Bar 'lady drink' etiquette?

[Paul Catton]

7 minutes ago, HooHaa said:

whose addage was that? george w bush?

 

dont you mean take a girl from the bar, but you cant take the bar from the girl?

 

 I believe the quote might have been attributable  to confined  "In Country" in the Reagan years. Do not distract and shoot a messenger.

Or fading memory, perhaps " Heart to Heart with Hillary.

Best wishes 

Paul

 

[jeab1980]

Knew quite a few hookers in GUZ (plymouth UK). All lovley girls. Seen many of them over the years happily married to friends of mine. Some know the were prostitutes some dont. 

I know quite a few bar girls (wont call them hookers or prositutes as some of them aren't)).

I also know several guys who have formed relationships with bar girls.. one has gone tits up due to the Mr wanting to be a butterfly.  One has run its course. The others are going strong.

Earlier I said i wont call them hookers or prositutes as some of them aren't. I can take you to several bars and introduce you to some young ladies, who will sit and talk to you accept drinks from you, but when 6pm comes they will say goodbye to you. They will not be bar fined for sex in any form. They are quite happy earning a wage and beer money and tips. 

Reading the comments by some sad sacks on here and some stuck up sad sacks. I feel really sorry for them. They have little or  no or a thai visa forum view, of life in Thailand and how one can indeed enjoy the company of women in a bar without paying or having sex just a good laugh.

[CG1 Blue]

18 hours ago, sanemax said:

Would anyone in their home Country , go to a prostitute bar, pay a girl to sit with them , and then say "Shes really nice, I think that she likes me"

    She likes me, so I will pay for her and her children and we will all live happily ever after

You can't compare. In most western countries a 'working' girl would be clock watching, pushing you to get down to business quickly, warning you if she spends more than the allocated 60 minutes you'll be charged the extra, etc. etc. Cold, impatient and business like. Or so I'm told...

Like it or not (and you clearly don't like it), the majority of Thai bar workers are warm and friendly, extremely patient and tolerant, and most would be open to a long term relationship with a good hearted farang. Also as others have said they can be very pleasant company if you just want a no strings chat over a few drinks (you don't see many guys with sad faces in those bars ). If you can deal with the fact they need to earn a living, then I don't see a problem.

 

That said, if you don't like that scene then you don't have to get involved.  You pay your money, you take your choice!

[jeab1980]

21 minutes ago, CG1 Blue said:

You can't compare. In most western countries a 'working' girl would be clock watching, pushing you to get down to business quickly, warning you if she spends more than the allocated 60 minutes you'll be charged the extra, etc. etc. Cold, impatient and business like. Or so I'm told...

Like it or not (and you clearly don't like it), the majority of Thai bar workers are warm and friendly, extremely patient and tolerant, and most would be open to a long term relationship with a good hearted farang. Also as others have said they can be very pleasant company if you just want a no strings chat over a few drinks (you don't see many guys with sad faces in those bars ). If you can deal with the fact they need to earn a living, then I don't see a problem.

 

That said, if you don't like that scene then you don't have to get involved.  You pay your money, you take your choice!

Well said its so easy dont like that scene dont go. 

[jeab1980]

19 hours ago, sanemax said:

Would anyone in their home Country , go to a prostitute bar, pay a girl to sit with them , and then say "Shes really nice, I think that she likes me"

    She likes me, so I will pay for her and her children and we will all live happily ever after

Absolute load of tosh. You cant possibly compare the two. Oh and if you can find a girl willing to marry or even like you in UK over 40 without rugrats, you would be a lucky man. But its ok to pay for there kids if you get into a relationship isnt it?

[Classic Ray]

Your 3000 baht bill is nothing. I remember in my youth, well in my fifties, having a great time in a bar off Sukhumvit, where I rang the bell, having been warned not to, and ended up with a bar bill for 7000 baht for buying everyone in the bar a drink. Hell of a night though!

[mogandave]

 
   I was referring to when you go out to a bar WITH someone . not too when you go to a bar on your own and pay someone to have a drink with you
    I would be quite happy to take a lady out for a meal/drink , but I would feel uncomfortable if the lady was on the restaurant menu 
     I have no desire to make friends with any bargirls in CM , as I live among them and see and know what they are really like, when they are not working
   I have no desire to have any prostitutes as friends
Its embarrassing to have prostitutes as so called friends
You lower yourself to the "desperate" category
 
 
 

And I would not live around people I would be friends with, whatever.

