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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Start preparing for Christmas early by falling out with your friends and family now.

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Regret is a useless emotion.
I wish I’d known that a long time ago.

  • Popular Post

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

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News from Hollywood. MGM are producing a film of the Life of Dr Harold Shipman.
Robert DeNiro will play the lead role in The Old Dear Hunter.

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I hid in the wardrobe naked and as I heard my wife getting closer I burst out and pounced on top of her.
Anyway, innocent mistake. Seems it was another Ikea customer.

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A man had a terrible accident at work,
he fell into an industrial grinder...
He's fine now.

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How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

46 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

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A fool and his money are easily parted.

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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife..."

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4 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Especially doctors!

Edited by fangless
Oops, practicing my spelling!

1 minute ago, fangless said:

A fool and his money are easily parted.

I refer you to the post immediately above that one...

1 minute ago, ballpoint said:

I refer you to the post immediately above that one...

Are you trying to give me a right wigging for taking shortcuts by not combing through all the posts before cutting in.

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I love Chinese food as much as the next guy,
but you'll never convince me a chicken fried the rice.

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5 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

A man had a terrible accident at work,
he fell into an industrial grinder...
He's fine now.

Oh crumbs is that him mincing about now!

Edited by fangless

2 minutes ago, fangless said:

Are you trying to give me a right wigging for taking shortcuts by not combing through all the posts before cutting in.

Not cutting in. Just a question relevant to your post. Quite a coincidence.

10 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

TOP TIP
Start preparing for Christmas early by falling out with your friends and family now.

A Scottish, Jewish Yorkshire Christmas as it saves on the buying of presents etc.

1 minute ago, ballpoint said:

Not cutting in. Just a question relevant to your post. Quite a coincidence.

Just to show that great minds think alike and grass doesn't grow on a busy street. 

That reminds me where is my wig?

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16 hours ago, owl sees all said:

Fashion lady.

 

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She got those umbrellas free from Krungsri, Siam Commercial, and Kasikorn banks.

 

 

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Wife to her programmer husband:
"Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen."

Husband returns with twelve loaves of bread.

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Two communists are sitting together at a nudist colony.
One turns to the other and asks “Have you read Marx?”

The second replies “yes, it’s these damn wicker chairs!”

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7 hours ago, fangless said:

Just to show that great minds think alike and grass doesn't grow on a busy street. 

That reminds me where is my wig?

A fool and his wig are easily parted.

 

(Sorry, couldn't resist.

 

I can lend you a comb to make parting easier though).

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by ballpoint

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Internet discussion:
user kiki357: HEEEEY, HOW ARE YOU? I'M NEW HERE!

user ukili: Try pressing CapsLock.

user kiki357: AWESOME, NOW I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP PRESSING SHIFT!!!!

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23 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

A fool and his wig are easily parted.

 

(Sorry, couldn't resist.

 

I can lend you a comb to make parting easier though).

 

 

 

 

 

I think I will just give you the brush off and keep my real thoughts under my hat!

????????

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