Thai girl affair: a story about pragmatism VS naivety&jealousy... for how long?

[heybuz]

20 hours ago, Damrongsak said:

I met my wife and her sister in a market in Loei 40 years ago.  Eventually hired her to do my laundry, and she was good at it.  I had to laugh at "  +She was (mostly, though not 100%) reluctant to physical affection during daylight. "  Hell, we still don't do that, even at night.  But the house is clean and she is a helluva cook and puts up with me.  Maybe that's Thailand 1.0 behavior.  Good luck to the OP.

i think iv'e found her sister

[BobbyL]

13 hours ago, Berkshire said:

 

 

A long distance relationship with these kind of girls is almost impossible. 

Absolutely. That is the crux of it. 

 

If you're here it is easy to try and control for you and her. Not a chance it can be done with only meeting a few times a year. 

 

 

[geisha]

thaibeachlovers, have to laugh at that . I don’t think you’ve ever had any thing to do with nice Thai girls ! Also, I’m sure I’ve been a much longer time here than yourself and do not restrict myself to foreign or Thai parts of town/ Thailand. 

[Hupaponics]

6 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

Clearly this butterfly has a range of FB profiles. Thai profiles and farang. 

Very likely indeed. However, it's pretty easy to find out her other accounts. 

 

Go to gf's frend list on FB, find her roommate. Now check roommate's friend list. 

All accounts should be listed there;). If not, go another friends frend list. 

 

I have done this myself with interesting results 555

[zaZa9]

"I don’t think she’s likely to have an overseas sponsor because (except when she was with Jim) she's always been widely available for me every single day, "

 

How does she achieve that with a full time job?

Most employees here have to commit to 10 hour days , 60 hours a week.

 

Any guy coming over here and being met by a Thai lady at any time on any date should ask the same question.

I do , however disagree that somebody gainfully employed in foreign exchange would get 10k a month. The real figure is double that with bonuses etc.

But those sort of jobs also require strong commitment - Im not sure somebody who parties 3 or 4 nights a week till late , and takes time off randomly , can hold down a job with a bank.

If thats the case , where is her money coming from ?

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, The white Rider said:

I agree 90% with you... in fact, she's always complaining about her dark skin and "praising" my white skin...

But anyway... if she doesn't love me... why was she crying a river whenever I was leaving? Is it so easy to fake tears?
This would be a good discussion too, guys. What do you think?

You don't know why she was crying. You only assume it was because of you.

My wife cried a monsoon when our hamsters died.

Once we were married, she stopped crying when I went back to make money.

Face the fact, you don't know what makes her tick now, and never will. You won't even understand women in your own country. No man will ever understand women, and visa versa. We only know what they want us to know.

 

From "secret garden" by Bruce Springsteen. He knew the score.

 

She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
Then she'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away

 

True story. A female colleague was having an affair with a married man, and told us at work that he was going to leave his wife and marry her. I told her that he was lying, only having her for sex, and would not leave his wife. She said I was wrong because she understood men.

Time passed and I was right.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, Hupaponics said:

Very likely indeed. However, it's pretty easy to find out her other accounts. 

 

Go to gf's frend list on FB, find her roommate. Now check roommate's friend list. 

All accounts should be listed there;). If not, go another friends frend list. 

 

I have done this myself with interesting results 555

Damn, I'm so glad I don't have anything on Facebonk.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, geisha said:

thaibeachlovers, have to laugh at that . I don’t think you’ve ever had any thing to do with nice Thai girls ! Also, I’m sure I’ve been a much longer time here than yourself and do not restrict myself to foreign or Thai parts of town/ Thailand. 

Actually, most of the Thai "girlfriends" I've had have been lovely women, and I enjoyed their company immensely. Nothing in my life before ever came close to the pleasure of living on an amazing beach in LOS with a beautiful woman to wake up next to every morning.

 

[Hupaponics]

9 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Damn, I'm so glad I don't have anything on Facebonk.

Me neither, ditched that crap years ago:)

 

Just wanted to give a tip how to easily check out if a GF have multiple accounts. 

[thaibeachlovers]

10 hours ago, catman20 said:

i would not put up with that sort of crap, if a woman/child started all that crying with me id be the one walking out and she could choose to stay there or come with me. 

i would of dumped her before she started spending my money on lots of food shes not going to eat and then leave. maybe you should try to make better choices with women and not children. ive said this 4 or 5 times to women over the years and its never had the effect that you experienced. she should respect you and YOUR money. she was not a keeper 

Unlike you, apparently, I actually am capable of liking a woman enough not to dump her over a few baht, crying or not.

 

Who said anything about a "keeper"?

[catman20]

15 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Unlike you, apparently, I actually am capable of liking a woman enough not to dump her over a few baht, crying or not.

 

Who said anything about a "keeper"?

door Matt comes to mind. i said she not a keeper and she wasn't right?  

