Ladies with very big pussies.

 

Fashion lady.

 

3 hours ago, Zyxel said:

But do they check Czechs cheques?

7 hours ago, owl sees all said:

Ladies with very big pussies.

The questions that follow that statement must be either;

Where?

or

How do you know?

5 hours ago, fasteddie said:

But do they check Czechs cheques?

Yes at the checkout!

 A jealous guy caught his girlfriend talking quietly on the phone and immediately confronted her. 
 ‘Who was that you were talking to?’ he demanded.

‘Is there somebody else?’ 
 ‘Of course not,’ she groaned.

‘Do you honestly think I’d be going out with a loser like you if there was somebody else?’ 
 

 A little girl was attending a church service with her mother when she started to complain that she was feeling unwell. 
 ‘I think I need to throw up,’ said the girl. 
 ‘Well, go outside,’ said the mother, ‘and use the bushes by the front door of the church.’ 
 The little girl went off but was back less than a minute later. 
 ‘That was quick,’ said the mother. ‘Did you throw up?’ 
 ‘Yes, but I didn’t need to go outside. I used a box near the door that says “For the sick”.’ 
 

 A lion woke up one morning with an overbearing desire to remind his fellow creatures that he was king of the jungle. So he marched over to a monkey and roared: ‘Who is the mightiest animal in the jungle?’ 
 ‘You are, Master,’ said the monkey, quivering. 
 Then the lion came across a wildebeest. 
 ‘Who is the mightiest animal in the jungle?’ roared the lion. 
 ‘You are, Master,’ answered the wildebeest, shaking with fear. 
 Next the lion met an elephant. 
 ‘Who is the mightiest animal in the jungle?’ roared the lion. 
 The elephant grabbed the lion with his trunk, slammed him repeatedly against a tree, dropped him like a stone and ambled off. 

 ‘All right,’ shouted the lion. ‘There’s no need to turn nasty just because you don’t know the answer.’ 
 

What do you get when you cross:- Poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck. 
 

What do sheep count when they can’t get to sleep? 
 

My goal was to loose 10 pounds this year...
Only 15 more to go.
 

Chat-up Line:-  • Are we near the airport, or is that just my heart taking off?