Understanding Thai Ladies

[bermannor]

8 minutes ago, KhaoYai said:

There's a lot more than that too.

Yes, a couple of ice cold Chang for breakfast!

But joke by side, there are quite a few very successful expat farmers in Isaan and where the mia luang is very proud of her husband.

The only problem might be envy in the village.

Edited August 6, 2018 by bermannor
Addition

[4MyEgo]

8 hours ago, neeray said:

Above seems like pretty good, experienced-based advice. Here's another thought. Take that holiday that many posters have suggested. Thais don't like losing face! Imagine how much face she'll lose when you disappear and she can't give the village an answer as to when you will return. Maybe that will knock some sense and respect into her. Maybe she'll contact you and be willing to rekindle the affection and everything else that has gone missing.

I wish you the best of luck.

That's very true, and good advice, my sister-in-law who lives in the same village as us and who we don't really have much to do with, still tells people that her farang husband comes when he can as its hard for him to live here because of his successful businesses, and when he can comes they stay at 5 star hotels in the city where she meets up with him and his daughter for a weekend, and then he is off to one of his businesses in the Philippines.

 

He left her 3 years ago when his daughter was 2, he will NEVER have her back.

 

She wants him back, even though she has someone else who doesn't contribute to her expenses, but sleeps at her house and in the same bed.

 

Mrs did explain to me when I couldn't make any sense of why she wanted him back, she said that it has to do with what you are saying, 'lose of face', I then replied with; OMG, what will you then when I leave you, her laughing and looking at me seriously and saying, " I follow you"

Edited August 6, 2018 by 4MyEgo

[neeray]

5 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

That's very true, and good advice, my sister-in-law who lives in the same village as us and who we don't really have much to do with, still tells people that her farang husband comes when he can as its hard for him to live here because of his successful businesses, and when he can comes they stay at 5 star hotels in the city where she meets up with him and his daughter for a weekend, and then he is off to one of his businesses in the Philippines.

 

He left her 3 years ago when his daughter was 2, he will NEVER have her back.

 

She wants him back, even though she has someone else who doesn't contribute to her expenses, but sleeps at her house and in the same bed.

 

Mrs did explain to me when I couldn't make any sense of why she wanted him back, she said that it has to do with what you are saying, 'lose of face', I then replied with; OMG, what will you then when I leave you, her laughing and looking at me seriously and saying, " I follow you"

Sister-in-law is telling some serious porkies (untruths).

[4MyEgo]

Just now, neeray said:

Sister-in-law is telling some serious porkies (untruths).

Absolutely, my Mrs used to get asked things at the local market from vendors about her sister, and she just smiled and one day said, you know what, if I don't see things with my own eyes, I don't believe them, and I don't know what goes on in my sisters life as I see my husband and children every day, that said is enough to say, don't involve me and don't listen to all the porkies you hear. 

 

My Mrs told her mum that her sister is still telling people how she is still married and that he visits her frequently when he travels to the Philippines for business and she stays at the 5 star with him up the road, about an hours drive usually every 2nd 3rd weekend as he needs to see his daughter, yeh right, been a good year or two since he seen her.

[pgrahmm]

5 hours ago, neeray said:

I have a friend in Canada who had (had = past tense) a friend who married a Pinay. She talked him into selling his house in Canada and building in Ph. They built the house in her name, shared his cash and then suddenly friends and family back home would message and call and receive no communications back. Go figure!

That was 5 years ago. But I imagine the flower gardens are growing well.

Yep.....Happens there.....

[Skypirate]

5 hours ago, TumblinDice said:

A quote from the book...

When you begin to fraternize with a woman, you are taking the first steps in a ritual mating dance that, if allowed to progress, will result in your moving about the floor in a semi-comatose state until you are fleeced of your money, property, and peace of mind. A predatory female will study you. She learns to know what you are thinking. She begins the strongest primeval death grip known to man.

My favorite chapter is the Chameleon Syndrome.....how exactly true it is.

[tifino]

5 minutes ago, Skypirate said:

My favorite chapter is the Chameleon Syndrome.....how exactly true it is.

 

especially if someone sees his, as a cold blooded lizard ??

[rumak]

6 hours ago, TunnelRat69 said:

and have fun doing it...............

Or:   and be made fun of doing it..........................

