How to fail miserably in Thailand

[rumak]

1 hour ago, cornishcarlos said:

#15 Don't make a point of telling people you have lived here xx years, you can still learn a thing or 3 ????

i have lived here for xxx years.  Only thing that i have to learn now is how to log in to TV every time they change something.  Oh, and how come when i scratch on my old nokia phone like i see everyone doing on their phones....only thing that happens is my screen gets damaged ?

[CharlieH]

23 minutes ago, grollies said:

 

Different sitiations require differing responses I suppose.

 

But, if you receive a wai, IMHO, it would be rude and/or arrogent not to wai back normally.

Totally agree ! Its all about circunstance 

 

Just as it would be wrong in the handshake scenario if someone extended their hand and you didnt receive it.????

[BestB]

1.Do not get into business that you have no experience in

2.Drinking in bar all your life does not qualify you to own one.

 

[rumak]

15 minutes ago, grollies said:

 

But, if you receive a wai, IMHO, it would be rude and/or arrogent not to wai back normally.

you just gave a good example of when a wai is not used :   After you have given a tip or gift to someone and they wai you.... a return wai is not needed.  Yes, a smile if you wish.   

also, not needed with small children, tuk tuk drivers,  doormen, the list goes on....

 the Thais realize we do not know their customs.....and actually are MUCH more tolerant of our little gaffes than we are of theirs (IMHO of course  ????

There are also levels of how high your hands should be with different people/classes ..

All VERY time consuming to master.........  when busy at home on the computer

[rumak]

12 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Totally agree ! Its all about circunstance 

 

Just as it would be wrong in the handshake scenario if someone extended their hand and you didnt receive it.????

probably better to  return a wai if not sure ......but i do roll my eyes sometimes at the use of wais by many farangs here,  and not all are tourists.   

Edited January 27, 2019 by rumak

[steve73]

50 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Totally agree ! Its all about circunstance 

 

Just as it would be wrong in the handshake scenario if someone extended their hand and you didnt receive it.????

"Just as it would be wrong in the handshake scenario if someone extended their hand and you didnt receive it."

 

...except the Indian tailors

[NCC1701A]

16 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

1.  Come with not enough money.  Minimum is 800,000 in cash to be deposited in a Thai bank.

+1

[Blue Muton]

14 hours ago, AlexRich said:

I’m not with you on the “wai” comment. I think foreigners look a bit stupid doing that, it is not their culture and every Thai understands that. Thais don’t change their culture when they are overseas, and no reasonable person would expect them too. However long you live in Thailand you are not and never will be Thai. 

 

 

 

I'm not with you on that at all, "we" are in "their" country and should learn when and when not to wai. It's not the case that Thai's don't "change their culture" overseas, I have witnessed this when my wife and I lived in the UK, she and her friends didn't go around Waiing people, nor did they, for example address people as "phi", "khun" etc.

[marcusarelus]

7 hours ago, madmen said:

No Wai! It's idiotic when I see farang greeting hookers that way ! and why the language? I live on lower Sukhumvit and occasionally visit Pattaya, phuket and chiang mai and never once in ten years had failed communication

However if your poor and forced to live in nahkon nowhere then you better bloody well learn the language but better to not be poor IMO.

When I read the unhappy negative posters here on TV one thing many have in common is they don't wai or speak the language.  It says all sorts of things about your lack of cultural awareness.  I could give you 20 examples of how both could enhance your experience on lower Sukhumvit but what for?  "casting pearls."

[I wonder]

12 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

12. Don't think you are smarter than everybody else because you have a longer and better formal education.

13. Even if you are smarter that doesn't mean you "win" against a Thai who lived here all his life and knows how things really work (independent of written laws and regulations)

14. If you think you have a great business idea and you will soon make a lot of money think again. Most likely it isn't such a good idea. And just in case it is a good idea there is a good chance some influential Thais will tell you now it's time to sell your business to them - to conditions you won't like.

 

Summary: Stay under the radar and enjoy your life.

