Fallen In Love

[alexalex]

Hello!

I am common farang who fallen in love with my Thai boyfriend and readed lot of things and horror stories about thai sex worker.

I want to describe little-bit my situation and may be anybody make some usefull tip for me. Just I understand what third-party look may be very usefull in my situation - as I like usuall people "see my minds and emotions" by my own way.

Here I trying to describe my situation without my emotions for more easy understanding.

We meet in Pattaya bar, and spended together near month in some destinations of Thailand. I talked with him (but his english is really not good, but to my depature become little bit better) and him talked me what start worked in bar only near month before we meet and I was be his first farang. I not 100% sure what clearly understand it - but thinked it up to some moment.

We agreed with him what him stop working in bar and never more return to this profession and I will be support him and purchased mobile phone.

He was returned to city, where living his parents (I myself buyed him air tickets and sure what him returned to home in day of my departure from ThaiLand).

Also I talked him what help him make visa to visiting my country and we will be here together for big period of time and probally will be think about our shared future.

After my return I sended him some money for living needs, sended money for courses in english school, etc.

We been on mobile connect and exchange sms & phone calls each day.

After this in one day he lost mobile phone (but let me know immeditally about it via email).

All looks go ok, but in one day him sended me his another bank account info (to buy new mobile - old as I thinking right now) and I found what this deparment of bank is located in Pattaya, not in him home city.

I start researching it and found what his emails is goes from Pattaya (by GeoIP) and of course start thinking what him lie me. Also absolutely randomly - I found one UK man and we talked and found what we been with one same boy and together in love emails with him and him also sended him before some money for learning/etc.

Of course - I readed lot of same stories and thinking what his "professional boyfriend" and just lie me to get money.

Also I reviewed all his emails to me and found what knowledge of english is different in some him emails.

Also - we was been not in contact - as him lost mobile phone, but sended him some emails - asking "why?"

But I get responces and his called me to clear all this. His talked me what him is stayed in his home city and never returned to his work and to Pattaya. But him have old bank account in Pattaya (email with him pattaya bank account been from Pataya by GEOIP) and one friend in Pattaya who help him to write emails as him much better know the english. About this UK men - he just was been him previous and first customer.

I don't sure - may be it true (also - his last emails was been in him common style and by GEOIP from him home city (it very far from Pattaya)).

But I cannot understand next things -

1. If it him friend help him to write answers - how him was been in contact with him? He live in small villadge and lost the mobile phone.

2. Email with Pattaya bank details is comes from Pattaya and was been written in him common style (bad english).

Also - is Thai boys give him bank details to friends?

3. I also get another email from Pattaya from him friend (but signed like him) with name of company where his friend is working and phone number.

But I think what it is just make this situation more crazy.

Immeditially after him phonecall, I sended him via Western Union money for mobile phone and controlled what him pickup money in him home city. His immeditially purchased mobile phone and we on connect now.

But him tryed to describe me all this and give me answers via emails and by phone, but questions which here (1-3) is not answered (I just asked it after him clearance and in very soft way) and planning to ask when I will be in Thai with him.

I want to ask peoples here - is I am just very suspicious what asking this questions and all this is have easily explainable or not?

Also I am understand next things :

1. His english and knowledge of Pattaya easily show what him is really new in this city and have not many practice in all this things and at him previous "barboy" work.

2. His tryed really to describe me this things - like him can.

3. His is really very like me and not have "profession = barboy" as I think. From my side I myself trying to be best for him.

PS : This is really very hardly to support international relations and I go to Thailand on next week and meet with him. Also I have ready approved visa innovitation for him.

I really love him, but "lie" can kill all.

I am very want to listen your responces here, at most - to describe me -

1. Is Thai boys can share his bank account info with friends?

2. Is Thai boys can contact easily from villadges to Pattaya to friends to send him emails?

3. What you think about my situation? May be you able to see something more here than me?

Best Regards,

Alex

[Axel]

alexalex,

you story very hard, make my eye not misty but water falling down.

Me think, you different, not troll, more different but same same.

