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New German movie "Happy" - an adult daughter struggles with her father's decision to get married in Thailand


mrdome

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There are many things I did and would have told my father but never "Dad, you are 60 years old and maybe you don't need IT anymore (sounds like "you should not need IT anymore" to me)" - this is their last exchange in the trailer. The (Western?) idea that people as they age lose their right to sexuality is just wrong but then again, I have a penis myself...

 

Looks like the movie might suffer a bit from not being able to even move beyond this basic issue but don't want to judge it yet before having seen the whole thing.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

It took my daughter and only child a while to get used to dad being married to a girl a year younger than her but over the years it has all worked out and the two of them are like sisters now. Now the issue is that my daughter just had a baby and my wife is having a hard time being called "granny!" Lol


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There was a very good French series on TV5 a few years back (2010 ish) called "Ladybar" about a middle age Frenchman who comes to Thailand on a 'golfing" holiday with a mate and after not indulging like his friend with the caddies finally meets a bar girl and romance blossoms. It was really well made.

 

Interesting to see this when it comes out.

 

My eldest daughter was young enough to be my current wife's daughter biologically so different circumstances. But I know my ex and her then bf made a few snide remarks behind my back and my daughter went off the deep end at them. Kids can be very protective as well as sensitive.

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Yeah, but the contention is not just from your children; the rest of your family and friends may also think you a fool, especially if there is an age difference..

 

I took two SEA wives back to the States--immediately the wives of friends and even some of the male friends made snide remarks implying they must have come from the bars--it seems a common mind-set in the US is any American married to an Asian woman must have been a GI who was stationed overseas and married a whore. Even worse was the fact some of my relatives thought that way. 

 

 

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Just now, smotherb said:

Yeah, but the contention is not just from your children; the rest of your family and friends may also think you a fool, especially if there is an age difference..

 

I took two SEA wives back to the States--immediately the wives of friends and even some of the male friends made snide remarks implying they must have come from the bars--it seems a common mind-set in the US is any American married to an Asian woman must have been a GI who was stationed overseas and married a whore. Even worse was the fact some of my relatives thought that way. 

 

 

 

Fair point. The small mindedness of some people is amazing. 

 

Some numpties assume you either married a whore, bought your wife from her impoverished family, or that she's a gold digger just after a British passport. 

 

 

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8 minutes ago, Baerboxer said:

 

Fair point. The small mindedness of some people is amazing. 

 

Some numpties assume you either married a whore, bought your wife from her impoverished family, or that she's a gold digger just after a British passport. 

 

 

Lets he honest, that is quite a fair assumption to make

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Of course sons and daughters from a previous marriage may voice reservations, when Daddy marries a Thai-Beauty, investing heavily in the newly found Thai Family.


It has happened, that said sons and daughters end up with nothing, once Daddy has gone to heaven. I am sure, such sons and daughters will keep fond memories of Daddy as long as they live.
Cheers.

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3 hours ago, Baerboxer said:

 

Fair point. The small mindedness of some people is amazing. 

 

Some numpties assume you either married a whore, bought your wife from her impoverished family, or that she's a gold digger just after a British passport. 

 

 

This is true, many/most people do pass this judgement, but it's because that is all they know, from listening to others, from watching TV, from all the various disaster stories they hear over time.  For every success story there must be at least 100 disasters, in terms of marriages to foreign women go.  It can be frustrating for sure when people you know or are related to think this way.  Even some "normal" women who have never been in the bar scene and come from families with money can still mess a man up.  I know, that's what has happened to me.  I often think had  I NOT brought my Thai wife and her grown kids to America, I wouldn't be in divorce court today.  Being exposed to American women and their lack of values seems to have polluted her brain and her kid's brains as well.  They became, over time, people I no longer recognized.   It didn't help that my wife wasn't very well educated and her kids were of course influencing her too.  Such is life.  Live and learn and  move on, but still it can be devastating emotionally at the least and oftentimes financially as well.   Having a wife who is on dating sites and not communicating with you at all is also embarrassing, especially when you used to tell all your friends how good she was and how happy you were.   So the moral of the story is "stuff happens"  even when you make the best of plans.  