Summary spot on......no one bothers you if you don’t bother them.

[MadMuhammad]

13 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

It's what a gentleman does.  You don't wai service people and most of the time only return wai's except if the person is older than you or more important than you.  I wai my doctor who saved my live by prompt action.  You should wai monks be they older or younger.  Of course this thread is about how to fail miserably in Thailand and if you want to do that you don't wai anyone.  You will be rewarded with failure and dislike. 

My gf lightly scolds me when I attempt to wai anyone saying that’s it’s not expected of me and it’s not my culture.

I spoke to a monk regarding the same and he said as I’m not Buddhist nor Thai it is never expected of me and he would never take offence so I keep my, admittedly poor, attempts to myself now. 

[Blackheart1916]

Wow would never have known. Thanks.

[1FinickyOne]

15 hours ago, AlexRich said:

I’m not with you on the “wai” comment. I think foreigners look a bit stupid doing that, it is not their culture and every Thai understands that. Thais don’t change their culture when they are overseas, and no reasonable person would expect them too. However long you live in Thailand you are not and never will be Thai. 

 

 

 

Of course they do.  Many Asians will shake hands in the west. You don't have to be Thai to respectfully return a greeting. I am sure most Thai consider it normal. 

[spidermike007]

These are some things that foreigners who come here often do not understand, leading to many of the mistakes the OP mentions.

 

1. There is very little common sense or reason practiced here in Thailand. If it is employed, you will never be able to interpret it as the kind of common sense, and reason you are accustomed to.

2. Thailand is not a foreign country. It is a distant planet. Always keep that in mind. On so many levels, this place does is not familiar. That is one of the things I like most about living here. But, it takes some time to get used to, and I have to remind myself alot, of that reality. Perspective on the place helps alot. 

3. Most Thais are kind hearted, and decent people. Just show some respect. It is their country after all. Do not expect them to behave like you do. Kindness and respect toward the locals goes a long way toward making your stay here really pleasant, and can defuse, or prevent alot of hostile situations. A lack of respect can create the opposite reaction. 

4. Thailand is a very foreign culture. They are one or two generations removed from a nearly total tribal existence. So, alot of traditional values still exist. Expect that. Most are very conventional people, and most live in very small boxes, in terms of lifestyle. 

5. The police are not here to protect you. They do not care one iota about your well being, your safety, or traffic safety. Expect that. Do not employ them, unless absolutely necessary. They operate franchises, and are completely immune to oversight or prosecution. So expect corruption from them, and expect a fleecing, if you give them the slightest opportunity. They are best avoided. Always remember. In Thailand the police do not engage in law enforcement. All they do is revenue collection. 

6. Face can be a real obstacle here. In my opinion, it is the single greatest weakness of the Thai people. They are pathologically afraid of losing face. Personally, I despise this practice of face. It prevents the society from maturing and progressing, on so many levels. Get used to it. If you confront a Thai, they will engage in fierce denial, and most will absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their actions, or admit, and own the problems they have caused, on any level. 

7. If you are going to get involved with a Thai woman, take into account the fact that most are immature and emotionally undeveloped. I highly recommend looking for a woman who is the eldest child in the family. They are given far more responsibility growing up, and it shows. And remember, you are no longer in the West, which means you do not have to check your cajones at the door. Do not behave like you behaved back there. If you do that, she will take over. And take your time. Time is your ally. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are real issues, they will reveal themselves over time. Do not allow a woman to push the agenda. Be a man. Push back. Be strong. Do as Bond would do. 

8. If driving, especially on a motorbike, treat the activity as an act of war, in a sense that you may be mowed down or killed at any moment. Maintain eyes in the back of your head. Watch everyone. Expect craziness, insanity, lack of reason, and a complete lack of courtesy and respect on the roads, at all times. Expect cars and trucks to be coming at you in the wrong lane. Expect people to overtake you with the slimmest of margins.
Expect trucks to be driving very slowly in the fast lane of a highway. If riding a motorbike, only do so if you have many years of experience. Especially on the southern islands, where huge numbers of foreigners leave Thailand in a wooden box. Wear the best helmet you can afford. And drive like a grandmother. This applies to ex-pats too. Bring along an international drivers license. This helps you to avoid being fleeced by the local police franchisee.

