Thai exgf demanding money from me in china

[thesetat2013]

i need some advice.. i am a american teaching in China.. i bought and paid for tickets to have my gf come visit me in China. We had a falling out and i decided to break up and send her home early. At the airport, she refused to leave and demanded i give her more money. i had paid her visa and flights and at the airport gave her 2100 yuan/10000 baht.  She stood at the entrance to baggage check before immigration refusing to leave until i gave her more money.. this would not have been an issue but most of her time here was spent sleeping and being angry at me and ignoring me. 

i had promised her i would give her 15000 monthly to help her family as ling as we are together. She is not a bar girl or prostitute for those who want to compare and criticize. 

she finally decided to go through the baggage check.. 

i begin to wonder if she can make a problem for me with immigration when i return to Thailand. Perhaps lie to them to make a problem for me. i hold a retirement visa there and travel to Thailand quite often and stay there. 

Does anyone have any helpful advice about this. 

serious replies only.. 

 

[overherebc]

Just ignore the whole thing and her.

Many of them state this 'I can make trouble for you' etc etc.

Change your phone number and don't make any more contact.

[BritTim]

If you teach in Thailand on a retirement extension or Non-OA visa, and she is vindictive enough, you might face problems. Otherwise, as suggested above, just cease all contact.

 

She may claim not to be a prostitute, but her actions suggest otherwise. If she is young and attractive, she will have another catch soon enough. You will be forgotten.

[ubonjoe]

A inflammatory post and the resulting replies to it have been removed.

 

Just move on and forget about her. Immigration would pay not attention if she went to them.

 

[NickJ]

I wouldn't sweat it. As long as nobody in her family is a Thai IO. Just cease contact. 

[darrendsd]

OP without sounding rude she will maybe huff and puff for a while then forget about you and move on to the next "boyfriend"

 

 

[tubby johnson]

As per the advice above: change your phone nr, and block her on social media.

 

Soon she'll move on and repeat her gold-digging histrionics with another boyfriend.

 

She could take revenge by telling a bunch of lies to the police and immigration, but you can deal with it when the time comes.

[overherebc]

10 minutes ago, tubby johnson said:

As per the advice above: change your phone nr, and block her on social media.

 

Soon she'll move on and repeat her gold-digging histrionics with another boyfriend.

 

She could take revenge by telling a bunch of lies to the police and immigration, but you can deal with it when the time comes.

The police and Imm' won't pay any attention to her100%

[baansgr]

There was a recent case of a guy being arrested on entry as his ex had reported him for posting naked pics on fb. In reality, almost every Thai thinks they are mafia/connected as they know someone that knows someone. What would your crime be.... You didnt take care of an ex girlfriend family. 

[JackThompson]

6 hours ago, thesetat2013 said:

i had promised her i would give her 15000 monthly to help her family as ling as we are together.

If by "together" - you include while she was living with you in Thailand, that would be the root of the problem.  She was already getting free-rent and food while living with you in Thailand, yes?  That is enough.  She is Thai, and can legally work here to support her family - especially when aided by your free room-and-board.  If she doesn't expect to have to work, at all, that is a red-flag, generally.

 

OTOH, if a long-term relationship, I could see paying rent and a food-stipend, if temporarily working-abroad for a few months, so she could continue with the same lifestyle as when you were living in Thailand with her.  In theory (hopefully), she would be waiting for you, upon your return.  Maybe this was your 15K?  About 8K would have been plenty for this (depending on residence-area).  But, in any case, it is not something she has "a right" to demand of you.  You haven't broken any laws.

[overherebc]

13 minutes ago, baansgr said:

There was a recent case of a guy being arrested on entry as his ex had reported him for posting naked pics on fb. In reality, almost every Thai thinks they are mafia/connected as they know someone that knows someone. What would your crime be.... You didnt take care of an ex girlfriend family. 

Not quite the same thing though as posting those images breaks a couple of laws in Thailand.

Don't believe there's a law against breaking up with your girlfriend and breaking off contact.

[FritsSikkink]

"she refused to leave"

Who cares let her alone at the airport and go home alone.

 

Don't worry about any issues in Thailand.

[thesetat2013]

6 hours ago, ubonjoe said:

A inflammatory post and the resulting replies to it have been removed.

 

Just move on and forget about her. Immigration would pay not attention if she went to them.