[rumak]

6 hours ago, TunnelRat69 said:

On 8/5/2018 at 10:24 AM, rumak said:

Easy Solution !!!!     move on.     Make same mistake again .

and have fun doing it...............

Or..... and be made fun of doing it .........

 

 

 

Edited August 7, 2018 by rumak

[KhaoYai]

53 minutes ago, bermannor said:

Yes, a couple of ice cold Chang for breakfast!

I was thinking more of travel, fun, going around doing what YOU want to do and generally enjoying your freedom.

[Peterw42]

2 hours ago, bermannor said:

Sorry, but he is not Thai, he has no kids, he is too old for a mia noi and may not afford one or more mia nois. Don't forget, he lives in a village.

I am also not sure if expats who have mia nois, are really accepted in Thai society, specially in rural areas.

And most imported: Does he have the character to have a mia noi?

In my opinion a totally stupid recommendation.

Thank you for your opinion but mentioning Mia Noi wasn't actually a recommendation, it was mentioned to help the OP "understand Thai ladies", the title of the thread. It may help the OP to understand why his partner considers a sexless relationship to be normal, why the OPs partner thinks she is not doing anything wrong, and why the OP is called a trouble maker if he questions her.

[The Deerhunter]

On 8/5/2018 at 10:03 AM, Vacuum said:

In a divorce she have to, whether she wants or not.

He never mentioned marriage so I guess there is nothing to divorce.  She is is not necessarily a typical Thai but she is typical of a certain subset of women. They tell you they are difficult but warn you they have no intention of changing. I had one of those and she was Thai but I dont think it is a Thai exclusive. Truth be known I had two of them.  My first wife as well but I was too young to see it for too many years

My Thai GF told me she had too many problems for any man to deal with and after several months I found out what she meant. I paid her off and sent her home.  It hurt but it was necessary.  My life had suddenly got a new light shined on it.

I think it is quite clear that your girl''s "black and white" statement was a warning of future intentions of some type that she knew you were not going to like.

Does she have her own job or income?  Money might well be the only place where you fit in to her new life now.

Unless you are a Buddhist life is not a rehearsal. You are only here once.

If you can afford to lose the house investment then don't waste your life there.  Move out and back to rent somewhere more friendly.  Don't buy a condo or get in any permanent relationships for a while.  She might ask you to come back.  If she does, make sure it is not just for her monthly income.  Tell her that life is a two way street. Good luck.

[JAZZDOG]

17 hours ago, sawadee1947 said:

leave her, the house and the village. She got what she was working for after 6 long years. Give her the house as overpriced salary and have a free and happy life until the end.

Look here OP, You had a 6 year run that has gone south. Could have been you that got tired of the relationship but it was her first. Say your out 2M over what you might otherwise have in the bank. That's 900 baht per day of getting serviced, feed, maid ect. Not a bad deal, get free, she's the one that's going to suffer once your gone.

 

 

[rumak]

2 hours ago, The Deerhunter said:

She might ask you to come back.  If she does, make sure it is not just for her monthly income.  Tell her that life is a two way street. Good luck.

You gotta be kidding ?     

[metisdead]

Bickering troll posts and the replies have been removed. 

[The Deerhunter]

21 minutes ago, rumak said:

You gotta be kidding ?     

No.  Just a hopeless optimist.  Not everyone likes to be told we are stupid.  We don't know everything about this situation or her.  They have been together for 7 years.  It might be a bump in the road, not a head on collision.   Probably the latter but give them both some credit.  The number of times I have thought it was all over for friends with apparently insoluble problems but they worked it out.

[The Deerhunter]

5 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

That's very true, and good advice, my sister-in-law who lives in the same village as us and who we don't really have much to do with, still tells people that her farang husband comes when he can as its hard for him to live here because of his successful businesses, and when he can comes they stay at 5 star hotels in the city where she meets up with him and his daughter for a weekend, and then he is off to one of his businesses in the Philippines.

 

He left her 3 years ago when his daughter was 2, he will NEVER have her back.

 

She wants him back, even though she has someone else who doesn't contribute to her expenses, but sleeps at her house and in the same bed.

 

Mrs did explain to me when I couldn't make any sense of why she wanted him back, she said that it has to do with what you are saying, 'lose of face', I then replied with; OMG, what will you then when I leave you, her laughing and looking at me seriously and saying, " I follow you"

With or without a big sharp knife???????????