[grollies]

14 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Of course they do.  Many Asians will shake hands in the west. You don't have to be Thai to respectfully return a greeting. I am sure most Thai consider it normal. 

I quite often shake hands after a wai is exchanged, especially when parting company. Some Thai will offer a handshake first.

[grollies]

6 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

These are some things that foreigners who come here often do not understand, leading to many of the mistakes the OP mentions.

 

1. There is very little common sense or reason practiced here in Thailand. If it is employed, you will never be able to interpret it as the kind of common sense, and reason you are accustomed to.

2. Thailand is not a foreign country. It is a distant planet. Always keep that in mind. On so many levels, this place does is not familiar. That is one of the things I like most about living here. But, it takes some time to get used to, and I have to remind myself alot, of that reality. Perspective on the place helps alot. 

3. Most Thais are kind hearted, and decent people. Just show some respect. It is their country after all. Do not expect them to behave like you do. Kindness and respect toward the locals goes a long way toward making your stay here really pleasant, and can defuse, or prevent alot of hostile situations. A lack of respect can create the opposite reaction. 

4. Thailand is a very foreign culture. They are one or two generations removed from a nearly total tribal existence. So, alot of traditional values still exist. Expect that. Most are very conventional people, and most live in very small boxes, in terms of lifestyle. 

5. The police are not here to protect you. They do not care one iota about your well being, your safety, or traffic safety. Expect that. Do not employ them, unless absolutely necessary. They operate franchises, and are completely immune to oversight or prosecution. So expect corruption from them, and expect a fleecing, if you give them the slightest opportunity. They are best avoided. Always remember. In Thailand the police do not engage in law enforcement. All they do is revenue collection. 

6. Face can be a real obstacle here. In my opinion, it is the single greatest weakness of the Thai people. They are pathologically afraid of losing face. Personally, I despise this practice of face. It prevents the society from maturing and progressing, on so many levels. Get used to it. If you confront a Thai, they will engage in fierce denial, and most will absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their actions, or admit, and own the problems they have caused, on any level. 

7. If you are going to get involved with a Thai woman, take into account the fact that most are immature and emotionally undeveloped. I highly recommend looking for a woman who is the eldest child in the family. They are given far more responsibility growing up, and it shows. And remember, you are no longer in the West, which means you do not have to check your cajones at the door. Do not behave like you behaved back there. If you do that, she will take over. And take your time. Time is your ally. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are real issues, they will reveal themselves over time. Do not allow a woman to push the agenda. Be a man. Push back. Be strong. Do as Bond would do. 

8. If driving, especially on a motorbike, treat the activity as an act of war, in a sense that you may be mowed down or killed at any moment. Maintain eyes in the back of your head. Watch everyone. Expect craziness, insanity, lack of reason, and a complete lack of courtesy and respect on the roads, at all times. Expect cars and trucks to be coming at you in the wrong lane. Expect people to overtake you with the slimmest of margins.
Expect trucks to be driving very slowly in the fast lane of a highway. If riding a motorbike, only do so if you have many years of experience. Especially on the southern islands, where huge numbers of foreigners leave Thailand in a wooden box. Wear the best helmet you can afford. And drive like a grandmother. This applies to ex-pats too. Bring along an international drivers license. This helps you to avoid being fleeced by the local police franchisee.

Apart from that it's ok.

[marcusarelus]

6 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

These are some things that foreigners who come here often do not understand, leading to many of the mistakes the OP mentions.

 

1. There is very little common sense or reason practiced here in Thailand. If it is employed, you will never be able to interpret it as the kind of common sense, and reason you are accustomed to.

2. Thailand is not a foreign country. It is a distant planet. Always keep that in mind. On so many levels, this place does is not familiar. That is one of the things I like most about living here. But, it takes some time to get used to, and I have to remind myself alot, of that reality. Perspective on the place helps alot. 

