I'm almost certain Donald J Trump.

3 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

You're talking about Red Phoenix

You thought petrol hoarding was bad here? Wait till those bags dissolve...

And...

Three architects were in a pub discussing who designed the cheapest building.

The first one says "I designed Covent Garden, and that was built for a song".

The next one says "I did New Scotland Yard, and that was built for coppers".

"Oh yeah?" says the third one, "I did the UN headquarters, and that was built for f**k all"!

I bought my wife some nipple tassels to spice things up.

Not a total success, but at least they polished her shoes.

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce was driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collided with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careered down the road and hit a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside.

One of them, already suffering from Schistosomiasis, had a myocardial infarction.

A bystander witnessed the entire event and quickly called to report the accident on his Huawei.

The emergency operator asked the bystander, "What happened?"

"It's hard to say."