Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[xylophone]

A young lady of doubtful intelligence is shopping in an elegant Paris perfumery and she asks the saleswomen to show her one of their perfumes.  "What is this called?" she asks.

"Come to me" replies the saleswoman. "Oh, that's interesting" exclaims the customer. The young lady then sprays herself with the perfume to experience its scent.  "No, I don't like it, it doesn't smell like cum to me”.

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

The optimist says: “The glass is half full.”

The pessimist says: “The glass is half empty.”

The engineer says: “The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”

[ravip]

What's the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets.

[ravip]

A vicar, doctor and engineer were playing a round of golf. They got to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole.

 

The engineer lost his patience, "What's going on? We’ve been here at least 20 minutes!"

 

The doctor nodded in agreement.

 

The vicar saw the green keeper walking by and shouted to him, "How come that group ahead of us are so slow?”

 

The green keeper replied, "Oh, they’re all blind firemen. They all lost their sight pulling school children out of a burning building, so they can play anytime for free.”

 

Everyone was silent for a few seconds.

 

The vicar finally said, "Oh dear. I’ll be sure to pray for them. Well done on such charitable work good fellow."

 

The doctor added, "Yes, well done to you. I’ll make sure they get the best treatment at the eye unit in the hospital too."

 

The engineer, arms folded, tapping his feet said, "Ok, but if they’re blind then why can’t they play at night?”

[roo860]

[jvs]

1 hour ago, ravip said:

The optimist says: “The glass is half full.”

The pessimist says: “The glass is half empty.”

The engineer says: “The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”

All depends what is in the glass?

[Crossy]

 

 

 

[ExpatOilWorker]

[fasteddie]

[fasteddie]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[Crossy]

"Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that, Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"Man? What is that Lord?"

"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy all your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord?"

"Well ... you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that, Lord? "

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring ... so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret ... you know, woman to woman."

[Crossy]