Is your Thai companion averse to questions?

[Somtamnication]

Me: I want some honey tonight

Her: Why?

Me: With honey comes gold.

Her: ok!

 

[rumak]

5 hours ago, Brunolem said:

s your personal experience similar to mine, or is my wife a special case (lucky me!)?

Well, i am now sure i am wasting my breath here.  But i will give you one LAST answer.  

Your first post showed to me and some others that there is a total disconnect in your relationship

from what we think is "normal".  No, we do not all have perfect lives !  But your defensive reactions

to anyone who did not ANSWER YOUR QUESTION  shows me that whatever is going on with you and your wife,  you are definitely part of the problem.  

Sorry once again for not directly answering your question....... just not interested  

[peter48]

Compatibility - probably not a tick box but you know it when you have it. I married the wrong girl:  we were too different , she was really too moody, she was practical some really good things but in the very early stage I think knew it- I never had that wow factor when you really know yes this it- everything physical, psychological, friend, laughing etc...

 

As older, wiser types can only say be careful, try it out, move away from her family , live together first , you will know in your instincts ....Marriage is legal, is commitment, is pregnancy, is lovely kids, teenagers, money, property ...Never go into this without emotional commitment because you could end up divorced or separated with mixed Thai/farang  kids either here or back where you come from .  Forgive us if we are being too heavy here.

 

Edited June 3, 2018 by peter48

[rumak]

I'm not trying to be an ahole......it is possible you are a nice guy and that your wife is just not happy.

I don't know why....but no it is not normal to not have "compatibility".   It rarely works out once it goes

downhill,   but up to you.    

wish you luck in making the hard choice  (same one some of us "perfect ones"  have had to.

 

[nickmondo]

What you are experiencing is absolutely typical of a Thai woman.

Normally they are only capable of replying to the exact point of the question.

Eg: to a Thai:  are you going to the bar on Friday?   NO

Eg: to a non Thai: are you going to the bar on Friday?  NO, i cant make it because i have to go to the market, but I will be able to make it on Saturday if that is ok with you?

See the difference?

They are not capable of any lateral thinking or responses at all.

And as you found out, they normally talk a load of absolute crap!

But yours sounds like a particularly nasty piece of work.

My advice is to get rid!

In fact, why did you marry her in the first place?

Are you mad?

 

[Panda13]

If your wife wont answer your questions, why should we? What was the question?

[notmyself]

5 minutes ago, nickmondo said:

What you are experiencing is absolutely typical of a Thai woman.

 

 

Lack of interest etc. is not gender specific.

[lionsincity]

sounds like she is sick of your ass

[theguyfromanotherforum]

3 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

Jeez, why would you marry someone who doesn't even answers your questions ?

 

Are you married?

[Jonah Tenner]

5 hours ago, Damrongsak said:

To hell with all you lucky guys who can get a question in edgewise.  I have to jump up and down and wave my arms to get any air time.

I know the feeling.

My ex operated on the principle: Don't speak while I'm interrupting.

[Brunolem]

22 minutes ago, rumak said:

I'm not trying to be an ahole......it is possible you are a nice guy and that your wife is just not happy.

I don't know why....but no it is not normal to not have "compatibility".   It rarely works out once it goes

downhill,   but up to you.    

wish you luck in making the hard choice  (same one some of us "perfect ones"  have had to.

 

It is fascinating to see the subject evolving from "my wife is averse to questions" to "divorce!", "why did you marry her?", "are you mad?" and so on!

 

For whatever reason, some members assume that my wife is averse to questions because of me!

How do they know?

What is to say that she would react differently with other guys?

 

How can they deduct from my opening post that our common life is a living hell?

 

I'd rather have a wife who doesn't like questions than one who has a drinking problem, or one who is after my money, or one with a pesky family, for example.

 

Things need to be put in perspective before reacting, or in this case, overreacting...

[simoh1490]

32 minutes ago, nickmondo said:

What you are experiencing is absolutely typical of a Thai woman.

Normally they are only capable of replying to the exact point of the question.

Eg: to a Thai:  are you going to the bar on Friday?   NO

Eg: to a non Thai: are you going to the bar on Friday?  NO, i cant make it because i have to go to the market, but I will be able to make it on Saturday if that is ok with you?

See the difference?

They are not capable of any lateral thinking or responses at all.

And as you found out, they normally talk a load of absolute crap!

But yours sounds like a particularly nasty piece of work.

My advice is to get rid!

