Helping the wife - why keep a dog and bark yourself - what do you think .

[murraynz]

i think some thai woman actually like doing all the work,to "take care" of their man.but it is very "old school" and selfish to expect them to be a mans servant...perhaps some men think having a "servant" is part payment for whatever finance he provides.

[nikmar]

I walk to my favourite chair, ice cold beer in hand.

 

Me, before I sit: Is there anything you need me for, Love, before I make myself comfy.

 

Mrs Nikmar: No thanks, Teerak, you relax.

 

I sit down, beer by my side, put my feet up, pick up book and relax.

 

Mrs Nikmar: Could you take this to the lady across the road / bring the washing in / take the rubbish out / feed the cat / kill this cockroach etc....

 

Me to Police: I dont know where she is Officer!!

[tonray]

11 minutes ago, murraynz said:

i think some thai woman actually like doing all the work,to "take care" of their man.but it is very "old school" and selfish to expect them to be a mans servant...perhaps some men think having a "servant" is part payment for whatever finance he provides.

That sounds like one of the Internet Ads for Thai dating sites.

[electric]

28 minutes ago, tonray said:

Sheesh man...your hopeless ! 

 

Apparently   

 

You been talking with my missus ??

 

My wife is incredibly houseproud, and is totally content doing the housekeeping thingy.

 

I'm ok with her insisting on hanging out the washing. She has a cute bum, so I'm content to just perve. Moreso, now that I've raised the washing line 2 feet higher so she has to reach.

 

Only kidding.

 

I still do all the "bloke" things traditionally expected of us guys, like fix stuff, move heavy stuff around, washing cars/motorcys, opening my wallet etc

 

Works for us. We're happy.

 

[Muhendis]

No comments yet about ironing. My sweetheart tells me she's OK doing the ironing but always seems to get one of the kids in the village in to do it on the pretext of giving them some practice. I don't do much around the house but outside I keep myself occupied by keeping the various systems working and the farm running smoothly. House work for the management is quickly done leaving her plenty of time to swap notes with friends and cousins in the village.

The OP story is, to me, quite horrifying. Phrases like "Lazy old toad" come to mind.

[4MyEgo]

Lets get one thing clear here, I am a male chauvinist and proud of it when it comes to home duties/chores if you like, i.e. if the wife is not bringing in money to the house, therefore she needs to contribute, so I see her household duties/chores as equal to me bringing in the bacon/$.

 

When I was single, I would look after things myself quite easily too.

 

This has been the case for 10 years since we married, even now in my retirement years I could choose to do nothing and just live off my investments, but I do like to keep an active role in them, so my time is in front of a screen while the stock market is open, right up to closing time.

 

The wife is happy to do her house hold duties/chores when she feels like it, no pressure from me, as long as the house is kept reasonably clean, the kids fed, bathed and dressed, I am good with it, although she spends a lot of time in her garden, and that's ok, because I know how to break balls when I need lunch or a coffee 555

 

I do make the Mrs a cuppa and put in a couple of slices of bread in the toaster for her as she struggles to get out of bed of a morning. I also drive the kids to and from school, 25 kilometres each way, and I do take her grocery shopping.

 

Like I said she is under no pressure to perform any tasks/duties for me, but she knows, if I run out of fresh underwear, I will have to borrow hers, and the last time that happened, she couldn't stop laughing because it appears that I had put on her G string back the front, no, not inside out, back the front, and I was wondering why all my wiggly bits were hanging out, suffice to say I can't understand why women pay so much for something that doesn't have anywhere near the material male underwear has, and we pay far less for ours.

 

If I invited you into our house and you started on about the way you did with the Xpat you mentioned, you would be disrespecting me and my wife in our own home, and I guarantee you she would serve it to you right between the eyes in front of your wife.

 

To be quite blank, its non of your bloody business to ask such a question in front of a man's wife.

 

You sound like a bloody trouble maker, if your happy doing what makes you happy, then keep doing it, and for F sake, don't talk sheeet in front of blokes wives.

 

Reminds me of a time my cousin tried to open the car door for my wife once when I refused his request, i.e. I said that's what remotes are for cuz, with him shaking his head and trying to open the car door for my wife, to show her that he was a gentle preek, with her politely looking at him and saying, thank you but no thank you, I have hands, much to his disappointment (slam dunk), so best keep your nose out of a married couples business, because its got nothing to do with you.

