Do you hate your father

[EVENKEEL]

20 hours ago, Spidey said:

Thanks. very interesting and insightful. Not a dissimilar story to @marcusarelus really.

 

Similar to the deprecating comments that my father said to me. As an only child, he used to say that I had always held him back and if it weren't for me being born he would have really made something of his life.

 

Now @EVENKEEL here we have 2 posters who are candidates for worst poster of the year having very similar family backgrounds and regularly spatting with each other. Analysis please.

 

 

 

 

May I first say WOW, perhaps we could have an award for poster with worst childhood. This should be an excellent incentive to be the best parent you can be. 

[Scott]

Troll post and reply reported and removed.

 

[Pattayabeerbacon]

Ten days sober today.

 

I Have chosen to go back to australia.

 

I feel no meaningful purpose here in Cambodia and feel bad asking my parents for money.

 

I will however be furthering my education with a horticulture certificate to allow a foot inn the door with the local shire.

 

Thanks all for acknowledging my threads and for your opinion and advice.   

[Patong2]

Good choice

Wish you the best of luck.

 

[remorhaz]

On 4/29/2019 at 1:04 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

BS!

You will find good and bad parents and kids and wives in any generation.

Blaming boomers or millennials or whatever is a cheap excuse.

Obviously hit a little too close to home for you huh?  the truth must hurt.

[Lacessit]

5 hours ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

Ten days sober today.

 

I Have chosen to go back to australia.

 

I feel no meaningful purpose here in Cambodia and feel bad asking my parents for money.

 

I will however be furthering my education with a horticulture certificate to allow a foot inn the door with the local shire.

 

Thanks all for acknowledging my threads and for your opinion and advice.   

Good luck. Bear in mind the Gary Player golf aphorism " The more I practise, the luckier I get".

[richard_smith237]

13 minutes ago, remorhaz said:

On 4/29/2019 at 12:04 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

BS!

You will find good and bad parents and kids and wives in any generation.

Blaming boomers or millennials or whatever is a cheap excuse.

Obviously hit a little too close to home for you huh?  the truth must hurt.

 

No... but accusing a 'single generation' of being the worst (quoted below) is just an unintelligent comment...  and to counter the response with 'hitting too close to home' is equally as dim... 

 

Quote

   On 4/29/2019 at 9:32 AM,  remorhaz said: 

Boomer parents are the worst generation to ever curse this Earth. 

 

[Lacessit]

On 4/29/2019 at 9:36 PM, gk10002000 said:

  So maybe watching him smoke, and drink too much and piss away his money and have no financial acumen, maybe that consciously or subconsciously taught me a lesson or two that I learned and I did not repeat his mistakes. 

It seems each generation charts their own course . As I said before on this thread, my father worked at a job he hated for 40 years. I worked at a job I loved with various companies for the same time.

My son has only worked full-time at a job for one month of his life. He is content with a simple life. Complete opposite to my life-long work ethic. However, he is also a third-dan black belt in Muay Thai karate, and builds desktop computers on commission for advanced gamers. Teaches women self-defence part-time. I am proud of him.

[RJRS1301]

On 4/29/2019 at 11:30 AM, bikerlou47 said:

 My father is OK.

My mother is a piece of shit!

I lucked out with both biological parents and stepmother horobilus .  Biological father remains alive( well breathing and independent) at 98 too much of a prick to cease breathing

[RJRS1301]

6 hours ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

Ten days sober today.

 

I Have chosen to go back to australia.

 

I feel no meaningful purpose here in Cambodia and feel bad asking my parents for money.

 

I will however be furthering my education with a horticulture certificate to allow a foot inn the door with the local shire.

 

Thanks all for acknowledging my threads and for your opinion and advice.   

Good luck matey

Remember each day sober is a triumph for you.

Seek counselling and support, and each day sober will make you stronger for the next.

Contact an Alcohol Counsellor in your local region for support.

 

[RJRS1301]

On 4/30/2019 at 8:47 AM, suzannegoh said:

Maybe not as spoiled as Aussies who have enough money to buy an iPhone and a plane ticket to Thailand and then complain that if they don't go back to Oz after a certain amount of time they'll get cut off the dole.  But it's close.

Centrelink and Immigration share information swaps every 24 hours, Unemployment benefits cease the day they leave the country, unless the have been granted a dispensation under very strict conditions and very limited period of time.

The same happens with DSP recipients payments.

Aged pensions depending on length of time employed and lived in Australia will continue without rental assistance paid (if you were receiving that benefit)  

[Lacessit]

2 hours ago, RJRS1301 said:

Centrelink and Immigration share information swaps every 24 hours, Unemployment benefits cease the day they leave the country, unless the have been granted a dispensation under very strict conditions and very limited period of time.

The same happens with DSP recipients payments.

