Two Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

This little boy and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls out a beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your ######?" to which the little boy responds "No." "Then you can't have one."

A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks, "Can I have on of those?" Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your ######?" to which the little boy responds "No." "Then you can't have one."

Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for food and each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the little boy says "I just won $50,000"

Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?" The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to touch your ######?" "Yes," Says grandpa. "Then go F*** yourself!"

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,

Self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat,contemplating Ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow Near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said:- "Elegant Lady, I was

Once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss From you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your Castle with my mother, where you can satisfy my needs,prepare and serve my Meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and Happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs Seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought To herself: I DON'T F*****G THINK SO!!!!!