Worst Joke Ever 2024

[WorriedNoodle]

[tomazbodner]

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

That's why so many farang live on farms in Isaan! Finally I get it...

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[chickenslegs]

1 hour ago, WorriedNoodle said:

Took a while, but I think I got it.

[bluesofa]

[tifino]

51 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

 

 

maybe he was wearing one of these? ???? 

 

[tifino]

Poster Boy for the Woke agenda...

 

[roo860]

[roo860]

[fangless]

Elton John gets stopped by police

The officers however don’t recognise him, and Elton shows the a picture online.

Officer 1: I’m so sorry sir, we didn’t recognise you

Officer 2: yes but you were doing 55 in a 40 Sir Elton so, can we see your license?

The next day Elton who is locked in a cell, is screaming out : I didn’t do anything!
The officers replied: speeding and fraud? You call that nothing

Elton: but I’m not a fraud

Officer: yeah right, you had a fake license, who the he’ll is Reginald Dwight?

[fangless]

Heaven is a place where the police are English, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian, and everything is organized by the Swiss...

 

Hell, on the other hand, is where the police are German, the cooks are English, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the ..........(insert as required!.

[fangless]

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

 

 

"They send me a bloody BLIND policeman!"

[fangless]

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fasteddie]

8 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

.

So you were quiet by it then?

[Hamus Yaigh]

Son: “I was awarded the ‘Leslie Nielsen badge’ at school today”

Dad: “What's that?”

Son: “It's a big building full of pupils and teachers, but that's not important right now.”

[Hamus Yaigh]

Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip... Must dash.

[fangless]

1 hour ago, fasteddie said:

So you were quiet by it then?

Wouldn't you be quiet with them on show?

[fasteddie]

80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then 79,999 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the worldwide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the blonde starts crying and the 79,999 blondes begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 79,999 blondes jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"