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5 hours ago, lostinataxi said:

This is true, many/most people do pass this judgement, but it's because that is all they know, from listening to others, from watching TV, from all the various disaster stories they hear over time.  For every success story there must be at least 100 disasters, in terms of marriages to foreign women go.  It can be frustrating for sure when people you know or are related to think this way.  Even some "normal" women who have never been in the bar scene and come from families with money can still mess a man up.  I know, that's what has happened to me.  I often think had  I NOT brought my Thai wife and her grown kids to America, I wouldn't be in divorce court today.  Being exposed to American women and their lack of values seems to have polluted her brain and her kid's brains as well.  They became, over time, people I no longer recognized.   It didn't help that my wife wasn't very well educated and her kids were of course influencing her too.  Such is life.  Live and learn and  move on, but still it can be devastating emotionally at the least and oftentimes financially as well.   Having a wife who is on dating sites and not communicating with you at all is also embarrassing, especially when you used to tell all your friends how good she was and how happy you were.   So the moral of the story is "stuff happens"  even when you make the best of plans.  

Sorry to hear of your situation. I can imagine it happens like that sometimes, though you hope it isn't you that it happens to. That American women's mentality is what we're trying to get away from when we get with a traditional Southeast Asian woman and it's sad when they get corrupted by that same thing. I have two buddies that have been happily married for over 10 year in the states so I'm hoping to join their club. Their wives didn't have kids though and neither does mine so maybe that had something to do with it like you said. The bottom line anywhere is that relationships are always a gamble. You don't know how someone might change. Good luck in your future relationships and good luck to all of us.

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15 hours ago, sanemax said:

Lets he honest, that is quite a fair assumption to make

Not sure how fair any assumption may be; especially when it is held through ignorance.

I agree, many of the Western male and Asian female relationships have started as customer and prostitute. If it is true, then the couple has to deal with it. However, when it is not true, and saying it is not true only accrues more snide remarks; then I have a problem with it and those who think that way.

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17 hours ago, Baerboxer said:

There was a very good French series on TV5 a few years back (2010 ish) called "Ladybar" about a middle age Frenchman who comes to Thailand on a 'golfing" holiday with a mate and after not indulging like his friend with the caddies finally meets a bar girl and romance blossoms. It was really well made.

 

Interesting to see this when it comes out.

 

My eldest daughter was young enough to be my current wife's daughter biologically so different circumstances. But I know my ex and her then bf made a few snide remarks behind my back and my daughter went off the deep end at them. Kids can be very protective as well as sensitive.

There was a film on the TV not so long ago, where a Italian/German boy/young man, meets a girl and falls in love with her, whilst on holiday. He promises all sorts of " i will come back for you" stuff, but he genuinely loves her. He refuses to get on the Plane home with his mum and dad, and goes back to find the girl. His dad goes home but his mum stays. The girl has gone back to her village, and the boy finds out and finds her at the bus station. Then! horor of horror's she reveals that she is a lady boy.It was quite good, because his mum comes to the village, and there's all sorts of problems. He , first of all, rejects the girls/boy because he thinks he cant deal with it. But it all ends up rather nicely, and he comes to terns with who is is. Good movie.

Did anybody else see it.

 

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2 hours ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Did anybody else see it.

Of course.

"Patong Girl".

It was discussed in the forum and I think there is an English language version.

It was shown at an official event in Bangkok.

For Thai "experts" it hurts a bit to see that this "Patong" movie starts with a Baht bus ride on Pattaya 2nd rd. :biggrin: A mate has a 1 second "background role" at the northern bus terminal.

The whole film was done in Pattaya and nearby and pretends to be in Phuket.

Have it on disk.

 

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20 hours ago, smotherb said:

Yeah, but the contention is not just from your children; the rest of your family and friends may also think you a fool, especially if there is an age difference..

 

I took two SEA wives back to the States--immediately the wives of friends and even some of the male friends made snide remarks implying they must have come from the bars--it seems a common mind-set in the US is any American married to an Asian woman must have been a GI who was stationed overseas and married a whore. Even worse was the fact some of my relatives thought that way. 

 

 

Nothing wrong with being a happy fool. The problem with taking a foreign lady back to the West it is not long before they realize from coffee clatching fat ladies smoking cigarettes the multitude of "rights" they have including welfare. At the first sign of disagreement they have a plan. 

