rude awakening

[Foozool]

My dad had a stroke about 20 years ago. No more smoking and some treatments kept him alive. He is still there, but I believe if he did not do treatment (by medications), he would not be there now. 

One more thing: he is not a bedridden. 

Edited June 7, 2017 by Foozool

[geisha]

Why not work out what you need every week/month to spend , plus a little, and have this money transferred automatically to your wife's account. If she doesn't have one, set one up. If you were in hospital, can you pay ? Do you have health insurance ? If not, I would definitely go back to your home country as soon as you can travel. 

If you can pay, and have health insurance, there are hospital coordinators who speak English and they would sort all that out for you.

lots of people deal with illness, you can too. 

[lovelomsak]

1 minute ago, Foozool said:

My dad had a stroke about 20 years ago. No more smoking and some treatments kept him alive. He is still there, but I believe if he did not do treatment (by medications), he would not be there now. 

One more thing: he is not a bedridden. 

I am happy for you and your father It is nice to hear he recovered and has a full life.

 Who knows if I will even ave another stroke? Or if I do how bad it will be. I am just looking at what could happen in the worst case. and how complicated it could become.

[Laza 45]

10 hours ago, steven100 said:

you need to have a thai gf to take care of your finances.

many farang have done this to relieve them of the burden and worries of getting to the ATM. 

I just had this conversation with my good lady a few minutes ago... she and our  daughter need to know how to access my bank account and transfer $$ in an emergency.. passwords.. everything.. otherwise if I have a stroke or an accident .. they and me are stuffed.. I'm fortunate.. I can trust them..  they must know..  I have a daughter in OZ with power of attorney but how long would it take for her to access and deliver $$ in an emergency?   Be prepared.. 

[mikebike]

If you are incapacitated and bed ridden in hospital what do you need money for? Canadian credit card will pay the hospital, what other expenses need covering?

If you are incapacitated at home you will need to trust someone.

You can change your will. Call your lawyer and give him/her direction.

TD Canada Trust mails me a new ATM card to my Thai address one month before the old one expires.

[Mike45]

My 2 cents worth of straight talking. I hope you appreciate it for what it is, an honest attempt to help you.

 

You need immediate medical treatment for the stroke you think you had. You're not a doctor and you obviously can afford to pay for your medical care. Killing yourself is not medical treatment. Because of the medical condition you're probably not thinking correctly right now. So don't make ANY decisions other than getting the best medical treatment possible RIGHT NOW.

 

You make it sound like you cannot trust your wife and that when you die you intend to do absolutely nothing for her. Maybe I'm wrong but that's what it sounded like. You should be planning to make sure she has ACCESS to money to live off of for her lifetime. Meanwhile if you're incapacitated she can use that money to take care of you.

 

You sound as though you suffer from some paranoia or fear that someone is going to take everything away from you. It even stretches so far that you can't trust internet banking and I think you said SWIFT. . It's 2017 get with it, that's how banking is done. Internet banking makes living in a foreign country possible. If you can't bring yourself to do it you probably don't belong here. PERHAPS you should consider moving home and live next to your bank.

 

You said your sister is dying. Why aren't you getting on a plane and going to see her? You can travel with a catheter after you've been medically cleared to fly for your current medical problem. She's your sister for God's sake! You appear to only be thinking about yourself and your problems.

 

You say you've had a rude Awakening and realize how vulnerable we ALL are here in Thailand. I'M NOT! If you are it's because YOU'VE MADE YOURSELF vulnerable.

 

I sincerely wish you the best of luck with your medical problems and your other issues. But I've learned in my lifetime that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

[DogNo1]

This is jumping ahead but if the OP wants to be in control of his money he should use his bank's online banking.  He can double password protect his login and set up five challenge questions that only he can answer each time he accesses his account.  If he can't remember the passwords, he can purchase and use RoboForm to fill them in for him after he enters his RoboForm PIN.  That leaves only one password to remember and it can be discretely written down somewhere.  He can open a joint account with his wife at Bangkok Bank and transfer money to their New York branch as he needs it.  It will show up in his account in Thailand,  If you are incapacitated, accessing your accounts from any phone, tablet or computer is the way to go.  Just as a person needs to learn to use a walker or crutches if his legs are injured, he needs to learn how to use the Internet to solve his problem.  Other methods will be laborious and complicated.  As a previous poster pointed out, if he only transfers a certain amount to his bank in Thailand each month, that's the only money that will be at risk.

