Advice for Thai couples as divorce rate soars

[webfact]

Advice for couples as divorce rate soars

By The Nation

 

More than a third the number of Thai couples who registered their marriage in 2016 got divorced the same year.

Mental Health Department director general Squadron Leader Boonruang Triruangworawat said on Monday that 118,539 couples divorced last year.

 

The percentage of divorces among new marriages rose to 39 per cent from 27 per cent in 2006, he said, warning of the effect divorces can have on the mental health of the children affected.

 

Boonruang acknowledged that couples and families commonly endure pressure stemming from work-related stress and factors of social and economic status.

 

He encouraged spouses to communicate positively with one another in dealing with such factors and avoid using words “that will hurt feelings or cause your partner to lose their tempers”. Doing so “can turn a minor problem into a big deal”.

 

Spouses should, for example, avoid telling each other to shut up or to leave the house, and mustn’t blame recurring problems on each other, make accusations of infidelity, or accuse one another of being a long-term failure.

 

Boonruang also advised married people to avoid raising their voices and using coarse language with one another. “And don’t attack your partners’ relatives!”

 

He said a spouse should end an argument the moment he or she realises they’ve become angry.

 

“Take time to calm down and then start talking again to find a solution,” he said.

 

Source: http://www.nationmultimedia.com/detail/breakingnews/30333666

 

-- © Copyright The Nation 2017-12-11

[tonray]

46 minutes ago, webfact said:

Spouses should, for example, avoid telling each other to shut up or to leave the house, and mustn’t blame recurring problems on each other, make accusations of infidelity, or accuse one another of being a long-term failure.

 

Boonruang also advised married people to avoid raising their voices and using coarse language with one another. “And don’t attack your partners’ relatives!”

 

Saving Face Tip # 947

 

Anytime you are angry say :                      Mai Bpen Rai

Anytime you have an issue to discuss:    Mai Bpen Rai

Bills to Pay ?                                                Mai Bpen Rai

Cheating Hubby ?                                        Mai Bpen rai

Wife brings Home KFC instead of cooks ? Get the Lawyer !

 

 

Edited December 11, 2017 by tonray

[PatOngo]

Getting divorced is much better than getting shot!

[MarkusAUST]

46 minutes ago, webfact said:

He said a spouse should end an argument the moment he or she realises they’ve become angry.

That will cut arguments down to about three seconds then if this advice is dutifully followed.

[tonray]

1 minute ago, MarkusAUST said:

That will cut arguments down to about three seconds then if this advice is dutifully followed.

Most Thai men blow their stacks after 2 seconds so no worries.....short fuses are the reason they cannot have a real argument

[yellowboat]

Stress is bad for any relationship and Thailand is a stressful to make a living and to live happily, especially now.

[ramrod711]

Boonruang acknowledged that couples and families commonly endure pressure stemming from work-related stress and factors of social and economic status.

 

Pressure from family as well, my wife's cousin is married to a nurse, a very nice woman and a good mother to their two children. Her mother is constantly pressuring her to leave her husband for a farang so that she can send money home and ensure a large dowry for mama. Her husband told her if you want to leave, go but my sons aren't going anywhere. To break up her daughters family for money, shameful.

[tonray]

25 minutes ago, yellowboat said:

Stress is bad for any relationship and Thailand is a stressful to make a living and to live happily, especially now.

Try doing it in America and see how easy it is without free health care, real estate prices in the stratosphere unless you want to live in Section 8 Welfare housing with crack addicts, and daily school shooters. Thailand is not that bad.

[Krataiboy]

That's what happens when children are allowed to marry.

[AlexRich]

Another good reason not to marry a Thai lady ... with 33% divorcing within the year it's really a meaningless institution ... girlfriend only, suitcase at the ready, is the way to go! 

[MaeJoMTB]

21 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

Another good reason not to marry a Thai lady ... with 33% divorcing within the year it's really a meaningless institution ... girlfriend only, suitcase at the ready, is the way to go! 

I agreed to marry my Thai woman after knowing her 1 week, 1 more week for negotiations and a test drive, after the 3rd week we were married. 9 years later and we can't work out why our marriage worked and everyone else's has failed.

