Ex Girlfriend Threatening To Take My Son

[Puyai]

Hello.

Quick background story.

Lived in Thailand for 6 years with my Lao girlfriend.

Went back August 2015 to the U.K. with my son. The attention was for her to follow after.

In this time I have bought him back to Thailand and Laos twice to visit her.

She found someone else about 6 months ago and found this out quite recently. In the 6 months she told me copious amounts of lies.

I have now bought my son to Thailand to visit his mum. I bought her a plane ticket to meet me in Bangkok to visit. I also sent her some money so she could get here. I did not want to take him to Laos as I'm afraid I won't get him back. She did not get on the plane and also took the money from western union. She is now threatening to call the British Embassy saying that I am not letting her see her son. That is not the case, she could still see him now just on mutual ground.

Is there anything she could do to stop me leaving the country with him?

He has a British passport.

Is enrolled in school in the U.K.

He does not have a Lao passport.

If you need any more information please ask.

I

His mother is in Loas

[DipStick]

Personally I think you're laughing, all the odds are stacked against her and to compound her problems, it appears she is still in Laos.

as your reason for bringing your son to Thailand has gone pear shaped, if I were you I would get on a flight back to Blighty ASAP.

[robertthebruce]

If I was you, I would get on the first plane back to the UK....

 

you tried, she ain't interested, just wants the money it seems...

 

 

[Puyai]

Does she stand a chance of doing anything with her in Laos. She's saying her new boyfriend knows people in the embassy.

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[Puyai]

She doesn't want any money, her new guy has lots supposedly.

She just wants me to go to nongkhai and for her to take my son to Laos. I told her that's not happening for the obvious reason.

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[Strange]

Quit pandering to her nonsense and go back to the UK with your son. 

 

Parasitic women like this won't quit unless you sever ties. 

 

Is there anything she can do? No. 

[Strange]

10 minutes ago, Puyai said:

Does she stand a chance of doing anything with her in Laos. She's saying her new boyfriend knows people in the embassy.

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And her threats are working on you. Her new "boyfriend" can't to anything to you nor get anyone in the embassy to do anything either. 

 

Just walk. 

[MikeyIdea]

Many problems this week...  

 

Are you legally married with the mother anywhere? Where? Have you processed any papers to legitimize your child anywhere?  Your son: Where is the child born and if outside Laos, is your son a Laos citizen = has the mother formally processed any paperwork to that effect?

 

Yes, you could maybe have problems if the child looks half Thai. Perhaps the British passport says that your son is born in Thailand. Can't blame immigration if they initially think that he is Thai and therefore need to investigate...  

 

The Stamps will show that he came in with you without the mother so you should be fine but it is not 100% straight forward. Do you have any evidence that his mother is not Thai and your son thereby not Thai? What you need in the eyes of immigration is evidence that the child is not Thai

 

I don't know the UK rules but it could be possible that the mother has sole custody in the UK because your son is born abroad out of wedlock even though she never has been there. My daughter has Swedish and Thai citizenships and carry both passports, born in Thailand, I am not married to the mother. I arranged shared custody in Thailand but never bothered to do it in Sweden. Swedish law actually gives the mother sole custody in Sweden...   But I'll hopefully never going to go there

 

The "call the British Embassy" is rubbish, they won't care and she will get nowhere there. Confirm that you really have shared custody in the UK and continue to do what you do now - Give her opportunity to see her son on neutral ground and keep evidence that you give her opportunity to see the child.

 

I suggest that you confirm with the Thai embassy when you get back to the UK, perhaps you should move neutral ground to Singapore in the future :)

 

Good Luck

 

[Puyai]

We are not married.

No papers processed.

Child was born in Thailand.

The mother has done nothing.

My son is not a Lao citizen.

Thanks for your reply.