Aged pensions depending on length of time employed and lived in Australia will continue without rental assistance paid (if you were receiving that benefit)  

That grates with me as well. We would save Centrelink millions in rent assistance. They also don't have to pay supplements for power and phone, yet we are treated like lepers because we have decided to live outside Australia. Heaven help you if you are not in Australia when you qualify for the OAP. Tight-arsed <deleted>

[Pattayabeerbacon]

19 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

That grates with me as well. We would save Centrelink millions in rent assistance. They also don't have to pay supplements for power and phone, yet we are treated like lepers because we have decided to live outside Australia. Heaven help you if you are not in Australia when you qualify for the OAP. Tight-arsed <deleted>

 

 

If you keep them in country the money circulates and eventually returns to government through the taxs.

 

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

 

 

If you keep them in country the money circulates and eventually returns to government through the taxs.

 

True. However, living under a bridge in Oz has no appeal for me.

The innocence of youth. If it wasn't for the abject incompetence of politicians and government bodies such as ASIC and APRA before, during and after the GFC, I'd be in Thailand without the need for any form of government support.

[bendejo]

11 hours ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

I Have chosen to go back to australia.

Best of luck.

 

 

[dddave]

12 hours ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

Ten days sober today.

 

I Have chosen to go back to australia.

 

I feel no meaningful purpose here in Cambodia and feel bad asking my parents for money.

 

I will however be furthering my education with a horticulture certificate to allow a foot inn the door with the local shire.

 

Thanks all for acknowledging my threads and for your opinion and advice.   

Good luck and best wishes for a new path for you.

 

It would seem that in writing your original and subsequent posts, you forced yourself to confront issues that you had long been sidestepping.  I urge you to consider keeping a daily journal as you move ahead.  It doesn't have to be more than a line or two a day, but keeping up  an ongoing conversation with yourself will help you adjust to each days challenges and keep you focused on your longer term goal of self sufficiency.

[GinBoy2]

So I think like many males I had a strained relationship with my Dad through my teens and 20's, but even though we butted heads more a few times, I always loved him, and he was essentially a good guy.

 

As we both aged, especially after the death of my Mom we got a lot closer right up to his death.

 

He wasn't rich, was a farm laborer, and part of our divergence, was after I went to college, our world views were totally different, and the fervor of youthful male testosterone sometimes made that head butting a little heated

 

But as the years went by that just sort of seemed less and less important, and he was just my Dad who I loved, and I knew he loved me, which is the beauty of parents most of which love our kids unconditionally. 

[davidst01]

On 4/28/2019 at 7:53 PM, Nyezhov said:

Damn! There are some personal and family tragedies being spewed out here. I look at the guys with hard lives who seem to be quite normal, me, I had a nice normal family life and Im as looney as two hoodrats on acid playing mumblety peg with chainsaws. 

I can relate to this. Comment of the yr

[davidst01]

This is a great thread. Interesting to read all the stories. 

 

My dad who is still alive is a great guy. Smart, honorable and high integrity. He can do anything he turns a hand to. Hes still married to my mum and into the religion. He will die a respected man one day. Better man than I will ever be. 

[Purdey]

On 4/29/2019 at 8:56 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

My hobby psychology instinct tells me that a big part of your success is/was that you worked hard to show your father you can do it. I am sure you enjoy your car and your house. But it seems you would enjoy it a lot more if you could have shown it to your father and told him something like: See, you were wrong. I did it!

So it seems you did what you did primarily because of your father...

Thanks but not sure of this (not a psychologies). I bought the house because I am married and need a house. I bought the sportscar because I had always wanted one since 17 or 18. I think the motivation was living in a country thousands of kilometers from the UK and needing to survive and knowing that I enjoyed what I was doing. I am rather lazy too...

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎4‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 8:38 PM, 473geo said:

My parents were not rich, but offered everything they could that I may have a successful life. Sure when I was young I had to work hard on the farm, nothing was for free except lessons on life.

Both my parents were always there if I needed them, for that I will always be grateful, the rest of my life, good, and, not so good, is down to me.

I like to think my father was a good man, with the best intentions, which occasionally he did not quite meet, but over all did an excellent job providing a sound character base for me to make my own way in life.

He also created family values, a family who when required are there for each other.

I wasn't sure that I wanted to reply to this thread, but my 5 cents worth.

For reasons I'm not going into on here, my father changed from a "normal" parent to a cold fish, and never gave me any support or encouragement. Never wrote a proper letter to me ( I used to write to him ), never gave me anything I needed when he was alive, though he did pay for an expensive education in boarding school, so he rarely saw me. Tried to make me pay rent when I was on school holiday and working a holiday job.

My fear as a child was that my parents would abandon me, and when I grew old enough to understand stuff, I realised that although they didn't throw me out of the house, they abandoned me emotionally. Hard times for a child.

I didn't/don't hate him, but he ceased to be part of my life long before he died.