Do you discipline your own children?

[ThaiWai]

1 hour ago, Odysseus123 said:

What you are describing is a phenomenon well known to foreigners (including me) around here.At least 5 others have talked to me about the nightmare world of trying to assist Isaan teenagers generally from a previous Thai marriage.The results of this assistance appears to be chronic lying,laziness,truanting,destruction of property,theft and at times,threats to assault.They then generally go on to full time careers in the idleness industry.

 

It appears to me that no-one has ever said no to them and by the age of 14-15 it is far,far to late.So good for you and that you made the decision to send him back.This peculiarly dysfunctional child rearing system seems to be the major cause of the Thai/foreigner marital breakdowns around here and it is quite sad because all of the men involved were interested and prepared to put the time and money into their education and give them opportunities that they would not otherwise have had.

 

Other folks may have had a more positive experience and good for them if they have...

Yeah we tried with him but it's like living with an animal bent on destroying everything.  Update is we found a live in school in Surat that looks pretty good and affordable. I hate to "ship off" a kid because he's difficult but he's not my kid and his mother has bent over backwards while working full time and managing her other son.  Hisbteacher calls yesterday and said his grades literally can't go lower. Every word out of his mouth is a lie. Everything he touches he damaged. No remorse, no appreciation, no respect ever.  He's out.

[Odysseus123]

5 hours ago, ThaiWai said:

Yeah we tried with him but it's like living with an animal bent on destroying everything.  Update is we found a live in school in Surat that looks pretty good and affordable. I hate to "ship off" a kid because he's difficult but he's not my kid and his mother has bent over backwards while working full time and managing her other son.  Hisbteacher calls yesterday and said his grades literally can't go lower. Every word out of his mouth is a lie. Everything he touches he damaged. No remorse, no appreciation, no respect ever.  He's out.

Good for you and your wife as it appears that you worked together towards a common mutually agreed upon solution and set both boundaries and standards.

 

A more common feature of this form of dysfunctional behaviour up here is that the mother will work secretly on behalf of the child thereby splitting their families and leading to the inevitable demise of the marriage.This appears to happen with the Thai as much the foreigners-one Thai man,who was an excellent provider has just walked out leaving two out of control step-sons and a platoon of his wife's lazy,greedy,grasping relatives.A total nightmare of self entitlement,denial and blame-with absolutely no shame or remorse being expressed by any of the participants.Whilst they display plenty of "Id" and "Ego" the "Superego" is sadly lacking in this culture.

[williet98248]

On 2/25/2017 at 1:48 PM, elgordo38 said:

What method do you use don't leave us hanging

I had a retail camera store.  If the kids were running around uncontrolled I would tell them "Stop that!  This is not a playground."  If that didn't do it I would tell the parents, "If you can't control your children  you will all have to leave."  If no parent close by just a stern, "Behave yourselves!"  will usually do it.  Kids will respond to discipline.

[elgordo38]

2 hours ago, williet98248 said:

I had a retail camera store.  If the kids were running around uncontrolled I would tell them "Stop that!  This is not a playground."  If that didn't do it I would tell the parents, "If you can't control your children  you will all have to leave."  If no parent close by just a stern, "Behave yourselves!"  will usually do it.  Kids will respond to discipline.

From what I am seeing the balance is changing. To much TV and IT and not enough exercise and parent and child time. It used to be called bonding. 

[CharlieH]

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