3. Most Thais are kind hearted, and decent people. Just show some respect. It is their country after all. Do not expect them to behave like you do. Kindness and respect toward the locals goes a long way toward making your stay here really pleasant, and can defuse, or prevent alot of hostile situations. A lack of respect can create the opposite reaction. 

4. Thailand is a very foreign culture. They are one or two generations removed from a nearly total tribal existence. So, alot of traditional values still exist. Expect that. Most are very conventional people, and most live in very small boxes, in terms of lifestyle. 

5. The police are not here to protect you. They do not care one iota about your well being, your safety, or traffic safety. Expect that. Do not employ them, unless absolutely necessary. They operate franchises, and are completely immune to oversight or prosecution. So expect corruption from them, and expect a fleecing, if you give them the slightest opportunity. They are best avoided. Always remember. In Thailand the police do not engage in law enforcement. All they do is revenue collection. 

6. Face can be a real obstacle here. In my opinion, it is the single greatest weakness of the Thai people. They are pathologically afraid of losing face. Personally, I despise this practice of face. It prevents the society from maturing and progressing, on so many levels. Get used to it. If you confront a Thai, they will engage in fierce denial, and most will absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their actions, or admit, and own the problems they have caused, on any level. 

7. If you are going to get involved with a Thai woman, take into account the fact that most are immature and emotionally undeveloped. I highly recommend looking for a woman who is the eldest child in the family. They are given far more responsibility growing up, and it shows. And remember, you are no longer in the West, which means you do not have to check your cajones at the door. Do not behave like you behaved back there. If you do that, she will take over. And take your time. Time is your ally. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are real issues, they will reveal themselves over time. Do not allow a woman to push the agenda. Be a man. Push back. Be strong. Do as Bond would do. 

8. If driving, especially on a motorbike, treat the activity as an act of war, in a sense that you may be mowed down or killed at any moment. Maintain eyes in the back of your head. Watch everyone. Expect craziness, insanity, lack of reason, and a complete lack of courtesy and respect on the roads, at all times. Expect cars and trucks to be coming at you in the wrong lane. Expect people to overtake you with the slimmest of margins.
Expect trucks to be driving very slowly in the fast lane of a highway. If riding a motorbike, only do so if you have many years of experience. Especially on the southern islands, where huge numbers of foreigners leave Thailand in a wooden box. Wear the best helmet you can afford. And drive like a grandmother. This applies to ex-pats too. Bring along an international drivers license. This helps you to avoid being fleeced by the local police franchisee.

The thread is how to fail miserably.  So I guess you mean, 1.  Pretend you are in your home country and interpret what you see and what you do with the same common sense you use at home.

2.  Thailand is just like home people are after all alike act accordingly.

3.  Don't respect the locals act just like you would at home and wear a chip on your shoulder for all authority figures.

4.  Thailand is just as modern and sophisticated as Australia and will understand all the nuances of Western men. 

5.  If you have a problem call the local police first.

6.  Don't worry about making Thais look bad in front of others, they get over it quick.

7.  Marry the cute youngest woman in the family. 

8.  Driving in Thailand is exactly like driving at home expect all the rules and drivers to be the same as your home country. 

[moe666]

10 hours ago, Elad said:

If you meet a lady DO NOT go to the village, because they'll take the shirt off your back. 

been to my girlfriends village many times just bought the beer, my wifes family have been more than gracious. 

[silver sea]

I have lived in Thailand, off and on, for about 6 years; mainly tourist areas like Samui and now Hua Hin.

 

I wouldn’t pretend to understand the intricacies of the wai. Of course, it would be nice to get it right every single time, but I don’t lose any sleep over it. If in doubt, I give a good genuine smile to the wai and say thank you. 

 

Sometimes I give a wai, if I feel intuitively it would be the right thing to do, particularly if it is someone older than me, although, as each year passes, sadly. I seem to be meeting fewer and fewer such people.