[lovelomsak]

20 minutes ago, Mike45 said:

My 2 cents worth of straight talking. I hope you appreciate it for what it is, an honest attempt to help you.

 

You need immediate medical treatment for the stroke you think you had. You're not a doctor and you obviously can afford to pay for your medical care. Killing yourself is not medical treatment. Because of the medical condition you're probably not thinking correctly right now. So don't make ANY decisions other than getting the best medical treatment possible RIGHT NOW.

 

You make it sound like you cannot trust your wife and that when you die you intend to do absolutely nothing for her. Maybe I'm wrong but that's what it sounded like. You should be planning to make sure she has ACCESS to money to live off of for her lifetime. Meanwhile if you're incapacitated she can use that money to take care of you.

 

You sound as though you suffer from some paranoia or fear that someone is going to take everything away from you. It even stretches so far that you can't trust internet banking and I think you said SWIFT. . It's 2017 get with it, that's how banking is done. Internet banking makes living in a foreign country possible. If you can't bring yourself to do it you probably don't belong here. PERHAPS you should consider moving home and live next to your bank.

 

You said your sister is dying. Why aren't you getting on a plane and going to see her? You can travel with a catheter after you've been medically cleared to fly for your current medical problem. She's your sister for God's sake! You appear to only be thinking about yourself and your problems.

 

You say you've had a rude Awakening and realize how vulnerable we ALL are here in Thailand. I'M NOT! If you are it's because YOU'VE MADE YOURSELF vulnerable.

 

I sincerely wish you the best of luck with your medical problems and your other issues. But I've learned in my lifetime that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

Thanks for your advice. 

  You are right I trust no one. My wife will be left with enough to carry for a few years depending how she spends it.

  You are right about swift and I am starting to lean towards using it with the help of my banker.

 I went back last July and spent time with my sister.I had a foley catheter placed inside my penis and after 3 weeks I was in extreme pain from the friction. I am still in pain from till this day because of frequent cathetering.. I call her bi weekly and send her money to help her.. She is in the final stages but I cannot endure the pain again of a long term foley inside me to go see her.

  But you may be right swift may be the answer to all my problems.

[DipStick]

To the OP before going any further read this. Things may not be as you think.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4577834/How-SURVIVE-fall-death.html

 

i myself thought I had a stroke and THOUGHT I HAD LOST MY BALANCE ETC this article opened my eyes, and two month later, with no medication I am improving every day. As the Royal Marine Commando saying goes "ITS A STATE OF MIND" in other words don't let your mind over rule your heart and body , sadly in your case you have rather pathetically given in..... FIGHT

[bazza73]

5 minutes ago, lovelomsak said:

Thanks for your advice. 

  You are right I trust no one. My wife will be left with enough to carry for a few years depending how she spends it.

  You are right about swift and I am starting to lean towards using it with the help of my banker.

 I went back last July and spent time with my sister.I had a foley catheter placed inside my penis and after 3 weeks I was in extreme pain from the friction. I am still in pain from till this day because of frequent cathetering.. I call her bi weekly and send her money to help her.. She is in the final stages but I cannot endure the pain again of a long term foley inside me to go see her.

  But you may be right swift may be the answer to all my problems.

If you don't trust anyone, then no-one will be able to help you if you become incapacitated.

There is no other family member in Canada that you can give a Power of Attorney to?

As far as my Thai GF is concerned, she is provided for in my Thai and Australian wills.

She also has access to some cash in an emergency. She has more interest in keeping me alive than seeing me dead.

[nasanews]

11 hours ago, lovelomsak said:

 The bottom line on trusting someone to have access to my money  is really testing the boundaries of trust. 

 

Sometimes when I'm drunk and short on money I give my local friend my ATM card with the pin number to withdraw some money for me also I remember when I bought my condo last year there a was an electrician fixing the aircon he needed his money but I was sleeping.   I woke up gave him the ATM card and the pin number then went back to sleep.

 

The way I see it as follows;

Eventually I trusted them so they thought (oh man this guy gave me his ATM card and his pin number so I won't let him down (they said) 

But I never gave it to a lady yet.

Edited June 7, 2017 by nasanews

[YT3k72Em]

I don't know of any hospital in Thailand that won't take Credit Cards or Debit Cards. 

I don't know why you are fixated on going to an ATM.

Internet and mobile banking can be used to transfer money and pay bills too.

[kraxlhuber]

4 hours ago, Beats56 said:

Use world remit. .a app to transfer money. I have given my wife total access to my accounts and pin numbers. She is a good girl. Something to think about getting incapacitated here. I wish you well and recover soon.

