Breaking up with my Thai girlfriend

[OneMoreFarang]

26 minutes ago, oldrunner said:

I remember the old days, (and I'm really old), when you left money for evening of service (or afternoon) on the bed or dresser. Both parties knew the proper amount and no hard feelings ensued.

So what's the proper amount for three years?

[tingtongtourist]

41 minutes ago, ajarnmarc said:

Break up by phone is the worst way to go about it...you are just setting yourself up for slander later, and complete destruction of everything you own or value where you stay. 

Times like this; though I can relate, are easier said than actually done,

we must face up to the challenge, and be pleased if we actually have a way out...?

I for one am still working to figure out my way out,

but I'm certain I won't do it over the phone or from a distance.

i think theres some of us joking around here about Thai lady and being dangerous 

and this being farang pub, i go about the phone thing because these stories we heard for many years, guys getting chased and stabbed...etc

 

But to talk serious, a guy knows if the girl is crazy enough to make a problem so you must adapt to the situation

 

honest, best for me has been the Thai way.. 

invent some BS /OUT/excuse/story/ that she can use to explain to others and sound believable and nobody at fault or loose face.

 

at the worst time can be done with planning and timing:

wait to breakup just before the next trip back to your country, with some invention of a minor disaster/family tradgedy you must attend..

then dissapear. very easy!

 

the best advice i can say about to deal with Thai GF:

 

some guys are silly and tell there GF everything!

then the GF will always be one step ahead of you, and plan how to play you.

 

never, NEVER tell anything about you, your plan, or your planned moovement, until you absolutely must! even stuff you think is not important.

if they know none of your family details you have freedom to invent brother/ sister need help.lol

this save me many times already!

 

no 1: this include times you will come/go from Thailand.

keep all to yourself!

 

[dallen52]

22 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

If the ..."It's not you its me"............line doesn't work, then you can always tell her that you went to see a Mordoo and he advised you part for ..............................fill in the blank

Use the family line.

Tell her you have feelings for her brother/boyfriend/husband, 

(Maybe all the same person).

And tell her it's not fair to the family if it's found out. 

 

Should work nicely.  

Unless it's the money only, and then the family will say ok ok. Mai bpen rai. 

Just keep the money coming. 

[OneMoreFarang]

43 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

i think theres some of us joking around here about Thai lady and being dangerous 

and this being farang pub, i go about the phone thing because these stories we heard for many years, guys getting chased and stabbed...etc

 

But to talk serious, a guy knows if the girl is crazy enough to make a problem so you must adapt to the situation

 

honest, best for me has been the Thai way.. 

invent some BS /OUT/excuse/story/ that she can use to explain to others and sound believable and nobody at fault or loose face.

 

at the worst time can be done with planning and timing:

wait to breakup just before the next trip back to your country, with some invention of a minor disaster/family tradgedy you must attend..

then dissapear. very easy!

 

the best advice i can say about to deal with Thai GF:

 

some guys are silly and tell there GF everything!

then the GF will always be one step ahead of you, and plan how to play you.

 

never, NEVER tell anything about you, your plan, or your planned moovement, until you absolutely must! even stuff you think is not important.

if they know none of your family details you have freedom to invent brother/ sister need help.lol

this save me many times already!

 

no 1: this include times you will come/go from Thailand.

keep all to yourself!

 

I don't think guys are joking here about knifes, etc. They seem to be not uncommon at all.

 

And about never telling her anything: The "problem" is that some of us really love our girlfriends and want to be together with her for a long time - until we change our mind.

If you know already from the beginning that you will break up then I suggest renting is the better solution for all involved.

[BritManToo]

49 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't think guys are joking here about knifes,

Thai girls are very handy with knives, even if it's only to destroy your passport, clothes, and bank book.

[sydneyjed]

Are there any property/valuables  or joint belongings involved here?This of course may/will complicate 'the extraction' process making it a bit more painful!I hasten to add with my two bobs worth based on experience is to kill the relationship stone dead... take a prolonged holiday and get away from 'the circle of so called friends' also!

[RickFarang]

I have plenty of times in Thailand. If you are on good terms with her. Let her down gently and always be kind to her. If she has come to depend on you for support, continue to support her but let her know you cannot do that for very long. Don't leave her stranded.

 

On the other hand, the one who was always scheming to get me to giver her more and more money and of whom I had photos of her with other men and the one who was going through my desk taking money that was not offered were both informed and abruptly dropped.

 

Depends on whether they were evil or not.