 

I could say you and others here who see your way are soft C's but I won't, each to their own, but don't be sticking your nose in my business.

[Billy Bloggs]

I like to do stuff around the house but get looks of what are you doing, we shop together for the stuff I like and staples and she shops alone for her stuff mostly. At the farm it is a bit of 50/50 work then if she thinks I look tired I will be benched, only stuff I get to do by myself is the brushcutting as no one is allowed to use my machine after it was run with no oil for a short time as they had always had 2 strokes and oil requirement was an alien concept.

But I could not sit on my fat arse and expect to be waited on, even if I do call her my waitress at times.

[Bluespunk]

5 hours ago, Once Bitten said:

Could he in some small way have a valid point 

No. 

[4MyEgo]

2 minutes ago, Bluespunk said:

No. 

Yes

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, petermik said:

He,s just an idle slob sorry.......he doesn,t want a wife just a servant

Division of labour. He laboured long to buy his wife a nice home and all she needs, she does the housework. Seems fair to me.

 

I did a lot around the house as I wanted to make my environment better and it kept me busy, but I never considered that I should be an equal in the housework, when she contributed nothing other than herself.

Mind you, when she asked me to do the plumbing on her, and her sister's 5 houses I did it and for nothing. Even paid for the hardware. Same when I wired up 2 houses for her. Both contribute, but in different ways.

[catman20]

5 hours ago, bert bloggs said:

I always help my wife , i sit there and give her loads of encourgment . why i even made her a cold drink earlier as she was sweating a lot .

[Bluespunk]

7 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Yes

No. 

[thaibeachlovers]

32 minutes ago, Muhendis said:

No comments yet about ironing. My sweetheart tells me she's OK doing the ironing but always seems to get one of the kids in the village in to do it on the pretext of giving them some practice. I don't do much around the house but outside I keep myself occupied by keeping the various systems working and the farm running smoothly. House work for the management is quickly done leaving her plenty of time to swap notes with friends and cousins in the village.

The OP story is, to me, quite horrifying. Phrases like "Lazy old toad" come to mind.

I refuse to iron anything except a work uniform. My wife wanted me ironed when we went out- no problem as long as she did it.

As for the OP, it's no body's business except the wife's. She didn't have to marry him.

[Pilotman]

No, he hasn't got a valid point, he;s a selfish dick head living in the past, when slavery was legal. . 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, Kadilo said:

As long as everyone is happy as you say. What I find uncomfortable is when I've seen men ordering their women around to fetch and carry when they clearly do not look happy and they then appear to change from maids to slaves.


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

Then said women should not have married said men.

[goonnerone]

6 hours ago, petermik said:

He,s just an idle slob sorry.......he doesn,t want a wife just a servant

And you sir it seems no nothing about Thai culture otherwise you would not be coming out with such asinine statements 

[Pilotman]

5 hours ago, robblok said:

Any relationship is different as long as the wife is happy there is no problem.

 

I have seen it often usually with older expats where the wife is a slave (in a way) does all the work while the guy does nothing. I have lived alone in the past so i know how to cook and clean and do so if I have time (actually almost always cook for myself). 

 

It really depends... if the guy is retired and does nothing and the wife does all the work its a bit strange. Though if i were  to move to  a house with a big garden I would tell the GF there are 2 options.. i either concrete the lot of it or you do the garden (i hate gardening)

she will be happy with it until she isn't and then. when she leaves  the selfish slob, he will cry in his beer. bleat to his mates and post on TV .  bemoaning untrustworthy  Thai woman.  The guy is clearly a loser.  

[Pilotman]

1 minute ago, goonnerone said:

And you sir it seems no nothing about Thai culture otherwise you would not be coming out with such asinine statements 

and you would know the difference between 'know' and 'no'. 

[goonnerone]

3 hours ago, Crossy said:

I am not permitted to assist Wifey around the house or garden unless she asks. Usually the "fetch xyz from the high shelf" type thing (cleaning is waay out of bounds), of course she always asks when I'm halfway through doing something vital, like posting on TV.

