Getting ex-Girlfriend to leave the apartment

[AlexRich]

2 minutes ago, DrDweeb said:

Oh dear, she has decided better of it and wants to see me, now. I have arranged a meeting later this evening. It might be interesting. I will choose a public place, hopefully she will be the charming, thoughtful and reasonable person I was in love with.

 

She will beg to let her and son stay until the end of February. This is no cost option for me of course, except she will probably piss off to get a job somewhere and call her mom down from up country to look after the boy.

 

Actually, I have no idea what her mind is thinking.

 

It might be that she has phoned the Police and they have told her there is nothing they can do? If that's the case then stick to your guns or you will never be free of her. Don't let her Mother in your house. This might be the time to move fast and cut off her options ... I would not allow her 3 months to stay and think through schemes that might hurt you. Carpe Diem ... seize the day and kill this dead. Good luck. 

 

[MikeyIdea]

DrDWeeb

 

First of all, she was just a nice girl with a hidden second life until not long ago. She has not become a dangerous criminal over night. She is threatening you, yes, but to go from threats to action that actually will hurt you is not going to happen. It didn't sound like that was in her nature before, what has happened has hardly changed that.

 

No need to over-react

 

How to tactically deal with the police

The separation and everything around it is of course civil law and the police is breaking the law if they interfere so you have absolutely nothing to worry from them. To stop providing support and a roof for the child is not even a civil offence as you have no legal obligations. If they do come then they will only be low level and you tactically clear all problems by saying: OK, let's go down to the police station, encourage the police to help the ex-girlfriend make a police report, which will be done by a higher level policeman with a law degree by the way. Trust me, it means nothing and they don't want to document that they have broken the law....

 

If your ex-girlfriend claims that you have hit her, then that is criminal law and you clear that the same way. Deny it and let's go down to the police station... Encourage the police to help the ex-girlfriend make a police report. The second step after that is for the police and the ex-girlfriend to formally push this to the district attorney and the higher level policeman will certainly not want to do that unless he clearly can see that she has been beaten up and probably not then either. The 3rd step is the district attorney and he will probably just close the case anyway. The 4th step is criminal court, it's extremely unlikely to get there. You have nothing to worry about

 

It sounds to me that she's just trying to keep her old privileges, probably because of the child

 

Mikey

 

[DrDweeb]

Thanks Mikey.

 

I mentioned in the OP that I left out most of the gory details. In the past 18 months she has become more volatile, this has included uncontrolled rage, smashing stuff, waving a knife at me and so on (think Thai TV drama but 10 times worse). I have dodged a flying tuna can that got crushed when it hit the wall rather than my head. You know, the sort of stuff a 3 year old does? The problem is that she is a grown adult, she can do a lot of damage in blind rage. Under normal circumstances, that is not her style, but then something goes "click" in her mind and all bets are off. She has no "impulse control".

 

I have recordings of her screaming at me for hours, and a pic of her holding a knife while I am baled up in a room. Trust me, I am in physical danger when she flies off the handle.

 

I assumed this was due to cognitive dissonance, "living a lie", without me knowing the truth. It is the reason I went looking for the truth. I found it. It is hard to successfully live a lie and be in relationship with another. She can clearly "lose it" again, because now she has actually physically and financially lost something she had for her and her son. There is nothing as dangerous as a woman who feels her child is threatened - same for all mammals.

 

So, I am not overreacting or over reading the situation.

 

The Italian guy and her both claim it ended physically 2 years ago. Who knows, I certainly don't and I have no way of verifying it one way or the other. Even if it were true, how would that help me?

 

I feel extremely bad about tossing them out. I love her, and the boy and I were until now terrific friends. There is no upside in any of this for me except I get to move on with my loss.

 

 

 

 

[MikeyIdea]

15 minutes ago, DrDweeb said:

Trust me, I am in physical danger when she flies off the handle.

 

..............

 

So, I am not overreacting or over reading the situation.

 

OK, then I even more think that your best defense is to encourage her to go to the police and make a police report. Let her use what she threatens to do and she has nothing left after that except the same empty threat

 

Mikey

[NickJ]

End the drama. Get her out permanently as fast as you can. Your last post is disturbing. I have been where you are. Even worse. Way worse.

Don't spend one second alone with her ever again. Never let her into your dwelling without supervision.

