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Bar 'lady drink' etiquette?


Adbro1

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3 hours ago, WinnieTheKhwai said:

 

Yes.. plus it's kind of how the system works.   If you appreciate it then you got to pay into it now and then.

 

It's amazing how much traction this topic got.. I thought almost everyone on Thaivisa had died, but it appears that's premature. ;)

Just use the words barlady or bargirl in the topic title and it will run forever.

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36 minutes ago, opalred said:

why are they not barmaids /?

Not the term used in Chiang Mai.  Bargirls or barladies are the women with a take-away option, a 'pretty' is a young women who usually works as a waitress but in some places (Oxide, Tong-Go) will sit and chat with a customer who buys her a lady-drink.  You can't bar-fine a pretty, and you aren't allowed to fondle; look but don't touch.  However you can turn on the charm, or the wallet, and try to arrange a meeting with a pretty when she isn't working, but it helps to speak a little Thai.  It's easy to find a pretty who is much prettier than the average bargirl, but it's difficult to find a pretty who speaks passable English.

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At one of my regular haunts the girls are waitresses, and do not sit with customers during their shifts. Buying drinks for them is optional and the price paid is the customer price. 

  

As they are cheerful, attentive (as in bringing a plate of nuts as freebies) and attractive, it's fine with me if I buy an occasional drink, and not expect anything in return.  

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13 hours ago, Ruffian Dick said:

Isn't the term "maiden" reserved for virgins? Don't know about you, but I can't afford one of those.

maiden
ˈmeɪd(ə)n/
noun
  1. 1.
    archaic
    an unmarried girl or young woman.
    "two knights fought to win the hand of a fair maiden"
  2. 2.
    CRICKET
    an over in which no runs are scored.
adjective
  1. 1.
    (of an older woman) unmarried.
    "a maiden aunt"
    synonyms: unmarried, spinster, unwed, unwedded, single, husbandless, spouseless, celibate
    "a maiden aunt"
  2. 2.
    being or involving the first attempt or act of its kind.
    "the Titanic's maiden voyage"
    synonyms: first, initial, inaugural, introductory, initiatory, proving
    "the maiden voyage of the Titanic"
     
    so if you were a young maiden on the titanic you were screwed not literally of course
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6 hours ago, stephenterry said:

At one of my regular haunts the girls are waitresses, and do not sit with customers during their shifts. Buying drinks for them is optional and the price paid is the customer price. 

  

As they are cheerful, attentive (as in bringing a plate of nuts as freebies) and attractive, it's fine with me if I buy an occasional drink, and not expect anything in return.  

image.jpeg.62802e4b7e018a9c9e4a361b369a3281.jpeg

 

Is this the bar?

 

https://www.facebook.com/nobarcnx/photos/pcb.1432821123467902/1432820943467920/?type=3&theater

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I like to buy drinks for the bargirls. Either go back to see the same one or go in blind.    Ideally we talk for maybe 2 hours, have 3-4 drinks, then I give her 100 baht tip. However, I often get rather mobbed by the other poor desperate girls in the bar, and then next time I have to find a new bar because I am known to be a soft touch and they will mob me every time. I also want the girl to at least flirt a little, if she is cold and distant I wont go back to her next time. 

Whenever I go to a new bar I grab a girl on the way in just half hazardly, and buy her a drink right away. I dont mind buying a drink for her quote sister later on.

The Loy Kroh and boxing area women are not making any money and are desperate these days. Many evenings they dont make anything, not even food money. I enjoy meeting them and helping them a bit with drinks and tip. Seems like a win-win to me.

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22 hours ago, huli said:

I like to buy drinks for the bargirls. Either go back to see the same one or go in blind.    Ideally we talk for maybe 2 hours, have 3-4 drinks, then I give her 100 baht tip. However, I often get rather mobbed by the other poor desperate girls in the bar, and then next time I have to find a new bar because I am known to be a soft touch and they will mob me every time. I also want the girl to at least flirt a little, if she is cold and distant I wont go back to her next time. 

Whenever I go to a new bar I grab a girl on the way in just half hazardly, and buy her a drink right away. I dont mind buying a drink for her quote sister later on.

The Loy Kroh and boxing area women are not making any money and are desperate these days. Many evenings they dont make anything, not even food money. I enjoy meeting them and helping them a bit with drinks and tip. Seems like a win-win to me.

 

I'm very similar, except I wouldn't buy a drink on the way in.  Would like one who's fun, sane and entertaining to talk to.  

 

Then again as the night goes on I'm getting less critical and the first word out of my mouth when someone approaches is 'Drink?' ?

 

11 hours ago, Adbro1 said:

So,do you guys think its a good idea to ring the bell or not? 

 

 

Sometimes.   Like when you're a little early, there are two or three girls in total, you order a drink that requires one of them to get on her bike to go buy it at 7-Eleven and JUST as she steps out you vigorously ring the bell.  Then say 'Ah sorry, you already left' when she turns around with a perplexed look on her face. :)

 

And then everyone gets a drink in the end of course.   But whiskey, tequila or beer only.   And no 'Tequila Rose' BS either. :)   Unless there's a legitimate excuse such as being pregnant.  ("Are you pregnant?   Oh.  Would you like to get pregnant?  Special price for you..?")