[Hummin]

[rumak]

35 minutes ago, The Deerhunter said:

No.  Just a hopeless optimist.  Not everyone likes to be told we are stupid.  We don't know everything about this situation or her.  They have been together for 7 years.  It might be a bump in the road, not a head on collision.   Probably the latter but give them both some credit.  The number of times I have thought it was all over for friends with apparently insoluble problems but they worked it out.

You're right.  I felt a (little) guilty assuming that she was the only problem.  For sure there are plenty

of guys that act in ways that one might say som nom nah when things go bad.  Maybe they are jerks,

or choose the "wrong" girl , etc, etc.   

Have to admit though, six years is a long time to be with someone and not see the red flags. But, maybe he is the red flag  ..haha.    I do know , like many others here, that often nice guys get taken for a long

and painful ride by that lovely thai smile.   I'm pretty sure that's why so many say...pack your bags to the

OP.   Might be she will help him ....

[rumak]

11 hours ago, See Will said:

same old story since years..

Mine id different, mine works in a Restaurant and as soon out of sight she will be found hot dressed in hip waving in Insomnia walking street.

 

I guess its about 60% the story Love, new mobile phone, scooter for father, buffalo surgery and Grandma's bad sh*t... 

and when all has been paid the test drill in the wallet is over...

...and the serious love story starts, a car or even a house? 

then she turns over into a sexual dead zombie just to get rid of you...

 

14 years ago I bumped into a girl in Isaan working on a rice field, didn't speak English and as we came together:

No I do NOT want a house, No just put the money on YOUR Bank account and put the household money incl rent on mine.

 

5 years ago I heard a wimping from the bedroom and as I asked whats wrong, she replied with her open bank book on her chest.

You have learned me so much, also what 1Mil baht is in Numbers on the calculator.

But, How does it look like, is it a table or a room full?

I replied "why you ask me?"

"because I have been by the bank since a long time to print my Bank Book with the household money, and the bank gave me so much extra that it is now over one Million.."

 

She might be one of the 40% but she was not found in walking street or even in a restaurant in Jomtien..  

She is my little Farmer's girl, loves singing in her garden, is stunned what you can teach a dog if you care, almost never goes out

and shopping ends up in looking for a Magazine, checking for a dress not more than 300 baht and working one week sewing on it until the style of the one in the Magazine is copied.

When I am asking for what occasion she will wear it the answer is mostly .. when my sister comes I will show her I can.. 

 

If I would be you I would have said good bye already and taking the next 40% chance finding the right one.. there are lots out there, not all Thai Girls are bad.. 

 

sounds like a nice story.  ( i was hoping for some pictures though)   ?

[Straight8]

On 8/5/2018 at 9:32 AM, NCC1701A said:

A good way to know if you are delusional about your relationship is to take a photo of yourself and your girlfriend standing together side by side.   

 

look at the photo and ask yourself how realistic would it be for you to be having this same experience in the west?

 

 

 

Good advice, but that would require some of the guys here to apply a reality check, which most just do not want to do. You only see what you want to see!!

 

I guess being a fool with your money does have some benefits....while it lasts.

[Straight8]

20 hours ago, sawadee1947 said:

leave her, the house and the village. She got what she was working for after 6 long years. Give her the house as overpriced salary and have a free and happy life until the end.

An most of all, don't be an idiot and <deleted> up again!!!!

 

They don't love you, only your money.

 

Rent...don't buy & you'll be better off in the long run.

[pgrahmm]

12 hours ago, See Will said:

same old story since years..

Mine id different, mine works in a Restaurant and as soon out of sight she will be found hot dressed in hip waving in Insomnia walking street.

 

I guess its about 60% the story Love, new mobile phone, scooter for father, buffalo surgery and Grandma's bad sh*t... 

and when all has been paid the test drill in the wallet is over...

...and the serious love story starts, a car or even a house? 

then she turns over into a sexual dead zombie just to get rid of you...

 

14 years ago I bumped into a girl in Isaan working on a rice field, didn't speak English and as we came together:

No I do NOT want a house, No just put the money on YOUR Bank account and put the household money incl rent on mine.

 

5 years ago I heard a wimping from the bedroom and as I asked whats wrong, she replied with her open bank book on her chest.

You have learned me so much, also what 1Mil baht is in Numbers on the calculator.

But, How does it look like, is it a table or a room full?