Remove her from the Blue Book. You can do this without her at the Amphur. 

These girls are great at turning the tables. Stop buying into it. It's over.

[MikeyIdea]

16 hours ago, MikeyIdea said:

The second step after that is for the police and the ex-girlfriend to formally push this to the district attorney and the higher level policeman will certainly not want to do that unless he clearly can see that she has been beaten up and probably not then either.

 

I forgot one thing for step 2 - the process for documenting wounds but let's bullet the whole process up so that it is more clear.

 

The process that must be followed for pushing criminal charges in Thailand is:

1) Police report - means nothing

2) Push to district attorney

Overview: The policeman processing the documentation has a law degree and has a working relationship with the district attorney. He is a second level policeman commonly called: "roiween". It is part of his job responsibilities to "filter out  things that can be solved with negotiations". This is what westerners incorrectly think the police do to get corruption money by the way... Boring when people who don't know don't even have enough sense to keep quiet. Or as the Thai saying is: People who don't know speak easily...

2a) A private person pushes criminal charges:

- If domestic violence: The police issue a form that the wounded person must take to a hospital, only a doctor with a special permission is allowed to examine

- The private person and the police proceed together process the documentation to push things to the district attorney. The policeman will not want to do this unless 1) negotiations have failed 2) there is clear evidence. He does actually not have the power to stop the process if the person insists - but he will correctly according to his job responsibilities try if he disagree

2b) The police pushes criminal charges: The police gather evidence and when he thinks that the district attorney will be satisfied then he process the paper work. If he can't find enough evidence then he will not push forward regardless of how "obvious" it is. Same as in the west.

3) District Attorney

-The district attorney considers evidence, if it is criminal intent or not and decides if he wants to push this forward or order the case closed without further action. He has one year to do this. A private person can force things to criminal court also if the district attorney orders the case closed

4) Criminal court: It's a long way to get there and penalties are normally lean, unless rape etc.

 

Most foreigners don't know this and many westerners post so much wrong information on ThaiVisa that it is laughable

 

Mikey
 

[AlexRich]

There is no crime? The girlfriend may have thought better of making a false charge to the Police. The OP's girlfriend doesn't have a legal route to pursue. The OP just needs to ease her out of his house as soon as he can and make sure that he's not the victim of a knife attack ... it only takes one jab in the right place to end a life, so something to be avoided. 

[MikeyIdea]

23 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

There is no crime? The girlfriend may have thought better of making a false charge to the Police. The OP's girlfriend doesn't have a legal route to pursue. The OP just needs to ease her out of his house as soon as he can and make sure that he's not the victim of a knife attack ... it only takes one jab in the right place to end a life, so something to be avoided. 

 

Ease her out is a good phrase to use, difficult to get that to work. I separated from my daughters mother 10 years ago but she is still in my house  She has categorically refused to leave for years. Our daughter is 12 now so she's old enough to see through the mess by now. She will perhaps not support me but at least she will not become my enemy if I force her mother out. Not much longer now. Patience is a virtue...

 

Problem the OP has is that he OP is not allowed to use force to get her out of course , nor is her allowed to throw her stuff out actually. It's not his stuff. She's breaking the law not taking them out, he's breaking the law throwing them out.

 

This could be a case where the police actually could help the OP at the end of the day. The police would want to negotiate the girl friend out rather than having to process criminal charges. Especially since the OP is happy to help with apartment and school costs in the beginning. But most westerners on ThaiVisa seem to think that is corruption and that it is much better to prosecute the mother... I suppose I am stupid, I don't understand the logic in that

 

Mikey

[AlexRich]

5 hours ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

Ease her out is a good phrase to use, difficult to get that to work. I separated from my daughters mother 10 years ago but she is still in my house  She has categorically refused to leave for years. Our daughter is 12 now so she's old enough to see through the mess by now. She will perhaps not support me but at least she will not become my enemy if I force her mother out. Not much longer now. Patience is a virtue...

 

Problem the OP has is that he OP is not allowed to use force to get her out of course , nor is her allowed to throw her stuff out actually. It's not his stuff. She's breaking the law not taking them out, he's breaking the law throwing them out.

