British man in Pattaya killed himself after amassing huge debts supporting Thai wife

[JustKnut]

1 hour ago, ramrod711 said:

And the next lucky contestant is................

Yes you wonder, no you really don`t do you !!!!

But somebody need to stop here 

[sanemax]

6 minutes ago, Belzybob said:

With significant debt and seeing no way out of it, just how does he move on????

Go to Ecuador and stay there , living off his pension

[JustKnut]

1 minute ago, Belzybob said:

With significant debt and seeing no way out of it, just how does he move on???? People are far to glib at ignoring the mental health issues that may result from the stress and anxiety that may have built up in the poor sod. Just hope you don't get yourself in some like type situation and have some schmuck throwing insults at you.

Maybe he told People at home he had a marvelos life in Thailand With this wonderful GIRL and that every thing was fantastic here. Hard to og back then when People would smile funny at you and say "told you so" and "you should have......." he just wanted a good life after a Lifetime of hard work. Hope he is in a NICE Place now.

REST IN PEACE

"What do we now"

[billd766]

6 hours ago, sanemax said:

Maybe he thought that the Courts could take his pension to pay off his debts ?

 

Perhaps he did think that but it could not happe

6 hours ago, stevkob said:

 

Yes it is obvious and he chose the wrong woman but there's no need to put the boot in.

There are many over 70's who are having the time of their lives, unfortunately he saw no way out other than suicide.. it's sad really.

 

I am one of them.

[billd766]

4 hours ago, phycokiller said:

its SE Asia. if you want a gf you have to support all the brothers and sisters and sick mamas too. best just to rent them short time.

 

Actually, no you don't, but don't let the truth get in the way of your bar stool story.

 

3 hours ago, transam said:

I don't......

 

Nor me.

 

2 hours ago, Kadilo said:

Not me. That’s 2 of us.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

[billd766]

1 hour ago, epicstuff said:

These girls know how to grind you  down in small incremental steps.  Bit by bit they'll catch you like the  adage of the frog that doesn't  jump out of the water when its brought to  boil slowly.. They all seem low maintenance at first & with these over sexed cuties it hard temptation  to resist for some. 

 

That might be your personal opinion (or that of your "friend") but it certainly isn't my experience nor that of most of my friends.

[robblok]

12 minutes ago, billd766 said:

 

That might be your personal opinion (or that of your "friend") but it certainly isn't my experience nor that of most of my friends.

Just a question of finding the right ladies, that does not happen (often) while your on a holiday as you have not enough time to know the person and your in holiday setting. Plus a bar girl.. come on that is just stupid. There are probably good bar girls but they are outnumbered by the bad ones. 

[Jip99]

A very sad situation and I am one who finds it difficult to imagine suicide as the best option available - I accept all the comments about the ability to think rationally etc, but I just hope I never find myself in that desperate position.

 

Every poster on Thai Visa has a story and the deceased in this case is no different. The reporting (and many thread posts) don’t help us to see the real individual.

 

The deceased was John Edward Charles Toms who is said to have first visited Thailand in June 2012.

 

John was born in February 1950 so he had 62 years of a life in his home country before landing on these shores.

 

What do we know of his life - had he been married, had family etc back home. Reportage suggests that he was a “British businessman” and “retired from British Steel”. He had a pension of £1,163 p.m., was a father of one, his wife (whom he was divorcing) was 55. He became engaged to Thanyaporn in July 2012 and bought her a 36k motorbike in August 2012. They married sometime later (I have not seen when) although I fail to see they can “have a teenage daughter together”. John met Naritha (the girlfriend aged 49) in March 2017 and he left his wife in November 2017. She switched to a younger Dane and now lives in Denmark. 

 

I am just trying to assimilate the facts because I want to avoid the easy mistake of judging, or jumping to conclusions, based on news report/TV posts.

