Worst Joke Ever 2024

[roo860]

[carlyai]

34 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Oh, Minnie, you've fallen over. Let me help you up, my little flower.

I can stand up on my own, Henry.

Oh, my little self raising flower!

Ned, Echoes et. all. were on an underwater mission to find something (a motorised oven if I recall) and didn't know the directions so they knocked on this oyster to ask for directions.

Minn answered: 'H e l l OOo.'

Ned asked " hello, is Pearl in?".

Reply: 'No I'm her mother'.

'Ahhhhh, you must be Mother of Pearl'. :)

[roo860]

[roo860]

[ravip]

15 hours ago, roo860 said:

India land spaceship on the moon. Corner shop established day 1…

Just managed to get the outside view of the above shop.

[jvs]

49 minutes ago, roo860 said:

I did not see it but did i hear a mating call?

[isaanistical]

1 hour ago, carlyai said:

Ned, Echoes et. all. were on an underwater mission to find something (a motorised oven if I recall) and didn't know the directions so they knocked on this oyster to ask for directions.

Minn answered: 'H e l l OOo.'

Ned asked " hello, is Pearl in?".

Reply: 'No I'm her mother'.

'Ahhhhh, you must be Mother of Pearl'. ????

Bluebottle: "he's fallen in the water!"

[billd766]

1 hour ago, carlyai said:

Ned, Echoes et. all. were on an underwater mission to find something (a motorised oven if I recall) and didn't know the directions so they knocked on this oyster to ask for directions.

Minn answered: 'H e l l OOo.'

Ned asked " hello, is Pearl in?".

Reply: 'No I'm her mother'.

'Ahhhhh, you must be Mother of Pearl'. ????

This is awakening memories long forgotten from the 1950s.

 

Here is a youtube link.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Goon-Show-Compendium-One-Part/dp/1405678003

 

 

[roo860]

[roo860]

Man was having sex with a really fat woman, the man climbs on top of her.
"Can I turn the light off?" he asks.
"Why?" she replies, "do you find me repulsive?"
"No," he says, "it's burning my arse...

[roo860]

[VBF]

4 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Oh, Minnie, you've fallen over. Let me help you up, my little flower.

I can stand up on my own, Henry.

Oh, my little self raising flower!

One of my favourite lines - well done ????????????

[isaanistical]

3 hours ago, billd766 said:

This is awakening memories long forgotten from the 1950s.

If you were brought up on the Goons, how could you forget?!

 

And there must be kids out there, Americans, things like that, that have not got a clue what we are on about. I almost feel pity for them............

[carlyai]

28 minutes ago, isaanistical said:

If you were brought up on the Goons, how could you forget?!

 

And there must be kids out there, that, that have not got a clue what we are on about. I almost feel pity for them............

Bit ruff...'Americans, things like'. They do have a sense of humour you know.

 

 

 

 

 

[roo860]

[scottiejohn]

A small plane crashed in the middle of the desert. The pilot and co-pilot wandered around for days in search of food, but could find nothing.

Finally the co-pilot announced: ‘I’m so hungry....

I’m going to chop off my d!ck and eat it.’
‘Before you do,’ said the pilot. ‘Think of your girlfriend.’
‘What’s the point?

At this rate I will never see her again anyway.’
‘I know, but if you think of her first, hopefully there will be enough for both of us"!

Edited August 25, 2023 by scottiejohn

[scottiejohn]

[Crossy]

[Crossy]

[isaanistical]

2 hours ago, carlyai said:

They do have a sense of humour you know.

Ability to laugh is not the same as a sense of humour, as the fabulous Rich Hall points out in his act.

[billd766]

2 hours ago, isaanistical said:

If you were brought up on the Goons, how could you forget?!

 

And there must be kids out there, Americans, things like that, that have not got a clue what we are on about. I almost feel pity for them............

How could I forget?

 

At 79 I can get up from my desk to get something from the fridge and have forgotten what it was when I got there,

 

Quite often I have gone back to my desk and remember what it was though. 

[roo860]

[scottiejohn]

11 minutes ago, roo860 said:

Gee! Thanks for showing me where to find that cheesy spot!

[still kicking]

[still kicking]

[roo860]

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.  Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded,

nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, flummoxed, speechless, perplexed, and gobsmacked.

Meanwhile, those waiting for the shipment were at a loss for words.

Edited August 25, 2023 by roo860

[roo860]

Indian moon photo.

[Crossy]

[WorriedNoodle]

[Crossy]