3 Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his

friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance,

he would always reply, "It could have been worse."

To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation

so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.

On the golf course one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about

Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on him self!"

"That's awful," said Frank, "But it could have been worse."

"How in the hel_l," asked his bewildered friend, "Could it have been worse?"

"Well," replied Frank, "If it happened the night before, I'd be dead now!"

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.

The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, then demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about.

For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His

father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is

$80,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford

it." The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door

with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little

Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night & heard you

telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait

because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by

myself with an $80,000 mortgage & no bike!"