 

Lucky you that you have a honest wife and You trust her.

I did the same,  trust my wife  she took my credit card  at night and found my pin numbers and  cleared  out not only my bank-account but  took the registration books of the cars and  hocked  all, don't trust anybody inclusive yourself. The missus  is  surely eyeballing the 800000 baht security money for  the visas, its hers in any case

[Stuart21]

14 hours ago, steven100 said:

you need to have a thai gf to take care of your finances.

many farang have done this to relieve them of the burden and worries of getting to the ATM. 

555!!

[redbarron]

12 hours ago, NanLaew said:

Three things the OP needs to investigate as soon as possible.

 

Trust.

A Living Will.

Power of Attorney.

It's probably not an option for the OP,  but whomever reads this should consider purchasing long term care insurance. Some are international and some are not.

[jeab1980]

1 hour ago, kraxlhuber said:

Lucky you that you have a honest wife and You trust her.

I did the same,  trust my wife  she took my credit card  at night and found my pin numbers and  cleared  out not only my bank-account but  took the registration books of the cars and  hocked  all, don't trust anybody inclusive yourself. The missus  is  surely eyeballing the 800000 baht security money for  the visas, its hers in any case

Yawn.

[lucjoker]

Imagine you have cash money in your house .....still a problem ,you can not get out to buy something ,

so give your wife your bankcard and pin nr ,

she will take your money........you only have to ask her 1 time ......

you will not have to repeat yourself.

In a short while you will not have a money problem anymore, nor a card.......life can be easy.

 

[ableguy]

15 hours ago, lovelomsak said:

I have a wife but what does that good does that do? How could she help if I was totally disabled?

she has no access to my accounts.Even the money in my Thai bank would be unaccessble if I could not get down to an ATM. 

faraday no treatment will be done but thanks any ways.

 ulysses how do I arrange to get money transferred from a hospital bed while incapacitated?

 tomwct AE in Bangkok is useless they cannot even cash the cheques.

  Sorry for being so negative to everyone trying to help,

  I made a trip back to Canada last year to creat some way to send money. The banker said use western union. Hows that for a good response.

  All day I was dealing with ending it.I have other health problems too. I catheter because my bladder completely quit.so am pretty well house captive as it is I have pain constantly in the bladder area that the doctors say should not be there so nothing can be done to help me I just live with severe pain all the time.Who wants to be this vulnerable late in life.In a split second I could be in a bed for the rest of my life and have no access to funds to maintain me.

 The bottom line on trusting someone to have access to my money  is really testing the boundaries of trust. 

 I talked to a friend last night and explained that if I wait to end it I may not be able to end it because of a stroke that makes it impossible to do anything. So if I want to make sure it is done I have to stop gambling on how long I have before a major stroke happens.and do it soon.

To answer your question, I have health problems too. One trip to hospital they wanted 25000 up front as a deposit, lucky for me I had my ATM card fo Bangkok bank with me and sent my long live together gf to withdraw the money. After this experience I put 200,000 into a special account with a separate atm card to be used in medical emergency only by my gf, I cancelled my regulate ATM card as there is so much fraud going on here. So far it has worked great, should I die she can also withdraw this money immediately to live on as in my will I leave everything to her however probate can take up to six months, I should add I look after her twelve year old niece and pay for her private school education, themoney will also cover any emergency there..

of course this advice will not work if you do not have access to sufficient funds however you never mentioned that, just trying to help, wish you well.

[brling]

6 hours ago, jeab1980 said:

So your settings her up for a fall with you as the judge/jury and executioner! Yep that sounds about right for TV posters

Many positive and negative replies on this thread, so why do you Thai apologists only read the negatives ?

[bangkokairportlink]

16 hours ago, lovelomsak said:

I have a wife but what does that good does that do? How could she help if I was totally disabled?

she has no access to my accounts.Even the money in my Thai bank would be unaccessble if I could not get down to an ATM. 

faraday no treatment will be done but thanks any ways.

 ulysses how do I arrange to get money transferred from a hospital bed while incapacitated?

 tomwct AE in Bangkok is useless they cannot even cash the cheques.

  Sorry for being so negative to everyone trying to help,

  I made a trip back to Canada last year to creat some way to send money. The banker said use western union. Hows that for a good response.

