Worst Joke Ever 2024

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A cricketer was hit by a ball on his crotch. At the hospital, the doctor prescribed an ointment to be applied over his private part everyday. 

 

On the first day, the Matron took upon herself the duty of applying the ointment. After completing her duty, the matron came out of the VIP ward with a big smile on her face. 

 

A pretty looking young nurse who saw her could not believe that the matron would ever smile! The matron, controlling herself said, "These cricketers are funny fellows. 

 

He has got his name 'JOHN' tattooed on his private part!"

The curious young nurse asked whether she could apply the ointment the next day.

 

 Getting permission, she carried out her job the next day and came out blushing.

The matron was surprised and asked her what was the matter.

 

The young nurse replied "Madam, his name is not JOHN."

"It is JOHNATHAN  HENRY." 

 

In Physics, this is known as *The Coefficient of Linear Expansion* 
 

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[Crossy]

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.”

 

The cat thought for a moment and then said, “All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard, wooden floors… I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.”

 

God said, “Say no more.” Instantly, the cat had a HUGE fluffy pillow.

 

A few days later, 12 mice were simultaneously killed in an accident and they all went up to Heaven together. God met the mice at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, with the exact same offer that He made to the cat.

 

The mice said, “Well, we have had to run all of our lives… from cats, dogs, and even from people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller-skates, we would never have to run again.”

 

God answered, “It is done.” All the mice had beautiful little roller-skates.

 

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat… He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, “Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?”

 

The cat replied, “Oh, everything is just WONDERFUL… I’ve never been so happy in my life! My pillow is always fluffy and those little “Meals-on-Wheels” that You have been sending over are delicious.”

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Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in an Indian restaurant in New York. Sid asked Al, 'Are there any Jewish people of our faith born and raised in India?'
 
Al replied, 'I don't know, let's just ask our waiter.'

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, 'Are there any Indian Jews?'

The waiter said, 'I won't be knowing, but I will ask the chef. After he returned from the kitchen a few minutes later and said, 'No sir, no Indian Jews.'
 
Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, 'Are you absolutely sure?'

The waiter, realizing he was dealing with 'foreigners' gave the expected answer, 'I check again,' and went back into the kitchen.
 
While the waiter was away in the kitchen, Sid said, 'I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in India. Our people are scattered everywhere.'

The waiter returned and said, 'The Chef and the Captain my boss and they all say there is no Indian Jews.'
 
'Are you certain?' Al asked once again, 'I just can't believe there are no Indian Jews!' 
  
Listen, I asked EVERYONE,' replied the frustrated waiter. 'All we have is Mango Jews, Pineapple Jews, Orange Jews, Coconut Jews & Tomato Jews!   

No Indian Jews OK!!!!!???!!!  

[KannikaP]

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