Disrespect me or not ?

[IAMHERE]

I'm sure she didn't go out of her way to disrespect you. You have a good time with her then keep her. If you don't enjoy the time you spend with her get another. Keep it simple in Siam; KISIM.

I don't doubt she was flirting with him but he doesn't have the money for her, so enjoy and don't over complicate vacation sex.

[Stevemercer]

It is not disrespectful to flirt with others while with your partner, if done in a playful and honest way. But it is disrespectful if your girlfriend is dissing you, or putting you down, while she is flirting with another. That means they are both laughing at you and do not respect you. If this is the case then move on.

 

Part of the deal in having a Thai wife/girlfriend (whether part-time or full-time) is that she must protect your face/back, or defend your honour/integrity, when dealing with others. It doesn't matter whether she loves you or not, that is part of her job in being with you and taking your money. If she won't do this, then she is not holding up her end of the transaction.

[Ryder88]

IMO Regardless of your ''relationship'' if a woman is in your company YOU should be respected by her and any slimeball that is speaking to her for whatever reason.  From your post it seems you were disrespected by her and that dirt bag driver.

Dump her or at any given  moment run the risk of being laughed at.

[Thaiwrath]

12 minutes ago, Ryder88 said:

IMO Regardless of your ''relationship'' if a woman is in your company YOU should be respected by her and any slimeball that is speaking to her for whatever reason.  From your post it seems you were disrespected by her and that dirt bag driver.

Dump her or at any given  moment run the risk of being laughed at.

 

Respect is earned, not given automatically.

[slapout]

Sometimes we read more into something said in a second language than was intended by the person speaking. I find this to true of the Thai language for  me and I think it is the same for Thai and a foreign language, to them.

 

Even after 25 years, I have to ask for a translation to English from my wife and many times she says she cannot. The facial expressions are usually a normal give away, that and do they make eye contact when they answer your inquiry.

[GarryP]

4 hours ago, Acharn said:

Just as a guess, what you write as "idok" I would write as "ee dawk," which is shorthand for "ee dawk thawng," "golden flower" which means "whore," but can be used playfully between friends (I think). From what you say she said, what you write as "kidok" might have been what I would write as "kee yoke". "Yoke" here (meant to rhyme with "joke") is a round in a boxing match, or sexual intercourse one time. "Kee" is "how many." "Ee" is an honorific from the old days which was how you (a free person) addressed a female slave and is complicated. In many circumstances it would be insulting, but might be used affectionately between friends. Trying to use Latin letters to transcribe Thai words is fraught, because there are no standard ways to show phonetics. There is a system approved decades ago by the Council of Pundits, but nobody knows it or uses it.

I think a more likely one is "kee dork", as in how many more hits or punches. Her nail being broken on the bus is the first "hit". Probably, asking her how many more "hits" she wanted.

[pumpjack]

18 minutes ago, Thaiwrath said:

 

Respect is earned, not given automatically.

 

respect is not  " earned "   respect should be given to everyone no matter.      the fact that this filthy little slimeball done it in front of my face is whats annoying me.       i never would imagine to disrespect any man like this in front of his partner/ gf.       shows you just how much some of these thais hate us with this type of behaviour.     

 

 

[soc]

Dump her,

Plenty more around.

Learn the language.

Keep cool.

Have fun.

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, Docno said:

Interesting to see people here trying to impose their definition of a normal/acceptable relationship on someone. These two have found a modus vivendi that was working for them... it may not be your cup of tea. That doesn't mean it's wrong.

 

But I get what the OP is saying. I've seen both men and women in fairly casual relationships become angry at their partner for flirting with others in their presence. And they do see it as an issue of respect just like the OP. I think that the understanding these couples have is that when they are together, they are really 'together'. Respect is about acting in a way that demonstrates you consider the other person to have the same value/worth as yourself. Flirting with someone else in your presence does not demonstrate this... it does the opposite.

 

The mature way for the OP to handle this (the first resort) is to talk it out with the other person and perhaps make the 'shared understanding' of the relationship more explicit so both of you have the same expectations. The less mature way (second resort) is to do the same thing to her so she better understands how you felt. Though that one might blow up in your face, so tread carefully...  

 

" Respect is about acting in a way that demonstrates you consider the other person to have the same value/worth as yourself. Flirting with someone else in your presence does not demonstrate this... it does the opposite. "

 

It may even mean one actually cares about the others feelings. Apparently, she does not want to get that involved. I'd suggest if you just want to enjoy her occasionally; you not get so involved. Too bad, you don't speak enough Thai to have told the driver you'd be glad to wait while they have a short time as long as he pays you a bar fine. 

[Gringogazzer]

"Kidok" is to pay back with interest. So he was jokingly referring to when he broke her nail, he took a little bit of her he'd have to pay back a little more. When flirting could be sexual.
With a little prying everyone will know exactly who you are whilst in Thailand. So I'd forget about face, you won't have any.
Up to you.