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16 hours ago, lostinataxi said:

 Being exposed to American women and their lack of values seems to have polluted her brain and her kid's brains as well.  They became, over time, people I no longer recognized.

Same happened to me. Life in the west seems to overwhelm them. Her son came to the west had the opportunity that anyone from his home country would cut off their left (you know) for and he blew it and ended up back in his home country on the streets. Go figure. 

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1 hour ago, KhunBENQ said:

Of course.

"Patong Girl".

It was discussed in the forum and I think there is an English language version.

It was shown at an official event in Bangkok.

For Thai "experts" it hurts a bit to see that this "Patong" movie starts with a Baht bus ride on Pattaya 2nd rd. :biggrin: A mate has a 1 second "background role" at the northern bus terminal.

The whole film was done in Pattaya and nearby and pretends to be in Phuket.

Have it on disk.

 

Great film. I would like to have seen the English language version. I was an extra in a movie years ago. The movie was called 'Teddy Bear' And 3 of us went to the Crystal Palace hotel in Nacluer, to have screen tests. The film was a Swedish film, but it was made by the 'Thai film company' We had to play the parts of pissed up  tourist's (no hardship there then) We had to stand on soi 7 in Patts and have some bar girls hanging off of us(once again, no hardship) Then i got a solo, where i had to walk across beach road from one side to the other. We were fed, the food was great, we each got 1500 baht for couple of hours. And we all had a great time. The star was a big muscly guy. I have never seen the movie, but it can be googled This must be about 6/7 years ago now.

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1 hour ago, elgordo38 said:

Nothing wrong with being a happy fool. The problem with taking a foreign lady back to the West it is not long before they realize from coffee clatching fat ladies smoking cigarettes the multitude of "rights" they have including welfare. At the first sign of disagreement they have a plan. 

Yes, if you want to be a fool, you might as well be happy. However, I have to disagree with your statement that they must become Americanized.

 

My Vietnamese wife is retired as the CFO of a Plastics company. She was three years older than I. She never lost her Asian ways, even though she was educated at the Sorbonne and was a financial manager at the US embassy when I met her. In fact, she never needed my financial support, instead, she paid off my debts and made the down payment on our first house..

 

My Filipina wife was much younger, but is now retired too--as a  program manager for the state of Florida. I did provide financial support for her, until she finished her degree program and went to work. She made enough to support herself quite well, yet she stayed with me--38 years now. She too never lost her Asian ways; in fact, she still does everything for me and our family, including bring home the bacon..

 

I think it must depend upon the quality of the lady you marry--whether or not she wants to contribute to the relationship or just be another expense. 

 

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39 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Yes, if you want to be a fool, you might as well be happy. However, I have to disagree with your statement that they must become Americanized.

 

My Vietnamese wife is retired as the CFO of a Plastics company. She was three years older than I. She never lost her Asian ways, even though she was educated at the Sorbonne and was a financial manager at the US embassy when I met her. In fact, she never needed my financial support, instead, she paid off my debts and made the down payment on our first house..

 

My Filipina wife was much younger, but is now retired too--as a  program manager for the state of Florida. I did provide financial support for her, until she finished her degree program and went to work. She made enough to support herself quite well, yet she stayed with me--38 years now. She too never lost her Asian ways; in fact, she still does everything for me and our family, including bring home the bacon..

 

I think it must depend upon the quality of the lady you marry--whether or not she wants to contribute to the relationship or just be another expense. 

 

Luck of the draw.

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57 minutes ago, elgordo38 said:

Luck of the draw.

I don't think it was luck; although I have been fortunate. I actively sought intelligent and ambitious ladies who already had made a good start--a financial manager at my embassy, and a bookkeeper for my company.

 

It wasn't always that way, my first wife was an American. We were both very young and we married for sex--sex is very important in a marriage, but if that is all there is; the relationship will not last. Ours didn't anyway. However, neither of us had anything, so the marriage did not cost me anything; in fact, it taught me well.

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On 4/23/2017 at 6:22 AM, fordguy61mi said:

Sorry to hear of your situation. I can imagine it happens like that sometimes, though you hope it isn't you that it happens to. That American women's mentality is what we're trying to get away from when we get with a traditional Southeast Asian woman and it's sad when they get corrupted by that same thing. I have two buddies that have been happily married for over 10 year in the states so I'm hoping to join their club. Their wives didn't have kids though and neither does mine so maybe that had something to do with it like you said. The bottom line anywhere is that relationships are always a gamble. You don't know how someone might change. Good luck in your future relationships and good luck to all of us.