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[blackcab]

Firstly, let me absolutely assure you it doesn't matter who her new boyfriend knows at the British Embassy. It just doesn't work like that. Seriously, the people with power to do things are career diplomats with the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. They will absolutely not take any rash, unauthorised or unsanctioned action. You have nothing to worry about there. Really believe me.

 

Secondly, what would the British Embassy or anyone else do? You are talking about a British citizen travelling with his father. The child is not a dual national. Furthermore, without the child's birth certificate on hand the mother can't even prove she is his mother.

 

You are in Thailand, so at the minute Thai law counts. The child is not Thai, so there is very little incentive for anyone in Thailand to get involved. Why would Thai immigration want to separate a British child from his British father anyway? If they did, that is when the British Embassy would get involved.

 

The only possible reason would be if your son was the subject of an Interpol yellow notice, which are issued for missing persons, especially for abducted children.

 

Let me put your mind at ease with that. For starters your child is not Lao, so it would be an uphill struggle for her to get Laos Interpol to take any action. On which note, to put everything into perspective, there are currently over 8,000 yellow notices worldwide. Out of that total, Laos has exactly zero children listed. So it's not looking especially good for her on that front either.

 

However, when all is said and done, I would go back to the UK and I would not bring your son back to SE Asia at all.

[Puyai]

Thanks for the reply Black Cab. What you said about the embassy getting involved is exactly what I told her, I was just looking for reassurances from other people on the subject. Thanks again everyone.


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[whatproblem]

Can you hide a tracker in one of your kids favourite toys just in case ,at least then you could find where he is

[TheFishman1]

If you are here for her to see her child and you send money for her to come and she did. It why are you still here? Take first flight home End of story 

[realenglish1]

9 hours ago, blackcab said:

Firstly, let me absolutely assure you it doesn't matter who her new boyfriend knows at the British Embassy. It just doesn't work like that. Seriously, the people with power to do things are career diplomats with the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. They will absolutely not take any rash, unauthorised or unsanctioned action. You have nothing to worry about there. Really believe me.

 

Secondly, what would the British Embassy or anyone else do? You are talking about a British citizen travelling with his father. The child is not a dual national. Furthermore, without the child's birth certificate on hand the mother can't even prove she is his mother.

 

You are in Thailand, so at the minute Thai law counts. The child is not Thai, so there is very little incentive for anyone in Thailand to get involved. Why would Thai immigration want to separate a British child from his British father anyway? If they did, that is when the British Embassy would get involved.

 

The only possible reason would be if your son was the subject of an Interpol yellow notice, which are issued for missing persons, especially for abducted children.

 

Let me put your mind at ease with that. For starters your child is not Lao, so it would be an uphill struggle for her to get Laos Interpol to take any action. On which note, to put everything into perspective, there are currently over 8,000 yellow notices worldwide. Out of that total, Laos has exactly zero children listed. So it's not looking especially good for her on that front either.

 

However, when all is said and done, I would go back to the UK and I would not bring your son back to SE Asia at all.

Take the advise in the short term you have nothing to worry about but having said that get on a plain with your British son and after you get to Britain tell you girlfriend to take a hick If she wants to see him she will have to come to Britain on her own for a visit with her own money

[bluebluewater]

With all the BS  from her and your gut instinct that you somehow might not get the boy back and even with very large odds that she can do no such thing I would say " Adios Muchachos " and be on my way with the boy back to the UK and sleep very well the rest of my days.

[Bannoi]

If you care for your son and don't want to lose him take the advise you have been given and get back to the UK ASAP.

 

Do not tell her you're even thinking about leaving early just go then break off all contact change phone numbers emails etc. you are both better off without her.

 

She had her chance and blew it next time take him somewhere in Europe for a holiday time to move on.

 

Best of luck to you both.

 

 

[jacko45k]

I doubt she could get the British Embassy to do anything.

Don't worry, but, if you have no other reason to be in Thailand, head back to the UK and rethink your flexibility and whether to give her access. There is a good chance she is using your son to simply get money out of you.