  All day I was dealing with ending it.I have other health problems too. I catheter because my bladder completely quit.so am pretty well house captive as it is I have pain constantly in the bladder area that the doctors say should not be there so nothing can be done to help me I just live with severe pain all the time.Who wants to be this vulnerable late in life.In a split second I could be in a bed for the rest of my life and have no access to funds to maintain me.

 The bottom line on trusting someone to have access to my money  is really testing the boundaries of trust. 

 I talked to a friend last night and explained that if I wait to end it I may not be able to end it because of a stroke that makes it impossible to do anything. So if I want to make sure it is done I have to stop gambling on how long I have before a major stroke happens.and do it soon.

 

Ridiculous. Just give her your ATM. And if you cannot trust anyone, buy a new life.

 

 

[JSixpack]

4 hours ago, YT3k72Em said:

I don't know of any hospital in Thailand that won't take Credit Cards or Debit Cards. 

I don't know why you are fixated on going to an ATM.

Internet and mobile banking can be used to transfer money and pay bills too.

 

Or fixated on banks & cards. Good lawd! So complicated. Got one word for ya: cash. Cold hard CASH, baby. Keep a pile in the safe, carry to hsp in a backpack. Deposit w/ hospital, get receipt, and take back the leftover.

 

Sorted!

[thaibeachlovers]

16 hours ago, colinneil said:

You say you have a wife, well thats good, get your wife involved, let her help you.

Stop being negative.

I know because i had serious problems after being made paraplegic.Not easy as banks are hard work.

My UK bank told me you have to visit a branch in person, got the same from Thai bank, we had to go to the bank in Khonkaen, and staff came down to the car to check me out and for me to sign papers.

Now my wife has full access to my banking, works for me.

 

Now before the usual suspects start telling me i dont know what i am talking about,  and that you cannot trust Thai wifes, first i do know what i am talking about, and yes i trust my wife100% in 3 years she has not takn 1 baht from me

I loved my wife but I didn't trust her with my money for good reason, and just as well, as she would have cleaned me out when she decided we were over, had she been able to.

 

To the OP, I can't see any way out for you, sorry. Me too, so I am going home now I have no one that would help me if I was in your situation.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

9 hours ago, lovelomsak said:

I do not want the health services. My father spent the last 2 years of his life in a hospital bed  under Canada health services. For the last 2 years of his life he was medical experiment for doctors to practice on.or with.They kept him on morphine to kill the pain because they refused to replace his hip and he layed there day after day going in and out of reality so the doctors could claim they were caring for a life.It was the most dreadful thing to watch .My father dieing with no dignity or respect. Not for me thank you

Do they not have patient consent in Canada? Did your father not sign that a relative could take legal responsibility if he was incapacitated?

If consent is withdrawn how can they do anything other than keep him comfortable till death?

 

If I ended up in a Thai hospital, I would not give them any money to keep me alive and I have asked my NOK not to give them any money either, so no money I doubt they will do that themselves.

Edited June 7, 2017 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

6 hours ago, Mike45 said:

My 2 cents worth of straight talking. I hope you appreciate it for what it is, an honest attempt to help you.

 

You need immediate medical treatment for the stroke you think you had. You're not a doctor and you obviously can afford to pay for your medical care. Killing yourself is not medical treatment. Because of the medical condition you're probably not thinking correctly right now. So don't make ANY decisions other than getting the best medical treatment possible RIGHT NOW.

 

You make it sound like you cannot trust your wife and that when you die you intend to do absolutely nothing for her. Maybe I'm wrong but that's what it sounded like. You should be planning to make sure she has ACCESS to money to live off of for her lifetime. Meanwhile if you're incapacitated she can use that money to take care of you.

 

You sound as though you suffer from some paranoia or fear that someone is going to take everything away from you. It even stretches so far that you can't trust internet banking and I think you said SWIFT. . It's 2017 get with it, that's how banking is done. Internet banking makes living in a foreign country possible. If you can't bring yourself to do it you probably don't belong here. PERHAPS you should consider moving home and live next to your bank.

 

You said your sister is dying. Why aren't you getting on a plane and going to see her? You can travel with a catheter after you've been medically cleared to fly for your current medical problem. She's your sister for God's sake! You appear to only be thinking about yourself and your problems.

 

You say you've had a rude Awakening and realize how vulnerable we ALL are here in Thailand. I'M NOT! If you are it's because YOU'VE MADE YOURSELF vulnerable.

 

I sincerely wish you the best of luck with your medical problems and your other issues. But I've learned in my lifetime that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

People have mini strokes all the time and no need for treatment.