In fact, why did you marry her in the first place?

Are you mad?

 

Generalise much!

[peter48]

11 minutes ago, Brunolem said:

It is fascinating to see the subject evolving from "my wife is averse to questions" to "divorce!", "why did you marry her?", "are you mad?" and so on!

 

For whatever reason, some members assume that my wife is averse to questions because of me!

How do they know?

What is to say that she would react differently with other guys?

 

How can they deduct from my opening post that our common life is a living hell?

 

I'd rather have a wife who doesn't like questions than one who has a drinking problem, or one who is after my money, or one with a pesky family, for example.

 

Things need to be put in perspective before reacting, or in this case, overreacting...

You are correct we are all seeking Therapy from failed Thai relationships and you are having to bear it . You are correct ...There are far worse problems, alcohol, madness, jealousy, crazy family, crazy step kids, money issues...as I said above if you are happy and your instincts say yes stay in good relationship. 

 

PS ...we are not all divorce lawyers seeking custom

[theguyfromanotherforum]

17 minutes ago, simoh1490 said:

Generalise much!

Meh...it's not generalizing if it's true.

[khunPer]

6 hours ago, Brunolem said:

Is your personal experience similar to mine, or is my wife a special case (lucky me!)?

You should know that one's Thai wife, or Thai girlfriend, always is special, and not like others.

 

I recall however the 10 minutes or so, before a simple question can be answered, like when I asked my girlfriend to ask a local man about direction. After 10 minutes talk I thought that I politely could break their conversation and ask about the direction, but I was told that she haven't got that far yet. After another five minutes I realized the man did not know the direction to what we were seeking, but my girlfriend knew almost all about his life-story...?

 

I think it's very individual - you know, my Thai girlfriend is special, and not like others - what we experience; and about asking (too) many question, makes me think about a Thai girl I once knew, she always answered my questions with: »Don't think too much.«?

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Are you married?

Yes

[peter48]

"a Thai girl I once knew, she always answered my questions with: »Don't think too much."

 

Maybe that explains Thailand's weaker schooling system relative to the other Asian Tigers , its weaker high tech innovation , wealth and income  inequality , its higher crime or its extremely higher accident rate and so on. Just an idea

[oldrunner]

The easy question is "When are you leaving?" followed by "Take your sister with you" and "Don't let the door smack you backside."

[Brunolem]

42 minutes ago, peter48 said:

"a Thai girl I once knew, she always answered my questions with: »Don't think too much."

 

Maybe that explains Thailand's weaker schooling system relative to the other Asian Tigers , its weaker high tech innovation , wealth and income  inequality , its higher crime or its extremely higher accident rate and so on. Just an idea

Very few people think too much and they are unlikely to be into Thai women!

[simoh1490]

44 minutes ago, peter48 said:

"a Thai girl I once knew, she always answered my questions with: »Don't think too much."

 

Maybe that explains Thailand's weaker schooling system relative to the other Asian Tigers , its weaker high tech innovation , wealth and income  inequality , its higher crime or its extremely higher accident rate and so on. Just an idea

Here are the crime rankings for SE Asian countries, Thailand is fifth out of eight - https://www.numbeo.com/crime/rankings_by_country.jsp?title=2016&region=035

 

Here's schooling vs percentage of GDP spent on education, Thailand is number one: http://www.eastbysoutheast.com/report-card-on-education-in-southeast-asia/

 

Here's crime rates by country, Thailand is fifth: https://www.numbeo.com/crime/rankings_by_country.jsp?title=2016&region=035

 

If you research the rest of the nonsense that you've written you'll see that the only part that's correct is what you wrote about accident rates... try getting your facts straight before posting!

[Brunolem]

11 minutes ago, simoh1490 said:

 

Here's schooling vs percentage of GDP spent on education, Thailand is number one: http://www.eastbysoutheast.com/report-card-on-education-in-southeast-asia/

 

 

No bait here,  just a regular comment.

 

Thailand may be number one for education spending, but then it doesn't get a good return on its money.

 

Thailand constantly ranks last or close to last in inter Asean student competitions, especially in English where it somehow manages to finish behind powerhouses such as Burma or Laos!

 

On top of that, students IQ below 100 in universities, and below 90 in high schools are the worrying measured average...needless to say that these numbers are quickly pushed under the rug until next time...

[one baht]

BRUNOLEM

 

Apart from the Q+A  dissatisfaction , how is your marriage otherwise ?