[elgordo38]

19 hours ago, DipStick said:

Personally I think you're laughing, all the odds are stacked against her and to compound her problems, it appears she is still in Laos.

as your reason for bringing your son to Thailand has gone pear shaped, if I were you I would get on a flight back to Blighty ASAP.

Well said oh wise one. Your avatar is miss named. 

[Grubster]

I doubt the new boy friend is very concerned anyway if he even exists. Laos sure as hell isn't going to do anything. I wish you well and am sorry your son has lost his mother. Not your fault man.

[williamgeorgeallen]

make sure you are collecting all correspondence from her. this may come in useful in the future. she is lao so she wont be able to do much in thailand. you flew in with your son without her present so you will be able to fly out with him and without her. 

you say her new man has money but that is doubtful and she is probably saying that to try to get you to pay more. you should never have any problems as long as you stay out of Lao. you may want to start working on getting sole custody even if it means paying a small fee to the mum. like i said though it is probably not necessary as long as you stay out of Lao. good luck, sounds like you dont need to worry too much but good to be prepared.

[Autonuaq]

first of all ...... Relax... when you relax you can think when you think you can anticipate and plan.  

 

Personally, I feel sorry for the situation you are in and i think the situation is sad for you and the child. More for the child because both parents as having a problem they are no able to solve easy.

 

You have to check a few things first

He lives with you, so you are the parent who takes care.

Ccorrect?

 

Mean he has to return to his home (=place the normally stays)

 

You agreed him to stay in Thailand with his mother, so no problem, he has to stay in Thailand

You have the return ticket for him so the time of stay is also known, if not the advise you to buy now. because this is evidence you need.

You have copy of his passport and all the registration needed to show his life is at the place you live.

 

you have probably a letter or email which tell about the mutual agreement of you and his mother to have his vacation in Thailand 

you have proof you send the money for the vacation for him to spent with his mother.

 

If he needs to leave the country he need to have his passport as well the written permission to the leave with his mother.

the Embassy and other threats. she can not hurt you with them. only make the case easier for you. Please let her call the Embassy. The best she can do for you, they will reply that she has to go to Court if she feel not comfortable with the agreement or arrangement. 

 

she can tell all she wants to tell and claim. You have the position and she has nothing (based on the info) . And of course it is frustrating.

 

Just tell her you want to meet her and discuss all. Arrange a nice place crowded public where the child also can play and be. Have some people you know that are in the area to support you and help to you. Then when meet demand the child come with you and she will let the police come, no problem. No problem because you are the parent the child has to go to and has it's daily life.

 

Play all friendly and be relax. You hold all the cards. do all in public places and where it is crowded to prevent you are running into a setup that a woman can claim things a man does. 

avoid places she can setup traps as well video you

avoid calling her many time at the time you agreed to call so she can sit there and with the police officer and show you celled many times ...you do because you agreed to call with her.

if speak of call make the remark that it is agreed to meet or do always smile and relax.

always take other people wth you that stay in the areas and can not stress out enough, stay and meet only in crowded public areas. Be traceable in the surveillance camaras, you never know why eand wehn this will safe you.

 

My wife though she could do all and took my children away, she has been has been prosecuted for international child abduction and the children were brought back.

 

Thailand has signed The Hague convention about international child abduction, LAOs did not signed. http://www.kinderontvoering.org/landen.html green means yes(=ja) sand the date it singed.

 

You also have reason to believe the child will possible taken out of your power and control. 

So can ask the police to check and help to signal him. The Police is you best friend in this als remind that. it was in my case one of the best helps I have had, beside a specialized group that does recovery.

 

You have no problem and your position is strong.

Good luck

 

 

 

[sanemax]

Under no circumstance let the Mother see the Child .

She may just take him to Laos , then you may never get him back.