 

John would have have been in receipt of a UK State pension which probably accounted for half of what he received - the remainder being a British Steel occupational pension. This pension supplemented from teaching in Thailand. “British Businessman” - this may be based on the LLP business that was registered in April 2015 and dissolved in October 2016. Mrs Thanyaporn Toms was also a director of Sawsadee-Thai-Fashion-Jewelry whose registered office was in Tonypandy. This address is shared by Foundry Construction Limited, the director being Dilwyn Lewis.

 

John is said to have ‘burned’ £100,000 savings and was £50,000 in debt. that equates to £25,000 p.a. plus pension/income from teaching.

 

My interest in trying to establish a few more facts is to get past the sensationalism and judgementalism of the headlines etc. Here is a guy who saw no option but to take his own life. That is sad and should be avoidable.

 

Surely there were some family and friends from those first 62 years (someone Bank-rolled the £50k). Surely there were friends from the last 6 years.

 

As often, there are more questions than answers in this case - perhaps they should remain unanswered.

 

R. I. P.

 

[bkk6060]

Brits sure seem to be having many many issues here.

All the problems and arrests and diving off balconies.

Geez, whats going on?

[bkk6060]

2 hours ago, epicstuff said:

These girls know how to grind you  down in small incremental steps.  Bit by bit they'll catch you like the  adage of the frog that doesn't  jump out of the water when its brought to  boil slowly.. They all seem low maintenance at first & with these over sexed cuties it hard temptation  to resist for some. 

Sure, if one is a loser no brain confidence human liter box no gonad loser.

Unfortunately, many here just keep reading...

[Jip99]

5 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Sure, if one is a loser no brain confidence human liter box no gonad loser.

Unfortunately, many here just keep reading...

 

 

..... and you think the Brits have issues? ???

[rosst]

How sad he did not have a few of the right friends to help him, RIP, sad story to read and may the fleas of a thousand camels infest her armpits. 

[bkk6060]

12 minutes ago, Jip99 said:

 

 

..... and you think the Brits have issues? ???

Well, sure they seem too.

The highest arrest rate in the country for foreingers.

Everyday some major headline with a Brit involved.

Jumping off balconies, fights, arrests.

Whats up?? Brexit blues?  Just asking....

 

Edited May 4, 2018 by bkk6060

[Kadilo]

Sad to see people getting off by slagging off the dead and others they know nothing about. 

Says more about the state of their own life's than that of deceased. 

 

Edited May 4, 2018 by Kadilo

[MaeJoMTB]

17 minutes ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

As evidenced by Thaivisa.com on an almost daily basis, there are a lot of stupid people who think it is their job to give Thai girls a lot of their money.  I think it is pertinent to challenge this because it isn't logical.

 

Not sure where alpha male and attention seeking come into it.  We need to challenge this alpha male thing because that's what killed the guy in the OP.  He saw himself as the provider to a whore and then killed himself when he could no longer provide.  This should have been nipped in the bud at the outset but it wasn't and that's partly because of people like you who whinge on about respect and other such intangible nonsense, instead of talking frankly and openly.

Captain Saveaho, is white knight syndrome not alpha behaviour.

Most of them decided on this line of work because they are lazy/like sex/party/booze/drugs.

 

As for the suicide, 68 ain't a bad age, I'd be happy with another 6 years too.

Many of my pals have died well before that age.

Edited May 4, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Captain Saveaho, is white knight syndrome not alpha behaviour.

Most of them decided on this line of work because they are lazy/like sex/party/booze/drugs.

 

As for the suicide, 68 ain't a bad age, I'd be happy with another 6 years too.

Many of my pals have died well before that age.

I already got 30 year of bonus, and still kicking. So every day is a wonderful day. 

[Rimmer]

A number of troll  posts from the same person have been removed, You need to stop now.

[Mac98]

Being married to a Thai bar girl is like being divorced from an American woman.

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, Mac98 said:

Being married to a Thai bar girl is like being divorced from an American woman.

Personal experience? 

 

[bokningar]

9 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How about a picture of the wife?

 

9 hours ago, sanemax said:

How about clicking on the link in the O.P ?

I did and I would rather jump than stay with her!!!!

[Jip99]

34 minutes ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

sad to see posts being removed for 'trolling' when there was no trolling, only open and honest discourse.  The problem is the people who are offended by reality, not the people for presenting reality to them.

