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Is raising children in Pattaya irresponsible parenting?  

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Posted
49 minutes ago, trianglechoke said:

Basic sociology and psychology people.

The human brain copies and gravitates towards similarity in some way.... This is really basic stuff.

 

Humans often copy behaviour and habits of those around them for life. Religion, smoking, drinking, hobbies and more.

 

The likely hood of liking and wanting to do certain things because of repeated exposure is so easy to prove. Literally millions of papers on it, google away.

 

The more desensitised  to behaviour which might otherwise be considered dangerous or something like that, plus peers doing it and having what seems like more reward over problem=, the more likely that behaviour is no considered out of bonnds......... And this behaviour which parents tried to steer kids from, becomes something not so bad and doable.

 

People here will argue saying i know someone who..... a zero proof example that may or may not exist. 

 

I know someone who didn't grow up a smoker.... but waaaaaaaaaaaay over 60% of young people who smoke were raised by smokers. There are so many behavioural examples to back it, papers galore... I am amazed this isn't common knowledge.

 

Finally........... Every girl I met who has lived in Pattaya and avoided to part-time hooking..... Which I only have their word at................ was a really c.o.c.k. hungry s.l.u.t. which a disproportionate need for sexual contact.

 

Argue away............. What a question... Is is irresponsible to raise kids, daughters in particular in a whote city... yes.... does it increase likelihood to certain behaviours... yes...... is it 100%... no.. is it high... yes 

 

I have to disagree with you on where children are brought up will affect they way they live and what they do with teir lives.

 

I was born in 1944 and brought up in a small town called Poole in Dorset, England.

 

Other than the war I never knew anybody who was in the military.

 

From the age of 11 I always wanted to join the RAF and at 15 1/2 as a boy I did and served until I was 40. My son was born in 1978 whilst I was in the RAF in South Wales and was 12 when I left the RAF.

 

We lived for 3 years in a village by an Army camp and moved to a small town called Waterlooville in Hampshire. I was working for Surry Police as a radio engineer untill I quit and went working for Vodafone for a year then Motorola for over 10 years.

 

Did my son join the military, the police, the government or a mobile phone company?

 

Not at all. What he wanted to do was work in the motor industry.

 

He started in the parts department of the local Vauxhall dealer, moved on to be a salesman for Rover, then Porsche, then Renault, he worked for his mate, for himself and now is the regional manager for leasing Mercedes Benz covering 4 counties.

 

He has a fair head on his shoulders, grew up in a few places lived in a few more and made his own life.

 

He had repeated exposure to where we lived and what I did but he made his own life with some help from his Mum and I.

 

He was 40 yesterday.

Posted

Poor understandings of human neurology here. Many BKK hooker girls are not isan girls but actual bkk girls who now see getting paid to sleep around as close to normal. New phones, clothes etc. 15 years ago this wasn't the case as much..... social media changed everything, made sex easier and more accessible and allowed people to read up about the hooking, a lot of older people her with little knowledge of the influences the internet has had on kids.

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Posted
1 minute ago, saakura said:

Well they might find them to be good role models and aspire to be doctors or pilots, or other professionals ? Surrounded by prostitutes & drunks all the time may not be a healthy way to bring up a child. 

Yes, surrounded by prostitutes & drunks all the time may not be a healthy way to bring up a child. But it is possible to live in pattaya and not be surrounded by them, in fact you can avoid it altogether if you choose. I am in the middle of Pattaya a couple of times a week, shopping malls, cinema etc and in the middle of the day, not much contact with the bars, bargirls, sexpats etc. I even drive down walking street to get back home, the bars are shut during the day.

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Posted

It's extremely irresponsible. My parents as immigrants outside of thailand chose a poor and crime ridden area to live. I ended up in a street gang at 13.

 

Of course prostitution or criminal behavior will be greatly increased in scum areas. It ain't rocket science and many expats and some that I know quivklt whisked there newly minted soi 6 wife far away.

 

 

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Posted

I think that what a lot of people are missing is the fact that Pattaya is a big place and the nefarious activity is not spread across all of it.

I live on the Dark-side, or East Pattaya, about 7 Km from the city. Nothing that goes on remotely close to my house is anything like what happens in town.