[The white Rider]

7 hours ago, Hupaponics said:

Very likely indeed. However, it's pretty easy to find out her other accounts. 

 

Go to gf's frend list on FB, find her roommate. Now check roommate's friend list. 

All accounts should be listed there;). If not, go another friends frend list. 

 

I have done this myself with interesting results 555

Good advice! I've already done it before.
I've come to believe that she hasn't any adittional FB account, I did a quite deep search some weeks ago, before booking my second flight. 

- I searched her name (using both alphabets)
- I searched her nickname (both alphabets again)
- I combined name and nickname.
- I checked likes in posts and pics.
- I checked several friends friend lists (friends I know she usually hangs out with)

Nothing was found. Her friends have only her main account, the one I know... 
 

[The white Rider]

4 hours ago, zaZa9 said:

How does she achieve that with a full time job?

Most employees here have to commit to 10 hour days , 60 hours a week.

 

Any guy coming over here and being met by a Thai lady at any time on any date should ask the same question.

I do , however disagree that somebody gainfully employed in foreign exchange would get 10k a month. The real figure is double that with bonuses etc.

But those sort of jobs also require strong commitment - Im not sure somebody who parties 3 or 4 nights a week till late , and takes time off randomly , can hold down a job with a bank.

If thats the case , where is her money coming from ?

Her working day is mostly 8h, either morning or afternoon, sometimes both (16h). As far as I know, she usually takes one day off, sometimes 2 after 4-5 working days. We have a lot of videocalls when she's in the office, there's no doubt about her job. I said she parties 2-3 times a week because when she is working in the afternoon she oftenly goes out the previous night since she doesn't need to wake up early in the morning.

Holidays... She has /at least) 8 per year. She may use 2days off+4holiday in a row+2days off. That's what she've been doing so far when we meet.

Somebody correct me if I'm wrong...

Edited February 1, 2018 by The white Rider

[retiredusn]

Where does she find the time too work??

[The white Rider]

5 minutes ago, retiredusn said:

Where does she find the time too work??

She has a "very relaxed" job, man, they work in couples attending customers. She may be taking passports and money and still, she doesn't hang up a call. Other times it's just idle time... since there are no customers.

[todlad]

We had a very similar love story not too long ago and we see the same pattern. European who seems to be doing ok for himself meets a Thai girl who easily falls in lust. Forget Jim, this Spaniard is besotted with lust and she plays on his mind daily. She teases. She displays herself in the ways we can find in Pattaya, Phuket and like places.

 

After two weeks or so of physical contact, the Spaniard thinks about moving to Samui.

 

Let me ask what others are asking too: are you mental? You found a whole cupboard full of red flags but bingo, ignored them all.

 

Your statements about reading all about Thai girls, about how you can't be fooled and about Facebook pages are all water. Drip drip drip.

 

Senorita sounds a much safer bet to me.

[The white Rider]

12 hours ago, todlad said:

We had a very similar love story not too long ago and we see the same pattern. European who seems to be doing ok for himself meets a Thai girl who easily falls in lust. Forget Jim, this Spaniard is besotted with lust and she plays on his mind daily. She teases. She displays herself in the ways we can find in Pattaya, Phuket and like places.

 

After two weeks or so of physical contact, the Spaniard thinks about moving to Samui.

 

Let me ask what others are asking too: are you mental? You found a whole cupboard full of red flags but bingo, ignored them all.

 

Your statements about reading all about Thai girls, about how you can't be fooled and about Facebook pages are all water. Drip drip drip.

 

Senorita sounds a much safer bet to me.

Can't deny that your post sounds pretty blunt and I appreciate that honest feedback. Is there any link to that similar love story? If so, would be helpful for me to be posted here.

This said, real experiences from others (that lived something similar) are the most valuable to me. And (if at all) moving to Samui for 1-3 months (since that's what I'm allowed via tourist VISA) to try out, is not a "real-risk decision" in my case. Of course, that's a personal fact...

[todlad]

6 minutes ago, The white Rider said:

Can't deny that your post sounds pretty blunt and I appreciate that honest feedback. Is there any link to that similar love story? If so, would be helpful for me to be posted here.

This said, real experiences from others (that lived something similar) are the most valuable to me. And (if at all) moving to Samui for 1-3 months (since that's what I'm allowed via tourist VISA) to try out, is not a "real-risk decision" in my case. Of course, that's a personal fact...

Sorry but I was born and brought up in a place where being blunt is normal. It helps sometimes since it is clear where we stand. I never intend to cause offence and have been known to apologise if I have.

 

By the way, there are many of us on TV who have done what you are talking about but with one big difference. Yes, I know I took a risk doing what I did but I did not fall for the first girl I met and I did not consider moving in with her, even for a trial period after only a very brief period together. In the end, my first real prospect here turned out to be a chancer: I don't know how many men took refuge with her but I withheld my trust for the best part of three years as I worked away and came here frequently until I thought I knew everything. At the 11th hour I learned about Michael ... and Lewis and others. A bit like your friend Jim!