Edited December 11, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[tonray]

22 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

Another good reason not to marry a Thai lady ... with 33% divorcing within the year it's really a meaningless institution ... girlfriend only, suitcase at the ready, is the way to go! 

I'm fairly sure those stats are likely greatly skewed towards Thai/Thai marriages so your reason not really a good one.

[atyclb]

belgium divorce rate 70% but dont think that is within first year. 

[coulson]

Don't get married job done.

[spidermike007]

Boonruang acknowledged that couples and families commonly endure pressure stemming from work-related stress and factors of social and economic status.

 

He encouraged spouses to communicate positively with one another in dealing with such factors and avoid using words “that will hurt feelings or cause your partner to lose their tempers”. Doing so “can turn a minor problem into a big deal”.

 

Spouses should, for example, avoid telling each other to shut up or to leave the house, and mustn’t blame recurring problems on each other, make accusations of infidelity, or accuse one another of being a long-term failure.

 

Boonruang also advised married people to avoid raising their voices and using coarse language with one another. “And don’t attack your partners’ relatives!”

 

This guy is a genius! Wow. He has it all figured out. Actually, I believe the major reasons for divorce here are the practice of face, (the single greatest act of cowardice a person can commit) the fact that most men here have very low self esteem, and the lack of ability to admit blame, for problems you have caused. Own it, and do something about it. Hiding your head in the sand never solved a thing.

 

Lastly, many Thai women tell me that alot of Thai men do not have a romantic bone in their bodies, rarely if ever are they affectionate, drink too much, smoke too much, and are not particularly adoring to them. Could that be an issue?

Edited December 11, 2017 by spidermike007

[ZAKY]

2 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

I agreed to marry my Thai woman after knowing her 1 week, 1 more week for negotiations and a test drive, after the 3rd week we were married. 9 years later and we can't work out why our marriage worked and everyone else's has failed.

Wait for another 3 years and see

[over2you]

3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

I agreed to marry my Thai woman after knowing her 1 week, 1 more week for negotiations and a test drive, after the 3rd week we were married. 9 years later and we can't work out why our marriage worked and everyone else's has failed.

The law of averages is the law that a particular outcome or event is inevitable or certain simply because it is statistically possible. Depending on context or application it can be considered a valid common-sense observation or a misunderstanding of probability.

I think that you have both been very lucky.

Good luck with your marriage. 

[jimmyaaa]

how does ' buddism' feel about divorce ? its ok , not ok ? ill have to look it up.....

[observer90210]

So looks that is not only farangs who get dumped by their Thai beauties (when the piggy bank is empty)....it happens also to the locals !!!

 

Looks that globalisation and "modernisation" has finally caught up with Thailand !!!....very soon the Thai ladies dynamics, that did attract most of us, will be no better or worse,  then the dynamics of the average western female that made most of us initially avoid them !!...of course cannot generalize on either side, but looks like it's catching up here.

 

 

[Happyman58]

3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

I agreed to marry my Thai woman after knowing her 1 week, 1 more week for negotiations and a test drive, after the 3rd week we were married. 9 years later and we can't work out why our marriage worked and everyone else's has failed.

I have a 53 year old wife Married for 3 years now  She keeps fit, looks good, great cook, spoils me rotten, dresses nice, Has good business, washes my back, Loves sex, Has any one of you other readers have that problem like i do ?

[over2you]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

Lastly, many Thai women tell me that alot of Thai men do not have a romantic bone in their bodies, rarely if ever are they affectionate, drink too much, smoke too much, and are not particularly adoring to them. Could that be an issue?

Edited 1 hour ago by spidermike007

And who is it who makes/teaches Thai males to think, believe, act in the way they do?

Thai women - Mothers. 

[jimmyaaa]

1 minute ago, observer90210 said:

So looks that is not only farangs who get dumped by their Thai beauties (when the piggy bank is empty)....it happens also to the locals !!!

 

Looks that globalisation and "modernisation" has finally caught up with Thailand !!!....very soon the Thai ladies dynamics, that did attract most of us, will be no better or worse,  then the dynamics of the average western female that made most of us initially avoid them !!...of course cannot generalize on either side, but looks like it's catching up here.