[NoshowJones]

On 10/25/2018 at 7:21 AM, Hayduke said:

 

Learn the words to all of Uncle’s songs and sing them constantly. She’ll be gone in the time it takes to pack.

 

 

Yes, especially if you have a voice like Peltin Elton, or the guy who sang "Tiptoe Through the Tulips". ????

[Mac98]

Get a buddy to seduce her and then catch her in the act. Be sure and threaten him in front of her so he has a reason to keep his distance. Then, despite your crushed heart, give a generous amount to help her move. 

[NoshowJones]

13 hours ago, alex8912 said:

Don’t know if this has been mentioned yet.  Are you 27 or 67? Makes a big difference.

or if you are a member of the "Fat, ugly, tattooed, facial haired" brigade. Oh wait!, in that case, you will probably be financing her family as well as her, and you will need all your'e money for the next one.

[tingtongtourist]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't think guys are joking here about knifes, etc. They seem to be not uncommon at all.

 

And about never telling her anything: The "problem" is that some of us really love our girlfriends and want to be together with her for a long time - until we change our mind.

If you know already from the beginning that you will break up then I suggest renting is the better solution for all involved.

up to you of course!

For me a long time ago i learnt that you using "love" and rules of western LOVE with the Thai lady..

well sir, you will be like the lamb led to a slaughter!!

 

can you see a contradiction you just said the threat of knives is real but you gonna treat them like a western lady?

well a western lady never threatened to stab me!

this is for sure sign that western rules dont count!

 

but of course the exception it dont apply if you can say "mine is different"

lol 

 

[tingtongtourist]

2 hours ago, sydneyjed said:

Are there any property/valuables  or joint belongings involved here?This of course may/will complicate 'the extraction' process making it a bit more painful!I hasten to add with my two bobs worth based on experience is to kill the relationship stone dead... take a prolonged holiday and get away from 'the circle of so called friends' also!

good advice..

also to OP..

have you got a business here?

or do something that might cause trouble?

 

cannot count over the years how many stories read on TV about "ex Thai GF grassed me into police"

 

you must be very careful to consider before doing anything or getting angry

[khaowong1]

Ha ha ha . ... Nope, don't see it happening.  That free meal ticket for her and her family means a hell of a lot more to her than your happiness.  Goodbye and thanks for all the fish. 

[Miami007]

A friend told me many years ago that: "When I want to break up with a girl I let her catch me at a lie".. not sure whether that will work in Thailand

 

Depending on circumstances, you may want to tell her that you are having problems at work and can no longer support her.  If she is with you for the money, that will do the trick most likely (and quite interestingly, when you stop support, they will not starve. but find a way to support themselves).  If she has her own career and money, it's a different story.

Regardless of location, break-ups are hard

Best of luck

 

 

 

[Na Lee]

A fistful after 3 years is about 200000 bht. She happy, family happy, you happy. And change sim card, block her on Line, facebook and email. And move to another place.

[totally thaied up]

10 hours ago, Geck0 said:

losing a farang boyfriend = losing face = DRAMA

 

9 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Disappearing is the best option.

Thai women are usually insanely jealous. They have a good life with a falang, who in most cases is providing support. Then they come crashing back to earth when he says he wants to end it. They've lost their lifestyle, and lost face in front of their friends and family. I can't think how that situation is going to end well.

For the last two, I packed my bags in the middle of the night and told them it was over in the morning. I flew back home for a few months, in fact, and got myself together and started again but with no contact. They both lost lifestyle and face. I was the Golden Goose and just to see me and my money (should be lack of it) walk away, was just too much for them. 

 

Much easier bugging out of town if they are jealous (and they are) and if they had an easy life with you not to mention safer. At a later date, I had one of them show up to the front of my new condo (when I came back) and tried to get me to sit in the car to talk to them but I saw a knife on the car seat and friends said they will call the police. I have seen with my own eyes one guy's girlfriend that got grassed out for sleeping with another farang take a big chop chop knife and bury it into the guy's motorcycle helmet with him wearing it.

 

No harm was done but he was lucky. 

 

So yes, it can be intense. 

[Kadilo]

Grow some balls, walk away and change phone number 

Yeah that takes really big balls.


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[MyFriend You]

On 10/25/2018 at 12:42 AM, expat1010 said:

I would rather not been perceived by my friend’s GFs/wives as the bad actor in this breakup, as I would expect my next GF will likely come from an introduction from this group. Thanks

This is not going to end well, if your soon to be ex, is part of that circle, and knows your soon to be GF.............that other guys avatar is what will happen (Ka Boom)  I see Acid and Knives in your future.