 

This could be a case where the police actually could help the OP at the end of the day. The police would want to negotiate the girl friend out rather than having to process criminal charges. Especially since the OP is happy to help with apartment and school costs in the beginning. But most westerners on ThaiVisa seem to think that is corruption and that it is much better to prosecute the mother... I suppose I am stupid, I don't understand the logic in that

 

Mikey

 

Your situation is slightly different, but also difficult. The OP - in my view - needs to act swiftly and decisively to prevent a similar situation to your own. I'd move her stuff out on to the landing and change the locks, then tell her to come and collect - and give her some cash in hand to get through the month. I'd be surprised if the Police forced him to take her back in ... I doubt they would. Your situation is tougher as your daughter is your own flesh and blood. Good luck with that one!

 

[DrDweeb]

The latest news is that she has said she will move out and find a room. I have given her a deadline.

 

I relented and gave her a budget for the next 10 weeks, so niether she nor he boy will be in the street, nor will they starve.

 

Of course it remains to be seen what actually happens.

 

She did not suggest I pay for the boy's schooling going forward, something I have previously offered to do. I guess she has other plans that don't include him or his education.

 

She seems to have gone quiet and did not respond to SMSs today. Perhaps she did not like the tone of the email wherein I made her the offer and put the deadline in place?

 

I need to go get some stuff tomorrow, I'll see how the packing is progressing then.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

and my partner wasn't, isn't nor ever likely to be one - but the future is hard to predict and desperate situations provoke desperate actions.
 

How do you know? You don't. You were already mega tricked once. Now you are being manipulated again with some ridiculous and non justified financial obligation towards her.

You are correct in saying that most women are not prostitutes in Thailand. However, you should also realize that most women also have a job and don't rely on falang for handouts.

Your life and up to you what you do.

[greenchair]

I don't understand why you can't just wait til she goes out and change the locks. 

Then leave town for a few weeks. 

I think this is going to drag on for years. years that you are going to waste that could be spent building a relationship with someone that doesn't abuse you. You can knick it in the bud now, or wait many years of pain and sorrow and the inevitable end. 

You really need to distance yourself from her immediately. 

[SaintLouisBlues]

Lesson #1 from this saga - never buy an apartment and live in it in Thailand. Always be prepared to move on - literally

[manarak]

28 minutes ago, SaintLouisBlues said:

Lesson #1 from this saga - never buy an apartment and live in it in Thailand. Always be prepared to move on - literally

 

with lessons like that, you won't ever do anything, anywhere.

 

lesson #1 is to grow some balls.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

 
with lessons like that, you won't ever do anything, anywhere.
 
lesson #1 is to grow some balls.

He said in Thailand.

[manarak]

19 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

He said in Thailand.

 

even in Thailand, one needs balls.

[onlycw]

I just rented a room for myself @ 1,500 THB with a water meter. The landlydy first sayd "no SD" and then changed her mind to ask for "1,000 THB". 

 

Don't push them out into homelessness. The mental stress would be cruel and chances are that she will go wild accusing you of something or making silly decisions like staying at a hotel.

 

What's her income?

 

I'd rent a convenient place near her work place and phase out paying in a few months' time. 

[DrDweeb]

Just a final update. A lot has happened.

 

1. She is out of the apartment, locks changed etc.
2. She took her boy with her back to the village. She won't bring him back.
3. Their stuff (all of it) is still in my apartment. I'll pack it this week and ship it off.

 

Close to 10 years of my life and a great deal of emotional effort down the drain.

 

We have had a few long conversations. We even had great sex a couple of times (we have always been physically compatible and still are). She still loves me I think, but love is not enough for her - not even close. In a calm rational moments we talked as we haven't done for quite some time. 

 

It now seems that I could have solved all her/our problems by marrying her 5 years ago (!) and giving her THB 5m and a house or two - we had this discussion over dinner last week - hearing someone calmly, rationally and seriously say this, never having worried or mentioned this before is depressing.

 

I had asked her what I needed to do to have the girl I loved back, rather than the volatile evil girl of late. Everything will be OK again if I marry her now and buy houses and give her lots of money. These things were never important to her before, they have apparently become the only thing important. Her son's future is far down on the list again. She does recognise how despicable she has been towards me though, and has apologised(!). This is her excuse and how I might fix things (you can't make this stuff up). She is quite serious.

 

I need to remind myself that it was not me <deleted> around, being dishonest and behaving homicidally. Because what is to stop her getting homicidal again next time her narcissism needs feeding and does not get instant gratification? Could I ever expect her to be honest?