I replied "why you ask me?"

"because I have been by the bank since a long time to print my Bank Book with the household money, and the bank gave me so much extra that it is now over one Million.."

 

She might be one of the 40% but she was not found in walking street or even in a restaurant in Jomtien..  

She is my little Farmer's girl, loves singing in her garden, is stunned what you can teach a dog if you care, almost never goes out

and shopping ends up in looking for a Magazine, checking for a dress not more than 300 baht and working one week sewing on it until the style of the one in the Magazine is copied.

When I am asking for what occasion she will wear it the answer is mostly .. when my sister comes I will show her I can.. 

 

If I would be you I would have said good bye already and taking the next 40% chance finding the right one.. there are lots out there, not all Thai Girls are bad.. 

 

Thanks for sharing....Our wives seem very similar, personality wise.... 

 

Wouldn't trade her (farm girl, raised - central TH) for anything....A "life's" success story in her own right before we met.....

 

Glad you also found a great one...

[Shouldhaveknownbetter]

Just now, KhaoYai said:

No matter what you say or try, nothing will change - all that will happen is you'll have wasted a few more weeks/months before the inevitable happens. Leave now and save yourself that hassle.  Even if a miracle happened and you sorted things out - you're not going to accept Thai village life, its a rare western man who can. As you say, you do absolutely nothing. They do nothing - sit around on those bloody wooden platforms all day - there's more to life.

 

Think back, there will have been signs but I bet you missed them - I did.  When I was just dating my Ex, I bought a house in Khao Yai that I'd previously told the owner I would be interested in if it ever came up for sale.  She was really pissed off and said her village was in Buriram.  I didn't realise the significance of that as I'd only known her 3 months and marriage had never been talked about. She worked on the Eastern Seaboard at the time but clearly (as it seems now) had our future mapped out - which involved me building a house in a shithole Isaan village, moving there and dying of boredom - I didn't, I'm now divorced and still alive.

 

As an aside, I did find probably the only advantage of the Thai land laws - foreigners not being able to own land. On divorce I had absolutley no assets because of course, I don't own the house at Khao Yai do I?  I can't ?. (I'm perfectly happy with the way I do control that house though)

If one is to take the risk of building a home for their true love in Thailand, just remember NEVER NEVER build it in or near her village.

[JLCrab]

Well I'm not going to make a claim that the girl is in the 'nice' category, but she put up a fight to recover some property that should have rightfully been hers even under threats of violence. She was able to get good lawyers (with my financial backing) and after maybe 2 years the land was put in her name. Even though -- as I put it -- she is five foot nothing, she is tough as nails and those who stole her property, expecting that she would be in no position to do anything about it,  never knew what hit them.

BTW this 20 rai property is in Bangkok out near the airport so go figure.

[Mac98]

Pay her 7,000 a month to be your maid/cook and bring home a new partner to fulfil her negated portion of the contract. That should be interesting.

[jenny2017]

On ‎8‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 12:10 PM, Bangkokbob62 said:

Life is too short move on!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Lynyrd Skynyrd have a great answer: Sing "Freebird" while you're packing. A great way to go. 

 

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.

But if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows I can't change.

Bye, bye, baby, it's been a sweet love, yeah,
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it so badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.   ?

 

 

[jenny2017]

3 hours ago, Mac98 said:

Pay her 7,000 a month to be your maid/cook and bring home a new partner to fulfil her negated portion of the contract. That should be interesting.

It's really time for a service where unsatisfied customers can go back to the beerbar's Mama San, give her back and receive a newer and cooler model. 

[rumak]

4 hours ago, jenny2017 said:

Lynyrd Skynyrd have a great answer: Sing "Freebird" while you're packing. A great way to go. 

 

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.

But if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows I can't change.

Bye, bye, baby, it's been a sweet love, yeah,
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it so badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.   ?

 

 

damn, i was hoping you were going to go into the great guitar solo..............

[marqus12]

How to understand Thai ladies ? First of all, they are not ladies.

 

The easiest way to understand them is to look at the whole country.

Look at how work / behave ; policemen , immigration officials, government,

taxi drivers, a woman from a stall.

 

Thai women are like the rest of Thai citizens you meet . Thai women are the mothers

of this policemen who gives you fines even though you had all the papers OK

or the mothers of this taxi drivers with whom you were traveling with the meter

on triple acceleration...