The good old days...

 

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity:
The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it
on the Windshields of their new high speed trains.

Arrangements were made and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken shot out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..

The horrified Americans sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.

Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo....

"Defrost the chicken."

2 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

To (Bit)coin a phrase!

e pluribus unum, to phrase a coin...

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

All a bit cryptic for my understanding.

The (non physical) penny will soon drop!

A Roman gladiator walks into a bar...

...and holds up two fingers. "Give me five beers, please."

 

 

 

Give me five condoms, please.

"Do you want a bag?"
"No, she's not that ugly."

A zoo had acquired a rare species of gorilla but although the female was in season, they had no male gorilla to mate with her. In desperation they asked one of the keepers whether he would be willing to have sex with the gorilla for a hundred dollars. The keeper asked for a little time to think about the idea.

 

The following morning, he went back to the zoo bosses with his answer. ‘I’ll agree to have sex with the gorilla,’ he said, ‘but on three conditions. First, I don’t want to have to kiss her. Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union.’

 

‘Yes, that’s all fine,’ said the zoo bosses. ‘What is your third condition?’

 

The keeper said: ‘You’ll have to give me another week to come up with the a hundred bucks.’