Since we are on the subject of cheesy jokes/characters!

A guy walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head sitting on his own.

He asks the bartender about it and the barman told him that the guy was a great fan of the original US TV show "The Apprentice" and to buy the man a drink and to ask him himself which he does.

 

The guy thanks the barman and as he handed the orange headed man a drink says he says I bet you're wondering about my big orange head. Well one day I was having a terrible day and went for a walk on the beach and found a genie's lamp. The genie granted me three wishes.

For my first wish I asked for all the riches that guy on the Apprentice has and poof! I was rolling in cash!

 

The genie said two more wishes. So for my second wish I asked for a load of beautiful women to lust after me just like that guy on the Apprentice has and poof! There was this gorgeous bombshell on my arm. 

 

The genie said one more wish.

 

I think that's where I went wrong.

 

For my third wish I asked to have a head just that guy on the Apprentice!
 

A retired Army Sergeant Major was sitting by himself at a bar when a beautiful blonde bombshell comes in the room. She noticed the man right away and finds him rugged and handsome, and sits down next to him.

 

"May I buy you a drink?" she asks him. He obliges.

 

She's obviously interested in him. The blonde says to him "So tell me what you do. You seem to be in great shape!"

"I'm retired from the Army. I don't do much work anymore, besides sit at his here bar some nights."

She notices he isn't wearing a ring. "Are you not married?", she asks.

"Never have been. Spent most of my life overseas in combat. The army was my wife, until I left her."

At this point, they hit it off.

They strike up great conversation, and continue buying each other drinks. The blonde's inhibitions have obviously lowered at this point, and without hesitation, she asks him another question.

"So tell me how long has it been since you've been laid?"

He takes a long pause and stares in the distance in deep thought. He then says, "2005".

The blonde is shocked. "2005! You have some catching up to do!

You and me, in my car, right now!"

They hopped in her backseat and commenced to the roughest sex she has ever had. She has orgasm after orgasm. She couldn't believe his sexual prowess.

She catches her breath after they finish.

She's never been "satisfied" so well before.

Completely amazed, she says to him, "You definitely have not lost your touch since 2005. You were amazing!"

He takes a look down at his watch and says

 

"I sure hope like hell I haven't, it's only 2330 now!"

9 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Yep, I go with the sparrows and flinches. 

2 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

I could not possibly dis a brie with you there!

Gouda.

 

(Optical illusion caused by the wet spot in front of it).

Alright, this is three years too late, but I'd never seen it before and like it.

 

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