[pumpjack]

22 minutes ago, soc said:

Dump her,

Plenty more around.

Learn the language.

Keep cool.

Have fun.

 

thanks mate i have . i realise she should not have  even talked to the piece of sh**  after what he said,    i now understand what the word gee ok means .    if a woman came onto me infront of my gf / partner and insulted her such as this i would certainly put her in her place.

 

to the negitive retards,  why so quick to jump in and call her a bar girl,  she doesnt work in a bar ,   she is not a freelancer either.  

[elgenon]

If you enjoy being w her, be with her. Don't worry about the rest. Not worth it.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

After reading your post,i dont think you have any right to criticize her behaviour.If she is just a <deleted> buddy who you see when you are here,what she does and what she says to others is really none of your business.You have made no commitment to her,and you have said that no marriag is on the cards.

Maybe she did it to make you a teensy bit jealous.

Get over your self,let the girl go and bang as many bus drivers as she wants,she clearly is doing that anyway,when you arent around,I think its a kick in the kishka's where your pride is concerned.

Grow up man,and smell the 3rd world coffee.

[seajae]

mate, you are knocking around with a female that will spread her legs for anyone from what you have said yet you are concerned she has caused you to lose face, come on, how stupid can people be. If all you want is someone to get your rocks off  just go to a pro as thats all this one sounds like, would probably work out a lot cheaper as well

[YeahSiam]

1 hour ago, lungnorm said:

You seemed to have hooked up to a no good type. Hooker or not she is acting like she is. Get rid of her like she is not the only loose woman in Thailand. Plenty more to pick from.

 

BS

I've had relationships like the OP's describing and one or two of the giks have flirted with other guys in my presence but, frankly, I've been doing my own flirting with another woman a few feet away.

It's no biggie and, typically, we used to have a laugh about it afterwards in the cab home.

 

Women who partake in these types of relationships appreciate a man who has a mature attitude; eg not getting clingy or possessive but still showing her that he gives a shit.

This mature approach to open relationships has had its rewards on several occasions with my giks inviting women/girls I've been flirting with back to my condo after the club/bar has shut for an "after-party"

[rjwill01]

When you start to worry about these things in a woman, it's time to move on. 

[wildewillie89]

1 hour ago, pumpjack said:

 

respect is not  " earned "   respect should be given to everyone no matter.      the fact that this filthy little slimeball done it in front of my face is whats annoying me.       i never would imagine to disrespect any man like this in front of his partner/ gf.       shows you just how much some of these thais hate us with this type of behaviour.     

 

 

 

I don't think it has anything to do with what country someone is from. I am sure if a girl was openly flirting with a guy in any country the single guy would flirt back to her whether her bf was there or not. Isn't it an issue with the 'relationship/arrangement' the two of you have? Not what the guy did as such. If she doesn't care enough about you to openly flirt with another guy then you're just there to be used and abused for whatever reason or needs she has. Doesn't have to be a 'bar girl', you get your crazy girls who will just sleep in the hope of a relationship or to brag to their friends they know a 'farang'. 

 

Why should respect be given to everyone? She probably told the guy you're just there, as all Thai are aware of the old 'holiday gf'. So in his eyes straight away the respect you think is a given is taken away, as you just come to his country and use his people. Generally speaking, Thai guys get along with 'farang' pretty good. If it is in a club context they befriend you as they know the girls will flock there...outside that context, like girls, they just want to experience meeting foreign people without sex attached to it. If they do have a problem, then you probably should look at either the girl or yourself and situation, rather than the guy. Stop being a big sook. You don't own the girl...or did you for the hour? lol

Edited December 15, 2016 by wildewillie89

[georgemandm]

6 hours ago, daveAustin said:

She sounds like a keeper.

Now that did make me laugh you made my day thanks .

5555555555555555555

[lungnorm]

16 hours ago, YeahSiam said:

 

BS

I've had relationships like the OP's describing and one or two of the giks have flirted with other guys in my presence but, frankly, I've been doing my own flirting with another woman a few feet away.

It's no biggie and, typically, we used to have a laugh about it afterwards in the cab home.

 

Women who partake in these types of relationships appreciate a man who has a mature attitude; eg not getting clingy or possessive but still showing her that he gives a shit.

This mature approach to open relationships has had its rewards on several occasions with my giks inviting women/girls I've been flirting with back to my condo after the club/bar has shut for an "after-party"

Dunno about you but I do not have any respect for women who partake in threesomes. Also how do you know its harmless if you cannot understand what they are talking about?

[Deepinthailand]

You know she has boyfriends whilst your not here so what is the problem here? if you don't want her to have other liaisons then man up tell her buy her out of the bar and look after her. If you only want a leg over when you appear then be prepared for other men to talk to her.

However I seriously doubt if she is a bar girl that she would let a thai bus driver in not enough money there.

[YeahSiam]

1 minute ago, lungnorm said:

Dunno about you but I do not have any respect for women who partake in threesomes. Also how do you know its harmless if you cannot understand what they are talking about?