 

I haven't heard much from the Italian since I wrote him what I thought of him. I guess he is still loitering in the background, or his friends waiting for their chance.

 

Anyway, the lad will be reassigned to the nearest village school and will not finish at the private school in Bangkok. A year of hard work for which he will have nothing to show. I truly despise her action of doing this to him - he deserves a better parent. It is a no cost option for her to allow him this final opportunity - but her selfishness knows few bounds.

 

I will no longer have to support her, her son or family. But I never really minded that much in the first place, and after a couple of million THB are down the rat hole, one gets used to the pain and manage it. There are limits of course, but that is not something Thai women understand apparently.
 

In all this, not once has she asked me what I want. She thinks all I want is sex. Sex is nice, but it is hardly a reason to spend a decade with someone. These days, a smile from her heart and caring in her voice would keep me going for weeks. But in reality, I want someone who has our and my interests at heart, rather than hers and everyone else's in her extended family. There was a time when she loved me and did in fact have my and our best interests at heart. Now there is only selfish narcissism left in the shell of a beautiful woman. The girl whom I love, and who likely still loves me is buried so deep that she will never be seen by me again.

 

They say it takes 8 seconds to fall in love. We had our 8 seconds and it lasted almost a decade before Thai culture won.

 

The advertising campaign has been going on for a while (you know where to look). Good fishing.

 

Men will now line up to take a dip, she will survive as so many other Thai women do, or maybe she will be a rice farmer again - it did not need to be so - there were better options for everyone on the table. Maybe some man who bonks her will love her? I pity him, but I pity her more for what she will need to do to find him. She is a 30+ yo woman in a hurry to find someone with enough money to afford her and willingness to tolerate her infantile behaviour. Thailand (and Asia) is literally full of good looking women with accidental children and needy families - and she doesn't have "life as a bar girl" to fall back on - difficult odds I think.

 

Case closed (for now)

Merry Christmas all

My worst Christmas ever

[robertthebruce]

24 minutes ago, DrDweeb said:

Just a final update. A lot has happened.

 

1. She is out of the apartment, locks changed etc.
2. She took her boy with her back to the village. She won't bring him back.
3. Their stuff (all of it) is still in my apartment. I'll pack it this week and ship it off.

 

Close to 10 years of my life and a great deal of emotional effort down the drain.

 

We have had a few long conversations. We even had great sex a couple of times (we have always been physically compatible and still are). She still loves me I think, but love is not enough for her - not even close. In a calm rational moments we talked as we haven't done for quite some time. 

 

It now seems that I could have solved all her/our problems by marrying her 5 years ago (!) and giving her THB 5m and a house or two - we had this discussion over dinner last week - hearing someone calmly, rationally and seriously say this, never having worried or mentioned this before is depressing.

 

I had asked her what I needed to do to have the girl I loved back, rather than the volatile evil girl of late. Everything will be OK again if I marry her now and buy houses and give her lots of money. These things were never important to her before, they have apparently become the only thing important. Her son's future is far down on the list again. She does recognise how despicable she has been towards me though, and has apologised(!). This is her excuse and how I might fix things (you can't make this stuff up). She is quite serious.

 

I need to remind myself that it was not me <deleted> around, being dishonest and behaving homicidally. Because what is to stop her getting homicidal again next time her narcissism needs feeding and does not get instant gratification? Could I ever expect her to be honest?

 

I haven't heard much from the Italian since I wrote him what I thought of him. I guess he is still loitering in the background, or his friends waiting for their chance.

 

Anyway, the lad will be reassigned to the nearest village school and will not finish at the private school in Bangkok. A year of hard work for which he will have nothing to show. I truly despise her action of doing this to him - he deserves a better parent. It is a no cost option for her to allow him this final opportunity - but her selfishness knows few bounds.

 

I will no longer have to support her, her son or family. But I never really minded that much in the first place, and after a couple of million THB are down the rat hole, one gets used to the pain and manage it. There are limits of course, but that is not something Thai women understand apparently.
 