You ok? Than buy credit card mine, I spend no much, only nid noi, promise I never say you have my wife.

[Basher]

Me too I cly alot this velly sad stoly, I give my cledit card for free

send address quickly

[alexalex]

So, you think what it just "barboy"?

[alexalex]

Basher : Just post your "cledit cald" number right here and we not spent too many.

PS : I know what this situation like crazy, it why I asking you to post - what you think about it.

[Basher]

Yes mate

This is a common story and not just for Gays, substitute man for woman and it is just anothe money grabbing ploy...

sorry about this , but I hope you had a great time mate

Bash

[alexalex]

Ok. May be it true, but...

If change the question : I will be in next week in Thailand and meet him.

What you think - How to confirm or deny these suspicions?

[Basher]

Mate

that is a good question

you will just have to stay quiet and look at every aspect, there is no clear cut answer, if you have the funds hire a private investigator, if not just wing it, get him out of the bar area, take him home or the equivilant ( I am not gay so am new to the man on man life, he may not be able to go home?)

Keep your eyes open and your hand on your wallet, when the demands for more cash (sick buffalo etc) you will know if it is real mate

Good luck

Bash

[alexalex]

Thanks for answer, Basher!

PS : My english is not perfect, as it not my native language.

But I can talk something from start :

1. I talked some times with his mother (him invite me to she).

2. Him wanted what I visit him home and we planned to do it after I will be Thailand.

3. We was be together near month and communicated via internet/phone - but money/presents question is not was been.

To more define it :

In private communication with him - question of money not was been, him not asked me for money or anything to buy him. But of course not liked where we go buy mobile phone for him, checked phones shops and not buy nothing. I just not talk him what forget credit card at hotel and me was be interesting to see his emotions (I am sorry about it - but it from this horror Thai stories).

Of course him not liked it - but "softly". After this I talk him of course what just forget cc and we buy it tomorrow.

It was been only one situation for one month related with purchasing anything.

But also in end - where I give him money, was been noted what his calculate it with cost of mobile phone. It just was been strange little-bit, but I really understand what his have parents and need money.

After this in communication by email - his never asked me to send him money. Here is also not was been any direct hints about it, except what him talked me about his parents and family but normally - not in style - "me need money for him".

For me not was been "ill mother/brother", etc, but after talking with UK man - him talked me what him talked him something like this.

I am will be do anything (broke or continue our relations) only after will be see him, talk with him and spend some time.

But any your suggestions is welcome and I will be happy to listen its!

About investigators : Love and investigators - is not love at all. Here is not money question - but when you try to do it - your love is already broken and only emotions inside.

[meadish_sweetball]

People are of course different, and you may have been very lyucky and found a sincere boy. But looking at yourself and him - do you really think so. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I think the odds are against you.

The fact that you worry so much about money matters already suggests to me that your relationship isn't entirely healthy. If you want to find a long-term partner, maybe you should look outside of Pattaya. If not, why worry?

[Basher]

Up to you fallang

Bash

[alexalex]

meadish_sweetball: You not correct. I just want to prevent situation where it will be not love to people, but only love to money. To prevent "money only" interest to me.

Hope you understand what I mean.

[Basher]

We all strive to do this very thing, and not only in LOS either

Bash

[ChrisP]

Alex

I was in a similar situation... but I discovered my boy (Ton) had TWO other farang bf on the string.

It's really not unusual. It's their job. And they like it.

Anyone else here know him, btw??

You can either accept that you are just another bf, and accept that's the way it is... (he probably DOES need help... and if you want to provide it.. then don't expect monogamy.) He will be devoted to you... while you're there.

Which country are we talking about... and How DID you find the other man, btw...?? Amazing coincidence.

I found out through a Web Browser not logged off...

ChrisP

[alexalex]

ChrisP:

Sure, looks it very common situation as I see it now.

You can either accept that you are just another bf, and accept that's the way it is... (he probably DOES need help... and if you want to provide it.. then don't expect monogamy.) He will be devoted to you... while you're there.

