45 minutes ago, lensta said:

Not that I have any intention of falling off the perch any time soon, but  I am also wondering

about the cost of the cremation. I am non religious and want non of the usual bs.

Die - burn - end of story. Does anyone have any idea if it can be done and the cost

involved?

It can, BUT your wife/partner and her family will do it their way no matter what instructions you give.

On 12/27/2017 at 12:43 PM, steven100 said:

It is the gathering for 3 days after for food, drink etc ... that is the cost,   however ... correct me if I'm wrong but don't the attendees to the funeral provide an envelope with 1,000 baht inside which should cover the costs   ???

Steven ole lad, where on earth did you get that figure from?

I have been involved in a couple of funerals here, never seen more than 400 baht in an envelope.

Here extended family 400 baht, friends 2-300 baht, villagers anything from 20 baht upwards.

move to Cambodia,

GF's mother died last year,  $150 for food an drinks,   $10 for 3 monks, $10 for wood and they burned her in the backyard and picked thru the ashes for the bones to be kept.

13 minutes ago, phuketrichard said:

move to Cambodia,

GF's mother died last year,  $150 for food an drinks,   $10 for 3 monks, $10 for wood and they burned her in the backyard and picked thru the ashes for the bones to be kept.

Thats the way to do it. Now only if I could convince the Mrs to do the same for me when the time comes.

39 minutes ago, prakhonchai nick said:

It can, BUT your wife/partner and her family will do it their way no matter what instructions you give.

Actually, the one thing that I did find out is that unless your marriage is registered at the Tessabaan, your partner

has no say in it. So in my case it would be my daughter in Australia that would make the decision.

On 27/12/2017 at 10:09 AM, phuketrichard said:

how long ago was that? friend just died last week,for everything including cremation and monks 120,000 baht
here's the US embassy info page,,,https://th.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/death-of-a-u-s-citizen/ would assume for a thai it would be much easier./cheaper. If I  were u, i'd let the thai side handle everything. as anytime a Farang is involved  all of a sudden the costs go up

 

I have bought a charity cremation certificate from my local Temple that will be used to cremate a pauper for 800 bht. 

2 hours ago, Jaggg88 said:

I have bought a charity cremation certificate from my local Temple that will be used to cremate a pauper for 800 bht. 

will that work for a Farang?

When my dear elder brother died I just quietly arranged with the funeral shop to have the cremation done. No monk no nothing, my brother wouldn't like monk hanging around his cadaver. My elder brother and me we were buddy very close just like good friends. I knew exactly how he would have wanted his cremation to be done so I did what he wanted though he didn't tell me before he died.

It was good his friends were not there because I would have shouted at one or two of them who owed him money.  I would have said something like, "what the fvvk you doing here, go get lost you needn't pay him back any money now, aren't you happy?"

I could never understand what society is up to when they expect so much money to be spent on a funeral.

My dear old brother is dead you understand ?Why don't you be more kind to him when he was alive and now you want to attend his funeral, go get the fvvk out of here. No kind words during a funeral is a faux pas, so I had to keep it quiet and get it done with only 2 other family members.

This post reminds me of the situation when someone is dead he is dead so just cremated or bury and don't make the living suffer. The society is stupid you don't have to follow them and become stupid as well.

 

12 hours ago, KhunMhee said:

I wonder then if it's about paying respect to the deceased or just a reason to have a weekend outing. Doubt if surveyed many would answer. I guess tradition is tradition though and death and proper send offs are a big part of society here as well.

IMO a social occasion. When my MIL was cremated, there were loads more people from the area than ever came to visit her when she was alive.

When her dad passed away none of the 5 brothers/sisters contributed one satang because they have nothing. Even then that is not acceptable. I paid 70k for all of it, we got a few thousand bath from the envelopes.
Every week a guy on a motorbike stops at my gate to ask money, 10B, sometimes 20B, once 50B. When asked why they come to ask small money my wife answers for funeral.


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

When my stepson died, I was so depressed that I let the family handle the funeral.

My step son was the best son one could possibly have....Unlike the rest of the family.

Big mistake!

BiL is the local puyai and works for the big local temple.

I was told - the stars you know - that our son could only be burried after a 8 days eat & drink fest.

Monks from other temples were invited, they came by taxi.

My wife, I, and wife of deceased paid 100.000 each for the Bil's face. That's 300.000 + more money for the 100 day party.