Too many people seem to assume that everyone that lives in Pattaya must be living in the centre of it all, which is simply not the case.

I agree that I would not want to raise kids if I lived in Soi 7, or walking street, but that is a long way from here.

I live in a quiet village with really nice neighbours, lots of kids running around and surprisingly for some, none of them prostituting themselves.

The whole idea that if you live in or around Pattaya you must be mad, stupid or deviant is ridiculous.

You might as well start a topic on how everyone in Amsterdam will grow up a drug addict.

Posted
I think that what a lot of people are missing is the fact that Pattaya is a big place and the nefarious activity is not spread across all of it.
I live on the Dark-side, or East Pattaya, about 7 Km from the city. Nothing that goes on remotely close to my house is anything like what happens in town.
Too many people seem to assume that everyone that lives in Pattaya must be living in the centre of it all, which is simply not the case.
I agree that I would not want to raise kids if I lived in Soi 7, or walking street, but that is a long way from here.
I live in a quiet village with really nice neighbours, lots of kids running around and surprisingly for some, none of them prostituting themselves.
The whole idea that if you live in or around Pattaya you must be mad, stupid or deviant is ridiculous.
You might as well start a topic on how everyone in Amsterdam will grow up a drug addict.
Kids will be drawn into the night life and excitement of downtown as they hit their teens. You were young once remember?
  • Like 1
Posted
16 minutes ago, ThreeEyedRaven said:

I think that what a lot of people are missing is the fact that Pattaya is a big place and the nefarious activity is not spread across all of it.

I live on the Dark-side, or East Pattaya, about 7 Km from the city. Nothing that goes on remotely close to my house is anything like what happens in town.

Too many people seem to assume that everyone that lives in Pattaya must be living in the centre of it all, which is simply not the case.

I agree that I would not want to raise kids if I lived in Soi 7, or walking street, but that is a long way from here.

I live in a quiet village with really nice neighbours, lots of kids running around and surprisingly for some, none of them prostituting themselves.

The whole idea that if you live in or around Pattaya you must be mad, stupid or deviant is ridiculous.

You might as well start a topic on how everyone in Amsterdam will grow up a drug addict.

Look at your final sentence. When did ANYONE say 'everyone'... It didn't happen. Additionally, if in your village 17 year old girls are not prostituting themselves... it means zero......... What is their sexual behaviour when they are away from the village? You don't know. Bottom line. But the link between environmental influence and behaviour is solid and proven. Many people get drawn towards perceived excitement..... Except people on Thai Visa perhaps

Posted

Man to two year old boy swivelling his head from left to right as he toddles down the road.

'Hey, where did you learn to walk like that?

'Daddy showed me. He was worried I might get sunburnt if I walked outside in the day so he took to Walking street every night. '

Posted
1 hour ago, trianglechoke said:

as i said, a poor understanding of basic sociology to use 1 example to assume thousands will be the same. In research we laugh at this rubbish as we use populations relevant to the topic.

My dad owned a factory, i didn't........... we are talking about acute learnt behaviour from an age group which often requires actual response and not reading to learn abut their own neurology...... Other wise the smoking would have never taken off and certain almost vanished when the health scare stuff was proven.

 

You need to read up sir, you are using very weak examples.

 

Let's take isan girs.... Why do so many become hookers, so many thai boys become lb? Because of the reasons I stated.

 

I gave you a true practical example and you think it was not enough.

 

You need to realise that not everybody is the same and does the same thing.

 

My Thai niece is now 24, lived in  BKK and is the first person in our immediate family to complete kindergarten, Prathom and Matayom and then complete university.

 

Is she a bar girl etc? No. Her Dad has married 3 times and she is still perfectly normal and now runs her own business.

 

I give you real life situations and you come back with things like "In research we laugh at this rubbish as we use populations relevant to the topic." The problem with using populations is that you have no idea about people or reality.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, honu said:

I saw a similar post theme and comments about whether or not it's ok to take family on vacation to Pattaya.  It's funny to me seeing people comment that you can avoid the sex industry there, that it's just like anywhere else unless you go to walking street. 

