Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ravip]

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth this morning.
Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.

[sanuk711]

[VocalNeal]

1 hour ago, sanuk711 said:

Be careful when you slam the car's door.

[VocalNeal]

3 hours ago, ravip said:

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth this morning.
Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.

Maybe you simply have to say "I'll ask her?"

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

3 hours ago, ravip said:

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth this morning.
Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.

Ball or aerosol?

Or was it for your armpits?

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

The wife and I have started joinery lessons.

One of the neighbours said “I didn’t know you were carpenters”

I said “We’ve only just begun”

[ballpoint]

What do you get if you cross a motorway with a fridge?

Killed.

[faraday]

[faraday]

[faraday]

[faraday]

[owl sees all]

More cat stuff.

 

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[chickenslegs]

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Ball or aerosol?

Or was it for your armpits?

Bought a deodorant stick today. Instructions say "remove cap & push up bottom" I can hardly walk but when I fart the room smells lovely.

[Crossy]

[Crossy]

[ballpoint]

14 minutes ago, roo860 said:

 

Doesn't mention the kiddies?

[ballpoint]

2 minutes ago, Crossy said:

Well, you've got to charge your cave submarine up somewhere.

[roo860]

[ballpoint]

The wife said "you know if I ever got alzheimer's I would commit suicide, rather than burden you with me" .

I said "that's the fifth time you've said that today"

[ballpoint]

My elderly neighbor and his wife just returned from holiday. While he was taking the luggage out of the car, I stepped out and said "wow nice tan, where did you go on holiday?"
He scratches his head a mumbles to himself a while, then says "um what's the name of that vine that grows up the side of walls and stuff?"
"Ivy!" I responded.
"That's it"
He then turns to the his house and yells " Ivy, where did we go on holiday?"

[ballpoint]

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie and decides to test it out at dinner that night. 

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, “I did some homework.“ The robot slaps the son.

The son says. “Ok, Ok. I was at a friend‘s house watching movies.“

Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?“

Son says, “Toy Story.“ The robot slaps the son.

Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching porn.“

Dad says, “What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was.“ The robot slaps the father.

Mum laughs and says, “Well, he certainly is your son.“ The robot slaps the mother.

[roo860]