[dfdgfdfdgs]

 

23 hours ago, rogeroc said:

 

Sure in some places a lady will pay her own way for eating / drinking out but in most places in the world the man pays.

 

 

I think this is an attitude that's dying out in Thailand now, if it ever existed in the first place.  When I go out with a Thai, unless she's a student or a bar girl, 75% of them offer to pay half.

 

Obviously if you're 65 and dating 20 year olds the percentage will be much worse.

[dfdgfdfdgs]

20 hours ago, rogeroc said:

 

I do believe that in Thailand a lot of the girls working in bars are genuinely looking for a longer term relationship

 

That's why a lot of them go to to work there.  Their friend tells them it's a great way to meet somebody and make money at the same time, and it sounds like a great idea.  So off they go to Pattaya or BKK or Bangla Road.

 

Of course the ones looking for a relationship (which isn't all of them) won't be interested in a certain type of farang, and that's probably why those men disagree with the above quote, because in their bubble it never happens - the girls just aren't interested in them.

[jeab1980]

4 minutes ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

 

 

I think this is an attitude that's dying out in Thailand now, if it ever existed in the first place.  When I go out with a Thai, unless she's a student or a bar girl, 75% of them offer to pay half.

 

Obviously if you're 65 and dating 20 year olds the percentage will be much worse.

Well there you go another unless? Been out for a meal well BBQ to be exact 8 of us me the mrs and 6 girls who work the bars. We all stump up an equal amount when the bill is produced always, been that way for years now and im sure it always will be.

[dfdgfdfdgs]

10 hours ago, elgenon said:

They have devised means of survival.

 

They're like crocodiles, they feed of whatever morsel happens to come their way, because they don't know how many months until the next meal.  Crocodiles can survive for years without food, and months without fresh water.  Just waiting there.  Eyes resting on the bar top.  The rest of them submerged behind the counter.  Then Jonny comes in asking for directions to the post office and SNAP,  jaws clench shut with 5000 pounds of metric force before rows of razor sharp teeth tear wallet from clothing.

[dfdgfdfdgs]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Well said. Having met both loso and hiso women, I'll take a loso anytime, over a stuck up snob that thinks the sun shines ....................................

 

I agree and I think most of us think the same.  It sort of suits everyone.  The hi so girls don't really want us.  And we don't want them.  The lo-so girls want us and we want them too.  Partly because they're easier but I think mostly because they're more easy going, more fun and more real.

[mogandave]

They don't really pretend to like us any more than than we pretend to like them.

 

They really do like us when we're spending money, and we really do like them when...

 

 

[dfdgfdfdgs]

I'm not talking about bar girls, sorry that wasn't very clear.

[Johpa]

12 hours ago, elektrified said:

Little ability to judge the ladies? What is there to judge? If I wanted 'conversation' it would not be with a low-class sex worker in a bar. Most of these workers I've seen around C.M. are uneducated hill-tribes. How much conversation could you pay to have?

I have not been to a hostess bar in decades, the Karen Hut I references closed at least 25 years ago, But I had great conversations and lots of fun with the bar girls in Chiang Mai back in the 1980s.  I especially enjoyed the conversations around the pool in the afternoons at the Prince Hotel.  When in-country I still prefer conversations with lower economic class people in Thailand to the snooty and yet still relatively uneducated upper economic class hi-so posers.  And I see little difference in education levels between hill tribe folks and Thai folks. I meet few uneducated Thais, either in the lowlands or up in the highlands,  just poorly educated Thais as the public education system in Thailand is, to be polite, pathetic.  At least those who drop out of the public education system early have a better chance to gain some common sense.  You can encounter plenty of hill tribe folks at places like CMU and Payap.  Perhaps I should introduce you to my friend who heads a large department over at Payap who comes from the hills.

[rogeroc]

3 hours ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

 

 

I think this is an attitude that's dying out in Thailand now, if it ever existed in the first place.  When I go out with a Thai, unless she's a student or a bar girl, 75% of them offer to pay half.

 

Obviously if you're 65 and dating 20 year olds the percentage will be much worse.

Maybe it is my age then but knowing my income is much greater than theirs i would politely decline any offer. I am a retiree but even the basic UK state  pension (which i am far too young to receive yet) is at least twice a good salary in CM

[rogeroc]

3 hours ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

 

That's why a lot of them go to to work there.  Their friend tells them it's a great way to meet somebody and make money at the same time, and it sounds like a great idea.  So off they go to Pattaya or BKK or Bangla Road.