Perhaps he doesn't want to be with his sister while she is dying- that is his business. You don't know their relationship.

I didn't trust my wife and I was right not to do so.

How do you know he hasn't made a will for his wife?

That is what you would do, that doesn't mean he should do the same.

 

Did you not see the huge internet hack last week? Your money is only safe on the internet till they hack your bank.

[Konaboy1]

18 hours ago, tomwct said:

1. I would fly home and have your mini-stroke checked out! While home buy $5000 in American Express Travelers before you return to Thailand if your health is okay! Use AE checks only for emergencies. If you lose them or they are stolen they are replaceable
2. by the AE Office in Bangkok.

AE would not return $500.00 that was stolen. I will never use them again. Had to go round with telephone calls to India.

Mei Dee!

[AbeSurd]

Find someone who's in more or less the boat as you.

Agree how much emergency money you want to have in place. Let's say you both want 1 million baht in backup.

Each of you open a dedicated Thai bank account with an ATM card - and put 1 million baht in it.

Then you swap ATM cards (and PIN numbers).

Easy peasy.

[jeab1980]

7 hours ago, brling said:

Many positive and negative replies on this thread, so why do you Thai apologists only read the negatives ?

Oh the old thai appologist chestnut. Piss poor reply im afraid

[colinneil]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I loved my wife but I didn't trust her with my money for good reason, and just as well, as she would have cleaned me out when she decided we were over, had she been able to.

 

To the OP, I can't see any way out for you, sorry. Me too, so I am going home now I have no one that would help me if I was in your situation.

 

You loved your wife but didnt trust her.   !!Rubbish !! in a marriage love and trust go together.

[lovelomsak]

Thank you all for the replies.

  This post has helped me a lot.in deciding how I should live and changes I should make to have a good life again.

  I will be eating humble pie though.I said many times since coming here I would never go back to stay in Canada. Well that is changing now. I am thinking of returning for 6 months a year. I do this for many reasons,but all came about because of this stroke and potential issues that can arise.

  I had to do a lot of soul searching and work hard to understand where I am in life.and how to deal with it. I now feel most of the challenges I face now in life can be solved simply by living 6 months a year Thailand 6 months Canada.It solves medical care with definitely more than one opinion about my health problems.,the opinions will even be from 2 different countries doctors.The money will be so easy. Just bring to Thailand what I need when I return each year ,plus I can spend all the money I have reserved for healthcare here(do not need large amount available any more and I will no longer need to keep 800,000 in bank for retirement extention.

  2 days ago I was ready to end it now i am willing to try a new way to live. 

  I realised I was so stubborn I would not look at new ways to solve my issues. I was focused on what I had prioritized and never thought of changing my priorities. Now I changed my priorities and hope I have the answer.

  It will be hard on my wifes and mine relationship  But I believe it is what is needed. Having my wife in my life and caring for her has been the most rewarding days of my life. So we will have to both have to work together and understand this is the best thing for all concerned and work with it.

 I just hope this works.

[jeab1980]

1 minute ago, lovelomsak said:

Thank you all for the replies.

  This post has helped me a lot.in deciding how I should live and changes I should make to have a good life again.

  I will be eating humble pie though.I said many times since coming here I would never go back to stay in Canada. Well that is changing now. I am thinking of returning for 6 months a year. I do this for many reasons,but all came about because of this stroke and potential issues that can arise.

  I had to do a lot of soul searching and work hard to understand where I am in life.and how to deal with it. I now feel most of the challenges I face now in life can be solved simply by living 6 months a year Thailand 6 months Canada.It solves medical care with definitely more than one opinion about my health problems.,the opinions will even be from 2 different countries doctors.The money will be so easy. Just bring to Thailand what I need when I return each year ,plus I can spend all the money I have reserved for healthcare here(do not need large amount available any more and I will no longer need to keep 800,000 in bank for retirement extention.

  2 days ago I was ready to end it now i am willing to try a new way to live. 

  I realised I was so stubborn I would not look at new ways to solve my issues. I was focused on what I had prioritized and never thought of changing my priorities. Now I changed my priorities and hope I have the answer.

  It will be hard on my wifes and mine relationship  But I believe it is what is needed. Having my wife in my life and caring for her has been the most rewarding days of my life. So we will have to both have to work together and understand this is the best thing for all concerned and work with it.

 I just hope this works.

Best dear john or in this case dear dorothy letter going. Instead of telling us why not sit and tell the WIFE.