 

It's best not to take things too seriously. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, WinnieTheKhwai said:

 

I'm very similar, except I wouldn't buy a drink on the way in.  Would like one who's fun, sane and entertaining to talk to.  

 

Then again as the night goes on I'm getting less critical and the first word out of my mouth when someone approaches is 'Drink?' ?

 

 

Sometimes.   Like when you're a little early, there are two or three girls in total, you order a drink that requires one of them to get on her bike to go buy it at 7-Eleven and JUST as she steps out you vigorously ring the bell.  Then say 'Ah sorry, you already left' when she turns around with a perplexed look on her face. :)

 

And then everyone gets a drink in the end of course.   But whiskey, tequila or beer only.   And no 'Tequila Rose' BS either. :)   Unless there's a legitimate excuse such as being pregnant.  ("Are you pregnant?   Oh.  Would you like to get pregnant?  Special price for you..?")

 

It's best not to take things too seriously. 

 

 

I cannot find anything in the above quoted  post to take either seriously or to even make any sense!

 

Can anyone explain it?

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2 hours ago, heybruce said:

Yes, but if you want the young ladies to bring you food and drink, pour your beer and practice their English while you practice your Thai, all while showing a lot of leg and a little cleavage, a pretty bar is better.

An older Western  guy with young Asian Ladies using the excuse of "teaching English" , heard that many times before, usually in Court

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2 hours ago, heybruce said:

Yes, but if you want the young ladies to bring you food and drink, pour your beer and practice their English while you practice your Thai, all while showing a lot of leg and a little cleavage, a pretty bar is better.

 

11 minutes ago, sanemax said:

An older Western  guy with young Asian Ladies using the excuse of "teaching English" , heard that many times before, usually in Court

Perfectly legal so long as you don't touch.  Pretty bars are 'look but don't touch' places, I follow that rule.

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3 hours ago, heybruce said:

Yes, but if you want the young ladies to bring you food and drink, pour your beer and practice their English while you practice your Thai, all while showing a lot of leg and a little cleavage, a pretty bar is better.

Emphasis on "little". :ph34r:

BTW, how do you know you've wandered into a "pretty" (as opposed, I guess, to all the other types of bars)?

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1 hour ago, heybruce said:

 

Perfectly legal so long as you don't touch.  Pretty bars are 'look but don't touch' places, I follow that rule.

You can see more leg and cleavage from young ladies at swimming pools or beaches 

  You can even talk to them, but, they probably wouldnt want to 

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On ‎8‎/‎1‎/‎2017 at 6:18 PM, huli said:

I like to buy drinks for the bargirls. Either go back to see the same one or go in blind.    Ideally we talk for maybe 2 hours, have 3-4 drinks, then I give her 100 baht tip. However, I often get rather mobbed by the other poor desperate girls in the bar, and then next time I have to find a new bar because I am known to be a soft touch and they will mob me every time. I also want the girl to at least flirt a little, if she is cold and distant I wont go back to her next time. 

Whenever I go to a new bar I grab a girl on the way in just half hazardly, and buy her a drink right away. I dont mind buying a drink for her quote sister later on.

The Loy Kroh and boxing area women are not making any money and are desperate these days. Many evenings they dont make anything, not even food money. I enjoy meeting them and helping them a bit with drinks and tip. Seems like a win-win to me.

The Loy Kroh and boxing area women are not making any money and are desperate these days. Many evenings they dont make anything, not even food money

 

While that would probably be true, IMO it comes down to them. They just don't present an attractive environment that I am interested in.

Sitting around playing on their phones is not making me want to spend money in their bars.

While in the old days with lots of mongers it was only necessary to have a few stools, a pool table and booze, nowadays they have to try harder if they want customers.

Specifically in the boxing area, why should I have to pay to go in that area when I don't want to watch boxing. I can't be the only one, so the girls must be missing out on potential customers.

Also, keeping it so dark that one can barely see, is not a good idea, and having a better choice of music would help.

 

For the first time ever, I got offered a free night in exchange for food ( and a barfine ), so agree that they are desperate- many bars have few if any customers. Pity that I wasn't attracted to her.

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1 hour ago, Ruffian Dick said:

Emphasis on "little". :ph34r:

BTW, how do you know you've wandered into a "pretty" (as opposed, I guess, to all the other types of bars)?

The absence of "Hello hansum man" and hands-on attention. 

 

The service at a well run pretty bar (Oxide, No-Bar, Milk Club, etc.) is attentive, in fact it's much better than in most places, but involves no physical contact.  Prices are comparable to or a little higher than other Thai places, but better than tourist and ex-pat oriented places.  When I go out with friends I go to more, um, neutral places, but when I'm out on my own I find a pretty bar to be much more entertaining and cheaper than a bar full or tourists.

