People who say their wedding day was the best day of their life,

 

have clearly never had two KitKats fall out of a vending machine.

A Police officer was  parked outside a reputed Club. It was late at night around 11 pm. The Police Officer noticed a man leaving the club in such an intoxicated state that he could barely walk !
 
The man stumbled around the Parking Lot for a few minutes with the Officer quietly observing his movements. 
 
After what seemed an eternity & trying his car keys on five different cars, the man managed to find his own car, managed to open the door & stumbled into the seat.

The man sat there for a few minutes as a number of other members of the club left the club & drove off from the parking lot of the club.
 
Finally he Started the car, switched the wipers On & Off (it was a Dry Night), Flicked the Hazard Flasher On & Off, Tooted the Horn, & then Switched On the Head Lights.
 
He Moved the Vehicle Forward a few Inches, Reversed a Little, & then Remained Stationary for a few more Minutes as more members of the club left in their cars.
 
At last (when almost everyone had left) he pulled out of the parking lot & started to drive slowly down the street.
 
The Police Officer, having Patiently waited all this time, now started up his Patrol Car, put on the Flashing Lights, Promptly Pulled the Man Over & Carried Out a Breath Analyzer Test. 
 
To his Amazement, the Breath Analyzer Indicated No Evidence of the Man having Consumed Alcohol at all ....!!!

Dumbfounded, the Officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station. This Breath Analyser Equipment must be Broken".

 

"I doubt it", said the man soberly. "I have not had a single drink."

"Tonight I am the Designated Decoy". 

 

By then all the actual drunks had left...