 

The city is one giant brothel, filled with the highest count of bars, sex industry workers and transvestites anywhere on the planet.  I have taken my kids there on vacation plenty of times, since we live in Bangkok and the drive is short, and you can avoid most of all that, but let's call it what it is.  You can't walk two city blocks in most places without seeing a bar or working girls, and you have to stay in 4 star hotels to completely avoid seeing girls working on calls to the rooms.  A lot of the beach converts into a related nightlife theme at dusk.

 

I guess outside of the city it could be fine.  It would be a strange choice to make to raise a family there unless there was good reason for it.

 

It's not just a very surreal world for kids, it's the absolute marriage test for foreign adult couples, married, or not. I've seen quite a few "distractions" when Mr. Farang figures out what all the other Farang in Pattaya are doing. Mrs. Farang then trying to do all to keep Sami handy, but that doesn't always work out well. No hearsay. 

Bug.gif

Edited by jenny2017
Posted
11 minutes ago, billd766 said:

 

I gave you a true practical example and you think it was not enough.

 

You need to realise that not everybody is the same and does the same thing.

 

My Thai niece is now 24, lived in  BKK and is the first person in our immediate family to complete kindergarten, Prathom and Matayom and then complete university.

 

Is she a bar girl etc? No. Her Dad has married 3 times and she is still perfectly normal and now runs her own business.

 

I give you real life situations and you come back with things like "In research we laugh at this rubbish as we use populations relevant to the topic." The problem with using populations is that you have no idea about people or reality.

The wording: "Let's take Isaan girls" says it all. Don't worry, be happy. :smile:

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Posted
1 hour ago, trianglechoke said:

Human behaviour linked to environment is a topic with tens of thousands of papers published and the majority will point to environment heavily influencing human behaviour ..... And that influence is strong as hell on young people.

 

This is even a debate???? Educated people here? Really?

Don't forget you are dealing with Pattaya residents they get quite sooky and defensive if you point out they live in the world's largest red light district. 

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Posted (edited)
50 minutes ago, billd766 said:

 

I gave you a true practical example and you think it was not enough.

 

You need to realise that not everybody is the same and does the same thing.

 

My Thai niece is now 24, lived in  BKK and is the first person in our immediate family to complete kindergarten, Prathom and Matayom and then complete university.

 

Is she a bar girl etc? No. Her Dad has married 3 times and she is still perfectly normal and now runs her own business.

 

I give you real life situations and you come back with things like "In research we laugh at this rubbish as we use populations relevant to the topic." The problem with using populations is that you have no idea about people or reality.

Yes, we laugh at it in research, I didn't mean to insult you but we do laugh at these comebacks vs tested published research papers. We don't use 1 person and say there you go, result. We use populations to find common behavioural traits (white kids growing up in black areas in the uk often adopt black street culture, not all but research shows an overwhelming majority do, the researcher didn't find 1 white kid who was into punk and skating and say.... there is the result of my research, he or she would laughed out of the organisation) because that is line line with human neurology. I can pluck 1 offs too. My dad opened a factory, I didn't.... Therefore nurture is rubbish.... be real bro. The research has already been done on this aspect of neurology, acceptable behaviour being linked to environment, and according to current theory, which may change in time (that is called science), shows that the environment shapes many things which are acceptable or looked down upon in life. Someone, maybe u, actually stated that environment has NO influence.... Did you never notice that groups tend to use behaviour which each other accepts????

Additionally, if nurture is dead and 90%Then it is even more in my favour as the parent gets drawn to a certain thing as a result of DNA messaging, the DNA produces the offspring which carries the same information, and the offspring is carrying a message to find this behaviour acceptable and ok to do.

That aspect of human psychology and neurology may or may not prove true in the future but one thing which has been more or less proven true...... Young people don't without influence shape themselves, influences shape them...... What is the influence here........ Linked to the strongest urge in human genetics.... the behaviour which promotes procreation. 

How anyone can say that environment doesn't link to behaviour and even how we dress and present ourselves is missing something. 

As for your daughter example.......... I doubt very much you know ANY of her sexual habits.

Edited by trianglechoke
love
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Posted
3 hours ago, trianglechoke said:

Basic sociology and psychology people.

