Little Johnny

[ravip]

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.
She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these."
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.
I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. 
"It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time."
Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Quick! 
Spit'em out! 
They're a**holes!"

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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 
"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 
"JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. 
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" 
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. 
This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR A***!"
The Teacher fainted.

 

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So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it.
One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is."
She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties.
After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess.
"Blue."
"Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear.
"Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out.
When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear.
His dad exclaims: "That m f! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pu*** before the end of the day!"