Worst Joke Ever 2024

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[scottiejohn]

HOW REARRANGED LETTERS MAY LOOK!

DORMITORY                            DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN                         BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER                         MOON STARER
DESPERATION                         A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES                                 THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH                         HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE                     HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES                         CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY                              IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS                     LIES LET'S RECOUNT                                                     (Trump that one!)
MOTHER IN LAW                         WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS                         ALAS NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT                     IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES                     THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO                     TWELVE PLUS ONE
 

Edited June 19, 2023 by scottiejohn

[scottiejohn]

I know where a Chickens wings are but where’s a chicken’s nuggets?
 

[scottiejohn]

What a beautiful day for dashing out to Trafalgar Square, chucking a bucket of whitewash over the pigeons and saying,

‘There you are, how do you like it?’

(Ken Dodd)
 

[scottiejohn]

A laugh is a noise that comes out of your face — anywhere else and you’re in big trouble.

[scottiejohn]

How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up?

Shine a torch in her earhole.
 

[scottiejohn]

Our farmers, working hard to grow fresh British food. Much better than that frozen stuff from Iceland.

 

PS;  For non Brits "Iceland) is also the name of a UK high street frozen food outlet!

[scottiejohn]

I’ve never wronged an onion so why do they make me cry?
 

[Crossy]

Jeff Bridges: Starman (1984)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088172/characters/nm0000313

 

[Starman is driving the car, and speeds across a recently turned red light, causing crashes for the other motorists] 

Starman : Okay?

Jenny Hayden : Okay? Are you crazy? You almost got us killed! You said you watched me, you said you knew the rules!

Starman : I do know the rules.

Jenny Hayden : Oh, for your information pal, that was a *yellow* light back there!

Starman : I watched you very carefully. Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast.

[scottiejohn]

What did the Irishman say to his doctor when he saw his X-ray:

‘I don’t remember eating all those bones.’
 

[Yellowtail]

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 

     I don't know and it's not funny! 

 

 

[scottiejohn]

8 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 

     I don't know and it's not funny! 

 

 

Do feminists "screw" at all?

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