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1 hour ago, sanemax said:

You can see more leg and cleavage from young ladies at swimming pools or beaches 

  You can even talk to them, but, they probably wouldnt want to 

I'm not sure if you are arguing against going to places with pretty staff, or arguing in favor of going to places with pretty staff that allow physical contact.  If you were in the west, would you be arguing against Hooters restaurants, or in favor of more brothels?

 

I find abundant eye candy all over Chiang Mai, which is a good thing.  However when I'm out for food and drink I prefer the places with pretty women who serve me,  especially since the prices at the pretty places are competitive with other Thai places and better than tourist places.  If some people object to my preference it's not my problem.

 

BTW, if you know of places with genuinely pretty staff, as opposed to beer-goggle pretty staff, that allow physical contact, I'm sure some people following this topic would be interested in learning more.  To my knowledge the only places with genuinely pretty staff are the look but don't touch places.

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17 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

The Loy Kroh and boxing area women are not making any money and are desperate these days. Many evenings they dont make anything, not even food money

 

While that would probably be true, IMO it comes down to them. They just don't present an attractive environment that I am interested in.

Sitting around playing on their phones is not making me want to spend money in their bars.

While in the old days with lots of mongers it was only necessary to have a few stools, a pool table and booze, nowadays they have to try harder if they want customers.

Specifically in the boxing area, why should I have to pay to go in that area when I don't want to watch boxing. I can't be the only one, so the girls must be missing out on potential customers.

Also, keeping it so dark that one can barely see, is not a good idea, and having a better choice of music would help.

 

For the first time ever, I got offered a free night in exchange for food ( and a barfine ), so agree that they are desperate- many bars have few if any customers. Pity that I wasn't attracted to her.

How times have changed in that area , 5-7 years ago, every night there was an electric mix of people in bars . Tourists ,backpackers,  ex-pats, sex pats , bargirls and non bar girls , all having a drink together , playing pool and then all going off to Spicy or Zoe in the early hours , some even got to Lucky bar for a drink in the morning , hardcore even getting a chang from 7/11 at 11 AM

   These days , bars have the occasional sex tourist .offering to buy a girl a drink for a feel of their breasts with maybe the possibility of a short time 

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9 minutes ago, heybruce said:

BTW, if you know of places with genuinely pretty staff, as opposed to beer-goggle pretty staff, that allow physical contact, I'm sure some people following this topic would be interested in learning more.  To my knowledge the only places with genuinely pretty staff are the look but don't touch places.

I tend to go out to eat and drink with friends,  both male and female and Thai and felang , really unconcerned about whether the waitress is pretty, showing a bit of leg or breast , just prefer her to understand what food and drink was ordered

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25 minutes ago, sanemax said:

How times have changed in that area , 5-7 years ago, every night there was an electric mix of people in bars . Tourists ,backpackers,  ex-pats, sex pats , bargirls and non bar girls , all having a drink together , playing pool and then all going off to Spicy or Zoe in the early hours , some even got to Lucky bar for a drink in the morning , hardcore even getting a chang from 7/11 at 11 AM

   These days , bars have the occasional sex tourist .offering to buy a girl a drink for a feel of their breasts with maybe the possibility of a short time 

 

11 minutes ago, sanemax said:

I tend to go out to eat and drink with friends,  both male and female and Thai and felang , really unconcerned about whether the waitress is pretty, showing a bit of leg or breast , just prefer her to understand what food and drink was ordered

Times have changed, haven't they?

 

When I'm out with friends, male and female, Thai and, well, they're mostly Thai, I notice when the waitresses are pretty, as does the rest of my group (even the women, the group sometimes includes one or two lesbians). 

 

My friends don't object to my fondness for pretty women so long as I behave myself.  I always do, I'm a well-behaved dirty old man.  With the possible exception of some TV members, nobody seems to mind.  The pretties don't object, I have a tendency to tip moderately generously (hand tip of 100 baht) when they get me cheerfully drunk.

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So I guess the Tip Top bar in Haiya is a "pretty bar". One pool table, one or two ladies (one was a knockout). Moderate pressure to buy them drinks, but I wasn't called hansum (at least no more than usual). :shock1:

 

I wound up going to Huay Tung Tao with the two of them the next day.

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14 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

For the first time ever, I got offered a free night in exchange for food ( and a barfine ), so agree that they are desperate- many bars have few if any customers. Pity that I wasn't attracted to her.

That is an incredibly sad situation for her to be in, to be offering herself to you in exchange for food and a barfine. I think I would've had to help her in some way if that was me.  But then I am a bit of a soft touch :saai:

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I think if i limit myself to buying 1 lady drink per night i'll be ok.

It's highly unlikely i will be looking to bar fine a girl,so 1 lady drink for some lucky girl and my conscience is clear and my wallet is fat :)

 

Slight tangent......The standard/quality of the bar girls in Chiang Mai is really quite poor.Many old,plump girls that i assume can't hack it down south.

Surely if someone is visiting Thailand for the girls they would stay in Pattaya(never been myself) not Chiang Mai?

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