 

Of course the ones looking for a relationship (which isn't all of them) won't be interested in a certain type of farang, and that's probably why those men disagree with the above quote, because in their bubble it never happens - the girls just aren't interested in them.

I suspect you may really have 'hit the nail on the head' here. 

[CG1 Blue]

3 hours ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

 

That's why a lot of them go to to work there.  Their friend tells them it's a great way to meet somebody and make money at the same time, and it sounds like a great idea.  So off they go to Pattaya or BKK or Bangla Road.

 

Of course the ones looking for a relationship (which isn't all of them) won't be interested in a certain type of farang, and that's probably why those men disagree with the above quote, because in their bubble it never happens - the girls just aren't interested in them.

This is spot on, and precisely explains why opinion is split on this topic. I'd be bitter if I was in that bubble

[Khon Kaen Dave]

10 hours ago, HooHaa said:

you are being optimistic. try dipping a straw in that 3rd tequila shot. its likely water.

Not in my bar, my friend. I dont know what sort of bars you went to, but the ones in mine, were not that stupid.

[amexpat]

3 hours ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Not in my bar, my friend. I dont know what sort of bars you went to, but the ones in mine, were not that stupid.

I know some guys demand the girls get full shots of real alcohol.  Why?

 

You are paying for her time. The beverage is a token irrelevance.

 

There's probably not enough alcohol in the bar to make you handsome.

 

Many of the girls detest tequila and it is devastating to their health and appearance. Cute young things 

come into the bar scene and after weeks of drinks they don't look cute or young anymore.

 

When I (rarely) buy a drink I tell them I don't care what they order,  juice, water, tea, tequila, whatever.

 

[mogandave]

I know some guys demand the girls get full shots of real alcohol.  Why?
 
You are paying for her time. The beverage is a token irrelevance.
 
There's probably not enough alcohol in the bar to make you handsome.
 
Many of the girls detest tequila and it is devastating to their health and appearance. Cute young things 
come into the bar scene and after weeks of drinks they don't look cute or young anymore.
 
When I (rarely) buy a drink I tell them I don't care what they order,  juice, water, tea, tequila, whatever.
 

Yeah, I don't care what they drink, and I'd rather they're not drunk.

I understand buying the girls drinks if you're not taking them back to the room, but why bother spending money on drinks if you're going to take them out?

[jeab1980]

1 hour ago, amexpat said:

I know some guys demand the girls get full shots of real alcohol.  Why?

 

You are paying for her time. The beverage is a token irrelevance.

 

There's probably not enough alcohol in the bar to make you handsome.

 

Many of the girls detest tequila and it is devastating to their health and appearance. Cute young things 

come into the bar scene and after weeks of drinks they don't look cute or young anymore.

 

When I (rarely) buy a drink I tell them I don't care what they order,  juice, water, tea, tequila, whatever.

 

Maybe beacuse you are buying her a drink not her time. If i bought a drink for another farang in the bar who i just happened to talk to am i buying his time as well? And would it be acceptable for his alcholic drink he asked for to be water? 

[Bill97]

I always buy drinks for all the lady's I find in bars. Really not a big deal as there are so few true lady's around, it is always a pleasure to encounter them.

[amexpat]

2 hours ago, jeab1980 said:

Maybe beacuse you are buying her a drink not her time. If i bought a drink for another farang in the bar who i just happened to talk to am i buying his time as well? And would it be acceptable for his alcholic drink he asked for to be water? 

So you wouldn't mind if she accepted the drink and maybe gave you a wai from another table? 

 

For me, buying a drink for a male farang and buying a lady drink are entirely different. To each his own, I guess.

 

I still don't see why you care.  It's she, not you who will be drinking it. And it's not going to be more appreciated if it's 

something she doesn't want.  Suppose the farang doesn't drink alcohol. Do you want to use handcuffs and a funnel? 

 

 

[mogandave]

So you wouldn't mind if she accepted the drink and maybe gave you a wai from another table? 
 
For me, buying a drink for a male farang and buying a lady drink are entirely different. To each his own, I guess.
 
I still don't see why you care.  It's she, not you who will be drinking it. And it's not going to be more appreciated if it's 
something she doesn't want.  Suppose the farang doesn't drink alcohol. Do you want to use handcuffs and a funnel? 
 
