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During his routine medical check, O'Flannagan  asked the doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?"

"I doubt it", said the doctor, "Mercury is in Uranus right now."

O'Flannagan  said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology crap,you know !."

"Neither do I", replied the doctor, "My thermometer just broke inside your rear orifice."

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