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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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It's true, look it up.  And I can't help thinking the world is a better place because of it.

 

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Chatting with the GF & I said to her... "Babe, if you had 2 houses & I had nowhere to live what would you do"... 

She replies "Terack, I love you so if I had 2 houses & you had nowhere to live I would give you one of my houses". 

 

So I says "Babe, if you had 2 cars & I had no transport what would you do". 

She replies "Terack, I've told you I love you so if I had 2 cars & you had no transport I would give you one of my cars". 

 

So I says "Babe if you had 2,000 Baht... " She cut me off & said "oh F Off, you know I have 2,000 Baht"... 

 

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Oldie but goodie..

 

A burglar breaks into a house in the middle of the night, as he's collecting the silverware and valuables displayed about the house, he hears a voice say "Jesus is watching you."

 

The burglar shines his flashlight around the room, and not seeing anything, he continues stuffing valuables into his sack.

 

Again he hears "Jesus is watching you." He shines his light around again, but doesn't see anything unusual. Continuing to loot the place, he hears for a third time "Jesus is watching you."

 

As he scans the room with his flashlight, he spots a parrot on a perch. The burglar says "Did you say something?" The parrot says "Jesus is watching you." The burglar says "It was you! What's your name?" The parrot says "Aloysius!"

 

The burglar says "What kind of person would name a bird Aloysius?"

 

The parrot says "The same kind of person that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'!"

 

Boom! Boom!

"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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A few "Dad"style jokes........

 

A new medical name for viagra, "mycoxaflopin"

 

My parents always told me to make little things count.

So I,m teaching Maths to dwarfs.

 

I swear to drunk i"m not God.

But seriously, stay in drugs,eat school and dont do vegetables.

 

My son is a man trapped in a womans body.

He"ll be born in December.

 

What you call a Dinasaur who uses cheap toilet paper ? .......Megasoreass

 

 

 

 

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