 

yes i was thinking the same thing. 

the only thing I did was break it up and in truth she got more money than was suggested by me for being here only a couple weeks instead of a whole month.. 

i do appreciate everyone's replies. i needed other opinions. 

[thesetat2013]

37 minutes ago, JackThompson said:

If by "together" - you include while she was living with you in Thailand, that would be the root of the problem.  She was already getting free-rent and food while living with you in Thailand, yes?  That is enough.  She is Thai, and can legally work here to support her family - especially when aided by your free room-and-board.  If she doesn't expect to have to work, at all, that is a red-flag, generally.

 

OTOH, if a long-term relationship, I could see paying rent and a food-stipend, if temporarily working-abroad for a few months, so she could continue with the same lifestyle as when you were living in Thailand with her.  In theory (hopefully), she would be waiting for you, upon your return.  Maybe this was your 15K?  About 8K would have been plenty for this (depending on residence-area).  But, in any case, it is not something she has "a right" to demand of you.  You haven't broken any laws.

you misunderstood. she came to me here in china.. lived in my home for a couple weeks until i couldn't take it anymore and sent her home. 

We never live together in thailand. 

[richard_smith237]

She was with you because you paid her... she’s was with you for the money...
if that’s not prostitution what is it?

Apologies if that seem harsh, but that’s the harsh reality.

She demanded more money from you proving even more so that this was only about money, turn around and walk away, she has enough money to get home, the rest is on her.




Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[Scouse123]

Immigration are far too busy for her nonsense nor would they be interested in a silly domestic, besides, you have done nothing illegal, she would be a laughing stock.

 

I would change my phone number, Too many don't. If you are having this now, imagine a little further down the line. Walk away!

[samsensam]

 

a quick question, would she have been with you if you hadn't paid her to be with you?

 

if the answer is no then you were paying her to be with you which is exactly what prostitutes do.

 

i'd be extremely surprised if she made a problem for you with immigration unless she knows something about you which could cause you a problem. to be honest immigration have better things to unless she has hard evidence.

 

and if you want to avoid such situations in future find someone who wants to be with you because they actually have feelings for you, enjoy being with you and maybe even love you, not simply because you are paying them and/or their family.

 

 

 

 

[buick]

54 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

She was with you because you paid her... she’s was with you for the money...
if that’s not prostitution what is it?

 

i'm sure i'm in the minority here but keep this in mind as a data point.  i met my GF of 10 yrs in a restaurant.  after two years, i told her to quit and i'd pay for her to live.  the reason being, i don't work and i wanted to spend more than a couple hours a day with her. plus be able to travel, etc.. not be bound by a working schedule. also, the wages here are so low that it doesn't make sense to work if you've already got the money. 

[NanLaew]

Got to love those that totally miss the point of the OP and get in a froth about prostitutes.

 

The OP was only wondering if she could make a problem for him with Thai Immigration and probably has little interest in proselytizing, lonely guys on an internet forum.

 

As stated by others less inclined to moralize, unfriend, delete, disconnect, ignore, block, etc.. Burn that bridge and totally sink it.

 

FWIW, If it was one of my slappers that pulled that sh!t on me at a foreign airport, I would have kept my cash in my pocket, walked away and let the local cops deal with her hissy fit.

[tonray]

5 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

FWIW, If it was one of my slappers that pulled that sh!t on me at a foreign airport, I would have kept my cash in my pocket, walked away and let the local cops deal with her hissy fit.

That would have been the way to deal with it but it would seem he feels some guilt for something not detailed in the story and the payoff was meant to clear his guilt at least in his own mind.  Years ago had a girlfriend who refused to leave my property, warned her that if she did not go the police would be called... 15 minutes later they dragged her out in cuffs because she hit one of them as he calmly asked her to stand up and leave. Some girls just need a dose of reality. 

[NanLaew]

48 minutes ago, buick said:

 

i'm sure i'm in the minority here but keep this in mind as a data point.  i met my GF of 10 yrs in a restaurant.  after two years, i told her to quit and i'd pay for her to live.  the reason being, i don't work and i wanted to spend more than a couple hours a day with her. plus be able to travel, etc.. not be bound by a working schedule. also, the wages here are so low that it doesn't make sense to work if you've already got the money. 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with perpetuating the myth of the magical farang money tree. Nothing at all.

 

...as long as you have a money tree of course.

[JackThompson]

1 hour ago, buick said:

... i met my GF of 10 yrs in a restaurant.  after two years, i told her to quit and i'd pay for her to live.  ...

