and treat me good. Emotional commitment is enough. Its a self respect thing ask one of your friends about it, maybe you can rent one for a couple of hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintLouisBlues Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 10 minutes ago, Kaalle said: No its called having to spend money just to have some one be with you. Its the definition of sad. You pay your friends to hang out with you as well? Or do you just buy them a car ones every year or something? Friends are for friendship, sex is just a hobby. I spend money on my hobbies. My friends have their own money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaalle Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Friends are for friendship, sex is just a hobby. I spend money on my hobbies. My friends have their own money.Paying for sex I have no problems with, I can clearly see the reasoning and logic. We are talking about love and relationships here though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintLouisBlues Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 1 minute ago, Kaalle said: Paying for sex I have no problems with, I can clearly see the reasoning and logic. We are talking about love and relationships here though. "Love" is merely one endocrine system calling out to another Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 39 minutes ago, Kaalle said: I dont need to spend money on women for them too be with me and treat me good. Emotional commitment is enough. Its a self respect thing ask one of your friends about it, maybe you can rent one for a couple of hours. obviously, you don't know the meaning of real commitment. it has nothing to do with spending money ON someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaalle Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 obviously, you don't know the meaning of real commitment. it has nothing to do with spending money ON someone.We are talking about money, and you brought commitment in to it. You cant have it any other way. Please explain further what you mean. If they put in 200 k each that would be reasonable and both would be showing commitment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 7 minutes ago, Kaalle said: We are talking about money, and you brought commitment in to it. You cant have it any other way. Please explain further what you mean. If they put in 200 k each that would be reasonable and both would be showing commitment. of course I brought commitment into it. he won't commit to the future well being of his partner if he happens to pass on. she should dump him and find someone that will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepinthailand Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 7 hours ago, Harold the Great said: Any and I mean any money that leaves your hands and enters a thai hand is gone for ever, rule #1. She will build the house and when you stop giving her money you will need to build another house with another Thai woman rule #2 build or buy your own house and tell her your renting it and live in it with her. When your tired of her you can punt her out and continue to live in your house. Never ever underestimate the deviant behaviour of a thai person ever!!!!!!!!!. Another option is to put the down payment on a loan at a bank for her and help her make the monthly payments. Then and only then will you have some form of control for a few years allowing her to prove her commitment to you other than her financial wants should she be only interested in that. The words horse manure immediately spring to mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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