 

 

after wandering around asia the last several years , it looks to me things are heading that way . Facebook and social media 24/7 telling women to quit being victims , dont need a man , alone is wonderful , blah blah . Many asian women admire western women and culture from afar ( sadly enough) .....had another thai girl tell me how great anjolie jolie , is , looks , ect....the end is near !!

[observer90210]

3 minutes ago, jimmyaaa said:

after wandering around asia the last several years , it looks to me things are heading that way . Facebook and social media 24/7 telling women to quit being victims , dont need a man , alone is wonderful , blah blah . Many asian women admire western women and culture from afar ( sadly enough) .....had another thai girl tell me how great anjolie jolie , is , looks , ect....the end is near !!

yup !!...looks that we will have to finally learn how to cook !!!

[AlexRich]

5 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

I agreed to marry my Thai woman after knowing her 1 week, 1 more week for negotiations and a test drive, after the 3rd week we were married. 9 years later and we can't work out why our marriage worked and everyone else's has failed.

You are very lucky ... lol. You both drove a clown car into a gold mine.

[AlexRich]

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Boonruang acknowledged that couples and families commonly endure pressure stemming from work-related stress and factors of social and economic status.

 

He encouraged spouses to communicate positively with one another in dealing with such factors and avoid using words “that will hurt feelings or cause your partner to lose their tempers”. Doing so “can turn a minor problem into a big deal”.

 

Spouses should, for example, avoid telling each other to shut up or to leave the house, and mustn’t blame recurring problems on each other, make accusations of infidelity, or accuse one another of being a long-term failure.

 

Boonruang also advised married people to avoid raising their voices and using coarse language with one another. “And don’t attack your partners’ relatives!”

 

This guy is a genius! Wow. He has it all figured out. Actually, I believe the major reasons for divorce here are the practice of face, (the single greatest act of cowardice a person can commit) the fact that most men here have very low self esteem, and the lack of ability to admit blame, for problems you have caused. Own it, and do something about it. Hiding your head in the sand never solved a thing.

 

Lastly, many Thai women tell me that alot of Thai men do not have a romantic bone in their bodies, rarely if ever are they affectionate, drink too much, smoke too much, and are not particularly adoring to them. Could that be an issue?

He might as well have advised to get a frontal lobotomy and do what you’re told ... the key to a successful relationship.

[MaeJoMTB]

2 hours ago, observer90210 said:

yup !!...looks that we will have to finally learn how to cook !!!

I'm more than happy to cook everything by myself, and I'm always trying out new stuff.

It's having sex on my own that I'm not so keen about.

[Bluespunk]

8 hours ago, webfact said:

More than a third the number of Thai couples who registered their marriage in 2016 got divorced the same year.

Really?

 

A third?

 

That seems like rather a lot.

Edited December 11, 2017 by Bluespunk

[madusa]

In fact divorce is a healthy thing that happened in any society. Why? Because marriage is a very very artificial arrangement in society, so if people are truthful they go for divorce rather than pretend the marriage is working and created lots and lots of misery. For what? The society doesn't accept it, well <deleted> the society then. You should follow your heart, otherwise where the hell is happiness going to come from?

After your divorce why be miserable, go get marry again, no harm at all, if you feel lonely by all means marry again and again if necessary. That would be good for everyone.

My parents thought for children sake they didn't want to divorce, but they created lots of misery and some psychological damage for the children too.

If a society does stupid thing it doesn't mean you have to be stupid like them. It's like when Bush said, "Go get yourself killed in Iraq" you don't have to listen to him do you?

The Pope says no? just tell him not to wnnk too much.

 

[lindlake]

8 hours ago, Happyman58 said:

I have a 53 year old wife Married for 3 years now  She keeps fit, looks good, great cook, spoils me rotten, dresses nice, Has good business, washes my back, Loves sex, Has any one of you other readers have that problem like i do ?

yes i have the same problem . been marry 13 years only knew her for 4 days before i marry her. love it 

[davehowden]

10 hours ago, Happyman58 said:

I have a 53 year old wife Married for 3 years now  She keeps fit, looks good, great cook, spoils me rotten, dresses nice, Has good business, washes my back, Loves sex, Has any one of you other readers have that problem like i do ?

She was the same when I was married to her, 555.