</QUOTE]Sure, but I will be see finally on place only. Also this situation is continues and new things is open.

Which country are we talking about... and How DID you find the other man, btw...?? Amazing coincidence.

You mean my country or country of this men? His is from UK, I manage some popular gay site and it happen. I am understand - what it like win in lottery - same meeting, but it happen.

If you asking about my country - I am from East Europe, SNG.

In current moment all looks go good, and I will be post here in future - is all ok or not (is this our meeting is final or not).

[rainman]

he scammed you. the best you can do is face it and move on. just giving you my honest opinion on it.

[orchis]

Pattaya/Thailand can be a real minefield if you look for a boyfriend. If you just visit from time to time maybe you wont notice and live in bliss waiting from holiday to holiday, fine, maybe you can only commit 14 days a year anyway.

However if living in Thailand some stories dont hold up pretty long.

I think the best way is never to offer anything upfront when trying to get romantically involved

(many farang try to offer stuff and money even without ever being asked,

s/o wd be crazy not to accept it) and decline when being asked for something.

If they still stay with you/ keep in touch : bingo! love story!

This way is slower and more difficult; maybe you ll have to date a little before jumping into the sack, maybe the prospective partner will look at your qualities, level of education etc with as much expectation as you do.

Otherwise you can get off most easily by paying per trick and see it as it is : prostitution.

Many people mix up their categories: lust, love, lucre and then will wail : WHAT HAPPENED?

[alexalex]

Hello!

I am in Bangkok right now and already spended 3 days with him.

Situation is goes like crazy -

1. First day - all is ok,

2. Second day -

we visited his uncle in Thailand, and looks him was be very happy, after this

we was been in Silom road bars together and looks was be happy, - I am tryed to show everybody what him is my boyfriend and him looks was be very happy from this, but - was been very strange what all things make me - like try to kiss him, etc. From him side it was been like "allow to do it".

But also in this day we visited his uncle and all was looks very good up to this time.

After bar in this day we go hotel, and I was talked him - what thinked what we must have separate minds, but happen like he become sad, and go bad and no reaction for anything. But in end after some time I can make him talk again.

3. Yesterday and today happen lot of situations - it was been very crazy. Right now him sit in room and talking by phone with friends (wanted before to go visit his uncle) and I thinking what now to do.

From start : We haved tour at yesterday (temples) in Bangkok and looks it goes good. But I am again found this thing what only me make some steps to show something to him (kiss him, etc), he make it very limited and never start first.

After this we walked by the bangkok, eat seafood and after some time returned to hotel.

Here situation is become very crazy. I talked him - why it happen? Why I not see minds (except smiles) from his side, asked may be him in love with any another people? And is only money is all what him want from me?

It was been no answer, but his go away hotel (but lost him bag & him family photos in hotel). After sometime I start try to find him. Talked with him via mobile phone, his was be looks "not very sad" by phone and talked what will be return back now. After sometime him returned back with some purchased socks (?!)

and talked what I am number 1 and same, same, same things...

Ok, looks I tryed to do this situation better and we go and buy tour to Calipso cabaret and spended sometime seen this show (it was be really very good).

After this we go to the gay bars again to see some another shows.

In Extreme Bar we meet him another customer, but I tryed to fix this situation and we go out from here shortly.

The most crazy things is started when we returned hotel. I tryed to talk with him about all this - customers, us, minds, etc - and talked him more information which I know about him previous customer (which was been in love email in same time - like me). As result - it was been only that - what him cry and stop responding me for anything. All my results to talk or just "change topic" - not give any effects.

Ok, I thinked - what at morning something need to be changed and go bed.

At morning - it all continues. After wake-up, his was been again in "no reaction mode" and only after many trys from my side start to talk something.

Basically it was talks about nothing and in variant like - you not love me, etc. After this same - you only one my darling, some cryes, etc.

But it again no kiss or many reaction to my side. Of course - I like crazy for now - cannot never think - what will be same situation with thai boy.