IMO - important part of that sentence, "After Two Years."  Generally, by that point, the facades have fallen away - both those we construct in our own minds idealizing the other, and the ones the other constructs, consciously or sub-consciously, to "be appealing" (we all do this, to some extent).  Once you both know who you are "really dealing with," it's another set of choices.

 

So many foreigners offer monthly-stipends to ladies before they even know them in-person - or after only a short time here in Thailand.  Many gals have multiple "boyfriends" in multiple countries paying them monthly.  In some twisted-sense, given the state of relationships in the West, it could be said that the dream/illusion, "I have a girlfriend in Thailand" (or Philippines, etc), is a fair-exchange for the money. 

 

Bummer, though, if when you actually meet them, they don't even pretend to be nice for a few weeks.

[BritTim]

2 hours ago, buick said:

 

i'm sure i'm in the minority here but keep this in mind as a data point.  i met my GF of 10 yrs in a restaurant.  after two years, i told her to quit and i'd pay for her to live.  the reason being, i don't work and i wanted to spend more than a couple hours a day with her. plus be able to travel, etc.. not be bound by a working schedule. also, the wages here are so low that it doesn't make sense to work if you've already got the money. 

I am sometimes a cynic, but have an open mind over Thai-farang relationships. There are plenty that are based on solid mutual affection.

 

Indeed, the fact that the OP agreed to provide 15,000 baht a month while the girl was out of Thailand and therefore not working, can be perfectly reasonable if the girl has family responsibilities to deal with (though 15,000 might be high). It was her other behavior that made me pretty sure the girl is not one I would try to maintain contact with..

[MaeJoMTB]

Rule 1

Never truck you gf around the world with you, plenty of new gfs at your destination.

They may not be any cheaper than your existing gf, but at least you've saved on air fares, and they can speak the local language.

[MaeJoMTB]

2 hours ago, buick said:

 

i'm sure i'm in the minority here but keep this in mind as a data point.  i met my GF of 10 yrs in a restaurant.  after two years, i told her to quit and i'd pay for her to live.  the reason being, i don't work and i wanted to spend more than a couple hours a day with her. plus be able to travel, etc.. not be bound by a working schedule. also, the wages here are so low that it doesn't make sense to work if you've already got the money. 

But them not having a job does give them time to plot all sorts of trouble

[MaeJoMTB]

24 minutes ago, BritTim said:

I am sometimes a cynic, but have an open mind over Thai-farang relationships. There are plenty that are based on solid mutual affection.

 

I'm sure there are, but I've never had one, nor seen any other foreigner have one.

(And I've been married to a Thai lady for 8 years)

[darrendsd]

2 hours ago, NanLaew said:

There's absolutely nothing wrong with perpetuating the myth of the magical farang money tree. Nothing at all.

 

...as long as you have a money tree of course.

Money tree, or as Thais call you, farang buffalo 

[thesetat2013]

3 hours ago, tonray said:

That would have been the way to deal with it but it would seem he feels some guilt for something not detailed in the story and the payoff was meant to clear his guilt at least in his own mind.  Years ago had a girlfriend who refused to leave my property, warned her that if she did not go the police would be called... 15 minutes later they dragged her out in cuffs because she hit one of them as he calmly asked her to stand up and leave. Some girls just need a dose of reality. 

if i feel any guilt it is because she drove me to the point to send her home and i i did not accompany her back. i am not accustomed to dumping a girl and taking her to the airport then her refusing to leave unless i give her more... 

i know i had no responsibilities for her after i dumped other than flying her home.. but there is a moral responsibility many here don't think about.. 

my only concern was can she make a problem for me when i return to Thailand again.. 

she doesn't have my thai phone number..  we always use internet calling via an app.. 

so I am not concerned with that.   

she does possess an scan of my passport though.  

 

[MaeJoMTB]

40 minutes ago, thesetat2013 said:

she does possess an scan of my passport though.  

Always a mistake, I just tell them my name is 'John' and they usually tell me their name is 'Noi'.

 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

5 hours ago, buick said:

 

i'm sure i'm in the minority here but keep this in mind as a data point.  i met my GF of 10 yrs in a restaurant.  after two years, i told her to quit and i'd pay for her to live. 

 

That's crazy. I wave my wife off every morning and have a day to myself.

 

Off to work you go. Buh bye