The Funny Things The Girls Say!

[BIG SPUDS]

My girlfriend is constantly making me laugh with the things she says to me on the phone. The other day she had been to and back from Bangkok in one morning and had done a lot of walking around. When i called her for our daily chat i asked her if she was going out. She replied ( well what sounded like) " My i dont work"

i kept saying "what do you mean you dont work", and she kept laughing,

i said "i know you dont work" , "no no" she replied "my i dont work, cannot go out", "what" i replied. "your iron?"

"no no......i!"

"Cannot see i no work"

After laughing for 10 minutes trying to understand what she was saying.

I worked it out her eyes were sore and she was tired!!!!!

Anyone else had the same fun?

[hutchworld]

My Thai wife calls my penus "HIM" and her vagina "she". You can make up your own jokes!!

[tatom]

Once when we lived in the US, we were watching a show where a salesman was selling used cars on tv from a local dealership. He was jabbering away about the great deal offered on a certain car and said to " hurry on down because this car wont last long". My wife asked me, " why would anyone want to buy that car if it wont last long?"

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Once when we lived in the US, we were watching a show where a salesman was selling used cars on tv from a local dealership. He was jabbering away about the great deal offered on a certain car and said to " hurry on down because this car wont last long". My wife asked me, " why would anyone want to buy that car if it wont last long?"

and some people think that Thai girls are slow

[exp9696]

Yes BIG this is real fun

PRIVATE JOKER ON THE FORUM ??

[Padkapow Guy]

My wife calls her toes, her finger feet. and she also has an obow(elbow)

She does not do this any more but she used to say kiss me instead of excuse me.

[zappa]

It's not only the girls that come out with these corkers. After a long night clubbing a mixed group (thai/ farlang) sat down for an early breakfast, after the initial ordering and arrival of various foods and drinks one of the Thai guys with us announced, and I quote " There's nothing like a big cold cock in the morning."

After we all picked ourselves up from the floor, got the laughter under control and explained to him what he'd just said, he announced that from now on he'd be drinking pepsi.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

It's not only the girls that come out with these corkers. After a long night clubbing a mixed group (thai/ farlang) sat down for an early breakfast, after the initial ordering and arrival of various foods and drinks one of the Thai guys with us announced, and I quote " There's nothing like a big cold cock in the morning."

After we all picked ourselves up from the floor, got the laughter under control and explained to him what he'd just said, he announced that from now on he'd be drinking pepsi.

it can be also be hot as long as it is hard .

[chonabot]

Yes BIG this is real fun

PRIVATE JOKER ON THE FORUM ??

Christ , rhetorical or what?

[davethailand]

My wife for some strange reason thinks all meat is beef.

"do you want chicken beef or pok or normal beef".

(the pok spelling is intentional)

[Bad News]

My Thai wife calls my penus "HIM" and her vagina "she". You can make up your own jokes!!

Obviously you are anti-female.

'HIM' vs. 'she'

I am on your case.

[Axel]

Friend of mine discussed with his favorite waitress about the lunar years. Found out he and she where born under the same 'rooster'. (For sure different cycles)

Next time he walked in and said 'hello my hen'. Her reply absolutely serious, 'Hello my cock'

[Richard W]

My wife for some strange reason thinks all meat is beef.

"do you want chicken beef or pok or normal beef".

(the pok spelling is intentional)

เนื้อ 2. meat, beef, flesh, filet

เนื้อไก่ chicken

Does she use the word 'meat' at all?

[Boon Mee]

Reminds me of that commercial on TV in the states for Car-X Mufflers. The little ditty goes "Rattle, Rattle, Thunder, Clatter, Boom, Boom, Boom".

Cracked my wife up every time she heard it!

[davethailand]

My wife for some strange reason thinks all meat is beef.

"do you want chicken beef or pok or normal beef".  