I have told my wife that for myself I want a simple cremation by the forest monks that live next door to us, but I am sure Bil is not going to let that happen.

If my wife dies first, I will leave 30.000 behind and disappear, let Bil sort things out.

 

As an other poster asked: How do they finance these funeral parties if there is no farang around to pay the bill?

And they have the nerve to call themselves buddhists.

 

 

 

 

Well , what some good advice and many thanks to you all . One thing that I did not mention , partners father in & out of hospital and suffering in pain in his bedroom alone . His wife even went to the casino on 2 consecutive days saying he is OK . He cannot eat food , only drink a little soup and often sick . There has not been many visitors to see him 2 or 3 at the most . His other daughter has not been there and the son although only 30 minutes away , was there 1 week ago . I lost my temper which I rarely do and shouted that the family do not take care and that he should be in hospital in ICU .That night the wife stayed with him and nursed him out of embarrassment I think . The next day was when my partner told me she was scared as the family could not afford to pay for the cremation and that it will cost 200-250,000 baht followed by many tears . I told her I was disgusted with the way the family treated the father who was dying from cancer and in pain and the time to spend money was now in the ICU and morphine injections and not consider the funeral at this time . I decided to go away for a few days alone and now I have received pictures of the father in hospital , however the alarm bells are still ringing ref; the cremation bill , maybe time to get out of Dodge as there have been other mentions of money for other causes despite the fact that partner receives good support from me .  

9 minutes ago, superal said:

Well , what some good advice and many thanks to you all . One thing that I did not mention , partners father in & out of hospital and suffering in pain in his bedroom alone . His wife even went to the casino on 2 consecutive days saying he is OK . He cannot eat food , only drink a little soup and often sick . There has not been many visitors to see him 2 or 3 at the most . His other daughter has not been there and the son although only 30 minutes away , was there 1 week ago . I lost my temper which I rarely do and shouted that the family do not take care and that he should be in hospital in ICU .That night the wife stayed with him and nursed him out of embarrassment I think . The next day was when my partner told me she was scared as the family could not afford to pay for the cremation and that it will cost 200-250,000 baht followed by many tears . I told her I was disgusted with the way the family treated the father who was dying from cancer and in pain and the time to spend money was now in the ICU and morphine injections and not consider the funeral at this time . I decided to go away for a few days alone and now I have received pictures of the father in hospital , however the alarm bells are still ringing ref; the cremation bill , maybe time to get out of Dodge as there have been other mentions of money for other causes despite the fact that partner receives good support from me .  

When things seem fishy it's likely because they are. Follow your gut feeling and remember the question lots asked in posts. If you were not there how would they pay? Either time to make a move on as you suggested or to gather the family and discuss this in a group. The later will likely make people feel un easy as they will feel pressure on future planning. Ask the figured cost. Then if its 200K plus offer to pay what you are comfortable with paying. If the reaction is poor to this go back to the first plan of leaving. Either way don't let people pressure you into doing what you don't feel you must. Wish you the best man.

11 minutes ago, superal said:

Well , what some good advice and many thanks to you all . One thing that I did not mention , partners father in & out of hospital and suffering in pain in his bedroom alone . His wife even went to the casino on 2 consecutive days saying he is OK . He cannot eat food , only drink a little soup and often sick . There has not been many visitors to see him 2 or 3 at the most . His other daughter has not been there and the son although only 30 minutes away , was there 1 week ago . I lost my temper which I rarely do and shouted that the family do not take care and that he should be in hospital in ICU .That night the wife stayed with him and nursed him out of embarrassment I think . The next day was when my partner told me she was scared as the family could not afford to pay for the cremation and that it will cost 200-250,000 baht followed by many tears . I told her I was disgusted with the way the family treated the father who was dying from cancer and in pain and the time to spend money was now in the ICU and morphine injections and not consider the funeral at this time . I decided to go away for a few days alone and now I have received pictures of the father in hospital , however the alarm bells are still ringing ref; the cremation bill , maybe time to get out of Dodge as there have been other mentions of money for other causes despite the fact that partner receives good support from me .  

Are there no forest monks in your neighbourhood?

Or talk with different "regular" wats? Bring a translator that you trust.

And you should not give in on the max 3 day for the funeral, whatever the stars might alledgedly  say. And no alcohol! Local alcohol is not expensive, but it keeps "mourners" stay & eat longer. After all, it is not a booze up but a funeral!

