Thank goodness for this forum

As told to Graham Norton by Matt LeBlanc

A man wins a trip to meet the Pope and he can barely contain himself as he is on the plane to Italy. He makes his way to the Vatican where he meets the group of 50 or so other men and women who will be meeting the Pope that day. They chat anxiously while waiting and are finally told to form a line as the Pope arrives. The man is at the back of the line.

The Pope approaches the person at the front of the line and delivers them a blessing. He then slowly approaches the second in line and blesses them as well. Now the third guy in line is a scruffy fellow, with dirty long hair and a tattered overcoat, he looks like a homeless person. When the Pope meets him, rather than just a blessing he reaches forwards and gives the scruffy man a hug, then the Pope continues down the line, blessing people as he goes.

The man at the back is now thinking 'well, I don't just want a blessing, I want a hug too!' so he sneaks to the front of the line and approaches the homeless man. 'I'll give you €1000 euros for your jacket' he says, the homeless man agrees and gives up his jacket.

The man now hurries back to his place at the back of the line and sure enough when the Pope reaches him he pulls him close for a hug. As they're embracing the Pope leans in close and whispers:

'I thought I told you to get the <deleted> out of here?'

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