Get on the first flight home 

[natway09]

The only way I see it could get nasty is if the mother &   your ex girlfriend started working in cahoots,

Get out of here, make no contact & live like they never existed

[Homburg]

The Mother has a "new" boyfriend.  Based on your experience of her lies it could equally be her husband (someone she married before she even met you), or indeed totally fictitious.  

 

It's highly doubtful that any boyfriend/husband/whatever wants the Child.

 

Far more likely the Mother & co want money and the Mother wants the Child so she can use him as a lever to get money out of you.  This is a game that could be a life-long source of income for her and you will never see your Son again - it would even be dangerous for you to visit him in Thailand or Laos in case she (or her "friend") should decide to cash in your Son's inheritance.  (Whether or not your Son would inherit anything is irrelevant, it is what she or her "friend" believes that is important).

 

In your place I would leave Thailand.  Immediately.  I would also cut all ties with the Mother.  

 

 

[thailand49]

She taking this attitude now is doing you a big favor.  I never take anything for granted but I laugh at times when people make threats.  In Thailand, everything something goes wrong or there is a disagreement you hear Mafia.  In your situation, BF knows someone in Embassy? 

You dig a bit and l wonder how in hell a person claims Mafia when they can't even buy tissue to wipe their ass?  You lady, know someone yet can't even travel to Bangkok without you providing the funds.

As noted by another poster,  get on a airplane now and don't ever come back with him.  He is better off not knowing her that might sound cruel. Lie, do whatever you need to do to for him to move on and have a better life and education. When he is older let him know the truth. If you feel bad etc.. she wants to see him send her a ticket to visit England?  The Child is nothing more than a ATM to her and BF.  She is the BF problem now!

Edited October 22, 2016 by thailand49

[lungnorm]

She cannot do anything. She is just trying you on for more money. Take your son and get on the first plane back to the UK and forget her. She does not deserve any consideration re visitation rights to see her son. Hard for the boy but he will most likely understand when he grows of age.

[sanemax]

Although, once the OP is back in the UK, it may be better for the Son if he stays in contact with his mother by ways of video calls 

[DipStick]

14 hours ago, Puyai said:

Thanks for the reply Black Cab. What you said about the embassy getting involved is exactly what I told her, I was just looking for reassurances from other people on the subject. Thanks again everyone.


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I do wonder sometimes about why people post asking for advice, then totally ignore the requested advice.

I was one of the first to respond, and I strongly recommended that you cut your ties and return to the UK ASAP, this was mirrored by a number of other "advisors"

from your above post, it seems you are ignoring advice and you are still communicating with her, in other words, digging any hole that you are in deeper.

 

facts, you bought her a ticket to travel to BKK to see her son, she didn't respond, you sent her money to help her gravel, she stole it ! Now it seems she has an influential boyfriend, who is advising here, I guess his name is Walt Disney.

 

then there is another poster who suggests you get back to uk immediately, I fully agree, however then he tells you to invite your ex girlfriend to the uk and you pay her ticket. He must be Walt Disney mark 2, as I am sure the cost of that ticket would be a massive windfall to her.but more importantly, why should you shell out more of your cash to be ripped off

 

get the both of you back to the uk NOW and don't even think about future conversations with a woman who is looking more and more like a money grabbing peasant.. I would suggest she is using your son as a pawn.. Sadly your son is better off and more secure with her out of both your lives.

[blackcab]

One thing to consider is child abduction. If the mother can have the child snatched, it would be absolutely no problem for her to get the child into Laos. She won't need any documents to do that.

 

If that happens, you won't see the child again unless she wants you to. As has been previously noted, Laos is not a signatory to the Hague Abduction Convention.

 

Do not let the mother have access to the child. Absolutely not in Laos, Thailand or SE Asia. 

[sanemax]

14 minutes ago, DipStick said:

I do wonder sometimes about why people post asking for advice, then totally ignore the requested advice.

 

 

 

   Because its only advice and its up to the person involved whether to take that advice or not .