Dating advice.....possible, but not obvious "Sick buffalo"

[brokenbone]

27 minutes ago, Enki said:

@thaibeachlovers how does it come you know so much about whores and bars that employ whores?

i had an older friend that has only ever interacted

with prostitutes, so when we went shopping,

he turned into the usual pidgin english rampage,

yelling to the owner of the shop how he 'love thailand too much, want make many babies' etc, she by the looks of it thought she had a case of mental nutcase in her shop,

and my discomfort was limitless

Edited March 14, 2019 by brokenbone

[Date Masamune]

You're in way over your head emotionally. You honestly think a woman in Samui of all places owns several bars?

The land , the buildings, the leases, all likely in some other name she is at best a manager.

Could be an influential person, her "man" or even mafia or the chief of Police

Now you guys are getting it on, which is great,  and in typical fashion she is going to make you pay for it.

Every word out of her mouth is a lie eventually you will realize hopefully before you are financially trashed and emotionally involved.

 

Many decent women for you available in Thailand not "hotties" and certainly not a fake Samui bar owner

 

 

 

 

Edited March 14, 2019 by Date Masamune

[PingRoundTheWorld]

Owner or not - if she works at a bar then she's surrounded by bar girls and the culture that comes with that. She might be more picky than the average bar girl, but for the right guy (or right amount) it's highly likely she does go with customers. She went with you...

 

Inexperienced bar girls ask for money right away, experienced ones know that a "boyfriend" would be willing to spend significantly more on them later on. You haven't mentioned how much money you actually sent her, but surely it is a significant amount. Also keep in mind that a normal middle class Thai girl would be mortified to be thought of as a hooker and therefore would refuse any financial help like that, or at the very least only accept it as a loan. That she actually took the money is a huge red flag.

 

 

Either way - you've already spent the money - so enjoy the ride while it lasts. If she keeps coming up with reasons for you to "help", you'll know where you stand. If not - great. Just don't fall in love and keep your expectations low at least until you know her better.

 

[Enki]

 

3 minutes ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

You haven't mentioned how much money you actually sent her

He has mentioned. She never asked for money and he never gave her any. She payed her own bills and even invited him in restaurants ...

 

No idea why lost souls like you even comment here.

[Sealbash]

What is your age that you need TVF dating advice?


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[PingRoundTheWorld]

3 minutes ago, Enki said:

He has mentioned. She never asked for money and he never gave her any. She payed her own bills and even invited him in restaurants ...

"She didn't ask though - and seemed reluctant to accept my help, like I guess any normal person would. She hasn't yet asked for anything since."

 

That seems to imply he did send her money. But the OP can clarify.

[passiflora]

14 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

I get what you're saying but she also has a bachelor's in marketing and I don't think bar girls really end up buying the bar in most cases.... but I could be wrong. That's why I'm here. 

That's mean she probably has her M3 grade in pocket... 

[1FinickyOne]

16 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

which surprisingly, escalated

she accidentally stayed too late... do you think she was surprised? 

 

people who love flowers, work in flower shops until maybe one day they can afford to buy one, then 2 and 3 if successful. 

 

since we are all handsome here, being handsome is a commodity that is not worth too much... after that - what have you got? 

[Nyezhov]

7 hours ago, pr9spk said:

I would suggest that most of those who are now regretting living here are pensioners who are no longer able to have their pension income certified for visa purposes, and those that do not have, or want, to put 800k in a Thai bank. They will all be older, fatter, balder and potentially poorer than the OP. Each to their own.

 

The OP is only 35, is definitely not poor, and should be getting ready to have the time of his life with a lovely lady in a tropical country.

Dude this is the internet, for all we know you are the OP. Or you yourself are older, fatter, balder and poor.

 

Me: Im not much, but I look like Fabio is his younger days.

[brokenbone]

46 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

Dude this is the internet, for all we know you are the OP. Or you yourself are older, fatter, balder and poor.

 

Me: Im not much, but I look like Fabio is his younger days.

the one i resemble the most is manfred hoeberl in early 90's, cept i'm just a tad taller

Edited March 14, 2019 by brokenbone

[wolf81]

10 hours ago, brokenbone said:

ok, you might want to keep the house,

theres plenty here that are beginning to regret thailand

as the final destination, myself included.

perhaps you can rent it out long term,

you may want to forbid pets,

or at least have someone inspecting it regularly, an animal pissing about indoors

can cause need of repair that just makes it

a net loss, all the while laws strongly favor

those who rent so its not easy to get rid of them either

I would agree to keep the house in Germany as well. I got an apartment in The Netherlands and previously thought on selling it, since I am living in Thailand since 2018. I did feel it'd be too risky, too much "putting all eggs in one basket". I have my girlfriend and daughter here in Thailand and I can keep the property in The Netherlands safely in my name just in case things wouldn't work out in the future (this happens to a lot of farang!). I can easily go back to The Netherlands and work and live there if needed (even if I don't really want to). Or rent out the apartment and make passive income to provide for my family or (if things wouldn't work out) provide for myself and my daughter while living in Thailand.