 

You seem to have said what I kept saying to this woman: only you and only me. But when I learned that I was the date on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and "spending time with her mother" on Tuesday, Thursday and the weekend turned out to be boning sessions with Michael, I left her immediately. No questions asked. No other chances.

 

I recommend you do the same: 1 to 3 months with this one could be heavenly but trusting her is a fantasy from my experience.

 

I think this is the thread you are looking for and you will see there are many replies with lots of first rate advice: 

 

 

[Stokakrishna]

In my 15 years experience being in Thailand,  i'd say leave her. Unless u just want to keep her for fun.  But if u tfy to get serious with her, nothing good will come out

[zaZa9]

Ok , her working hours ring true ...thats good.

Theres something else , but this is just a personal thing.

 

It would really get up my nose if I were dating a girl who is constantly pointing out all the looks she is getting - and all the come-ons.

 

If Im not mistaken , you would be getting them to.

Do you point them out to her ?

 

Perhaps , having been 'black' all her life , and being a black Thai means being ignored at best , she is very needy when it comes to attention?

Attention is like a drug to her now?

If so this could abet  'butterfly' behaviour.

 

Whatever , that stuff   would get up my nose very quickly ...

[anon537687643]

Got bored with Thai after 2 pages Big yawn


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[theguyfromanotherforum]

What is her job at the bank exactly?

 

None of my wife's friends who have serious jobs find the time to party even once every 6 months.

 

Even my much younger unemployed ex didn't party 3 times a week and she was wild.

 

 

[khunPer]

1 hour ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

What is her job at the bank exactly?

 

None of my wife's friends who have serious jobs find the time to party even once every 6 months.

 

Even my much younger unemployed ex didn't party 3 times a week and she was wild.

Probably didn't live at Samui...

[Straight8]

On 1/31/2018 at 10:05 AM, robblok said:

I thought so.. guys love to sleep around and have many girls.. but our long term partners need to be like the virgin mary or something. Never made much sense to me. 

Well ask yourself, do you prefer a girl who has only had a fewer partners, raised with morals and ethics, who believes in sleeping with a guy she has deep feelings for (some call it making love)  or the town bike?

[mommysboy]

Being young and naive is no crime.  If you're honest you just came out worse in this rather unsavoury incident.  I guess no matter who you are, there's always someone younger, better looking, craftier, etc.  Maybe you need to be a little more honest in your relationships. 

[Get Real]

Personally, I do believe that you should choose both. That the spanish girl should live with the believes that your trips to Thailand alone without her, is totally faitful ones ain´t gonna fly.
That Joyce would think that you do not ever live or sleep with another girl in your home country, is also a very small chance.

Here we will then have the facts that all 3 involved is aware of reality. That, in clear and uncensored text, means that all parties also do something unfaitful. All are basically the same.

 

[MaeJoMTB]

10 hours ago, Straight8 said:

Well ask yourself, do you prefer a girl who has only had a fewer partners, raised with morals and ethics, who believes in sleeping with a guy she has deep feelings for (some call it making love)  or the town bike?

Well, the girl with fewer partners probably won't have much sex with you, while the town bike probably will.

So the girl you choose would depend on the amount of sex you want to have.

 

I first married a virgin, almost no sex in the entire marriage.

Then I married a slut, so much sex I'm getting tired of it.

Horses for courses ............

[KiChakayan]

4 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

I first married a virgin, almost no sex in the entire marriage.

Then I married a slut, so much sex I'm getting tired of it.

Horses for courses ............

The virgin might be the better choice, as supplemental regimen are readily available here.

 

Most of us don't do horses...

[dick dasterdly]

On 2/1/2018 at 4:38 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

Unlike you, apparently, I actually am capable of liking a woman enough not to dump her over a few baht, crying or not.

 

Who said anything about a "keeper"?

Funnily enough, I dumped a Western boyfriend (many decades ago) when he accepted my repayment of the one pound (sterling) I had previously borrowed.

 

Bear in mind that even though he earned FAR more than me (he was relatively wealthy, whereas I lived from paycheck to paycheck) - I'd always, as a feminist, insisted on paying half of all meals/drinks etc.  For various reasons it had become v obvious that he was extremely 'tight-fisted' with money, whereas I was the opposite.  It was never going to work.

 

Even so, I've never understood why any dating men/women think it acceptable for the man to pay for everything !  A sure sign IMO that the non-paying person is far too interested in money, and best avoided.

[MaeJoMTB]

27 minutes ago, dick dasterdly said:

Even so, I've never understood why any dating men/women think it acceptable for the man to pay for everything !  A sure sign IMO that the non-paying person is far too interested in money, and best avoided.

I'm paying the asking price, for the product on offer.