In all this, not once has she asked me what I want. She thinks all I want is sex. Sex is nice, but it is hardly a reason to spend a decade with someone. These days, a smile from her heart and caring in her voice would keep me going for weeks. But in reality, I want someone who has our and my interests at heart, rather than hers and everyone else's in her extended family. There was a time when she loved me and did in fact have my and our best interests at heart. Now there is only selfish narcissism left in the shell of a beautiful woman. The girl whom I love, and who likely still loves me is buried so deep that she will never be seen by me again.

 

They say it takes 8 seconds to fall in love. We had our 8 seconds and it lasted almost a decade before Thai culture won.

 

The advertising campaign has been going on for a while (you know where to look). Good fishing.

 

Men will now line up to take a dip, she will survive as so many other Thai women do, or maybe she will be a rice farmer again - it did not need to be so - there were better options for everyone on the table. Maybe some man who bonks her will love her? I pity him, but I pity her more for what she will need to do to find him. She is a 30+ yo woman in a hurry to find someone with enough money to afford her and willingness to tolerate her infantile behaviour. Thailand (and Asia) is literally full of good looking women with accidental children and needy families - and she doesn't have "life as a bar girl" to fall back on - difficult odds I think.

 

Case closed (for now)

Merry Christmas all

My worst Christmas ever

 

 

Time is a healer..., you will get over her, and for sure meet someone else...

 

all the the best for 2017....

[samsensam]

 

thanks for the update and glad to hear all has ended peacefully at least. i do feel for the son.

 

it's good you have managed to be strong throughout it all and not got dragged back in as happened to a friend of mine when all that happened was it delayed the inevitable and caused more pain and heartache.

 

It now seems that I could have solved all her/our problems by marrying her 5 years ago (!) and giving her THB 5m and a house or two

 

as i'm sure you're aware this has nothing to do with reality but is an attempt by her to deflect responsibility for the situation to you. it's your fault because you didnt cough up enough money - despite it sounding like you were providing more than adequate support.  this approach also helps her save face.

 

i'm sure she'll reel someone else in and it wont be pretty. i generally steer well clear of local ladies who have previously dated foreigners and experience far fewer problems than many people living here. it would be my number one thai dating tip.

 

good luck for the future.

[AlexRich]

28 minutes ago, DrDweeb said:

Just a final update. A lot has happened.

 

1. She is out of the apartment, locks changed etc.
2. She took her boy with her back to the village. She won't bring him back.
3. Their stuff (all of it) is still in my apartment. I'll pack it this week and ship it off.

 

Close to 10 years of my life and a great deal of emotional effort down the drain.

 

We have had a few long conversations. We even had great sex a couple of times (we have always been physically compatible and still are). She still loves me I think, but love is not enough for her - not even close. In a calm rational moments we talked as we haven't done for quite some time. 

 

It now seems that I could have solved all her/our problems by marrying her 5 years ago (!) and giving her THB 5m and a house or two - we had this discussion over dinner last week - hearing someone calmly, rationally and seriously say this, never having worried or mentioned this before is depressing.

 

I had asked her what I needed to do to have the girl I loved back, rather than the volatile evil girl of late. Everything will be OK again if I marry her now and buy houses and give her lots of money. These things were never important to her before, they have apparently become the only thing important. Her son's future is far down on the list again. She does recognise how despicable she has been towards me though, and has apologised(!). This is her excuse and how I might fix things (you can't make this stuff up). She is quite serious.

 

I need to remind myself that it was not me <deleted> around, being dishonest and behaving homicidally. Because what is to stop her getting homicidal again next time her narcissism needs feeding and does not get instant gratification? Could I ever expect her to be honest?

 

I haven't heard much from the Italian since I wrote him what I thought of him. I guess he is still loitering in the background, or his friends waiting for their chance.

 

Anyway, the lad will be reassigned to the nearest village school and will not finish at the private school in Bangkok. A year of hard work for which he will have nothing to show. I truly despise her action of doing this to him - he deserves a better parent. It is a no cost option for her to allow him this final opportunity - but her selfishness knows few bounds.

 

I will no longer have to support her, her son or family. But I never really minded that much in the first place, and after a couple of million THB are down the rat hole, one gets used to the pain and manage it. There are limits of course, but that is not something Thai women understand apparently.
 