 

She also thinks I'm completely barmy to do anything DIY, "we can pay Mr Pqr to do that". Fact is I enjoy a bit of DIY and, truth be known, she gets a kick out of responding to "where did you buy that picnic table [or whatever]" with "hubby made it", which is often closely followed by "ooh, can he make me one?".

 

That is the same as my wife she often wonders why I do DIY round the house when we can pay someone but takes great pleasure in telling everyone that he husband can do it. She also ban me from doing any house work like cleaning and the garden is her domain she loves it, she said it would be disrespectful if her friends seen me doing housework as it would mean she is unable to look after her husband. farang who come out with statements about ohh he is just lazy or want a slave just fail to understand Thai mentality 

[goonnerone]

8 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

and you would know the difference between 'know' and 'no'. 

And you fail to understand what a fallacy is and would rather attack the the persons spelling mistakes that the agument. so sad just like your last comment sir

[scorecard]

3 hours ago, Crossy said:

I am not permitted to assist Wifey around the house or garden unless she asks. Usually the "fetch xyz from the high shelf" type thing (cleaning is waay out of bounds), of course she always asks when I'm halfway through doing something vital, like posting on TV.

 

She also thinks I'm completely barmy to do anything DIY, "we can pay Mr Pqr to do that". Fact is I enjoy a bit of DIY and, truth be known, she gets a kick out of responding to "where did you buy that picnic table [or whatever]" with "hubby made it", which is often closely followed by "ooh, can he make me one?".

 

 

You enjoy a bit of DIY, so do I, but not allowed.

 

Why? Because the family (mostly meaning the outer family) believe the neighbors will think we are poor and can't afford someone to come and fix things. Garden is another example. A few months back I got shooed into the house when my son's visiting Thai MIL discovered I was washing the car in full view of the neighbors.

 

Takes all kinds.

[seajae]

mate, my wife wants to do everything for me but I always do what I can to help, the thought of her doing everything for me just doesnt sit right plus as a tradie I like to do things myself anyway. You marry someone because you love them, not so they can be a slave for you and be at your beck and call, sharing the work is part of being a couple.  Sounds more like a lazy bastard than anything else, feel sorry for his wife, he probably came here just for that reason, couldnt find anyone willing to do it for him in his own country, pretty pathetic

Edited October 27, 2017 by seajae

[Kadilo]

21 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Then said women should not have married said men.

I guess it depends on whether it was like that at the beginning. If it wasn't then she is probably in a difficult situation. 

[thaibeachlovers]

24 minutes ago, scorecard said:

 

You enjoy a bit of DIY, so do I, but not allowed.

 

Why? Because the family (mostly meaning the outer family) believe the neighbors will think we are poor and can't afford someone to come and fix things. Garden is another example. A few months back I got shooed into the house when my son's visiting Thai MIL discovered I was washing the car in full view of the neighbors.

 

Takes all kinds.

My wife didn't like me doing work on the road outside our house because people would think I was a "Burma".

Didn't put her off asking me to put up a sunshade over the tables outside ( dead end road ) so she could have somewhere to eat outside.

In the end, I just waited for her to go to work before I did anything.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

I guess it depends on whether it was like that at the beginning. If it wasn't then she is probably in a difficult situation. 

In my experience, men don't change, but women do. I'm pickin' they were happy enough at the start and then they weren't, but he didn't want to change ( and why should he? ). 

[BTB1977]

I got the clothes washer loaded last night. Gave her 2 glasses of wine. 

[sipi]

I leave the toilet seat up and she ties my undies in a knot.

[AlexRich]

The expat in question has used his funds to buy his wife a beautiful house in the village and perhaps she wants to show her gratitude by taking good care of him ... if he's much older than she is she will also likely inherit any remaining funds that will secure her future. As long as they enjoy each other's company and get on well their relationship sounds okay to me. It looks to me as if everyone involved is happy with that arrangement. Each to their own.

[bazza73]

My GF would be aghast if I tried to help her with household chores. The few times I have tried, I am repelled with a cry of " I can do!!" ringing in my ears.

I am, however, the Chief screwtop Jar and Bottle opener.

[hellstens]

She doesn't let me do anything if it not broken or she can't fix or reach something hight

And if I do, she redo it anyway so I give up :) 

She says I take care of her, so she will take good care of me.

But I help her with anything heavy.

She more happy if she does it her self :)

Edited October 27, 2017 by hellstens