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Why it's hard for an old man to get hired:

Interviewer: "What's your greatest weakness?"
Old Man: "My honesty."
Interviewer: "I don't think that's a weakness."
Old Man: "I don't give a <deleted> what you think."

Girl says to boyfriend "I really really like this Pair of Shoes".
"How much are they?" asks the boy.
"$350", says the girl, "but I left my purse at home".
Boy opens his wallet and the girl gets all excited.

"Here", he says, handing her $10, "catch a taxi home, get your purse, and I'll wait here".

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

What was left became -------

Judas's carry out.

Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,

"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . .

"Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

 

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.