(the pok spelling is intentional)

เนื้อ 2. meat, beef, flesh, filet

เนื้อไก่ chicken

Does she use the word 'meat' at all?

thats what i'm saying, i try to tell her that pork, beef and chicken are all meats, not beef from a chicken or pig.

[Blackandwhite]

I once was trying to explain to a bar girl that most of my ex English girlfriends turned out to be sluts, she asked me to explain this word ''SLUT''. I told in simple terms it was a person the <deleted>--ed as many people as possible no matter if they were married single. She thought about it for a while and proudly told me she was also a slut also.

[Insight]

An SMS of a jealous, paranoid ex-g/f after I repeatedly ignored her phone calls one night (one every 5 minutes) :

"what you do now? you <deleted> with other lady! i hope you happying!"

"happying" ???

[davethailand]

An SMS of a jealous, paranoid ex-g/f after I repeatedly ignored her phone calls one night (one every 5 minutes) :

"what you do now? you <deleted> with other lady! i hope you happying!"

"happying" ???

i think thats a standard template.

[alleypanda]

tonight, my hubby said he would allow me shop untill drop at disney(shop). But from what i heard was ' shop untill you drop at Tiffany.I was bloom and happy for a few sec untill I found out that my ears tricked me.SIGH.

[BIG SPUDS]

When i ask my Gf what she is doing she says " she look TV"

After several weeks of this i told her it was "watch TV"

ok she said.

Next day i asked what did you do today?

"i watch shops!"

[Richard W]

When i ask my Gf what she is doing she says " she look TV"

After several weeks of this i told her it was "watch TV"

ok she said.

Next day i asked what did you do today?

"i watch shops!"

And how good are you with Thai verbs of seeing?

[Richard W]

My wife calls her toes, her finger feet.

Sounds like a French girl (doigts de pied)...

and she also has an obow(elbow)

from the Thames estuary! (Estuarine, not Strine.)

But if we're going to mock their efforts, I heard this from a Thai bed & breakfast proprietress to a man who came to breakfast before his wife: 'Is your wife lady?'. Fortunately, he realised that she meant, 'Is your wife ready?'. We farangs of course have no problems with tones.

[tatom]

On another occasion when in the US, when my wife was just learning english, we had a traffic accident. A car backed into us. My wife said she saw the car backing towards us but said " I never thought it will gonna be happen like this! In all fairness, we arnt all that brilliant when it comes to speaking Thai. One time, upon returning from the hardware store, I told my wife I stopped to chat with the little old Chinese lady who owned the store. She was asking about the weather where I lcame from in New England. I told my wife, I was telling the old lady, this year America has alot of snow. My wife said, "WHAT?" Then she explained, snow is pronounced, " hee-mhuh", not "hee ma". I didnt go back to that store for awhile!

[roamer]

My wife watching an advert for Siemens mobile phones in the UK..."Oh I like Siemen" Even the educated ones often drop the final "s"...

[roamer]

In a hotel in Ubon when a bemused friend came down to the bar to say that the maid had propositioned him, knocking on the door and asking "are you lonely?" to which he replied "No I'm ok thanks" and closed the door. We were a little surprised, good hotel, stayed there many times, never experienced anything like that. Then he said..."the thing was she had my laundry in her hand and when I came back out it was hanging on the door."

Cut to scene of my wife (Thai) chokeing on her Margarita...when we revived her she said "they can't pronounce their "r"s up here...the maid was saying "here your laundry..."

[Axel]

Over dinner: "The cooker in here no good".

Call him "cook".

"No you wrong, you paint, you are a painter

you drive, you are a driver, you cook, you are a cooker..."

How to fight such logic?

[mowlem]

Ask your gf for the Thai word for near (gly) and far (gly), and you try to spot the difference!!!

[sonthaya]

And the rice always become lice

[Padkapow Guy]

And the rice always become lice

and right is always light.

[BIG SPUDS]

I love the way she talks about her "Labis" - Rabbits!