To snitch or not to snitch that is the question

[tryasimight]

30 posts and a Mod hasn't moved it to the " Gossiping Old Women's Forum"?

[phantomfiddler]

Say nothing. If you do tell him, she will tell him that you put the moves on here and are pissed because she turned you down, and you will then lose the friend. The girls are very good at this manouver and you will be the loser.

[manchega]

it depends if you are friends or not.

the high risk of std and other nasties means you are leaving a friend unprotected or letting an enemy reap

[MaeJoMTB]

35 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Why do you think money has to be involved? Maybe it is, but it does not have to be involved.

I remember a friend who had a hot sexual relationship with the girlfriend from someone else. He told me she told him her boyfriend's idea about sex is a hand-job under the shower, that's it, nothing else. But apart from that she really loved him.

So she had sex with my friend (no money involved) and a relationship with the guy she loved.

I guess that is not a solution for everybody but some people find interesting solutions to interesting problems...

and you believed what she said? (second hand)

[Once Bitten]

There seems to be differing views as to whats the best way to go.

 

So lets say that    '' Your ''    partner has been seen by a friend in similar indisputable circumstances including photographic evidence  .

 

Putting to one side the eventual outcome of the situation and how you would feel / what you would then do. 

 

 I want to ask You  this ..........

 

 

 Would you want your friend to tell you . 

 

 

 Yes  -  or  -  No 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, manchega said:

it depends if you are friends or not.

the high risk of std and other nasties means you are leaving a friend unprotected or letting an enemy reap

Considering the STDs: Do you always inform the wives and/or girlfriends of all the guys you know who go with other women? After all, the guys might get STD and transmit it to their partner. That would only be fair, or not?

Personally I don't follow that approach, I am sure my friends wouldn't appreciate it...

[MaeJoMTB]

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Considering the STDs:

Red herring, STDs are trivial ..... been banging around 10 years (my mates too) and between us we never caught anything that wasn't cured with a $1 course of Cipro or Moxy.

[OneMoreFarang]

Just now, MaeJoMTB said:

and you believed what she said? (second hand)

Lets say it like this: I saw enough (covers of) xxx movies to know that different people have different tastes. Some are, at least for me, very strange and difficult to understand. I don't know if the girl was telling the truth but I know that there are lots of (not only) sexually strange people out there. I understand then some partners in some relationships look for something different then what they get in their partnership.

[473geo]

"While Tom is away the guy went on a long bike trip and on his first night  he decided to stay at a rural resort"

 

And then he saw...............That is one staggering coincidence don't you think?

 

You guys should make up lottery numbers from the car plates and room numbers

[MaeJoMTB]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Lets say it like this: I saw enough (covers of) xxx movies to know that different people have different tastes. Some are, at least for me, very strange and difficult to understand. I don't know if the girl was telling the truth but I know that there are lots of (not only) sexually strange people out there. I understand then some partners in some relationships look for something different then what they get in their partnership.

Let's say it like this:

Women are not to be believed, certainly not the ones you have had sex with.

[OneMoreFarang]

7 minutes ago, Once Bitten said:

There seems to be differing views as to whats the best way to go.

 

So lets say that    '' Your ''    partner has been seen by a friend in similar indisputable circumstances including photographic evidence  .

 

Putting to one side the eventual outcome of the situation and how you would feel / what you would then do. 

 

 I want to ask You  this ..........

 

 

 Would you want your friend to tell you . 

 

 

 Yes  -  or  -  No 

Yes if it would happen near home in a place where people know me and know her. Because people would talk about it anyhow (behind my back) and likely at some stage someone would tell me. In that case I better know sooner that later.

 

No if she would do it i.e. in the home town of a friend who she visits. I also don't want that she knows everything what I do on i.e. a business trip to somewhere far away.

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Let's say it like this:

Women are not to be believed, certainly not the ones you have had sex with.

Not only women don't always tell the truth.

 

But in some cases it does not really matter. If people want to have sex with each other do they really have to know exactly why? I don't think so.

Just do it...

[mauGR1]

31 minutes ago, Once Bitten said:

There seems to be differing views as to whats the best way to go.

 

So lets say that    '' Your ''    partner has been seen by a friend in similar indisputable circumstances including photographic evidence  .

 

Putting to one side the eventual outcome of the situation and how you would feel / what you would then do. 

 

 I want to ask You  this ..........

 

 

 Would you want your friend to tell you . 

 

 

 Yes  -  or  -  No 

Definitely, if he was a friend, i would tell him, and i would expect a real friend to tell me... Otherwise friendship is just meaningless.

[manchega]

30 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Red herring, STDs are trivial ..... been banging around 10 years (my mates too) and between us we never caught anything that wasn't cured with a $1 course of Cipro or Moxy.

incredible thaiailand is now selling HIV cure ? I guess there is another one born every minute?  do they also do cure for various hep issues?

[watcharacters]

 

 

 

 

I understood both the foreigner (ex pat) clubs in Pattaya were founded and run by guys of questionable character.

 

 

 

 

[falangjim]

I'd want to know, but not from you. I would want to know from the guy telling the story. And just who the <deleted> embarrasses a friend, who is out of country, with such a story to the guys in the pub?  And here you are, Mr. "Snitch"-Shakespeare-wannabe wasting our time with this stupid story. Get the chump willing to spread the story to grow some testicles and tell Tom. Ever hear of a phone? Email?  

[cyberfarang]

If it were a very close friend or close family member I may consider spilling the beans. But as regards drinking buddies or just those I associate with, I would not become involved in other people`s dramas.

 

Once the couple kissy, kissy and make up the person who snitched will be cast out, labeled a trouble maker and considered the A**hole. I know, I`ve leaned this from experience.