We all have our problems and l soon learn't not to be to serious about everything ,and that made a big difference to our relationship ,and when l look back it makes me laugh as to how touchy i was

about the sort of things you are talking about, we were in Bangkok last year going to the Australian Embassy,l said" ark some peepin where Lumphini Park" , "teerak", she didn't want to ask "what?  l not talk good Thai enough" so Duang asked 2 people and she said "we go this way" okay we walked a while and l asked her what did the people actually say ,she said "man tell this way" ,and what the lady tell?",she tell go other way" ! well we both started laughing and she said teerak you know this Thailand ! l think the lady may have been right because we walked about 3ks .

Duang doesn't have to toe the line to western ways,  and she is not stupid and she is not ignorant and she is not disrespectful all l needed was to try and learn and have some understanding of the Thai way of things and it involved a bit of time !.And life is still good in Thailand

 

[simoh1490]

5 minutes ago, Brunolem said:

No bait here,  just a regular comment.

 

Thailand may be number one for education spending, but then it doesn't get a good return on its money.

 

Thailand constantly ranks last or close to last in inter Asean student competitions, especially in English where it somehow manages to finish behind powerhouses such as Burma or Laos!

 

On top of that, students IQ below 100 in universities, and below 90 in high schools are the worrying measured average...needless to say that these numbers are quickly pushed under the rug until next time...

The facts don't support your statement about Laos, it's ranked the bottom of the list: https://www.ef.co.th/epi/regions/asia/

 

And whether it's value for money or not is not really relevant since that's subjective.

 

Perhaps rather than just claim something is true and correct, post a link to confirm it is so.

Edited June 3, 2018 by simoh1490

[Brunolem]

2 minutes ago, one baht said:

 

Apart from the Q+A  dissatisfaction , how is your marriage otherwise ?

We all have our problems 

My marriage is probably where one could expect it to be after almost 20 years, with its highs and its lows.

 

As incredible as it may seem, my initial post was really out of curiosity, and not about checking the status of my marriage.

 

From the multiple answers gathered, it would seem that we are in a fifty-fifty situation, that is, one half of the members dealing with similar issues as mine, and one half considering that my case is desperate.

[simoh1490]

Too many baiters trying to get a rise out of you, I think you can safely ignore that 50%.

[Brunolem]

4 minutes ago, simoh1490 said:

The facts don't support your statement about Laos, it's ranked the bottom of the list: https://www.ef.co.th/epi/regions/asia/

 

And whether it's value for money or not is not really relevant since that's subjective.

 

Perhaps rather than just claim something is true and correct, post a link to confirm it is so.

I will take your word for Laos.

As for the other things, I read about these results over the years, when they were published in a local newspaper.

Members who teach here are generally aware of that, as I have read in some other threads.

[1FinickyOne]

7 hours ago, Brunolem said:

There might be a misunderstanding here.

What I meant to say was, for example: I tell my wife to ask a neighbor if he can give me a hand to move something.

That, at least to me, is a yes or no kind of question.

 

Yet, once my wife starts talking with the neighbor, it is going to last for ten minutes!

Sometime, I will interrupt and say "so is it yes or no?" and she will say "wait" and go on talking with the neighbor.

 

When it's about asking for directions, the talking is so long that I have time to take a nap in the car...

 

Yes, my wife would do the same... she would consider it impolite to be that direct... she would be uncomfortable asking for a favor in the first place... I would be more abrupt... 

[MeHere]

If my wife answered my questions like that, I'd be looking for a new wife three months ago

[norrska]

2 hours ago, Brunolem said:

No bait here,  just a regular comment.

 

Thailand may be number one for education spending, but then it doesn't get a good return on its money.

 

Thailand constantly ranks last or close to last in inter Asean student competitions, especially in English where it somehow manages to finish behind powerhouses such as Burma or Laos!

 

On top of that, students IQ below 100 in universities, and below 90 in high schools are the worrying measured average...needless to say that these numbers are quickly pushed under the rug until next time...

If you don't like it, why not leave?

[norrska]

1 hour ago, Brunolem said:

My marriage is probably where one could expect it to be after almost 20 years, with its highs and its lows.

 

As incredible as it may seem, my initial post was really out of curiosity, and not about checking the status of my marriage.

 

From the multiple answers gathered, it would seem that we are in a fifty-fifty situation, that is, one half of the members dealing with similar issues as mine, and one half considering that my case is desperate.

Would love to hear you wife's opinion about you.  Any chance you can get her to make a post here?