In all this, not once has she asked me what I want. She thinks all I want is sex. Sex is nice, but it is hardly a reason to spend a decade with someone. These days, a smile from her heart and caring in her voice would keep me going for weeks. But in reality, I want someone who has our and my interests at heart, rather than hers and everyone else's in her extended family. There was a time when she loved me and did in fact have my and our best interests at heart. Now there is only selfish narcissism left in the shell of a beautiful woman. The girl whom I love, and who likely still loves me is buried so deep that she will never be seen by me again.

 

They say it takes 8 seconds to fall in love. We had our 8 seconds and it lasted almost a decade before Thai culture won.

 

The advertising campaign has been going on for a while (you know where to look). Good fishing.

 

Men will now line up to take a dip, she will survive as so many other Thai women do, or maybe she will be a rice farmer again - it did not need to be so - there were better options for everyone on the table. Maybe some man who bonks her will love her? I pity him, but I pity her more for what she will need to do to find him. She is a 30+ yo woman in a hurry to find someone with enough money to afford her and willingness to tolerate her infantile behaviour. Thailand (and Asia) is literally full of good looking women with accidental children and needy families - and she doesn't have "life as a bar girl" to fall back on - difficult odds I think.

 

Case closed (for now)

Merry Christmas all

My worst Christmas ever

 

Merry Christmas, glad you finally sorted things out. Look forward to 2017 with renewed optimism and put her firmly in the past ... and don't, under any circumstances, reward her with money. Forget 'love', an illusory and ephemeral state of madness. Focus on being happy with people who like you whatever your financial status. And good luck.   

 

 

[williamgeorgeallen]

20 hours ago, DrDweeb said:

Just a final update. A lot has happened.

 

1. She is out of the apartment, locks changed etc.
2. She took her boy with her back to the village. She won't bring him back.
3. Their stuff (all of it) is still in my apartment. I'll pack it this week and ship it off.

 

Close to 10 years of my life and a great deal of emotional effort down the drain.

 

We have had a few long conversations. We even had great sex a couple of times (we have always been physically compatible and still are). She still loves me I think, but love is not enough for her - not even close. In a calm rational moments we talked as we haven't done for quite some time. 

 

It now seems that I could have solved all her/our problems by marrying her 5 years ago (!) and giving her THB 5m and a house or two - we had this discussion over dinner last week - hearing someone calmly, rationally and seriously say this, never having worried or mentioned this before is depressing.

 

I had asked her what I needed to do to have the girl I loved back, rather than the volatile evil girl of late. Everything will be OK again if I marry her now and buy houses and give her lots of money. These things were never important to her before, they have apparently become the only thing important. Her son's future is far down on the list again. She does recognise how despicable she has been towards me though, and has apologised(!). This is her excuse and how I might fix things (you can't make this stuff up). She is quite serious.

 

I need to remind myself that it was not me <deleted> around, being dishonest and behaving homicidally. Because what is to stop her getting homicidal again next time her narcissism needs feeding and does not get instant gratification? Could I ever expect her to be honest?

 

I haven't heard much from the Italian since I wrote him what I thought of him. I guess he is still loitering in the background, or his friends waiting for their chance.

 

Anyway, the lad will be reassigned to the nearest village school and will not finish at the private school in Bangkok. A year of hard work for which he will have nothing to show. I truly despise her action of doing this to him - he deserves a better parent. It is a no cost option for her to allow him this final opportunity - but her selfishness knows few bounds.

 

I will no longer have to support her, her son or family. But I never really minded that much in the first place, and after a couple of million THB are down the rat hole, one gets used to the pain and manage it. There are limits of course, but that is not something Thai women understand apparently.
 

In all this, not once has she asked me what I want. She thinks all I want is sex. Sex is nice, but it is hardly a reason to spend a decade with someone. These days, a smile from her heart and caring in her voice would keep me going for weeks. But in reality, I want someone who has our and my interests at heart, rather than hers and everyone else's in her extended family. There was a time when she loved me and did in fact have my and our best interests at heart. Now there is only selfish narcissism left in the shell of a beautiful woman. The girl whom I love, and who likely still loves me is buried so deep that she will never be seen by me again.

 

They say it takes 8 seconds to fall in love. We had our 8 seconds and it lasted almost a decade before Thai culture won.

 

The advertising campaign has been going on for a while (you know where to look). Good fishing.