 

And to be clear, if I'm buying a round for my "mates" good on anyone that orders water!

[stephenterry]

3 hours ago, amexpat said:

I know some guys demand the girls get full shots of real alcohol.  Why?

 

You are paying for her time. The beverage is a token irrelevance.

 

There's probably not enough alcohol in the bar to make you handsome.

 

Many of the girls detest tequila and it is devastating to their health and appearance. Cute young things 

come into the bar scene and after weeks of drinks they don't look cute or young anymore.

 

When I (rarely) buy a drink I tell them I don't care what they order,  juice, water, tea, tequila, whatever.

 

Yes, I mostly insist that the lady drink contains alcohol because paying 130 baht for a small orange, my particular pet hate, when I can buy a litre at Rimping for 45 baht is grotesque profit for the bar. Alcohol also loosens up the girl - much more fun getting merry together.      

[rogeroc]

5 hours ago, amexpat said:

I know some guys demand the girls get full shots of real alcohol.  Why?

 

You are paying for her time. The beverage is a token irrelevance.

 

There's probably not enough alcohol in the bar to make you handsome.

 

Many of the girls detest tequila and it is devastating to their health and appearance. Cute young things 

come into the bar scene and after weeks of drinks they don't look cute or young anymore.

 

When I (rarely) buy a drink I tell them I don't care what they order,  juice, water, tea, tequila, whatever.

 

 I am paying both for her time and for her drink (in most bars the cost of lady drinks will vary) , so it does matter what she is served. 

[jeab1980]

2 hours ago, amexpat said:

So you wouldn't mind if she accepted the drink and maybe gave you a wai from another table? 

 

For me, buying a drink for a male farang and buying a lady drink are entirely different. To each his own, I guess.

 

I still don't see why you care.  It's she, not you who will be drinking it. And it's not going to be more appreciated if it's 

something she doesn't want.  Suppose the farang doesn't drink alcohol. Do you want to use handcuffs and a funnel? 

 

 

I would not give a dam if after buying her a drink if she did infact move to another table or another male. I only bought her a drink plus they would leave the drink you bought then near you and keep coming back for a slurp and a chat. Read my post it says for the Alcholic drink he asked for.  Alcholic being the key word. If he asked for water or a soft drink no problem.

No diffrence at all buying a drink for anyone is buying a drink if you read the full thread you will see if i buy a drink for the girl its at normal price. Plus i was replying to a post about paying for her time.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, jeab1980 said:

Knew quite a few hookers in GUZ (plymouth UK). All lovley girls. Seen many of them over the years happily married to friends of mine. Some know the were prostitutes some dont. 

I know quite a few bar girls (wont call them hookers or prositutes as some of them aren't)).

I also know several guys who have formed relationships with bar girls.. one has gone tits up due to the Mr wanting to be a butterfly.  One has run its course. The others are going strong.

Earlier I said i wont call them hookers or prositutes as some of them aren't. I can take you to several bars and introduce you to some young ladies, who will sit and talk to you accept drinks from you, but when 6pm comes they will say goodbye to you. They will not be bar fined for sex in any form. They are quite happy earning a wage and beer money and tips. 

Reading the comments by some sad sacks on here and some stuck up sad sacks. I feel really sorry for them. They have little or  no or a thai visa forum view, of life in Thailand and how one can indeed enjoy the company of women in a bar without paying or having sex just a good laugh.

While there are definitely girls that will only have a drink and a chat without going with the customer, they should have a badge or some sort of identification as it's INCREDIBLY ANNOYING to buy a girl drinks and spend time with her to see if one likes her enough to take out, only to find she doesn't and one has to start over. Inevitably, the only other girl in the bar that one was interested in has by that time gone off with some other guy.

 

Trials and tribulations of monging.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, stephenterry said:

Yes, I mostly insist that the lady drink contains alcohol because paying 130 baht for a small orange, my particular pet hate, when I can buy a litre at Rimping for 45 baht is grotesque profit for the bar. Alcohol also loosens up the girl - much more fun getting merry together.      

You're paying for her time, not the drink.

The only reason I'd never want to be a bargirl is guys insisting I have to drink poison ( alcohol is poison, though not usually instantly fatal- it just takes a few years to kill one ).

 

PS, I have to add ignorant guys blowing cigar smoke in my face to the reasons I wouldn't want to be a bargirl.