 

It's good to have options, even if it's tempting to just sell the whole lot and buy a beautiful mansion and swimming pool here in my girlfriends' name. 

[wolf81]

3 hours ago, Sealbash said:

What is your age that you need TVF dating advice?


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

Can never be too old for that I'd think.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

Also keep in mind that a normal middle class Thai girl would be mortified to be thought of as a hooker and therefore would refuse any financial help like that, or at the very least only accept it as a loan.

 Pretend to be mortified ....... maybe ....... and never pay it back.

Edited March 14, 2019 by BritManToo

[Dumbastheycome]

18 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

I'll also mention, I talked about selling my house in Germany in a few years to buy one in Thailand and start a business (not with her, just in general). She told me she didn't think I should sell my house..... if she wanted to use me for money, wouldn't she have been ALLL OVER THAT shit??

Based on what you have detailed  it  may just be  you are onto a good thing.....IF you keep it on the terms as is.

Give her credit for maybe some suspicion you are the one hoping to take advantage. 

Use the  KISS  principle=Keep it  simple stupid.

[Parsve]

Many farangs say Thai women are fake and just looking for money. It is not true, it is about a cultural and economic difference. If you ask a western woman what she wants of a relationship, she responds, love and security. If you ask an Asian woman the same thing, she will answer security and love, the same thing, but in reverse order.

My advice to you is, if you like her, continue. You have a chance to be happy with her and you can always step back at any time.

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, Parsve said:

Many farangs say Thai women are fake and just looking for money. It is not true, it is about a cultural and economic difference. If you ask a western woman what she wants of a relationship, she responds, love and security. If you ask an Asian woman the same thing, she will answer security and love, the same thing, but in reverse order.

My advice to you is, if you like her, continue. You have a chance to be happy with her and you can always step back at any time.

Nearly all women are fake, no need to bring race or nationality into the discussion.

[Stevemercer]

Look, don't over think it. If you like her then run with it. Just enjoy your time with her and see where it runs.

 

Her interest will wane if you are not in Thailand. IT is not as though you have known each other for long. She does not know if you will return or not and has her own life to get on with. 

[Vacuum]

20 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

Thoughts??

Run.

[Pravda]

I find thread like this really boring. Basically another sex tourist comes to Thailand, convinces himself he is somewhat special and goes to write a few paragraphs about how special he is.

 

Another poster actually put it quite nicely. Everyone here is hunsum. What other commodity you got? Everyone here can get laid. The lady is 41, has a bar where girls are being bought lady drinks and somehow he manages to compare it to a bar in San Diego. Not really, you should compare it to something more like; today I took a public transport in San Diego. I'm so special and I'll post about it on San Diego forum.

[khunPer]

20 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

I'll also mention, I talked about selling my house in Germany in a few years to buy one in Thailand and start a business (not with her, just in general). She told me she didn't think I should sell my house..... if she wanted to use me for money, wouldn't she have been ALLL OVER THAT shit??

I know a number of Thai bar-owner ladies at Samui, ranging from golds diggers that got a foreign ex husband to pay for the bar, to pure business ladies that finds a beer bars with girls as a better income than for example a fashion shop.

 

A lady having a bar, or three, could of course also look for a date, or a handsome man, or a boyfriend/husband.

 

All the bar-owner ladies I know have different stories, so one cannot generalize among bar owners, but probably just like dating any other Thai lady active in running a business that require lots of attention. I know numerous ladies with a business having, or looking for, a handsome foreign partner (foreigners can be highly valued, and I not talking about elder "rich" men).

 

If you already have in mind to move to Thailand next winter – eventually Samui..? – then just take it easy, keep contact, and let the relationship develop in a natural way, like you would do with any normal date. However, you have the cultural gap between the Western life-style, and the Thai-way-of-thinking, so the best advise I can give you is to, as soon as possible, get hand of the book "Thailand Fever", which will give you a better understanding of a relationship with a Thai, vice versa. The book is also available in German Language. You can read more about Thailand Fever here. You can buy the book online from for example Amazon.