[Wake Up]

I would tell him because it is risky for him to not know. Would not be accusatory of her to give him an out if he already knows.   But if he does not know then an unknown third person in a sexual relationship is a danger. Maybe it is a fling. Maybe this other guy loves her.  Either way danagerous for your friend to be ignorant of the facts of what is happening.  IMO. 

[473geo]

No need to do anything, if the guy reads Thai visa! recent trip abroad, car with distinctive stripe, unusual mileage increase. Close friend who happened to go on a big bike trip while he was away. Followed by 'friends' looking a little less relaxed at next 'meeting'.

Becomes clear the woman is going to appropriate lengths in attempt to conceal the tryst.

For the husband It is wise to have a perfectly planned exit strategy in place when/if the decision to end a relationship is taken. Easier achieved if the wife is unprepared. Perhaps the guy is in the planning stage, therefor, an 'outing', could force things along a little too fast and less smoothly. Who knows? Already thanks to the open 'accusation' from his 'friend' too many people are  involved in the gossip chain! If one guy tells his wife/girlfriend the story, might as well write an article in the local newspaper. A series of events may well have already been set in motion without the knowledge of either party.

 

[MaeJoMTB]

52 minutes ago, manchega said:

incredible thaiailand is now selling HIV cure ? I guess there is another one born every minute?  do they also do cure for various hep issues?

No, but heterosexual men don't catch it.

CDC stats, man has 4 in 10,000 chance of catching HIV from unprotected heterosexual sex with an infected woman Vs 1 in 200 chance of dying in a RTA.

 

Are you going to dispute the CDC? Always amazed at the ignorance of so many supposedly educated men about STDs.

Edited February 10, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[F4UCorsair]

Anybody got her cell phone number?

Sent from my [device_name] using http://Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[MrY]

On 2/9/2018 at 4:01 AM, simoh1490 said:

This is Thailand, what would a local do if the roles were reversed.....in a second they would snitch, they would be falling over themselves to do so. 

 

When in Rome........!

 

That's what I always ask myself in a situation like this; "What would Somchai do..?"

 

When in Rome, check out the Colosseum!

 

[OneMoreFarang]

Some guys want to know, some guys would tell their friend. I understand.

 

But when I read post explaining this with catching and transmitting  STD I have my doubts. Lots of us know lots of guys who are in a relationship and at the same time f%&*$# around with the ladies, and sometimes not only ladies, of the night. Do these people tell their friends not to do this because they could catch STD? And if the friends still do it do these guys inform the wives and girlfriends of their friends about their behavior? They would obviously only do this to make sure the wives and girlfriends don't get any diseases...

 

If STD is really the reason then be fair and tell the men about their women and tell the women about their men. And if you wouldn't do that then please don't mention you would only do it because of the risk of STD.

 

[MrY]

I'd say you could have told the guy. Discreetly and anonymously.

 

You wouldn't want to tell him directly as he might let it be known who ratted her out.

 

You wouldn't want her to know it's you who took her livelihood away (should that happen).

 

Just imagine her telling her 'gig' who's responsible for taking away his freeloading lifestyle and what might happen next...

 

It's a moot point anyway, as it's all out in the open already.

[simoh1490]

54 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

No, but heterosexual men don't catch it.

CDC stats, man has 4 in 10,000 chance of catching HIV from unprotected heterosexual sex with an infected woman Vs 1 in 200 chance of dying in a RTA.

 

Are you going to dispute the CDC? Always amazed at the ignorance of so many supposedly educated men about STDs.

https://srconstantin.wordpress.com/2015/04/30/std-statistics/

 

And RTA deaths in Thailand are 36 per 100,000, not 1 in 200!!!

Edited February 10, 2018 by simoh1490

[lanng khao]

Tell him...bros before hoe's ..

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[ResandePohm]

There are clearly two people who are in the wrong here. Firstly, the so called freind who is gossiping about Tom to all his freinds in the Pub. He should have kept his mouth shut and descretely told Tom when he returned. The second, who is even worse, is the Op who has now spread this gossip on TV so now all of Toms accuantances know about it. It is none of their business and they have no right to know and definitely no right to spread it further. If I were Tom i would ditch the lot of you and get new more loyal freinds.

Edited February 10, 2018 by ResandePohm

[HooHaa]

This is between tom and his wife. 

 

Bad enough you posted here to begin with.

[ThaiFelix]

I have an old dear friend who has been married to a younger Thai lady here for more than 20 years.  His wife has openly told my wife that she has had her Thai man on the side over the years although now a thing of the past.  But at the same time it is plainly obvious that she cares immensely for my friend and waits on him hand and foot day and night.  And he is extremely happy with her always singing her praise.  

When I first heard of her playing up I was disturbed and wrestled with whether to tell him or not.  However I came to the conclusion that my old friend may not have many years left in him and if he died next week, month or year, he would die a very very happy man not knowing.  If I or someone was to tell him the truth, what would be accomplished??  Sometimes what you dont know dont hurt you.

 

 

[mauGR1]

13 minutes ago, ThaiFelix said:

I have an old dear friend who has been married to a younger Thai lady here for more than 20 years.  His wife has openly told my wife that she has had her Thai man on the side over the years although now a thing of the past.  But at the same time it is plainly obvious that she cares immensely for my friend and waits on him hand and foot day and night.  And he is extremely happy with her always singing her praise.  

When I first heard of her playing up I was disturbed and wrestled with whether to tell him or not.  However I came to the conclusion that my old friend may not have many years left in him and if he died next week, month or year, he would die a very very happy man not knowing.  If I or someone was to tell him the truth, what would be accomplished??  Sometimes what you dont know dont hurt you.

 

 

Well, truth may hurt, but ignorance hurts more.. But that's just me.