 

So you're perpetuating the time-honoured double standard whereby a man receives a slap on the back for his "prowess" and a woman who enjoys having multiple partners is maligned and ostracised?

That attitude hails from the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth and is rooted in male insecurity.

Maybe we should go back to the days when they didn't have the vote, eh?

 

[georgemandm]

2 hours ago, Stevemercer said:

It is not disrespectful to flirt with others while with your partner, if done in a playful and honest way. But it is disrespectful if your girlfriend is dissing you, or putting you down, while she is flirting with another. That means they are both laughing at you and do not respect you. If this is the case then move on.

 

Part of the deal in having a Thai wife/girlfriend (whether part-time or full-time) is that she must protect your face/back, or defend your honour/integrity, when dealing with others. It doesn't matter whether she loves you or not, that is part of her job in being with you and taking your money. If she won't do this, then she is not holding up her end of the transaction.

I would say you know what your talking about I agree with you 100% .

If someone try's to disrespect me , my thai partner would give it to them with both   Barrels .

[wildewillie89]

5 minutes ago, YeahSiam said:

 

So you're perpetuating the time-honoured double standard whereby a man receives a slap on the back for his "prowess" and a woman who enjoys having multiple partners is maligned and ostracised?

That attitude hails from the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth and is rooted in male insecurity.

Maybe we should go back to the days when they didn't have the vote, eh?

 

 

Does a man receive a slap on the back for having a threesome with another man? I don't think so. If anything this context is actually giving more power to women. As many see it as 'gay' if guys did it, but it is more socially acceptable if girls do it. Wasn't that the context, two same sex (i.e. man would have to choose another man) and one opposing sex?

Edited December 15, 2016 by wildewillie89

[evadgib]

7 hours ago, kannot said:

i tire  of  words  like "respect" totally misused  in  today's  world

Ending with a K and no T would lesson the blow :)

 

Troll thread BTW.

Edited December 15, 2016 by evadgib

[scorecard]

3 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

Lol. hilarious so was the driver constantly looking at you or vice versa?

 

 

 

Maybe the driver fancies you?

[georgemandm]

1 hour ago, pumpjack said:

 

thanks mate i have . i realise she should not have  even talked to the piece of sh**  after what he said,    i now understand what the word gee ok means .    if a woman came onto me infront of my gf / partner and insulted her such as this i would certainly put her in her place.

 

to the negitive retards,  why so quick to jump in and call her a bar girl,  she doesnt work in a bar ,   she is not a freelancer either.  

Ok good , then what is she ? . 

Were did you meet her and what work dose she do ?. 

[YeahSiam]

1 minute ago, wildewillie89 said:

 

Does a man receive a slap on the back for having a threesome with another man? I don't think so. If anything this context is actually giving more power to women. As many see it as 'gay' if guys did it, but it is more socially acceptable if girls do it. Wasn't that the context, two same sex and one opposing sex?

 

I suppose it would depend on whether or not those doing the back-slapping have a problem with bisexuality.

How is it giving more "power to women"?

What an old-fashioned, distinctly parochial attitude.

Live and let live!

[free123]

7 hours ago, pgrahmm said:

She's a girl about town....You're an intermittent good time....He probably sees her & knows more about her life than you do......

 

this is really true thais seeing my ex knew immediately she just hang out w. me to clear out big in the future....once the show was over they was surprised that i did not pay her....and they knowing me was surprised that i turned up with a money lady...but me beeing too naiv to work it out....

[wildewillie89]

Just now, YeahSiam said:

 

I suppose it would depend on whether or not those doing the back-slapping have a problem with bisexuality.

How is it giving more "power to women"?

What an old-fashioned, distinctly parochial attitude.

Live and let live!

 

The fact that they are able to do it means that they have moved past being second class citizens, i.e. gained power in their movements, thus gaining more freedom...wasn't so long ago women couldnt even walk outside without having someone walk by their side. Being able to sleep with another woman/man is a big step. I think history shows it has been a 'power' struggle, due to violent protests to get equal rights. Don't get all hissy  because you take words so literally to fit your own ideologies. Most things that involve violent protests, domination or removal of rights are 'power' based societal issues. 

[YeahSiam]

1 minute ago, wildewillie89 said:

 

...wasn't so long ago women couldnt even walk outside without having someone walk by their side. Being able to sleep with another woman/man is a big step. I think history shows it has been a 'power' struggle, due to violent protests to get equal rights. Don't get all hissy  because you take words so literally to fit your own ideologies. Most things that involve violent protests, domination or removal of rights are 'power' based societal issues. 

 

I don't remember women not being able to walk outside alone and I'm no spring chicken.

You said

Quote

If anything this context is actually giving more power to women

Your comment made it sound as if a woman partaking in sexual activity with more than one partner somehow had negative connotations.

As if "they have enough power already"

If you don't want to be taken literally, choose your wording more carefully.