The human brain copies and gravitates towards similarity in some way.... This is really basic stuff.

 

Humans often copy behaviour and habits of those around them for life. Religion, smoking, drinking, hobbies and more.

 

The likely hood of liking and wanting to do certain things because of repeated exposure is so easy to prove. Literally millions of papers on it, google away.

 

The more desensitised  to behaviour which might otherwise be considered dangerous or something like that, plus peers doing it and having what seems like more reward over problem=, the more likely that behaviour is no considered out of bonnds......... And this behaviour which parents tried to steer kids from, becomes something not so bad and doable.

 

People here will argue saying i know someone who..... a zero proof example that may or may not exist. 

 

I know someone who didn't grow up a smoker.... but waaaaaaaaaaaay over 60% of young people who smoke were raised by smokers. There are so many behavioural examples to back it, papers galore... I am amazed this isn't common knowledge.

 

Finally........... Every girl I met who has lived in Pattaya and avoided to part-time hooking..... Which I only have their word at................ was a really c.o.c.k. hungry s.l.u.t. which a disproportionate need for sexual contact.

 

Argue away............. What a question... Is is irresponsible to raise kids, daughters in particular in a whote city... yes.... does it increase likelihood to certain behaviours... yes...... is it 100%... no.. is it high... yes 

Finally........... Every girl I met who has lived in Pattaya and avoided to part-time hooking..... Which I only have their word at................ was a really c.o.c.k. hungry s.l.u.t. which a disproportionate need for sexual contact

 

I somehow feel sad after reading your post. Sad for you.  

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Posted
1 minute ago, jenny2017 said:

Finally........... Every girl I met who has lived in Pattaya and avoided to part-time hooking..... Which I only have their word at................ was a really c.o.c.k. hungry s.l.u.t. which a disproportionate need for sexual contact

 

I somehow feel sad after reading your post. Sad for you.  

I am interested as to why?

Posted

If you live in Pattaya and decided to raise kids there, I'd say "no," that's not irresponsible.  It's just living your life.  Heck, parents who get divorced with children are probably more irresponsible, if you think about it. 

 

But if I had a choice between raising kids in Pattaya or, say, Chiang Mai, I'd choose Chiang Mai. 

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, ThreeEyedRaven said:

I think that what a lot of people are missing is the fact that Pattaya is a big place and the nefarious activity is not spread across all of it.

I live on the Dark-side, or East Pattaya, about 7 Km from the city. Nothing that goes on remotely close to my house is anything like what happens in town.

Too many people seem to assume that everyone that lives in Pattaya must be living in the centre of it all, which is simply not the case.

I agree that I would not want to raise kids if I lived in Soi 7, or walking street, but that is a long way from here.

I live in a quiet village with really nice neighbours, lots of kids running around and surprisingly for some, none of them prostituting themselves.

The whole idea that if you live in or around Pattaya you must be mad, stupid or deviant is ridiculous.

You might as well start a topic on how everyone in Amsterdam will grow up a drug addict.

You are right to a extended I also live on the Darkside, and from what you described you most likely live in some type of gate community that pays due etc with a community swimming pool?  is that right?  That doesn't mean if you don't I agree doesn't mean " mad, stupid and deviant or ridiculous "  but as my earlier post indicated it doesn't mean it doesn't exist but you look around on the Darkside majority of Thais aren't in communities as I noted that you might be living in? 

This is where I made a major mistake... I believed where my wife was from  she wouldn't be happy with the restrictions in a gated community since she was Thai from the farm like to hang smelly fish and laundry out etc. and I was living here my thought was our son should be raised as a Thai but I was naive and just assume things here particularly schools were the same everywhere as time went by I noticed it wasn't by the time it hit me it was too late and believe me I wasn't born yesterday. My brother went the other way he decided he wanted to live in a gated community and noticed the families Thai or non that could afford such a luxury basically same income or class. Believe it or not that is a huge difference the kids go to a better schools maybe not International but able to afford a step or two up from government their English is better due to likely the mix parents or the Thai family has a better appreciation of education and not think of it as a pastime. The people and the community has something in common and that goes a long way to the kids being taught goals, looking for more in life etc.

