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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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A man was crossing the road and got knocked down by a mobile library.

 

He was lying in the road, screaming in agony.

 

The driver got out and said .... Shh!

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A man went into a butchers shop and asked: "Where is the assistant who usually works here?"

The butcher replied: "I had to sack him, he was sticking his penis into the bacon slicer",

The man said: "What did you do with the bacon slicer".

The butcher replied: "We sacked her too".

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1 hour ago, roo860 said:

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Probably be healthier if they let their kids stay for a week or more. 

The wife's been putting on a bit of weight, so I helpfully got her this twin engine model for going to her coven meetings.

Luckily this ICU has got wifi.

 

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One for @Crossy

 

I opened both my water bill and electricity bill at once. 

 

Needless to say, I was shocked.

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Yesterday a man hit me with a block of cheese and a pint of milk …. How dairy.

My dog has swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles, I think this could spell disaster.

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