 

Before you finally decide a move to Thailand, you should both check carefully potential places of interest in the Kingdom, for example Samui, and your possibilities of staying there; like what do you intend to live of, and what kind of visa you can have, like a visa for business/work permit, or for example Thailand Elite Card. Its not easy for a foreigner to legally buy a house (and land) in Thailand, but not impossible either; however need really careful planning, and thinking over the financial aspects and risk.

 

Your "red flag" might just be a conversation to explain about a busy present situation, or it could be a carefully planned genuine red flag; the latter you'll know if asked about "helping a little bit", and then it might be time to think.

 

If you can afford it, and have time for it, take that trip back to Samui in two month time, and find out if there seem to be serious mutual interest in a relationship, so much easier in "real life" than via network...????

 

 

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

11 hours ago, rumak said:

you probably need business advice more than dating advice .   but heck,  no advice is ever taken, is it ?

live and learn.... 

That's hilarious! I work in corporate finance as well as owning my own small business. I'm glad you were able to assess my business acumen just from a few posts on a forum! ????????????????

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

9 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

How many Thai women have you been involved with to know differently?

Most of the guys on here have been round the block in Thailand several times, been conned, scammed a few times, learned the hard way which way is up in LOS.

There has been a lot of good advice given, and the nasty posts don't have to be taken to heart. It is after all, just words on the page.

 

despite the fact that nobody even knows who she is.

LOL. We've probably met her type before, and some of us may even have had the pleasure of her "company".

Sure, some replies may be a bit harsh, but that's because some of us have been reading basically the same story multiple times over the years. The OP isn't the first, and certainly won't be the last in that situation. Only the minor details will be different.

 

Jealous? Why would we be? We've probably had dozens of similar women in our time, and some of us may even have married them, for better or worse,

 

Another know it all who doesn't know jack.....

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

7 hours ago, passiflora said:

That's mean she probably has her M3 grade in pocket... 

Not sure what is meant by that but I stayed at her place for a week and she has her graduation photos and degree just above her desk. 

[The Theory]

23 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

Her shy personality (she claims it's this) or 4. This is how Thai women are or can be?? 

The answer is definitly yes, especially an ex-bar girl (currently owner) could be very shy. 

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

2 hours ago, Pravda said:

I find thread like this really boring. Basically another sex tourist comes to Thailand, convinces himself he is somewhat special and goes to write a few paragraphs about how special he is.

 

Another poster actually put it quite nicely. Everyone here is hunsum. What other commodity you got? Everyone here can get laid. The lady is 41, has a bar where girls are being bought lady drinks and somehow he manages to compare it to a bar in San Diego. Not really, you should compare it to something more like; today I took a public transport in San Diego. I'm so special and I'll post about it on San Diego forum.

Well why don't you whine about it then? First of all, I've been to Thailand twice an this was the first time I had sex with anyone. I am not a sex tourist like you and the herd of other like-minded idiots here. Second, I came here to ask for real advice for a real life situation. Third, I am not here to entertain you. If you don't like the post or it "bores you" then move the f*** on!!! 

Edited March 14, 2019 by sofreshnsocleanclean

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

Just now, The Theory said:

The answer is definitly yes, especially an ex-bar girl (currently owner) could be very shy. 

Don't know what you're implying but she is quiet and shy. It took forever to get her to talk to me. She stays in the background.

[BritManToo]

Just now, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

Don't know what you're implying but she is quiet and shy. It took forever to get her to talk to me. She stays in the background.

Same with the bar owner I banged.

Took her two weeks of playing 'hard to get' before she banged me.

Even longer before I could get the damned towel off her.

 

You aren't describing an unusual game, the girls all play the same games.

Other games involve, cheap phones, junker cars, sick/dead relatives, and houses in need of urgent repair.

[Tomahawk21]

22 hours ago, grollies said:

Go for it.

how does the saying go ? if it too good to be true it generally is 

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Same with the bar owner I banged.

Took her two weeks of playing 'hard to get' before she banged me.

Even longer before I could get the damned towel off her.

 

You aren't describing an unusual game, the girls all play the same games.

Other games involve, cheap phones, junker cars, sick/dead relatives, and houses in need of urgent repair.

I appreciate your input. You're much more reasonable then half the idiots here. Even if in my case the situation is different - which may or MAY NOT be. We will see. 

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

1 minute ago, Tomahawk21 said:

how does the saying go ? if it too good to be true it generally is 

Nothing about it seems too good to be true. I never said that I'm totally in love and that this is the woman of my dreams. I am being cautious.