 

The kids in my village,  sure many are good hard working people stuck and they don't even know it. Just by the way they dress and go out at night indicates many work the bar,  so many have no husbands and the only way they seem to make it is because the grandfather / grandmother is around. 

 

Hey I'm no saint and don't want to be... I'm very careful as to where I go because never know when I might run into a neighbor.

 

Your environment and how one is brought up is very important and adds to the make up of a individual but as noted, if you are a drug addict environment you will also be one surely not true if your mother is a alcoholic and drinking while she is pregnant the born child will show some effects.  Then there is the gene makeup that is pass on all possible but it is the parent how they push is going to go a long way. I was very close to a girl who worked in a popular Go Go, I notice she drank heavy lots of family personal problems many times I had to give her a ride home drunk. As I got to know her better and how she grew up met her father a drunk, she was taught harmless to drink at a young age, father brought women home sleeping all in the same small room,  at 16 she was pregnant, by 17 the kid ran out we all heard that before. She is very much like the father always thinking the bottle will wash problems away.

 

I'm ask by my son friends, wife, neighbors does he have a crystal ball type of look, I don't, wise I don't think so?  but here I see monkey see monkey do and you only follow when you have little education and little adult guiding in life. I've been with the locals when I see them harmlessly joking giving kids 9-10 year a taste of beer,  smoking in front of them,  even what is more recognizing is how these young kids learn how to drive and ride a bike.  All from a young age taught intentionally or not kids see more than we think and copy who is around the most and who they look up too.

 

Don't believe me say something negative that is normal to a Thai man like they shouldn't do something and watch their facial expression. They don't understand why their being criticized because what they learn and did is normal. 

 

Here to not get off the subject.. the acceptance of the sex industry is normal tough to judge them since many of us benefit in more ways than we care to admit?

 

 

Edited by thailand49
  • Like 1
Posted

yrs ago I met a farang who owned a business near soi LK metro. He had a 15 yr old daughter who looked much older. Its a receipe for disaster is what he said. He was really worried back then. Of course being exposed to this is going to be bad for her in the future

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Posted
1 hour ago, trianglechoke said:

Yes, we laugh at it in research, I didn't mean to insult you but we do laugh at these comebacks vs tested published research papers. We don't use 1 person and say there you go, result. We use populations to find common behavioural traits (white kids growing up in black areas in the uk often adopt black street culture, not all but research shows an overwhelming majority do, the researcher didn't find 1 white kid who was into punk and skating and say.... there is the result of my research, he or she would laughed out of the organisation) because that is line line with human neurology. I can pluck 1 offs too. My dad opened a factory, I didn't.... Therefore nurture is rubbish.... be real bro. The research has already been done on this aspect of neurology, acceptable behaviour being linked to environment, and according to current theory, which may change in time (that is called science), shows that the environment shapes many things which are acceptable or looked down upon in life. Someone, maybe u, actually stated that environment has NO influence.... Did you never notice that groups tend to use behaviour which each other accepts????

Additionally, if nurture is dead and 90%Then it is even more in my favour as the parent gets drawn to a certain thing as a result of DNA messaging, the DNA produces the offspring which carries the same information, and the offspring is carrying a message to find this behaviour acceptable and ok to do.

That aspect of human psychology and neurology may or may not prove true in the future but one thing which has been more or less proven true...... Young people don't without influence shape themselves, influences shape them...... What is the influence here........ Linked to the strongest urge in human genetics.... the behaviour which promotes procreation. 

How anyone can say that environment doesn't link to behaviour and even how we dress and present ourselves is missing something. 

As for your daughter example.......... I doubt very much you know ANY of her sexual habits.

 

But you did insult me before and you have just done so once again.

 

Do you ever read ANY post before you reply?

 

If you do please tell me where ,when and how long I have had a daughter. I know I have a son in the UK and another son here in Thailand, but a daughter, sadly no.

 

I DO have a niece and freely admit I know nothing of her sexual habits. At 24 I figure that she is big enough to look after herself.

 

Using yourself as an example of a researcher I can understand why people think that most of the research papers, results etc are not worth bothering with. Piles of "facts" and results that mean little or nothing to the average person are generated and don't change a thing.

