1 hour ago, lamyai3 said:

Of course, it's very important that the roots and shoots occur in the right order. 

A Koala is sitting in a bar enjoying his drink when a bar girl approaches him. She starts flirting and they chat for a few minutes before the girl looks at the Koala and says

 

"hey, you wanna get outta here?"

 

"Sure!" the Koala replied as he jumped off the stool and took her hand and led her out of the bar.

 

The moment they get into her apartment he immediately pulls her skirt down and starts going down on her. After about 15 minutes the Koala gets up and starts walking around.

 

"what are you doing?" the girl asked.

 

"Oh, I'm getting my stuff and going back to the bar" the Koala replied.

 

"You have to pay me first!" the woman shouted.

 

"What!? Why?" the Koala asked.

 

"Because I'm a prostitute!" the girl said angrily.

 

"What's a prostitute?" he asked

 

The girl grabbed a dictionary from the bedside table and threw it at him. He opened it up and found the word:

 

Prostitute: A person who offers sexual activity in exchange for payment.

 

The Koala snapped the dictionary shut and angrily shouted

 

"Well yeah bitch, I'm a Koala!"

 

"What the <deleted> is a Koala?!" she barked

 

The Koala threw the dictionary back at her and she opened it up to the K section.

 

Koala: Eats bushes and leaves

 

On 7/16/2017 at 4:12 PM, jaywalker said:

I got more elbows in my ribs than Dust Rhodes ever meted out in a lifetime.

I'm finding that if someone's elbows line up with your ribs, then your elbows line up with their jaws. Just makin' an anatomical observation....

7 minutes ago, Ruffian Dick said:

I'm finding that if someone's elbows line up with your ribs, then your elbows line up with their jaws. Just makin' an anatomical observation....

Did that a few times in Abu Dhabi & Dubai.

On 7/17/2017 at 5:37 AM, Somtamnication said:

I am for it. We will have more bbq grill sellers opening shops and hopefully lower the imported prices. 

What would a 'tourist' want with a BBQ grill?

 

I am glad to see that the Aussies are also good spenders.  I do enjoy spending time with them

and having drinks with them as they have great humours. Great accents as well.

  Make the visas more modern like Mexico, 90 day stays with no visas needed. If you want to stay

longer, just go to a Mexico government office and pay a small amount, and voila stay extended.

No forced :Please leave the country just to come back.  Come on Thailand  please understand that

tourists should be important to you and treat us better. 555,  Just dreaming, TIT

Geezer

16 hours ago, Jimmyjames120 said:

You are a Brit, The Queen reigns and she's on your money, ?

The Queen remains on the money out of respect to heritage not because we are Brits! Sheesh 

1 hour ago, lvr181 said:

The Queen remains on the money out of respect to heritage not because we are Brits! Sheesh 

It's ok to be a Brit, just accept it and life will be better ?

3 minutes ago, Jimmyjames120 said:

It's ok to be a Brit, just accept it and life will be better ?

Love your sense of humour  

4 minutes ago, Jimmyjames120 said:

It's ok to be a Brit, just accept it and life will be better ?

I was born in Orlando. I 'want' to look at Ancestry.com & sign up and all that, but I'm terrified I'll be British.

 

I have a younger half brother who fell off the deep end with a British gal.

 

Last time I spoke with him his Florida accent had changed. He lives in Liverpool now.

5 minutes ago, lvr181 said:

Love your sense of humour  

 

38 minutes ago, lvr181 said:

Love your sense of humour  

Gotta go fishing sometimes, got quite a few bites on this occasion, perhaps another cast.....

38 minutes ago, jaywalker said:

I was born in Orlando. I 'want' to look at Ancestry.com & sign up and all that, but I'm terrified I'll be British.

 

I have a younger half brother who fell off the deep end with a British gal.

 

Last time I spoke with him his Florida accent had changed. He lives in Liverpool now.

Righteo 

Thailand wants to increase the population with more people wearing only vests and football shorts? Perhaps that's why they've more money to spend cos its certainly not spent on collars....