If she has kids your always an outsider. I have run into this time and gain. Just watched the complete Rectify series someone here mentioned. Its a good example of children interacting with each other sorry to deviate. Great series. Always looking for a great series PM if you come across any. 

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On 4/22/2017 at 8:11 PM, smotherb said:

Yeah, but the contention is not just from your children; the rest of your family and friends may also think you a fool, especially if there is an age difference..

 

I took two SEA wives back to the States--immediately the wives of friends and even some of the male friends made snide remarks implying they must have come from the bars--it seems a common mind-set in the US is any American married to an Asian woman must have been a GI who was stationed overseas and married a whore. Even worse was the fact some of my relatives thought that way. 

 

 

Envy speaks with forked tongue. 

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On 2017-4-23 at 3:39 AM, lostinataxi said:

This is true, many/most people do pass this judgement, but it's because that is all they know, from listening to others, from watching TV, from all the various disaster stories they hear over time.  For every success story there must be at least 100 disasters, in terms of marriages to foreign women go.  It can be frustrating for sure when people you know or are related to think this way.  Even some "normal" women who have never been in the bar scene and come from families with money can still mess a man up.  I know, that's what has happened to me.  I often think had  I NOT brought my Thai wife and her grown kids to America, I wouldn't be in divorce court today.  Being exposed to American women and their lack of values seems to have polluted her brain and her kid's brains as well.  They became, over time, people I no longer recognized.   It didn't help that my wife wasn't very well educated and her kids were of course influencing her too.  Such is life.  Live and learn and  move on, but still it can be devastating emotionally at the least and oftentimes financially as well.   Having a wife who is on dating sites and not communicating with you at all is also embarrassing, especially when you used to tell all your friends how good she was and how happy you were.   So the moral of the story is "stuff happens"  even when you make the best of plans.  

Age difference?

Education difference

Lifestyle difference?

 

If this woman is so easy influenced by others then maybe she wasnt the right one to begin with.

 

 

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On 2017-4-22 at 11:17 PM, Baerboxer said:

 

Fair point. The small mindedness of some people is amazing. 

 

Some numpties assume you either married a whore, bought your wife from her impoverished family, or that she's a gold digger just after a British passport. 

 

 

5 to 10% of the time those assumptions would be correct.

 

 

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On 2017-4-23 at 3:24 PM, smotherb said:

Not sure how fair any assumption may be; especially when it is held through ignorance.

I agree, many of the Western male and Asian female relationships have started as customer and prostitute. If it is true, then the couple has to deal with it. However, when it is not true, and saying it is not true only accrues more snide remarks; then I have a problem with it and those who think that way.

Usually people can tell a genuine person from a bargirl type after a  few hours talking.

 

If not who cares. If you love someone who cares what others think? Unless you dont really love them in the first place which is probably true for lots of these relationships of convenience.

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  • 1 month later...

My daughter and wife are close in age and they adore each other. My daughter was never judgmental about my wife and only cared that I was happy. At first she was a little surprised that I would get into any relationship again after a pretty bad run with her mom, but after meeting my wife and seeing how well she treated me any concerns she had were put to rest. It certainly never negatively impacted our relationship.


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On 4/22/2017 at 7:59 AM, swissie said:

Of course sons and daughters from a previous marriage may voice reservations, when Daddy marries a Thai-Beauty, investing heavily in the newly found Thai Family.


It has happened, that said sons and daughters end up with nothing, once Daddy has gone to heaven. I am sure, such sons and daughters will keep fond memories of Daddy as long as they live.
Cheers.

 

This is actually a good point and one that many old selfish arrogant men refuse to acknowledge. 

 

I actually do remember quite vividly when my 40 year old father got himself an 18 year old opera singer which he later married. She was a white chick, and these kind of relationships with old men in central Europe and ex-commie blocks are also somewhat common. He promised me many times he would not get married let alone have kids. I believed him and got disappointed. Since his new kid I was never in the picture again.

 

Anyhoo.... thanks for a reminder.

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