The quest for low effort happiness.

[swissie]

After a 5 year stay in the sticks in Thailand, I am back in my home country.

 

From time to time I am getting approached by some males here, that would not mind getting involved with a Thai-Lady for the long run, but not wanting to go through "Dating-Sites", nor wanting to meet a "Bar-Lady" in some Thai-Tourist-Hub. Understandable !

 

But now they think I have a list of Rural Thai-Ladies, that are just waiting for a more or less "Charming" Farang to come along, with not many questions asked.

 

At this point, I have to set them straight: A rural mature Thai Lady with no Tourist Hub experience is a conservative species and lenghty courtship (including the Thai-Family), is normal procedure, especially if a Farang is involved.

 

The expression "Lenghty Courtship" in the sticks is not appreciated much. "So it's back to Dating-Sites and Happy Hunting in the Bar-Scene", I tell them, (based on trial and error). But that too is not appreciated very much.

 

They want the cake and eat it too. Under these circumstances there is nothing I can do for them. I can not serve them "Personal-Happiness" on a silver platter, (since I must have "plenty of interesting connections" in the sticks of Thailand.) OK, rant over. Cheers.

 

[jerojero]

Less of a rant, and more of a set of facts that those guys ought to heed. And they perhaps also should learn alot more about Thai-Farang relationships before partaking.

[wwest5829]

I am still, evidently, in the mourning period after the ending of my relationship. I live here fulltime in retirement. Its not just those who have yet to come to the LOS are stuck with reality. C. Mai is not the Isaan countryside by any means but the meeting of a good Thai girl willing to trade off her beauty and relative youth for econonmic security is a challenge. Currently on the websites looking and "toying" with trying to convince myself I can play in bars without getting emotionally involved. As observed... have not given up having my cake and eating it too.

[dotpoom]

In my experience....."genuine"  people usually attract genuine people, and non -genuine people etc., etc., etc.,

[1FinickyOne]

Just ask them if they would like you to pick up anything else when you go off to the supermarket... 

[Laza 45]

21 minutes ago, dotpoom said:

In my experience....."genuine"  people usually attract genuine people, and non -genuine people etc., etc., etc.,

I think there is a bit of wisdom in what you say..  I have quite a few friends in good relationships.. in all cases both seem to be 'genuine' people..   I've never done the internet or bar thing... I was very skeptical about internet dating but I have a few friends that have met their partners online and have good relationships now.. I've never been big on those that hang out in bars.. I certainly would't go looking for love there.. I was just very very lucky to meet my wife by chance while traveling... 10 years now and going strong.. good luck guys...

 

[Lucky mike]

Happiness comes from giving rather than taking !

[transam]

45 minutes ago, Lucky mike said:

Happiness comes from giving rather than taking !

Not according to my ex UK wife.....

[HerbalEd]

3 hours ago, wwest5829 said:

I am still, evidently, in the mourning period after the ending of my relationship. I live here fulltime in retirement. Its not just those who have yet to come to the LOS are stuck with reality. C. Mai is not the Isaan countryside by any means but the meeting of a good Thai girl willing to trade off her beauty and relative youth for econonmic security is a challenge. Currently on the websites looking and "toying" with trying to convince myself I can play in bars without getting emotionally involved. As observed... have not given up having my cake and eating it too.

I prefer having my Thai cookie and eating it too.

 

[Enoon]

 

"They want the cake and eat it too"

 

And all over Isaan Thai women are pestering their female friends (with foreign partners) to find them a nice foreign man (with good heart) who will bring the riches of the West and  happily fit in with Thai customs.

 

You're nearly "in business".

 

 

[saakura]

3 hours ago, dotpoom said:

In my experience....."genuine"  people usually attract genuine people, and non -genuine people etc., etc., etc.,

Old Harold and the porn queen Nat come to mind.

[elgordo38]

11 hours ago, swissie said:

The expression "Lenghty Courtship" in the sticks is not appreciated much. "So it's back to Dating-Sites and Happy Hunting in the Bar-Scene", I tell them, (based on trial and error). But that too is not appreciated very much.

Much different than my "sticks" experience. I met this beautiful Thai lady on Thai Love Links. Tall with a smile to die for. She insisted I come to the "sticks" to meet her mother and sister. I did I took the bus and she met me at the station. She looked even better in real life holding my hand on the 90 minute bus ride back to her village. When bedtime approached I asked her "Where do I sleep?" Her casual comment was "upstairs with me" Works for me I said. So started my one and only venture into the hinterland. Every experience is different I would guess. 

[elgordo38]

No rants here interesting read. 

3 hours ago, kenk24 said:

Just ask them if they would like you to pick up anything else when you go off to the supermarket... 

She was with me and we needed 2 buggies. 

[smotherb]

4 hours ago, wwest5829 said:

I am still, evidently, in the mourning period after the ending of my relationship. I live here fulltime in retirement. Its not just those who have yet to come to the LOS are stuck with reality. C. Mai is not the Isaan countryside by any means but the meeting of a good Thai girl willing to trade off her beauty and relative youth for econonmic security is a challenge. Currently on the websites looking and "toying" with trying to convince myself I can play in bars without getting emotionally involved. As observed... have not given up having my cake and eating it too.

As you should. We have all seen the young farang and young Thai nice girl relationship--the young NES teachers are a prime example, I know of eight or ten of them who have nice Thai gf/wives--including my son. However, I also know a few older farangs who have found nice Thai women--e.g., one was a local fifty-something O&G company site manager who married his thirty-something Thai office manager, another was a sixty-something university professor who married his twenty-something teaching assistant. It happens, but each of the May-December Thai-farang relationships I see where the Thai woman is not from the bar, the older farang has something going for him other than a pocket full of money.   

[Xobtsiwt]

3 hours ago, Lucky mike said:

Happiness comes from giving rather than taking !

This is true; my ex-girlfriend gave me a dose. I felt sad, but that quickly turned to happiness when I gave it to her best friend.

[transam]

OP, your friends are just looking for a leg over that seems to allude them at their time of life and appearance perhaps...?

[BsBs]

"

At this point, I have to set them straight: A rural mature Thai Lady with no Tourist Hub experience is a conservative species and lenghty courtship (including the Thai-Family), is normal procedure, especially if a Farang is involved.

 

"

 

Not sure you really understood Thai and Thailand...

 

Or maybe you still live in your dreams :-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

[GOLDBUGGY]

Do they expect to meet their future Thai Wife from a Line-up in a Swim Suit Competition?

 

Gosh! If they want to meet a Thai Woman then they first need to come to Thailand.

 

Hit a few bars if they like. But going to any Supermarket or Shop, smiling and striking up a conversation with one of them, should easily get you to first base.

 

My Thai Wife sometimes hates that I am so friendly and strike up a friendly conversation with anyone of the Female Gender, .

[swissie]

9 hours ago, BsBs said:

"

At this point, I have to set them straight: A rural mature Thai Lady with no Tourist Hub experience is a conservative species and lenghty courtship (including the Thai-Family), is normal procedure, especially if a Farang is involved.

 

"

 

Not sure you really understood Thai and Thailand...

 

Or maybe you still live in your dreams :-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are absolutely correct. 5 years in the sticks plus very frequent visits to Pattaya can not possibly qualify me as a person "in the know" concerning the "inner workings" of Thai Society.

 

- The more would I welcome further comments from you concerning the "inner-workings" of Thailand,since (according to you)

 

" I know nothing about Thailand."

 

Always willing to learn. Cheers.