Hopefully they mean the Aussie who can actually see his toes and not his beer belly, wears cloths that have been washed at least once in a blue moon, foregoes the singlet and flip flop look, the numerous gold chains and of course the art work aka tattoos covering his arms and legs. Yep that lot are a joy to behold when they take the p.iss. Loud, obnoxious and prone to fighting I don't think this is what the Thai Tourist Authority want.

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27 minutes ago, idman said:

Hopefully they mean the Aussie who can actually see his toes and not his beer belly, wears cloths that have been washed at least once in a blue moon, foregoes the singlet and flip flop look, the numerous gold chains and of course the art work aka tattoos covering his arms and legs. Yep that lot are a joy to behold when they take the p.iss. Loud, obnoxious and prone to fighting I don't think this is what the Thai Tourist Authority want.

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And that's just the women

An entertaining and amusing topic lads. Some wonderfully colourful descriptions of Aussies,  by disillusioned expats in despair and denial that their country didn't get a mention in the OP.

 

Ho hum.

You are missing the subtlety of the message here and in reading in between the lines..

 

The statement calling for more Aussies has been made to please someone high above...very high above...I mean real high, who has had some close relations with Australia in the past....nothing more

7 hours ago, idman said:

Hopefully they mean the Aussie who can actually see his toes and not his beer belly, wears cloths that have been washed at least once in a blue moon, foregoes the singlet and flip flop look, the numerous gold chains and of course the art work aka tattoos covering his arms and legs. Yep that lot are a joy to behold when they take the p.iss. Loud, obnoxious and prone to fighting I don't think this is what the Thai Tourist Authority want.

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Now you definitely have us aussies wrong.  Aussies don't wear flip flops, that is American.  You would definitely get thonged if you referred an Aussies footwear as a flip flop.  Aussie men wear thongs and they come in a variety of colours for all occasions from casual to formal.  Getting your first pair of thongs means coming of age.  They are also great sports equipment.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sx2tS3SxOoo

 

3 hours ago, electric said:

An entertaining and amusing topic lads. Some wonderfully colourful descriptions of Aussies,  by disillusioned expats in despair and denial that their country didn't get a mention in the OP.

 

Ho hum.

We Aussies thrive on the banter, no one can bash the aussies like an Aussie as we are always hanging it on ourselves.  It's part of the knockabout aussie culture. 

having spent more than a little time in Oz, i can attest the local folks there are quite ok; better than the usual in the 40 years i spent in usa; the aussies abroad are quite the crew; wide orbits

Rolf Harris is Australian.

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At last, I am a quality tourist

It's cos Aussies are seen as dumb as shiiiit by Thais too. 

38 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

It's cos Aussies are seen as dumb as shiiiit by Thais too. 

What an inane post. 'cos'? please explain. Obviously not an Aussie. 

7 hours ago, roo860 said:

Rolf Harris is Australian.

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Of British decent, his parents were english and he has resided in England since 1950.  Unfortunately He missed out on a life of aussie culture.

3 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

It's cos Aussies are seen as dumb as shiiiit by Thais too. 

Really? I never heard that before, oh well she'll be right knackers at least we're happy 

Of British decent, his parents were english and he has resided in England since 1950.  Unfortunately He missed out on a life of aussie culture.

Pity he didn't stay 'down under'.

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On July 18, 2017 at 1:05 PM, Rc2702 said:

It's cos Aussies are seen as dumb as shiiiit by Thais too. 

Thais - in general - can't tell the difference between white people, so they must think we are all dumb. 

On 17/07/2017 at 0:24 PM, SABloke said:

Racist? 'Australian' isn't a race you drongo 

I said foreigners in Thailand magpie

On 7/19/2017 at 6:22 AM, Thechook said:

Of British decent, his parents were english and he has resided in England since 1950.  Unfortunately He missed out on a life of aussie culture.

"missed out on a life of Aussie Culture" 

 

Backyard pissups?

 

 

23 hours ago, ben2talk said:

"missed out on a life of Aussie Culture" 

 

Backyard pissups?

 

 

Yep backyard piss ups and backyard cricket, life doesn't get any better