 

 

I think you will will find your latest post will go as well on the grounds of questioning moderation... ?

[tropo]

12 hours ago, hyku1147 said:

Depression is a killer. RIP

 

"When the Reaper confronts you - kick him in the balls. Then he may say 'just testing kid!'."

It's not like he didn't have a good reason for being depressed. Being 68, broke and in debt was the reason... It makes me depressed even thinking about it.

[dfdgfdfdgs]

1 minute ago, tropo said:

It's not like he didn't have a good reason for being depressed. Being 68, broke and in debt was the reason... It makes me depressed even thinking about it.

But the last two were his own fault for giving way too much money to a worthless whore.  He had a decent pension anyway.

 

68 is better than being dead.  You can do lots of fun things when you are 68.  Like play chess.  And watch football.  And he had a new, better missus by the sounds of it.  Lots to live for.

[Jip99]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Captain Saveaho, is white knight syndrome not alpha behaviour.

 

 

 

I have pondered this over the years - and, yes, I have the Captain Saveaho T shirt.......

 

From my very first day in Thailand I had this overwhelming desire to improve the lives of the poor young wenches, who had been driven into a life  of serving the needs of aging western gentlemen. 

 

I believed, and still do, that every 1,000 Baht expended is doing some good and provides me with a warm, charitable feeling. A generous 10% tip on top - and another 100 Baht for the girl’s bastard child - just adds to that sense of ‘doing good’. 

 

It is therefore natural that that we then progress to adopting one of our choosing (some Expats go as far as marrying). Saving them from their former life of servitude is often recognized with a reciprocation of warmth and caring - sometimes with loyalty and gratitude.

 

Occasionaly, there will be a ‘bad un’ that does not come up to scratch and repays your generosity with greed and loathing - these need to be weeded out at an early stage and replaced with one who can conform.

 

As long as that cycle can continue there should never be a need to contemplate suicide - being able to walk away from, or turn your back on,  something that you have committed most of your time, money and heart to is a necessary skill for longevity in Thailand. 

[Jip99]

2 minutes ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

But the last two were his own fault for giving way too much money to a worthless whore.  He had a decent pension anyway.

 

68 is better than being dead.  You can do lots of fun things when you are 68.  Like play chess.  And watch football.  And he had a new, better missus by the sounds of it.  Lots to live for.

 

 

69 Is definitely better than being dead......

[dfdgfdfdgs]

It's a cute post but why give them money.  Let them make their own.  Thailand is not that poor.  They can make 500 baht a day quite easily and live on half of that.  If they choose to give the rest to their family, well that's their business.  They're not going to be homeless or destitute.  Better to find a girl who can support herself, plenty out there.

[realenglish1]

Sounds to me like she was a bar girl Why in gods name marry

a bar girl You know what you are going to get

[tropo]

49 minutes ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

But the last two were his own fault for giving way too much money to a worthless whore.  He had a decent pension anyway.

 

68 is better than being dead.  You can do lots of fun things when you are 68.  Like play chess.  And watch football.  And he had a new, better missus by the sounds of it.  Lots to live for.

What's the point of saying his problems were his own fault? That changes nothing.

 

Watching football and playing chess after 68... to live for... Now I'm even more depressed. 

 

 

 

 

[swissie]

To blow ones life savings on a "Lady" is one thing, but to borrow 50'000£ from family and friends and then make a fast exit? He was fully aware, that he would never be able to repay the loans.
Something like this I call despicable behaviour.

Surely, his creditors will join in the RIP chorus, but from their point of view the RIP probably stands for
"Rot In Purgatory".
Cheers.

[tropo]

35 minutes ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

It's a cute post but why give them money.  Let them make their own.  Thailand is not that poor.  They can make 500 baht a day quite easily and live on half of that.  If they choose to give the rest to their family, well that's their business.  They're not going to be homeless or destitute.  Better to find a girl who can support herself, plenty out there.

You can maybe exist on 250 a day, but I wouldn't call it living.