  • Like 1
Posted
2 hours ago, starky said:

Mate been going there since '98 I find it hilarious how defensive you guys get. Hardly any bars in Pattaya, yep wholesome place they got a hospital and a couple of nice hotels.. Leave me out.  That's just all lipstick on a pig. The other funny thing is how fast the Pattaya crowd want to make it personal. I lived there for near 7 years so don't presume to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Just for the record I also don't think if you live in Pattaya your daughter will become a Hooker. What I did say is that I would never choose to live there neither would I choose to raise a family there. If you want to champ go ahead, zero judgement from me, unlike all the super defensive Pattaya residents that want to take a shot because I choose not to live there. Sorry I don't agree with your point of view. 

     You remind me of the sanctimonious guy who posted a few months ago on 'My visit to Pattaya'.  Supposedly the trip was to see if Pattaya could host a business conference or some such thing.  Guy stayed at Hilton and visited Sunee Plaza, Mike Shopping Mall, and Sizzler and after that exhaustive study decided he had seen everything and gave Pattaya a 'firm no'.  Of course Pattaya has lots of bars and a lively nightlife; nobody denies that.  What Pattaya people object to, and some of us will set the record straight on, is ridiculous, clueless statements like yours saying that a large chunk of the town is 'one enormous brothel' when that is clearly not the case.

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)
55 minutes ago, newnative said:

     You remind me of the sanctimonious guy who posted a few months ago on 'My visit to Pattaya'.  Supposedly the trip was to see if Pattaya could host a business conference or some such thing.  Guy stayed at Hilton and visited Sunee Plaza, Mike Shopping Mall, and Sizzler and after that exhaustive study decided he had seen everything and gave Pattaya a 'firm no'.  Of course Pattaya has lots of bars and a lively nightlife; nobody denies that.  What Pattaya people object to, and some of us will set the record straight on, is ridiculous, clueless statements like yours saying that a large chunk of the town is 'one enormous brothel' when that is clearly not the case.

Hahaha ok it's not a brothel it's just a place where sex is freely available for money. Again I lived there 7 years mate I'm not sanctimonious I got nothing against Pattaya. For the record soi 1,2,3, 4 ,6,7,8, post office, pattayaland, walking street (just beach road 1), soi buakhow, soi Diana , lk metro, walking street, beach road 2 and most side sois,  klang, South Pattaya road to name a few that's without even venturing into nak lua or jomtien. Probably be easier to name the sois in Pattaya that don't have bars you flip. So to keep it on topic is Pattaya somewhere I would choose to raise my children? <deleted> no. End of

Edited by starky
Posted
Hahaha ok it's not a brothel it's just a place where sex is freely available for money. Again I lived there 7 years mate I'm not sanctimonious I got nothing against Pattaya. For the record soi 1,2,3, 4 ,6,7,8, post office, pattayaland, walking street (just beach road 1), soi buakhow, soi Diana , lk metro, walking street, beach road 2 and most side sois,  klang, South Pattaya road to name a few that's without even venturing into nak lua or jomtien. Probably be easier to name the sois in Pattaya that don't have bars you flip. So to keep it on topic is Pattaya somewhere I would choose to raise my children? no. End of
Probably a no then. But how about London? Is it somewhere I want to raise my kids? It's the stabbing and shooting capital of the world now isn't it? More murders than NYC? That's all I hear on the news, so I should avoid London? Lol.

Sent from my LG-H990 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

  • Like 2
Posted
1 hour ago, reenatinnakor said:

Probably a no then. But how about London? Is it somewhere I want to raise my kids? It's the stabbing and shooting capital of the world now isn't it? More murders than NYC? That's all I hear on the news, so I should avoid London? Lol.

Sent from my LG-H990 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

Is that what we are discussing mate? The question is do you think it is irresponsible raising your children in Pattaya?  I don't think it irresponsible but it's not somewhere I would choose to raise my children. Get it? Maybe you should start a thread on whether raising your children in London or New York is irresponsible cos I couldn't give a rats. <deleted>  sake . It's like boxing a blind man.

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