 

Men will now line up to take a dip, she will survive as so many other Thai women do, or maybe she will be a rice farmer again - it did not need to be so - there were better options for everyone on the table. Maybe some man who bonks her will love her? I pity him, but I pity her more for what she will need to do to find him. She is a 30+ yo woman in a hurry to find someone with enough money to afford her and willingness to tolerate her infantile behaviour. Thailand (and Asia) is literally full of good looking women with accidental children and needy families - and she doesn't have "life as a bar girl" to fall back on - difficult odds I think.

 

Case closed (for now)

Merry Christmas all

My worst Christmas ever

great you let us know what has happened. have heard this story many times. i would bet she will be back in touch in time saying she made a mistake and wants you back. in fact leaving her stuff was probably a way to keep it going. stand strong and enjoy your single life while you have it. woman are the spice of life but too much spice can cause heart burn.

[greenchair]

Chin up mate. One door closes etc.... merry Christmas. 

Good luck 

[onthesoi]

23 hours ago, DrDweeb said:

The girl whom I love, and who likely still loves me is buried so deep that she will never be seen by me again.

 

wow..!

[DrDweeb]

7 hours ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

great you let us know what has happened. have heard this story many times. i would bet she will be back in touch in time saying she made a mistake and wants you back. in fact leaving her stuff was probably a way to keep it going. stand strong and enjoy your single life while you have it. woman are the spice of life but too much spice can cause heart burn.

I was back in Europe for Christmas and they were at the village. I will be in Bangkok for New Years, and their lives will be packed in boxes for transport before school starts on 5/1 (not that I expect their return at this point).

 

Her stuff was left there because I physically removed her and let her back a few hours later to take some essentials. She did not seem to grasp the seriousness of it all, even at the end.

 

If she turns up crying, which I severely doubt at this point, I don't know what I'll do. Love is a bitch, and I am getting too old to start this circus again . I would could easily restart all this should she show some flexibility, but she is neither getting a wedding ring any time soon (impossible for technical wealth reasons) and certainly not houses for her family - and that is where it ends.

 

I was never one for random women or an endless string of one-night stands. Sex always seemed meaningless and unfulfilling with someone for whom I had no feelings. It's not like I can't have sex with random women to whom I am attracted, it just seems pointless - no matter how good they might look.

 

I was single for 7 years before I met her, life was better after I did - single life is not what is cracked up to be.

[DrDweeb]

On 26/12/2016 at 5:43 PM, AlexRich said:

 

Merry Christmas, glad you finally sorted things out. Look forward to 2017 with renewed optimism and put her firmly in the past ... and don't, under any circumstances, reward her with money. Forget 'love', an illusory and ephemeral state of madness. Focus on being happy with people who like you whatever your financial status. And good luck.   

 

 

In passing, my girlfriend had no clue of my financial status for the first several years we knew each other. We were in love and I had enough. I bailed out her family for several hundred thousand THB to free her of those "family obligations", so we could be us, without the family pounding us for money constantly. Didn't work as it turned out :(.

 

Once she started traveling to Europe with me it became more obvious. I think the Italian guy stuck the idea that I am filthy rich (well off, but not filthy rich) into her head and that warped her a bit, plus whatever other bullshit he spouted to get her body.

[DrDweeb]

It just occurred to me, what do you think would be the effect if I sent her the link to this thread?

[AlexRich]

1 hour ago, DrDweeb said:

It just occurred to me, what do you think would be the effect if I sent her the link to this thread?

 

I don't think it would matter to her at all, I'm afraid. At least you can look forward to 2017 with optimism having put the experience behind you. All the best.

[MikeyIdea]

On ‎12‎/‎26‎/‎2016 at 11:08 PM, DrDweeb said:

The girl whom I love, and who likely still loves me is buried so deep that she will never be seen by me again.

 

It takes time to get over real love. It took me a full year of absolute hell to get over when the love of my life divorced me in 2000, I can still easily get tears in my eyes when I think about it 16 years later, *()@&mn, and it happened again. It took my mother 2 years to "get back to decently normal" as she said when her long time partner died, she was 80 when she said it 

 

Yes, love hurts but 1) No matter how horrible it feels when it is fresh, it does actually get better with time 2) It's worth it, how shallow wouldn't life be without love. I feel sorry for those who don't open their hearts for love

 

I would live my life again and I wouldn't change almost anything, certainly not the love, that's the most precious part

 

Mikey

[Rhys]

all the best in 2017, be strong, find it yourself, move on...