 

Surely, the important thing is that people are trying to be nice to each other. When I read the news about what happens in Thailand, back in the UK or in the world generally, I feel tense and very sad. I feel happier when I see little acts of kindness, smiles and wais between people in my every day life. If they wai inappropriately, then so what? 

 

If you are spending your life looking down your nose, or sniggering over your Chang, at other farang then that says more about you and your cultural arrogance then it does about their social gaucheness.

 

Try to lighten up; life is less serious than your ego tries to make you think it is ????

[wgdanson]

2 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

+1

Oops

Edited January 27, 2019 by wgdanson

[wgdanson]

19 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

Minimum is 800,000 in cash to be deposited in a Thai bank

Or you could do monthly transfers of 65k from your foreign bank to your Thai Bank............................................oops, wrong forum.   LOL

[neeray]

3 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Totally agree ! Its all about circunstance 

 

Just as it would be wrong in the handshake scenario if someone extended their hand and you didnt receive it.????

On my first trip to Thailand many moons ago, I stuck out my hand to shake hands with my "friend's" adult son. Poor kid did not know how to react. I felt like a total jerk.

That was my first day there. I learned quick after that.

[lanng khao]

The only wai you will get me doing is when I come up behind the long haired one,  grab her noms and go

Wehhey!!! To be fair, it nearly got me kicked out the KFC once.. 

[marcusarelus]

3 minutes ago, lanng khao said:

The only wai you will get me doing is when I come up behind the long haired one,  grab her noms and go

Wehhey!!! To be fair, it nearly got me kicked out the KFC once.. 

A great example of the topic of this thread.  Thanks. 

[jesimps]

Try to interfer when you see a guy giving his wife/girlfriend/any other Thai a severe beating.

[sanemax]

9 minutes ago, lanng khao said:

The only wai you will get me doing is when I come up behind the long haired one,  grab her noms and go

Wehhey!!! To be fair, it nearly got me kicked out the KFC once.. 

Are you referring to a females breasts ?

[jesimps]

36 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

The thread is how to fail miserably.  So I guess you mean, 1.  Pretend you are in your home country and interpret what you see and what you do with the same common sense you use at home.

2.  Thailand is just like home people are after all alike act accordingly.

3.  Don't respect the locals act just like you would at home and wear a chip on your shoulder for all authority figures.

4.  Thailand is just as modern and sophisticated as Australia and will understand all the nuances of Western men. 

5.  If you have a problem call the local police first.

6.  Don't worry about making Thais look bad in front of others, they get over it quick.

7.  Marry the cute youngest woman in the family. 

8.  Driving in Thailand is exactly like driving at home expect all the rules and drivers to be the same as your home country. 

"8.  Driving in Thailand is exactly like driving at home expect all the rules and drivers to be the same as your home country."

 

I assume you forgot to put the smiley at the end that one. If not, it's absolute nonsense and a typical example of the rubbish you get from the rosey specs brigade. Unless of course you're from Libya or India.

 

 

[sanemax]

Just now, jesimps said:

"8.  Driving in Thailand is exactly like driving at home expect all the rules and drivers to be the same as your home country."

 

I assume you forgot to put the smiley at the end that one. If not, it's absolute nonsense and a typical example of the rubbish you get from the rosey specs brigade. Unless of course you're from Libya or India.

 

 

Read that in conjunction with the thread title : ("How to fail in Thailand")

[lanng khao]

Are you referring to a females breasts ?

Haha, was only joking but the op has got all stressed out about it, questioning my right to be here on a spiritual path..

Sent from my SHT-W09 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[marcusarelus]

2 minutes ago, jesimps said:

"8.  Driving in Thailand is exactly like driving at home expect all the rules and drivers to be the same as your home country."

 

I assume you forgot to put the smiley at the end that one. If not, it's absolute nonsense and a typical example of the rubbish you get from the rosey specs brigade. Unless of course you're from Libya or India.

The topic is how to miserably fail in Thailand.