April 7, 20232 yr Frank walks into the office and sees John at work... John, my man, what are you doing here? I thought it is your mother-in-law's funeral today?! Yeah, it is... but you know... work first, party later!
April 7, 20232 yr Employee: Boss, my salary is so lousy I can't even afford to get married! Boss: You'll thank me later...
April 7, 20232 yr Woman is standing in front of mirror.... Geez, I'm so fat! And look at all these wrinkles! I look so old! Dear, please say something nice to console me... Husband: You have excellent eye sight, darling...
April 7, 20232 yr Popular Post Johnny is bored in heaven, so he goes to complain to God: How is it possible that I am so bored in heaven? I thought it was going to be fun! God: Maybe that's because I have no sense of time. For me, 1000 years is like 1 minute. Johnny: What about 1000$? God: That's nothing. Like 10 cents, I have no sense of worth either. Johnny: Cool! Then can I borrow 1000$? God: Sure, no problem. Just wait a minute...
April 7, 20232 yr Cop walks up to theater ticket seller and says "I'd like 2 tickets for tonight's show." "Romeo and Juliet?" "No. For me and my wife!"
April 7, 20232 yr 2 girlfriends talking and one asks the other: I've heard you married a boxer. What's he like? Ummm.... difficult to describe. He looks different after each match...
April 7, 20232 yr A man is making rounds giving Easter greetings to his neighbour when he gets to the last one... When the door opens, he puts on a grin and says: I wish you all the same as you wish for me! Angrily, neighbour blurts: How dare you!
April 7, 20232 yr Popular Post Husband is lying in sofa chair watching TV... Wife asks him to fix the pipe in the kitchen as it's leaking, to which he answers: I'm not a plumber! A few days later, light bulb dies in bedroom and when wife asks the hubby to replace it, he brushes back: I'm not a darn electrician! Some days later, when returning home from work he notices bulb is replaced, pipe is fixed and immediately asks wife: Did you call plumber and electrician? Wife: No, neighbour fixed them both. Husband: And how much did he charge you for it? Wife: Nothing. He said either bake him a cake or have sex with him. Husband: And? Did you bake him a cake? Wife: I'm not a damn baker!
April 7, 20232 yr Policeman stops a car that was obviously speeding... Good evening, Sir, says the policeman. I was waiting for you all day! I know! answers the driver. I came as quickly as I could!
April 7, 20232 yr John is telling his colleague that his wife ran away with his best friend Frank. Colleague: as far as I know, Frank was never even your friend, let alone best friend... John: Maybe not then, but he is now!
April 7, 20232 yr Wife calls husband and starts yelling: Where the **** are you?!! Husband: Dear, do you remember that gold shop where you just loved that diamond necklace and for which I told you that one day it will be yours? Wife melts down: I'm so sorry, dear... Of course I remember... Husband: Well, I'm at the pub across the road!
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