May be 20-30 mins ago, him tryed to go

1. "buy some food". After I talked what him can order food right here (room service) or we can go together to hotel restaurants - purpose of go was be changed to

2. "go visit uncle in hospital". After my talk - what we can do it together, him for sometime tryed to go out with other reason - but I not give him ability to go away.

(Don't know why I do it, but I think what today it will be final decision (and looks him know same about it). I talked him some minutes ago what posted story about our relations in your forum and to see answers, but him not have many interest to it (looks him same understand what all is near finish).

Now, him ordered some food in room (salmons/etc - what not ordered never before) and eat. I in this moment write this post for you.

Ok. I think here is no more questions from me and this situation will be finished today completely.

Just may be this my situation will be for somebody good lesson to not repeat my mistakes and never play in love with thai boys.

PS : It looks like online - reportage!

You can post here anything what you think about my story and will be try to answer if I can.

Best Regards,

Alex

[wcr]

is this some sort of joke?

[alexalex]

No, not joke. Why you think this?

[davethailand]

are you a troll?

[alexalex]

What the strange questions?

I never thinked posting my story here what will be same reaction - like I am troll or something other.

Just second part it was been end of this story - nothing more.

[davethailand]

sorry is am i, mean offend you i did'nt

[Deadcert]

A joke I think it must be, the spelling too correct but the grammar not.

Maybe alexalex from another planet he be.

[Deadcert]

Just a thought but if Idon't understand what the ###### you are saying your young Thai friend's head must be spinning.

[alexalex]

Deadcert : if you read full topic, you will found what english is not my native language. I am Russian, and know what my english is not perfect.

I not using any grammar/spelling software, but - write as I can. But think what it possibly to understand me.

About head must be spinning : yes - it was been this days.

But this story is not finished. It possibly what I post here later - is it finished or not.

[ProThaiExpat]

Nothing you have recounted so far is surprising. Your Thai boyfriend is acting just as most Thai boys in a similar situation would act.

The overriding problem you have is your inability to communicate with your boyfriend. If your English is at the level it seems to be in your posts and your boyfriend's English is as you have described it, then it is a wonder you can communicate at all out of bed.

Communication is the most essential attribute to any Thai-farang relationship as cultural barriers must be overcome this way.

Keep in mind, you have only offered this boy a couplde of weeks every so often with you, so his prospects of a long term relationship of mutual support, love and commitment are very poor with you.

If you spend money for language training, suggest you pay for him to learn Russian or you enroll in an English course with him and you both learn to talk to each other, where there is clear understanding.

My Thai of three years and I were in Pattaya a month ago, and guess who we ran into. My first Thai sexual experience, a three day "honeymoon" which was great, for a visitor. Even through his poor English three years ago, I detected evasion.

This time he explained he was from Issan to my Thai from Issan, but didn't speak the dialect, couldn't identify the village he was from, etc. Typical bar boy/sex worker "dancing". Lack of ability to speak English is also a much used evasion tactic when confronted with piercing questions that expose duplicity.

Have a great time with him during your visits to Thailand and don't try to control him when you are away. When you come to Thailand to live and commit to a long term relationship, that is the time to address the issues your are trying to resolve now. Good luck and have fun.

This post is intended for anyone interested in this topic and thus whether your a troll of not, doesn't concern me.

[alexalex]

ProThaiExpat: Thanks for your suggestions! It was informative post.

Also I right now see it myself - what him can be only "vacation friend" and what I not must get to my brain - all his situations.

[12call]

???

[alexalex]

I mean what my situation is continues, but nothing become more clear.

Basically I see now how him is worry about visa and travel to my country and try to be like before but with some exceptions.

I see what if I will be try to get again this situation to my brain - I will be crazy - 100%.

Again - here is no answers on many my questions. No-way for him to talk via translator (I am understand myself about it - but it one from real ways - how to talk).

About our english - his is learn it in english school and here show me his diplom. But his english for my look is not changed at all.

About my english - I have some grammar troubles in my english, but can communicate on it (was been in many countries) and communicating without troubles (peoples understand me) and always can rephrase my sentenses if some misunderstanding.