[KKBrian]

On 10/26/2018 at 1:07 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

How exactly do you make sure she is not losing face?

I get the part of not showing off your new girlfriend while she is still around.

But it seem for some (many?) Thai women they think they lose face just by the fact that you don't want to be together with them anymore. It seems lots of Thais have this idea that is a guy wants to end a relationship then she must have done something wrong. Maybe she didn't clean the house or couldn't cook or she was no fun in bed - it must have been something she did or didn't do somehow.

I know this does not make much sense from a "western" point of view. But it seems that is what lots of Thais think.

But pleas correct me if I am wrong or give us an idea how to make sure if is not losing face.

The person who is being dumped loses face.

Therefore make the excuse totally your fault example you have problems with money and cannot afford to keep them and although they are fantastic it is only fair to them that you mutually agree to part as you can not provide and apologize and explain that this is your fault and that it is you that is losing face. Do not dump them that is what makes them lose face.

As you rightly say not an easy thing to in this culture I totally agree.

[OneMoreFarang]

5 hours ago, KKBrian said:

The person who is being dumped loses face.

Therefore make the excuse totally your fault example you have problems with money and cannot afford to keep them and although they are fantastic it is only fair to them that you mutually agree to part as you can not provide and apologize and explain that this is your fault and that it is you that is losing face. Do not dump them that is what makes them lose face.

As you rightly say not an easy thing to in this culture I totally agree.

That reminds me of the farang who was out with his friends and it was late and finally he was with his takeaway in the taxi. So he called his Thai girlfriend and told her he is still partying with his friends and it will take some time before he will return home.

And then he drove to the short time hotel to have some fun.

The only problem was that he didn't end that phone call and his girlfriend heard lots of details which she was not supposed to hear.

Big problem!

And the Thai solution: The girlfriend told him there is only one way how he can rectify that situation. What?

Marry her (the girlfriend). That was the gf's solution to this problem...

Believe it or not it's a true story.

[tingtongtourist]

On 10/26/2018 at 10:20 PM, Na Lee said:

A fistful after 3 years is about 200000 bht. She happy, family happy, you happy. And change sim card, block her on Line, facebook and email. And move to another place.

Are you saying this 200k is like a superannuation payout for your ex?

After just 3 year?

the mind boggles!

 

[sharktooth]

I’m an advocate of the “midnight flit”

[rumak]

Look forward to hearing from the OP  after the breakup  ( maybe 2 days...then 2 weeks later).   Would like to know whose advice he followed.....and how it worked out

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, rumak said:

Look forward to hearing from the OP  after the breakup  ( maybe 2 days...then 2 weeks later).   Would like to know whose advice he followed.....and how it worked out

I agree. And in case he leaves town for two weeks I also like to hear about the weeks after he returned...

[rumak]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I agree. And in case he leaves town for two weeks I also like to hear about the weeks after he returned...

OMF......... amazing how many of us have "experience" in these matters   ????      Still a few factors that

determine the outcome .   The "crazy" ones you definitely can't reason with.... but then again some might say they're all a little crazy.   guess that's part of "thainess" .   lol

[BritManToo]

14 minutes ago, rumak said:

OMF......... amazing how many of us have "experience" in these matters   ????      Still a few factors that

determine the outcome .   The "crazy" ones you definitely can't reason with.... but then again some might say they're all a little crazy.   guess that's part of "thainess" .   lol

Crazy girls are best in bed.

[OneMoreFarang]

11 minutes ago, rumak said:

The "crazy" ones you definitely can't reason with.... but then again some might say they're all a little crazy.   guess that's part of "thainess"

And I guess at least some of us love these crazy girls - if they are crazy the way we like it.

Who wants a normal, boring, good girl when lots of crazy hot bad girls are available? ????

[rumak]

19 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And I guess at least some of us love these crazy girls - if they are crazy the way we like it.

Who wants a normal, boring, good girl when lots of crazy hot bad girls are available? ????

just nostalgia for some of us.  now if you tell me you had this crazy young thing in your arms i would be a little envious.  OMG.. i just read that tatoo.   it says "I love farang"

Edited October 28, 2018 by rumak

[rumak]

we all have our stories....well, some of us.... and photos to go along.   definitely a thread meant for

another forum i would imagine.   some tough censors here

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, rumak said:

just nostalgia for some of us.  now if you tell me you had this crazy young thing in your arms i would be a little envious

No, I don't know her in person, but I saved the picture when I saw it somewhere on the internet. ????

Apart from that I remember a couple of crazy hot Thai girls - many from the time before high resolution cameras in smart phones...