And do not trust anyone with the envelopes... perhaps outsmarten them with a (locked) donation box, of which you - as the sponsor - have the key? Tell them that is so much easier and practical.

After my experience with the funeral of my step son I became rather cynical in these matters - maybe the family is abusing the death of father to get money to pay their debts? And even if it is only for face, it is their face, so they should pay for it.

Good luck - it won't be easy.

 

 

Just to share as well.

My wife was from Korat.  When her mom died 2-3 years back, I gave around 150,000 and that is on top of the village fund and insurance.  Cant remember how much I paid for 100 day event. 

Then last year, my kid died (at Korat), I paid around 200,000 plus and that is on top of the village fund (without insurance).  The 100 day event, I paid around 100,000.

Last month, my wife died (at Korat), I paid around 50,000 bht (I supposed its on top of the village fund).  Havent paid for 100 day as bank acct is dried. 

 

That was my experience and we are not a well off family, so is my wife family.  On hindsight, it seem extravagant...but I wasn't there to monitor the expenses as I have to look for the money at somewhere else.

.  

 

Cheapest  Burn 30,000B no Party........Bangkok, I think any temple.....2018

On 12/26/2017 at 11:25 PM, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Well if their own children could not be arsed to arrange for their parents funeral it is pretty clear where the respect lies in this picture.

 

It's ok...a mug can open his wallet. No biggie

what does the feelings of the family re their mother and their finances have to do with his feelings of respect for his partner?

 

On 12/27/2017 at 7:37 PM, shackleton said:

We have just had the funeral of my Thai brother in law 

at the local village Temple 

the total cost was about 100000 baht this included food for the people attending every evening over the 5 days 

plus money for the monks flowers and costs for the Temple electric water ect 

Depending on how big the temple and people attending costs will vary

I was gonna say: I think 80,000 to 100,000 should handle everything quite nicely.

 

if there's no one around does the local wat do a simple cremation for free?
what happens to my body if nobody's around?

On 12/28/2017 at 4:51 PM, prakhonchai nick said:

Local gang warfare is common, with shootings and injuries at a recent event in my locale. That is no way to respect the dead!

 

I think I'd give your village/Mooban a wide berth.

 

22 minutes ago, Dick Crank said:

if there's no one around does the local wat do a simple cremation for free?
what happens to my body if nobody's around?

 

Isn't there some service that simply disposes of corpses?

wife told me at the wat you only need to pay for the burning, anything else is extra at your expense. The cost of the gas for the burning is a few thousand baht according to her so it really depends on how cheap you want to go

1 hour ago, seajae said:

wife told me at the wat you only need to pay for the burning, anything else is extra at your expense. The cost of the gas for the burning is a few thousand baht according to her so it really depends on how cheap you want to go

What do they do with the ashes if nobody is around to collect?

recent funeral costs for wife:

 

80000 for everything at the wat incl food for the village for 3 days, monks fees and cremation...

 

40000 for the 100 day party at home incl food prepared at home, monks fees and sound system...

 

a few hundred for 2 monks to chant at the riverside with the ashes, etc...

 

all food preparation by family and friends from the village...

 

 

 

7 hours ago, tutsiwarrior said:

recent funeral costs for wife:

You are saying this is what the wife paid for a recent funeral?

32 minutes ago, lopburi3 said:

You are saying this is what the wife paid for a recent funeral?

 

unfortunately my wife died suddenly a few months ago and the money is what her daughter asked me for the associated funeral expenses...she probably raked a bit off the top but generally speaking she's a capable girl...I couldn't have handled it on my own anyway...grief, shock and etc, I'm too old for this shit...

 

 

51 minutes ago, tutsiwarrior said:

 

unfortunately my wife died suddenly a few months ago and the money is what her daughter asked me for the associated funeral expenses...she probably raked a bit off the top but generally speaking she's a capable girl...I couldn't have handled it on my own anyway...grief, shock and etc, I'm too old for this shit...

 

 

Missed the information and very sorry to hear that news - are you still living in Thailand, working, or traveling in region?   Wish you and family the best.  Can't imagine Tutsi too old.

40 minutes ago, lopburi3 said:

Missed the information and very sorry to hear that news - are you still living in Thailand, working, or traveling in region?   Wish you and family the best.  Can't imagine Tutsi too old.

 

thanks for the condolence, lop...I'm retired at home with the wife's family, MiL daughter and 2 grandkids, I've been here for 15 years and I'm comfortable...ain't got nowhere else to go anyway...