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Worst Joke Ever 2026

Featured Replies

The missus said she was leaving me because I keep talking like a news reader .

More on that story later.

-----

My mother told me that the only time she ever saw my father cry was when I was born.

Apparently he wasn't expecting me to be black.

--

Unicefs' representative for Pakistan said that the floods are a disaster of "biblical proportions" He might want to rephrase that.

--

What do you call an Indian with pink hair? Ghandifloss.

--

A third of Pakistan is under water.. Please send what you can.

I've sent some pyrahanna fish.

--

I got knocked over by a cyclist today. It was my own fault though,

I was walking on the pavement.

---

They had to get a translator in at the benefits office today. Some cheeky git came in speaking English.

---

BREAKING NEWS: Boris Johnson to pay a surprise visit to the UK later today....

---

For many this winter the choice will be either heating or eating. So that?s

either the pensions crisis sorted out or the obesity crisis.

---

It must be an extremely worrying time for anybody who has dumped a body in a reservoir....

--

The man who invented personalised number plates has passed away.

His funeral takes place on TUE504Y at 11am.

------

Paddy's been stuck at home for 3 weeks now, wrapped in Electricians Tape.

He's Self Insulating.

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19 minutes ago, Crossy said:

 

Hands up everyone who tried to count the sheep :whistling:

I've seen so many posts on it in this forum that there must be something in it.

Still not seen any sheep pens in a particular part of Pattaya. 

  • Popular Post
3 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

The missus said she was leaving me because I keep talking like a news reader .

More on that story later.

-----

My mother told me that the only time she ever saw my father cry was when I was born.

Apparently he wasn't expecting me to be black.

--

Unicefs' representative for Pakistan said that the floods are a disaster of "biblical proportions" He might want to rephrase that.

--

What do you call an Indian with pink hair? Ghandifloss.

--

A third of Pakistan is under water.. Please send what you can.

I've sent some pyrahanna fish.

--

I got knocked over by a cyclist today. It was my own fault though,

I was walking on the pavement.

---

They had to get a translator in at the benefits office today. Some cheeky git came in speaking English.

---

BREAKING NEWS: Boris Johnson to pay a surprise visit to the UK later today....

---

For many this winter the choice will be either heating or eating. So that?s

either the pensions crisis sorted out or the obesity crisis.

---

It must be an extremely worrying time for anybody who has dumped a body in a reservoir....

--

The man who invented personalised number plates has passed away.

His funeral takes place on TUE504Y at 11am.

------

Paddy's been stuck at home for 3 weeks now, wrapped in Electricians Tape.

He's Self Insulating.

My father taught lessons in a strange way.

I told him I wanted to be a farmer and I would like some land to get started. He kicked me between the legs and said

There's two acres to start with.

1 hour ago, Zyxel said:

DontLieEyes.jpg.0a237fb98f0d1e08ff34a9fb82ad5f26.jpg

Got me again. Isn't seafood delicious.

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